Scarecrow and Mrs. King are owned by Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon. All SMK characters remain their property. The story premise and characters created for this story are the property of the author. The author has not profited from this story.
Rating: M for mature themes
Reviews: Please
Archive: I'd be honored, please ask.
This story is part of my Beaman and Francine series. While it can be read for it's own merits, to truly understand the characters and their interactions with one another, the Courtship trilogy would have to have been read. If you haven't read them, I would hope you would take the time and give them a read, they're my vision of life for Francine and Beaman taking place several years after the series ended.
Thanks to Kelley and Di for the beta. They're the best.
And Baby Makes Three
Efraim Beaman helped his very pregnant wife climb down from their Explorer, his hands full as he steadied her. He grinned, he couldn't help himself, she looked beautiful to him carrying their first child.
"Stop grinning, B, and tell me my feet are on the ground." Francine told him on a laugh, only half joking.
"Yep, both feet are on the ground. And I'll try to stop grinning, hon. Honestly."
"Right. You haven't stopped since I told you I was pregnant." Taking his arm, they walked to the elevator that would take them to the lower levels of the Agency's counter intelligence section.
Efraim gave his radiant wife a quick kiss on the cheek, and patted her hand as he pressed the button for their level. "Francine, you can't blame me for smiling about us having a baby. I'm happy beyond what I ever thought I could be, and you're the most beautiful woman in the world. What's not to smile about?"
"I know you're happy, B. And I'm very happy too. I just wish I could see my feet."
"I know you do honey. But in the mean time, I'm happy to put your shoes on for you."
The elevator stopped and they stepped out, walking to their offices through the bullpen. "How late are we today?" Francine looked at her watch and sighed. Having finally gotten over morning sickness, she found herself unable to wake up in the morning, thus she and Efraim were late to work everyday. Billy at first had grumbled loudly, but after Efraim had cornered him and told him he was upsetting Francine, Billy had backed off, allowing his agents the time they needed. It still bothered Francine that she was late, but Efraim had convinced her as long as they produced and got their assignments done, it didn't matter.
"Only an hour hon. We're getting better. Want some tea?"
"I want coffee. High test, full lead, completely caffeinated coffee. With cream and sugar."
"No caffeine."
"Dictator."
"Hon, the doctor said . . ."
Francine waved her hand and snorted. "I know what the doctor said, B. And I say, let him carry this baby for a day and try to work without caffeine!"
"Decafe with half and half?" Efraim offered, determined not to give in.
Sighing, she gave in and nodded. "Can you pour just a little real coffee into it? Just a drop or two? Please?"
Efraim laughed as he put her files on her desk and purse in her desk drawer. "Okay, a drop or two. Happy? You have me breaking the rules now!"
"Oh, like the rules matter to you! Coffee. Please?"
"I'm going now, hon." Efraim went into his office through their shared door and dropped his own briefcase on his desk and headed to the cafeteria to get coffee before Francine could ask again. They had given up their usual coffee shop stop in the mornings since they were coming in late, and he had discovered that his wife did not deal well with the day until she had her morning coffee. He waved to Billy on his way out of the bullpen, slowing as Billy tried to catch up with him.
"How's it going today, Beaman?"
"Morning Billy. Not too bad; I'm off to get some coffee."
"She still giving you grief over decafe?" Billy fell instep with Efraim and walked along to the cafeteria with him, his own coffee cup in hand.
Efraim gave a short laugh. "Yeah, coffee, chocolate, ice cream, donuts. The girl has an appetite!"
"How much longer?"
Efraim opened the door to the cafeteria and let his boss walk through. Grabbing two cups for coffee, he fixed them the way he and Francine liked them. "The doctor says another month, but I don't know. He's happy with everything and says the baby is doing fine. That's one active baby, I'll tell you that much!"
Billy laughed. "What do you expect with you as it's father, Efraim?" He laughed even harder at the silly grin that broke out over Efraim's face. "You are delighted at becoming a father. And I have to admit, Francine is handling her pregnancy really well. Other than being unable to wake up in the morning, that is. You're taking good care of her, right?" He may be their boss, but his connection with Francine went way back, and Efraim knew that Billy looked on her like one of his own daughters.
Efraim nodded. "Yeah. I'm taking good care of her, Billy."
"Well, you had better get that coffee back to her, or who knows what she might do to you." Billy was referring to the afternoon when Efraim had been late coming back with lunch for her and she had locked him in the janitors closet, jamming the lock so he couldn't pick it.
"Please, don't remind her. Having Dr. Smyth find me in that closet was humiliating." Billy opened the door to the bullpen, letting Efraim walk through.
"You know she called him, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. Ever since we came back from Turkey, the two of them have been as thick as thieves. I don't get it myself, but she likes him and he seems to have a genuine fondness for her. She says he's interesting" Efraim shivered at the thought of Dr. Smyth. Even though he had come to an understanding with him, and formed a grudging respect for the head of the Agency, he still wasn't sure he completely trusted the elder spy.
"Don't worry about it. I think it has more to do with her pregnancy. He missed the pregnancies of his own daughters and may be filling in some memories with Francine. Besides, she amuses him with her directness."
"She certainly is direct!" Efraim shook his head, not understanding the relationship, but since it seemed to make his wife happy, that's all that mattered to him. And he had to admit, he had a sneaking admiration for the old man, he was sharp and certainly kept Efraim on his toes. "Well. Back into the lion's den. Thanks Billy, for being so understanding about this."
Laughing, Billy gave Efraim a pat on the back. "How could I be anything but to the man who married Francine Desmond?" Billy went into his office, still chuckling.
Shaking his head, Efraim put Francine's coffee on her desk. She was on the telephone, talking to someone about a security screening. She flipped the lid on her coffee and took a sip, her resulting grimace was priceless. She stood up, all the while discussing security precautions, gave her husband a swift kiss on his cheek and swiped the coffee out of his hand. Grinning widely, she continued her conversation as she took a sip of Efraim's coffee and gave a silent sigh. Winking at her husband, she silently shooed him from her office, blowing him a kiss.
Efraim didn't have the heart to tell her that he had been drinking decafe as well. He played along, giving her a disgruntled look as he took her coffee cup and headed into his office.
Sitting at his desk, he turned on his computer and started sifting through the reports that had made it to his inbox overnight. Everything seemed quiet. He pulled up the final report on Quigley and finished reading it.
It had taken Efraim an entire month to decode the location of Quigley's Black Horse laser research. Francine had taken guard duty, keeping away the Department of Defense, congressional aides and the like. Only Billy and Dr. Smyth were able to make it past her, and only if they had bribed her with chocolate. Quigley's trial had been quick, it was deemed that Quigley was unfit to stand trial and remanded to a psychiatric center for care. Porter, his nephew, and former Agency employee, was another story altogether.
"Beaman, you got a minute?"
Efraim looked up to see Lee Stetson standing in his doorway.
"Sure, but with you, Scarecrow it turns into days and weeks. What's up?"
Lee took a seat by Efraim's desk and handed him a legal pad with a series of numbers on it. "Can you do your magic and tell me what these are?"
Efraim looked at the series of numbers Lee handed him. "They're serial numbers."
"How do you know that?"
Efraim raised an eyebrow at Stetson and took the pad from him and punched the numbers into his computer. Hitting the enter key, he sat back and stared at Lee.
"Why do I feel like you're humoring me?" Lee asked as he watched the computer screen fill with data.
"Because I am. They'll be serial numbers to a lot of Uzi's."
"How do you know that? Come on, Beaman. Stop pulling my leg. How do you know that?"
"I'm familiar with serial numbers, Lee. I had plenty of time in the past to trace this kind of stuff. I'm telling you they're serial numbers." The computer flashed and Efraim looked at the information on his screen. "Well, in this case, it's a lot of stolen mini-Uzi's."
"Really?"
"No, not really. Jeez Lee, did you come down here to harass me? I have plenty to do without playing games with you."
"Let's go visit Leatherneck. Print that out first." Lee waited by the door as Efraim picked up the printout. "Come on."
Efraim stuck his head inside Francine's office as he passed by. "Hon, I'm going upstairs with Lee. Want anything when I come back?"
"I'm good sweetie, thanks." She gave him a wave and smile and went back to her printouts.
Efraim followed Lee to the elevator, watching as Lee punched the button for Leatherneck's level. The doors opened and both men walked through the security sections, Lee pushing open the door to Leatherneck's office.
"Hey there Scarecrow, Boy Scout! How's it going today?" Leatherneck asked as he watched the two men come into his office.
"Don't talk to him," Lee pointed in Efraim's direction. "Until you give him a cup of real coffee. The man has been without caffeine and it's definitely taking a toll on his good humor."
"Ah, that's right, Francine is off caffeine during her pregnancy. Here ya go Beaman, drink up."
Efraim nodded his thanks as he took the cup of coffee from Leatherneck, sitting down in one of the chairs in the outer office. Smelling the coffee, he took a hesitant sip and moaned. "Damn! That's good!" He took another drink and leaned back, sipping the steaming brew.
"Okay, now that you has some caffeine, tell me how you knew those numbers would be Uzi serial numbers?"
Leatherneck laughed, shaking his head at Lee. Efraim handed the empty coffee cup back to Leatherneck, who quickly refilled it and gave it back to him.
"Because I know the sequencing, Lee. After Stemwinder, Smyth had me logging inventory for months, I know what a serial number for an Uzi looks like." Efraim shrugged. "What's with the numbers anyway?"
"I've been tracking missing munitions from several US bases, and these came up on a wire I've been monitoring. Thing is, the ammo doesn't fit these Uzi's."
"Where's your trace coming from?"
"Eastern Europe."
"Weapons dealers?"
"Yeah."
"Probably modifying the Uzi. It's easy enough to do. Leatherneck? You have those Uzi's you were playing with a while back?" Efraim stood up and stretched, feeling better for the caffeine coursing through him.
"Yep, come on back to the labs, gentlemen." Efraim and Lee followed Leatherneck back into the lab and testing area of the Agency.
"How do you know about all this stuff, Beaman? I mean, that Leatherneck's playing with modified Uzi's?"
"I'm nosey. What type of missing munitions?"
"A little bit of everything. Some of those new uranium core rounds have gone missing."
"That's nice. I feel warm and cozy knowing those are out on the street."
Leatherneck picked up an Uzi that was still in it's original form and handed it to Efraim.
"See? This is straight from the factory. If you look at the frame, here and here," Efraim pointed out. "You can see how easy it would be to modify it for a different type of ammunition. It's pretty easy to change the entire muzzle if you want."
"Look-e here, Scarecrow. This is what the Boy Scout is talking' about. See? We've modified the entire muzzle and round carrier. You could take a tank out with this. Wanna see?" At their nod, he headed to the test range. "Follow me."
The two agents followed Leatherneck to the Agency indoor shooting range. Setting up the concrete target, the three men collected eye and ear protection. Leatherneck steadied the modified Uzi on the bar and fired one round. When the dust finally settled, the concrete wall had been destroyed.
Grinning at Lee, Leatherneck pulled his earplugs. "You should see what it does to metal, but we're all out of it at the moment. The tech's were having some fun blowing off steam. Trust me, something like this on the streets would be hell."
"Damn! Could anyone modify one of these?" Lee asked, surprise still registering on his face
"Sure, as long as they knew what they were doing. Otherwise, you could get a beastly shock when it blows up in your face." Leatherneck used his hands to make the universal motion for an explosion, including some sound effects.
"Eastern Europe is a hotbed of weapons smuggling and modification." Efraim chimed in. "If it's new on the streets and deadly, it's coming in from Eastern Europe. Or at least that's who's doing the modifications."
Lee nodded, still eyeing the remains of the concrete wall. "Yeah, I'd heard that. Got any names to go with that?"
Efraim and Leatherneck both laughed. "You're kidding, right Lee?" Leatherneck slapped Lee on the back. "You ain't gonna get no names!"
"At least not here. You have to start at the beginning and track it down." Efraim told Lee, grinning at him.
"Well, that sounds like the perfect project for you, Beaman. Your magic fingers and computer should be able to track me down something." Lee grinned back at Efraim.
"Magic fingers are one thing, magician and miracle worker are something else all together."
"Oh, I don't know, according to your very pregnant wife, you certainly are."
"She's prejudiced."
"You trying to get out of doing some research for me, Beaman?" Lee's eyebrows arched, showing his surprise that Beaman turned him down; he usually jumped at the chance to track something like this down.
"You're nothing but trouble, Scarecrow. If I get involved in this, I'll end up shot and in the hospital while my wife is giving birth. I'm not taking the bait."
"Oh come on Boy Scout! I just need your computer skills."
"No. I know you. It never stops at just my computer skills. Two months ago it was my computer skills and I was out of the country for three weeks tracking that information leak for you. Which, by the way, I was nearly shot again. Again. Do I have a target on my forehead? Do I?"
"Stop trying to change the subject, Beaman. You mean you're not going to leave your wife." Lee was now irritated at not getting what he wanted.
"That's right. I'm not leaving my wife at this time. We're about to have our first child, and I have no intention of getting caught up in one of the Scarecrow's infamous wild goose chases. So, no. Not now. I'm too busy."
"Loose your nerve, Boy Scout?" Lee tried another tack, thinking that pricking Efraim's ego would get him what he wanted.
Efraim laughed in his face. "You're barking up the wrong tree, Stetson. I've been insulted by the best of them, and certainly better than that."
"Look, this is just off the wire; it's a hot lead. Could you just give it a look, see what groups are active in the area, I won't ask another thing from you."
"Yeah, until the next time. Just see what groups are active in the area? That's all?"
"Well, you could see if there's any communications between them and any dealers, I mean, while you're at it." Lee grinned, seeing victory.
"You see what I mean Leatherneck? It's never simple with Stetson. He always wants something else from you." Efraim handed the printout back to Lee, dusting his hands off as he did so.
"Yeah, I know Boy Scout. Stetson always pushes. It's why he's so damn good at what he does."
"Damn good at getting other people in trouble is what he's good at." Beaman snorted.
"He's got a point, Scarecrow. You are good at getting into trouble. How your wife puts up with it anymore..." Leatherneck added only to be interrupted by Efraim.
"Why do you think he finds someone else to do this stuff for him? Amanda would kill him if he did half of the stuff he gets other people into!"
Lee clicked on the Uzi's safety before tossing it back to Leatherneck. Giving Efraim a dirty look, he left the shooting gallery.
Leatherneck watched as Efraim sighed and leaned on the bar, staring at the remains of the concrete blocks. "What's up Beaman? Things okay at home?"
"Yeah, I'm just getting messed up in anything now that the baby is due. It happened in LA, and again in Romania. And one week back from our honeymoon we were nearly hit and flying off to Turkey. Can't blame a guy for getting nervous and wanting to keep a low profile."
"I'm always surprised by you, Beaman. For a man as smart as you are, you're still superstitious. Although, most of you spy types are."
"No, not superstitious, just cautious. I will not miss the birth of our first child. Or our second. Or any after that."
Leatherneck slapped Efraim on the back, laughing and shaking his head. "You must be buckin' for sainthood, fella, if you're willing to go through this again!" Leatherneck laughed harder at the grin on Efraim's face. "She's a lucky woman, she's got herself a devoted man."
"Nah, I'm the lucky one. I've got her." Efraim waved and headed back to his own office. He heard Leatherneck chuckling behind him and he smiled. As far as Efraim was concerned, he was the lucky one, he was married to the woman he had always dreamed of and they were about to have their first child. There was no way he was going to get caught up in one of the Scarecrow's bizarre cases.
Not this time.
