I had never felt so wretched in my entire life!

Upon awakening, I was dismayed at the most putrid taste in my mouth. Gagging, I barely made it to the chamber pot in time before I violently retched up all of the contents of my stomach. Repeatedly, I was sick until there was nothing left to come up, but I still felt nauseous. I wanted to die. As a child, I had suffered frequent stomach ailments and had had more than my share of this particular kind of suffering. But this seemed worse somehow, like it would never end…

When Erik entered my bedroom, he was greeted with the pretty picture of me sitting on the edge of the bed, doubled over with my head between my hands, the room reeking of vomit. I was annoyed to see that Erik appeared to be in particularly fine form today. There seemed to be a bit more spring in his step, a bit more color in his complexion. In fact, he looked positively robust!

"Oh, no…" he said. "Oh, my poor child…"

I was humiliated beyond belief for him to see me in such a state. Perhaps this was God's way of punishing me for my transgressions of last night. I wanted to cry but was afraid that that would perhaps start a whole new cycle of gagging.

"Erik, please leave me…I don't want you to see me this way…God, I feel as if I had been poisoned!"

"Don't talk nonsense, Angelica. I shall be back in a few moments with some tea."

"No!" I cried out. The thought of swallowing anything made me grimace with abhorrence. But he had already left.

I lay back on the bed, fervently wishing that God would just let me die in peace. But I supposed that I had earned my suffering. After all, I had told dreadful lies time and again yesterday. I had committed sinful acts with a man who was not my husband and was reputed to be a murderer. Oh, yes, I had an appointment with hell soon enough!

"Here, my darling, drink this." Erik returned with a tea tray, placing it upon the bed.

I pushed the steaming hot liquid away from me. "Erik…please…I am ill just looking at it…"

"You must drink it, Angelica. It will make you feel better." He tried to bring the tea cup to my lips.

"All right, you don't have to force it down me, for God's sake!" I moaned. Tentatively drinking the brew, I noticed an odd smell to it. "What sort of tea is this?"

"It has ginger in it. Ginger has been known for some time to have soothing effects on the stomach. Drink it all."

Squirming with discomfort, I managed to down the rest of the horrid stuff and was relieved when I had finished.

"Now hold this to your nose." It was a handkerchief with the scent of lemon on it.

After a few minutes, I was feeling marginally better. Not well, but at least no longer feeling like I would retch at any moment.

"Do you think we should make another trip to the infirmary?"

I shook my head. Even if I was willing to face the risk of my earlier deception being uncovered, I did not think that I could bear a long carriage ride.

"I think it may have passed," I said.


It hadn't.

Once the nauseousness had passed, my body suffered with intense chills. After an hour or so in this condition, I was so weak and exhausted that I would slide in and out of consciousness. At one point, I could have sworn that Erik had lain next to me on the bed, holding me close to him, stroking my hair, sobbing and repeating "…all my fault…all my fault…"

My muscles would throb and ache with agonizing persistence, causing me to thrash from side to side. Erik coaxed me onto my stomach, slipped off my nightgown despite my protests, and began to massage my shoulders, back and legs, singing lullabies and ballads to me as he did so. Mercifully, I finally slept.

When I became aware again, Erik was asleep next to me on the bed, his back turned to me. He was again wearing his black robe but with his nightshirt on underneath this time. Poor Erik...he must have been worn out with nursing me back to health. I leaned my face against his back, pressing my cheek against the warm silk of his robe, and curled up behind him, my body molding to his. Again, I felt like a spoiled cat. I smiled and dozed off again.


When Erik stirred, I awoke at once.

There was such consternation in his eyes as he looked at me. "How are you feeling, Angelica?"

"Like I've been through all of the torments of hell. I can't imagine what made me so ill! I only had one glass of wine!"

Silence.

"Erik, thank you so much for taking care of me. I don't think I could have asked for a better nursemaid," I teased with a smile, stroking his unmasked cheek. And then unable to resist, I sidled against him, sliding my leg against his thigh and whispering into his ear, "However can I repay you for your tender kindness?"

Erik stiffened suddenly and arose from the bed, pulling his robe tightly shut. Perhaps he was just being conscious of my health, but I was bitterly disappointed.

"Just how much do you remember about that night…before you became ill?" he asked.

"Oh, let's see...oh, yes...I seem to recall a masked man doing the most shocking things to me," I flirted.

"I shall get you a tray," he stated abruptly, ignoring my playfulness. "You need to eat something."

When he left, I felt rather nonplussed. After the intimacies that we had shared, I thought that we could at least be a bit more casual with each other.

Well, I reasoned, he had not exactly been with me in the most romantic of circumstances lately. In fact, I probably looked and smelled ghastly. Perhaps if I cleaned up a bit. As I sponged myself off, I searched for that gardenia-scented perfume but could not find it anywhere. That was odd. Hadn't I left it on the armoire? Oh, well, no matter.

After washing, brushing my hair and changing into a fresh gown, I felt much more like a human being.

After some time, Erik returned with a tray of toast and tea. I began to eat at once as I was famished.

"My child, I must go to Paris to attend to some errands," he said. "I have left another plate of food for you in the dining room when you feel up to it."

"Thank you, Erik," I smiled with all of the charm that I could muster. "You have been so good to me. Why, you practically saved my life!"

He bowed and left the room.

Well, this was a fine state of affairs!


Having the rest of the day to myself, I read some Shakespeare in the library. By this time, I had graduated from Romeo and Juliet to Twelfth Night. I very much felt for Viola who was so smitten with Orsino but had to hide her feelings because of her disguise as a man. Wryly, I observed that I had certainly been in her shoes with having to hide my feelings for Erik. Surely, after our interlude, that would all change now. But I still worried over his cold and formal behavior towards me this morning. As if nothing had ever happened at all…

My stomach growled angrily at me; so I went to the dining room. There was a tray with assorted fruits, meats and cheese. I picked away at it at first and then began to gobble away at the food as ravenously as any Tennessee farmer.

And then I noticed a folded up letter beside the tray.

'For Angelica' was scrawled across the parchment. Of course, it was from Erik.

My heart raced as I broke the seal.


My dear Angelica,

I do so hope that you have recuperated from your ordeal.

I fear that I have some distressing news to impart. Forgive me for the cavalier fashion of this letter, but I had thought to spare us the humiliation of having this conversation in person.

In the throes of your illness, you had voiced to me your fears of poison. It is with much regret that I must tell you that you had indeed been poisoned. You see, my dear, during our tender moments of the night before, I recognized the scent that you were wearing. I knew it well for it had been my own invention.

During the time of my life when I had relations with the Viscountess de Chagny, I would constantly contrive ways to win her affections. As I recall from our previous argument, you are well aware of this as you had so accurately noted my proclivity for 'smoke and mirrors'. My invention was part of this same theme: a perfume consisting of satyrion, a species of orchid touted by the Greeks to inspire passion. I suppose you could say that I had concocted an aphrodisiac of sorts. I had intended to use my love potion upon her after our impending marriage in the event that she could not recover from her fear of me. However, such an occurrence did not come to pass; thus, I had forgotten all about it. Unfortunately, you were not only the victim of my potion but were apparently suffering from an overdose as only a few drops would have been effective. I am certain that this is responsible for your grave illness. I apologize for my misfortunate error.

Also, I am afraid that I took shameful advantage of your condition and must apologize for this as well. But please consider that under the circumstances, I did my best to preserve your virtue. For this, my dear, I should be rewarded for sainthood, despite my past sins. However, I thought it best to relieve you with whatever method I could, considering that you seemed quite overwhelmed with the effects of the drug and would have suffered horribly otherwise.

Please let us speak no more of this matter and remain partners as always.

Your obedient friend,

Erik


Christine, always Christine! I cursed as I ripped the letter into pieces, mortified. Would we never escape her influence?