Chapter Thirty One

"Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot and Prongs - I get it." said Lily, who was sitting on the edge of a bed in the hospital wing. The large clock outside the room chimed midnight and as a cold breeze blew in the open window, the light of the full moon shining on the floor, Lily shivered. "Who came up with the names?"

"Well, we all came up with our own names." James said, wrapping a blanket over her shoulders and sitting down beside her with a smile. "But it was I who thought of our brilliant group name."

"Ah, yes. The Marauders." Lily said mockingly. "Heartbreakers reeking havoc all over Hogwarts, one of whom happens to be the Head Boy."

"Hey, just because I know how to have fun and you don't, doesn't mean I smell." James said, causing Lily to double over in laughter.

"James, you great git - 'reeking havoc' and 'reeking' are two very different things." said Sirius who was walking out of the bathroom, zipping up his trousers and throwing his large cloth on a bed nearby, now both Lily and James laughing, making Sirius smirk.

"Are you laughing at my loin cloth?"

"Loin cloth?" James laughed. "Call it what you want, Padfoot - you were wearing a curtain for a skirt!"

"Look, Remus was going to kill us; Peter and I barely made it out alive, let alone give me time to grab my clothes. I had to rip a curtain from a broken window on the other side of the shack with raging werewolf and a crazy tree both out to kill me. You two are lucky I didn't show up buck naked!" Sirius chuckled as he walked up to them. "Besides, I saved your life. You should be thanking me." This brought silence to the room.

"You did save my life and I'll forever be in your debt. All of you, even ol' Prongsie here." Lily said, jabbing him in the side with her elbow. "But I think Peter was the real hero tonight." She looked solemnly at the bed beside them; there lay Peter. Sleeping soundly under a blanket, covered in bloody gashed, breathing small shallow breaths. They did their best to clean him up, but without wands and without Madame Pomfrey, they did the best they could do - now, they waited.

"Yes, Peter showed a courage that we rarely see." Sirius said quietly.

"He proved himself a true Gryffindor." Lily muttered, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I knew we kept him around for a good reason." James said, earning a laugh from Sirius and a smack on the chest from Lily.

"Well, considering none of us want detention for wandering the corridors at night, I say we just pick a bed and wait till tomorrow to tell Dumbledore." Sirius said with a yawn and stretching out on a bed next to Peters.

"I second that." James said rising from the bed that Lily had previously called and moved to the be beside hers. "And you really can't tell anyone about us, Lily. Not about Remus or about our secret. You are the only person to know, besides Dumbledore. So you can't run and tell your little buddies, Nancy-Alice and Jenny."

"Well, I haven't spoken to either of them in quite a while..." Lily said remorsefully, making a mental note to do so and mend thier friendships soon. "But I'll keep your little secret from my friends if you start speaking kinder about yours." Lily retorted. "Peter showed a bravery tonight that deserves commending, not ridiculing."

"Lily, you really do need to lighten up." James said nonchalantly. "Peter knows that we really do value him as a good friend. As I said before, you just don't know how to have fun."

That offended Lily. "Yes, I do."

James looked at her and quirked an eyebrow. "Prove it."

Mustering all her courage and brushing all of her feelings for James aside, she stood and walked over to his bed, laying down beside him, her back flush with his bare chest.

"Okay, I take it back." James chuckled, slowly wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Hey!" Lily said, smacking his arm softly. "Don't even think about making any moves on me, Mr. Potter. I'm just proving my point."

"Well proven." he said with a smile. "Calm down, Lily. It's not like you haven't done this before. Besides, I'm just trying to get comfortable."

Lily felt her heart start to melt as she also became all too comfortable in his arms. All the fighting she had been doing was slipping away as he pulled her closer. He let out a sigh on her ear, and it sent chills down her spine, shoving all her resolve into oblivion.

"You cold?" he asked.

"Not anymore." she said as she snuggled closer to him with a smile.

I can give in for one night, right?

"Mmm hmm." James murmured.

"You two keep it down over there. It's late and I'm tired." Sirius said in a teasing chuckle.

"Speaking of late, what were you doing out there anyway?" James asked.

"What are you talking about? Snape gave me your letter."

"What letter?"

"The little note that said 'We need to talk, meet me at the tree tonight' or something like that. He said you threatened to flush his head if he didn't give me the note."

"Aw, that bloody git." James said. "Hear that, Pad? Snivellus got a hold of that note I gave you today and gave it to Lily."

"Stupid prick." Sirius muttered sleepily.

"Well, don't worry. He'll pay." James laughed, though he wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. He was too preoccupied with Lily, breathing her scent and holding her body... he was thoroughly enjoying it and all his senses were tossed to the wind at the moment.

"You're note to Sirius? But it had my name circled on it. What on earth would you need to talk to Sirius about me for?" Lily asked.

Again James raised an eyebrow at her, as if questioning her intelligence, causing her to blush as she realized what he meant.

"Oh... well, I thought it was about... us, I mean, I thought that's why you wanted me out there... I mean, I thought you wanted to talk to me.... about... us...."

"Let's just save that for another night." James murmured.

"James, we really do need to talk abo-"

"Yes, but not tonight. If you're going to break my heart yet again, then at least let me enjoy this one night in utter bliss."

She cringed at his words, in both delight and pain. "But James, I -"

"No. I refuse to let you spoil my fun. Now, it is time for you to shut that pretty little mouth of yours and let me sleep."

"James!"

"Lily flower," he said warningly.

Lily sighed. She knew she could not argue with that, for it always made her smile. "Fine." she said with a sigh.

"Don't worry, I promise we'll talk later. Let's just sleep for now." Then he kissed her sweetly on the side of the head.

Lily smiled as she closed her eyes and relished the closeness to James. It wasn't sexual in any way. It just felt good here, it felt right - she felt whole. She knew that she was safe, here in his arms. Though she had cautioned him earlier, she knew that he would never make any wrong move on her or let his hands stray anywhere inappropriate. She knew him. She trusted him. She loved him.

Lily turned over and quickly kissed him on the cheek before rolling over and scooting closer to him before she closed her eyes again. With all her exhilaration and thrill this evening, the exhaustion had quickly caught up to her and she quickly sank into sleep, though one thought kept bouncing around her mind: What was she fighting this for? Regardless of the choice she someday had to make, the least she could do was spend one more night in the arms of the man she loved before she had to give him up forever.

---

The sun was just peaking over the horizon, gleaming through the window of the hospital wing and shining on Lily's sleeping face. She had slept through the night, rather peacefully, in fact. But at the moment she was awake, just enjoying herself in the arms of the man she loved. Just laying there in his arms, everything felt so perfect. She just wanted to stop time, the sun from rising and everyone from waking up, so that she could just stay in this blissful state.

But she knew it simply could not be. Just laying there in his arms, feeling his breath on her face and his heart, beating steadily against her back, it only made her realize more that he was real, safe - alive. He was breathing, his heart was beating, and should she act on her feelings, she could change that forever. If she confessed her love to James, she simply could not live with herself knowing that his - their - deaths would be right around the corner. She wanted him to live a long happy life and if that meant without her, then so be it.

She turned in his arms to look at him and it caused her heart to swell. She moved a lock of his almost-black hair from his face and studied his features carefully, as to not wake him. He was peacefully still and sleeping soundly, but it was the most captivating and heart wrenching scene for Lily. She brushed her fingers gently over three parallel scars on his cheek and it touched her soul. Maybe he wasn't such a conceited twit after all. Regardless of what he was, Lily loved him, all of him. But if he was willing to change his entire life to help his friend cope, that showed how giving and considerate he really was, and that meant a lot to Lily.

As she lay there, looking over his face and letting her heart thrill at being so close to him, his eyes flickered open. Her heart melted as she looked into the warming hazel depths. "Good morning, Lily flower." he said with a sleepy smile.

"Good morning," she managed to squeak out as he pulled her body closer, one of her hands now flat against his bare chest. She felt his heart rate increase, and she was sure hers did too, as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"Sleep well?" he asked arrogantly.

"Of course." she said with a blush, letting her hand slide over his chest and around his neck. Maybe... she thought. Maybe if I could get him to kiss me, it would help me decide what to do about him.

James seemed to be reading her mind, because he suddenly smiled before leaning in to kiss her. He had meant for it to be quick, but when he pulled away, Lily was more than a little dissapointed. He looked down at her curiously, and saw a pleading confusion in her eyes, so when she pulled him down to kiss her once again, he did not hesitate in the least.

She wanted to know - she needed to know what was best for him. As she wrapped her arms more securely around his neck, she could feel him fervently respond and he pulled her closer with his arms around her waist. As she deepened the kiss and let her fingers explore his hair, she tried to find something - something in him that would let her know that he would be okay without her. But the more she kissed him, the more she knew that would never be true. She wasn't trying to lead him on, she was just trying to make an important decision about him; his life, his happiness. And she would gladly give her life, her happiness for his - but would he be happy without her? In her mind, nothing would play in her favor - she just couldn't win no matter what she chose. It always came back to her. Did she want to live a short life with love, or a long life without it?

A tear slid down her cheek and she finally pulled away from James, only more confused than before. James looked at her in concern as she began to cry bitterly and all he could do was pull her into a hug.

"What's wrong, Lily?" he whispered, gently rubbing her back, trying to soothe her.

"I... I'm sorry, James." Then breaking away from him, she ran out of the hospital wing, tears streaming down her face.

---

A/N: Aw, such sadness.

Hey guys, guess what???

We're sooo close to the "Grand Finale - it's about 10 chapters away!

-gasp-

And that means that I will start posting fewer chapters at once... you know, to add to the suspense! Evil me, I know...

MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

-hides from angry readers-

-grins wickedly-

Oh yeah - review please! -huggles all-