By Leanne Ashley
Quick summary: (AU) SeeD battles Ultimecia & her followers. When a prophecy foretells the coming of a savior (Sorceress Rinoa) SeeD, led by Squall, is ordered to protect her from Galbadia's assassins as she journeys to defeat Ultimecia. Squall/Rinoa
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Chapter 17: The Worst Mistake
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I shouldn't have made that promise. But a lie would be more comforting than the truth ever could… The truth being I really didn't know what the hell was going to happen…
Shit… Squall had thought remorsefully. Rinoa, I… don't know what to say…
The night can do some funny things to a person. Usually it's meant for sleeping, dreaming… but for others, a time to think something through till you've dissected it completely. Leaving the remains of fragmented thoughts; the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle that by all means when put together, is merely a piece to an even greater jigsaw puzzle.
Since childhood, Squall had too many thoughts to count. Too many worries, too many frustrations. They kept him up at night. Whether it was about a mission or merely a routine recruit interview the next day, he often glared about it too much after the sun went down.
This night of course, wouldn't have been any different. In fact, it should've been worse. With all that was happening, Squall knew he'd be up thinking about Rinoa, the mission, the prophecy… He'd be lucky if he could catch a few minutes of sleep throughout the whole night; it was natural after all.
But something was different this time…
Squall decided to keep a barrier between Rinoa and himself by not sleeping beside her. But as he sat in the isle on the floor leaning his head against one of the seats, Rinoa got up from where she rested and kneeled down beside him. She didn't speak a word as her infinite brown eyes watched him curiously. He was lost in them… the good kind of lost. The kind where you didn't want to find your way back and you'd fight to the death to make sure you didn't.
"Squall, I… umm…" She was shaking slightly-but not from the cold. "Can I just… stay with you?"
He wasn't particularly sure what she meant, but agreed nonetheless. "Okay…"
Every light from the night sky seemed to sparkle across her eyes as she smiled and took hold of his hand. He tilted his head questionably at her, but didn't argue or resist as she raised his arm and crawled in beside him. She winked at him coyly before lowering his arm around her shoulders. He smirked at first, but smiled and held her close as she rested her head under his chin.
It was comforting. Settling…
How does she do that…?
Without thinking, he kissed the top of her head and leaned back against the seat once more. His impression was that she would sleep, he would protect her all night and then argue with his thoughts till morning. But that was when something was different…
He fell asleep.
The morning had been exhausting. With a loud "Ahem" from Zell, Squall and Rinoa had woken up to a number of amused spectators.
"So, what were you guys up to last night?" Zell asked with a smirk.
Squall shrugged uncomfortably and got up quickly to his feet. "None of your damn business."
Rinoa shot Squall a look before clearing her throat. "Actually… there is something we have to tell you all…"
The conversation had been long and grew increasingly difficult to comprehend. Rinoa was Rin, there was a purpose behind their tarnished memories, and part of Rinoa really was an actual human being. Needless to say, a lot of questions were asked. Skepticism was unavoidable… and why wouldn't it be? Their pasts had been entwined with Rinoa since before they met and now they were coincidentally destined to be her protectors. However, the revelation had struck a chord.
"Hey…" Zell said slowly. "Quistis, remember what we were talking about in the sewers?"
"That thing in which you couldn't remember?" Quistis recollected.
"Yeah! That's what I was trying to bring up! That thing that Squall couldn't let go of?"
Squall turned to him sharply. "What?"
"After Rin left the orphanage, you—"
"Zell!" Quistis cut in. "I got it! You can leave it alone now."
Squall let out a sigh of frustration. "We don't need to have it all flood back at once."
"This is like, so weird…" Selphie said quietly from where she sat. "The name 'Rin' is actually kinda familiar… and I can somehow picture her in my head…"
"Kinda hurts," Irvine added as he removed his hat to rub his temple. "I'm trying so hard to remember but… nothing."
Quistis placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You've had it done more than once… I'm not surprised."
"Double whammy," Zell chuckled slightly. "Don't strain yourself, buddy."
"Irvine," Rinoa said suddenly. "If… everything works out with Ultimecia and I'm still around… I'll try getting your memory back… Everyone's." she added quickly at the end. They had given her so much and yet she had only taken away… perhaps she was at fault for everything.
"Thanks, Rinoa." Irvine said smiling. "You're a babe."
Squall headed for the doors but stopped and turned briefly to the others. "Let's get upstairs. I hate to bring it up, but the last day of the alignment is tomorrow. We can't waste time on this."
"He's right," Selphie admitted as she turned to Rinoa. "So! Got any ideas on where you want me to fly this thing?"
The sorceress let her gaze fall to the window. "It's…uhh…" She clasped her eyes shut and began tracing an invisible line in the air with her fingertips. Suddenly, she dropped her hand only to shake her head in frustration. "No good…" she murmured. "I need a better visual to work with-" Rinoa stopped and turned to Selphie. "Got a map up there?"
Once they were all upstairs in the main control room, Rinoa began staring hard at the computer's digital map. She glided her fingers slowly across the screen trying to pinpoint a location using her natural sorceress intuition. She could feel the waves of energy flowing in from one annoyingly unspecific direction. Somehow, she had to convert what she was 'feeling' into something that could be seen by the others without using any real magic.
"Are you feeling okay?" Squall asked after several minutes.
She sighed from the amount of taxation. "Yeah, it's just…it's a little tough without using my powers."
Squall nodded his understanding and Rinoa continued. The others remained silent so she could concentrate. After circling the screen several times, her fingers finally came to a rest. She opened her eyes and cocked her head to the side. "What island is that?"
Squall got up quickly to join her and stared into the screen. "The 'Island Closest to Hell'…" he muttered under his breath. Zell practically fell from his chair. "Dude, are you kidding me!?"
Rinoa raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What's the Island Closest to Hell?"
"It's a monster infestation," Squall said shaking his head. "A lot of rare beasts… most of them damn near impossible to kill."
"Are the Gates of Time there?" Quistis asked. Rinoa nodded with some hesitation. "I'm most certain."
Trying her best to stay optimistic, Selphie leaped into the pilot's chair and began starting the engine. "Well, if it's where we gotta go, then it's where we gotta go!"
The power of the Ragnarok was unimaginable. It traveled at incredible speeds due to the fact that it was also made for the purpose of spacecraft. As the plane approached the rather small island, blazing streaks of blue light were seen exploding from random areas of the forest.
"What is that…?" asked Rinoa.
"Blue orbs," Quistis explained. "The island itself has a bit of a security system. We must be very careful of those when travelling in the heavily wooded areas."
When the plane finally landed on the sandy shores of the island, Squall took out his gunblade and rested it up against his shoulder. "You girls stay here for a couple minutes," he instructed. "Me, Irvine and Zell are gonna go secure the area."
The three of them descended the Ragnarok and drew out their weapons.
The shore, as expected, was deserted for the most part. Zell relaxed and patted a hand on Squall's shoulder. "Hey buddy, I've been meaning to ask…what's going on with you and Rinoa?"
The young Commander sighed in aggravation, but then noticed that Irvine was watching him oddly from the corner of his eye. Oh right… Squall remembered. Irvine had been the one who told him that feeling something for Rinoa wasn't right. That he had to let it go before it was too late. Maybe it'll somehow make things easier…
"I don't know what you're talking about." Squall told Zell roughly.
"Sure ya do!" the blonde boy persisted. "What was all that cuddling you two did last night, huh?"
"She was cold," he answered simply. "I was suppose to let our Savior freeze to death?"
Irvine was still watching Squall; unconvinced.
Zell, on the other hand, was growing increasingly confused. "B-But that stuff you told us before…?"
"Temporary infatuation," Squall shrugged with an almost military-like tone. "I take it all back."
"But, Squall—"
"Zell, PLEASE. Just leave it alone!" he exploded suddenly. "It doesn't matter now, and even if it did, it wouldn't anyway because I don't love her, alright?!"
"Squall…"
"Do I fucking have to spell it for you, Zell? I'm here to protect her so I can get paid. Happy now?"
Zell dropped his gaze to the ground and this time, Irvine was the one to speak. "Hey, uhh…" His eyes shifted uncomfortably behind Squall and then back again. He could feel his stomach immediately freeze.
"Hey…" came the familiar voice from behind. Squall shut his eyes and cursed silently to himself.
"…I can feel the time magic. It's pretty much everywhere," Rinoa continued from where she stood beside the lift. "I just need a little more time to pinpoint the actual location of the Gates. I hope that's okay."
Silence.
Squall didn't know what to say as he stared at her blankly with an almost moronic expression. His mouth felt dry as he opened it to speak… He wanted to explain…apologize…anything that was the actual truth! But instead, all that came out was an awkward: "Sure."
She smiled sadly as she brushed past him and began walking along the shore.
Zell whistled shortly and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Tried to warn ya, man…"
Irvine shook his head and wrapped an arm around Squall's shoulder. "Look, I know what you're trying to do…"
"Get off." Squall warned as he pushed off Irvine's grip.
"It was for the best, but I don't think it's going to work anymore. Not for you." he continued, "It's …too late for that."
"It's too late for a lot of things…" Squall muttered.
"Hey, I hate to interrupt," Zell said awkwardly. "But I can't see Rinoa anywhere."
"She's probably in the woods," Squall assumed, thankful for the slight shift in conversation. "I'll go look after her. You guys go get the others and prepare the weapons."
As he turned his back and began walking towards the woods, he heard Irvine's voice behind him. "Squall, just forget what I said! Do whatever you feel, okay? Things'll probably work out for the best!" Followed by a curious, "Why? What did you say?" from Zell.
As Rinoa reached a clearing in the woods, she saw the bright yellow creature again. It flapped its feathered wings and approached her cautiously this time instead of moving further away. She had spied it while on the beach; a yellow Chocobo.
The large, gentle bird walked close enough so she could extend her hand and run it gently across its bronze-colored beak. She laughed with amazement as the Chocobo seemed to purr softly under her touch.
"You're the prettiest Chocobo I've ever seen," she paused thoughtfully to herself. "Well, you're the only Chocobo I've ever seen… but I'm sure you're the prettiest."
The yellow bird nudged its head playfully at her so she could pet the top of its head. She smiled and sighed as she stroked the soft yellow feathers. She had heard every word that Squall seemed to announce to the universe, yet a part of her was somewhat glad to hear it. If love wasn't holding her back then she could do everything without hesitation. If Squall was merely infatuated then it would end soon enough.
Still… Rinoa thought sadly. It felt real. I was happy…
Suddenly, the Chocobo lifted its head and ran off deeper into the woods.
I seem to have that effect… she thought dryly.
"Rinoa!"
She turned in surprise to see Squall approaching her from behind. She could only guess that he was there to explain himself.
"Squall, listen—" Rinoa began but stopped when she noticed something odd about his expression. His cold blue eyes appeared shocked, scared and surprised all at the same time. Even though he was standing several feet away, she could tell he looked worn out, as if he had been chasing after her.
"Squall? Is everything alright?"
Before he could open his mouth to speak, his eyes darted quickly into the woods behind her where a bright light seemed to manifest itself out of nowhere…
"So that's why Squall had the sudden change of heart…" Zell mused. "YOU got under his skin!"
"I only told him what we were all thinking!" Irvine said in his defense. "You could tell he didn't mean it anyway… Poor Rinoa though."
"Don't tell me she overheard his ramblings…" Quistis sighed.
"Walked right into the middle of it," Zell said shaking his head. "She didn't get upset or anything though. Actually she didn't mention it."
"I would've slapped him so hard…" Selphie giggled half-heartedly.
"They've been gone a long time…" Irvine said suddenly as he finished reloading his rifle. He got up impatiently and stared off into the woods. "I hope everything's-"
"HEY!!" came a loud shout from the woods. They recognized it immediately to be their leader's voice. "You guys, get over here!"
They grabbed their weapons quickly and darted off into the woods. "Watch out for any of that flying blue shit!" Zell warned over his shoulder.
When they reached a clearing, they saw Squall on his knees bent over Rinoa's body. He was checking her vital signs desperately while she lay motionless on the earth's cold ground.
"Shit!" Squall cursed angrily. "I think she got hit by a blue orb… she's not waking up."
C'mon, Rinoa… Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…
Authors note: For those of you who didn't play the game as obsessively as I did, the Island Closest to Hell is a real place on the FF8 world map (as is the Island Closest to Heaven) good place to level up and recieve rare items (but there are no flying balls of blue magic lol I made that up) You can't really tell now.. but this chapter is very, VERY significant to the ending so I'm sure you'll come back to it later ;) Mwahaha btw, thanks Dark Angels and lady-rinoa for being patient with me. I am part snail after all P
