Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, and if I did, it sure as hell would have had a different ending. I always felt that Yui was much too stoic considering everything that she had gone through, so I decided to delve into her mind and bring forth the dark, angst-ridden thoughts I am sure she really entertained. Spoilers ahead, so read only if you've seen the entire series. Takes place before the OVA's. Read and review!!!!!


The book was closed.

The story was over.

Had any of it been real?

A part of her wanted to deny everything that had happened in the Universe of the Four Gods. She wanted nothing more than to forget and move on. However, it was impossible.

Every time she saw the deliriously happy look in her friend's eyes as she clutched at her blue-haired soul mate, laughing and smiling and excluding her once best friend from her life, she remembered.

Every time she saw the scars on her wrists, felt the biting pain of the blade, she remembered.

Every time she looked in the mirror and saw the dull, hollow depths of her once-vibrant eyes, she remembered.

He had loved her; she wasn't stupid, though in retrospect, it was so glaringly obvious that she did not understand what had kept her from seeing it. She had noticed his affections, the way he put up with her attitude and followed her around faithfully, but she had been so consumed by thoughts of anger and revenge and bitterness that she hadn't seen it.

He had died loving her. And for what? What had she done to deserve that sort of sacrifice? She had yelled at him, scorned him, done everything in her power to push him away. And yet…he had stubbornly stuck by her side and protected her, setting aside a little place in his heart where only his aniki had been able to rest. He had been willing to risk everything for her when he knew that the chance of her returning his feelings was small.

He had died for her.

And only now, after hundreds of years and the bindings on a book separated them, did she realize what he truly meant to her.

Too late! a voice in her mind chortled. Too late, too late, too late!

"Shut up!" she cried, hands lashing out at the empty air, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Empty.

Alone.

She was alone. Alone, alone, alone. She had no one to hold her and wipe away her tears and promise her that everything would be all right. The world had turned its back on her, punishing her for her actions, and she was completely, utterly alone.

All because of that stupid book.

If they had never opened it…if she had never started reading it…if she had just denied that she knew any ancient Chinese and threw the book back on the shelf and walked away…none of this would have happened. She would still have her best friend; her grades would not be plummeting; she would still smile and laugh and tease Miaka about her insatiable appetite.

She would still have her life.

But she would never have met him.

Not that it mattered, right? He was just a character in a book, a fictional image existing only on crisp, white pages; he wasn't real, right?

Like Tamahome. Taka. But he was real, flesh and blood and tears, his golden eyes laughing at her because he had taken away her best friend, killed the boy she loved, and left her with nothing.

He was dead, and no amount of regrets could bring him back; no regrets, no tears, no tantrums, no screams. Nothing could turn back time and change the writing on the pages. The story was over.

Her story had ended.

"Lady Yui…"

She jerked to a sitting position, cramming herself against her headboard and staring around suspiciously. Who had spoken? Had she finally lost the tiny shred of sanity she had clung to?

Ghostly fingers trailed along her bare arm, raising goosebumps and heat in equal measure. She gasped as a hazy, nearly transparent form coalesced in front of her.

"S-suboshi?"

He smiled, his incorporeal form kneeling over her, blonde bangs falling over his eyes. He gently caressed her cheek, his touch like a gentle breeze.

"I'm sorry, Lady Yui…I couldn't protect you…"

His form began to fade.

"I'm sorry…"

"Suboshi!" she cried, flinging out her arms, trying to grab him and hold him and keep him with her. Her hands slid through him, meeting nothing but air. She felt panicked; she was losing him again.

With a tired, sad smile, he vanished.

"Suboshi!" she screamed, curling in on herself and sobbing. "I'm so sorry…I love you…"

But it was too late. She was alone, and she always would be.