Disclaimer: Everything you recognise belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing, and am making no profit

Setting: This story starts a couple of weeks after the end of GoF, but after that goes a little AU.

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Chapter 16: Thoughts of the Wolf

Remus walked slowly to the castle, Harry half a pace behind.

After James left the commonroom, Remus had trekked out to Hagrid's with the intension of speaking privately to Harry about James's fate, but when Hagrid had enthusiastically invited him in for tea and homemade biscuits, he'd found it difficult to refuse, and so the matter had gone on hold; the last thing Remus wanted was to bring Hagrid - who was likely to make a crying fuss over the issue, no doubt in the presence of James himself, whom he adored - into this mess. Instead he'd spent the afternoon adding what he could to conversation centred around magical beasts and where to find them, growing steadily sleepier by the fireplace.

Remus had always liked Hagrid; ever since first year when James and Sirius had discovered he was half giant by overhearing a private discussion in the staff bathroom. They'd relayed the information to Remus and Peter in low tones that would have been appropriate if they'd been announcing Hagrid's funeral, then argued hotly about who should approach him (it simply didn't occur to them to let the matter drop at that time). To the surprise of the others - who'd yet to figure out what Remus's absences and symptoms meant - Remus had volunteered. Even at eleven he'd felt himself far more capable of handling the situation delicately than the others.

In the end, the conversation was surprisingly relaxed. Hagrid had known Remus's secret, being one of the Hogwarts staff, and had felt more comfortable discussing his lineage with the werewolf than he'd have been in the presence of James, Sirius or Peter. Remus made no judgments and Hagrid had said that day that he felt a connection with Remus, both being misunderstood by most wizards and lucky to know Albus Dumbledore - "Great man, Dumbledore. Great man." Many pleasant afternoons had since been wasted in the small cabin with the oversized furniture.

After being invited in for tea, Remus had been glad to see Hagrid had taken a liking to Harry. He had no clue what James had said to explain Harry's presence, or what had passed between the half giant and the time traveller before he'd arrived, but it was clear Harry, like his father, had won Hagrid over with a wink and a smile. Harry had actually looked cheerful as he drank from Hagrid's bucket-sized cup. As James had earlier implied, Harry enjoyed Hagrid's company very much and knew him well - Remus had caught him cracking a knowing smile when Hagrid mentioned his love of dragons.

Harry's attitude toward Remus had also been revealed. This had been something Remus felt nervous about - Harry had only been with them for a day, and Remus had had little time to assess his true temperament and nature - so when Harry revealed a respect for Remus that bordered on that for a mentor, Remus had been pleasantly surprised.

When James had first revealed that Harry was aware of Remus's condition, Remus had taken it in stride, assuming that an older James had explained the situation to his son, and that Harry would most likely share the older Potter's views on werewolves. But after finding out that James had not been in the picture to pass on his open minded attitude to Harry, Remus had been unsure.

After a pleasant couple of hours exchanging mock horrified looks with Harry regarding Hagrid's lack of cooking skills, Remus had been certain that Harry did not hold his lycanthrope against him.

Eventually Hagrid realized they were out past curfew and sent them back to the castle.

Outside the illusion of peace provided by Hagrid's cabin, Remus was now snapping back to reality. They were alone. It was time.

Harry made his job easier for him by asking the first question himself. "Did you find Sirius?"

"I did," said Remus.

"And?"

"He told me about your conversation in the shack. He knows James will die," said Remus, deciding on a strategy of frank communication. Silence followed these words and Remus had to fight to resist the impulse to turn and look at Harry. Had he been too blunt? Their boots crunched on the ground. "Harry?"

"Will he tell my Dad?"

It took a Remus a second to realise that 'my Dad' was a reference to James. "I asked him not to," he said. "I don't think he will. He's not worried about the timelines anymore though and if he finds a way to prevent it, he will."

Remus had carefully kept his voice calm, not wanting to alienate Harry by making him angry or upset, but apparently this was a mistake because Harry was now staring at him with an expression of disbelief: "How can you behave as though everything were normal?"

Remus felt panic, but didn't show it. He'd come off as callous. It was dangerous for a werewolf to appear callous. People could get the wrong idea and think you lacked humanity. "How well do you know me Harry?" he asked tonelessly. There was another prolonged silence and Remus interrupted it. "You know what I am, yet you still respect me. That would imply that you know me fairly well. Either that or you were raised by unusually tolerant people, in which case I thank whoever it was who raised you for forgetting the part about werewolves being terrible monsters -"

Harry snorted and Remus turned to regard him, confused and even more distressed by this response. "Oh, I don't think you're a monster!" said Harry hurriedly, his face turning red.

"Good," said Remus, not completely reassured. He turned away and resumed walking, feeling Harry's eyes burning into the back of his head.

"But how can you act so normal?" Harry repeated eventually.

Remus sighed, maybe Harry understood less than Remus had assumed he did. "You mean how does someone who's only part human pretend to be normal?" he asked, a little more harshly than he intended.

Harry appeared taken aback and stared with his mouth hanging open. "No! I didn't mean that at all! I meant how can you act so normal when you just found out that someone who is supposed to be one of your best friends is going to die?! You don't even look upset. You just said you knew without even … Don't you care?"

The open anguish on Harry's face made Remus scold himself for being so self-absorbed. He also felt his forced façade of calm falling away; his fears for James rising in response to Harry's grief.

Harry, seeing Remus's reaction to his words, was contrite. "I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry Professor I didn't mean to make it sound like you don't care. I know you must, it's just - "

"Did you just call me 'Professor'?" Remus interrupted, still shaken.

"No," said Harry.

"You did! You just called me 'Professor'." Remus's head was reeling as something else that had been bothering him fell into place, "and Fred keeps calling me 'Lupin'. He doesn't use my first name, or if he does it sounds awkward. I'm your Professor. What do I teach?"

"Defence," said Harry quietly.

Under any other circumstances, Remus would have been stoked. He'd always known he'd never be an Auror, his ideal employment, but teaching Defence to Hogwarts students would be a fantastic career - assuming, of course, that he could hold the job down longer than the average employee. Now, though, in the shadow of James's future, his own good fortune felt hollow.

"Am I a good teacher?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Harry, smiling sadly. "The best."

Remus tried to think of something comforting to say. Nothing felt appropriate though, so instead he decided to get back down to business. "Harry, look, Sirius won't say anything to James and neither will I, but we do want to know more about what happened. If it can be prevented - " he faltered at the look on Harry's face. "You don't think it can be changed?"

Harry tilted his head toward Gryffindor tower. "I don't know that it should be," he finally admitted. "I'd like it to be, don't get me wrong, but - but what if -" he broke off, obviously unwilling to finish the thought.

Remus turned this over in his mind. Harry had not said that it couldn't be done. The question for him was whether or not it should be done. This seemed to rule out terminal illness as the cause of death. There was hope in that, Remus decided. But what were Harry's reservations?

"What if James, by continuing to live, inadvertently changes something, creates an event worse than his own death?" Remus ventured, thinking again that perhaps James had done something typically heroic and overdramatic to save someone from a terrible fate. Perhaps Lily. Perhaps Harry.

Harry nodded, relieved. "I'm glad you understand," he said. "I don't think Sirius will."

Remus felt like crying. Getting information out of Harry was going to be twice as hard as he'd originally thought, because Harry felt obligated to leave history the way it stood. As much as he might want James back, Harry would not save him.

"Sirius is upset and confused right now," he said, almost choking on words that described himself as well as his friend.

They reached the front doors and Remus turned to Harry. "Don't waste this time," he said. "Spend as much of it as you can with James. You'll both be better for it."

Harry nodded, accepting this at face value, and led the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Remus watched him a moment, hoping his last comment would have an impact. The more time Harry spent with James, the more he should realise how wonderful it would have been to grow up with him. Remus hoped it would make Harry more open to the idea of changing the timelines.

He wondered how Sirius's conversation with Fred was going.