Three cheers for Ms Rowling!!!
Dumbledore gazed sadly at James. "That decision does not yet have to be made," he said "I believe it might be wise to consider all options before rushing off to your doom James."
James nodded politely, though Sirius recognized his look. James had made his decision.
Sirius shook his head in frustration. "Right then," he said. "The options. Let's look at the histories of both timelines. We can use them to plot out a new one. Or at least make educated guesses on how they might work out. Choose the best course of action. Grab a time turner, put this timeline on pause, and fix what we can for the new one. Simple."
"Yeah that's great," said Fred sarcastically, "because the way this timeline turned out was completely predictable. It'll take us no time at all to "plot out a new one"."
"Fred's right," said James. "We just need to undo what was done. Make the new timeline as similar to the first as we can. Stop Fred and Harry from staying in our dormitory for example. Or perhaps take some of that potion back in time with us make sure they drink it before they made any changes. Otherwise it's too unpredictable. We might change things we never intended to."
Sirius, whose knee had started twitching with nervous energy as James spoke now stood abruptly from his chair. "No," he said, "There's another way. There has to be. I refuse to believe that sending you to your death and me to…to Azkaban is the best way to do this. Bringing Remus back only to abandon him to isolation, because you know he would have been isolated without us Prongs, and Harry to be a tortured orphan. How is that better than what we have now?!"
Confusion crossed James's face, "Maybe…maybe we can save you from Azkaban. I could go back and warn you somehow. Subtly. I'll say nothing about Peter, just give you some sort of advice that will stop you from being framed. How was he framed Fred?"
"James you twit that's not the point!" Sirius exclaimed, cutting Fred off before he could speak. He stared at James as if he had never seen him before. "We can do some good here! It's not just about me or Lily! It's about all of them! We can change history! Make it better for everyone we can!"
"Sirius there's a reason they've made laws on time traveling . . ."James began. But Sirius snorted and walked from the room before his best friend could get any further, taking the spiral staircase four at a time as it moved beneath his feet. He heard Dumbledore's calming voice saying something or other as he fled, but moved too quickly to make out the words.
He walked at a rapid pace, letting anger at James fuel his steps until he found himself at the portrait of the Fat Lady. He opened his mouth to speak the password but suddenly realized he didn't know it and hadn't for seventeen years. What was he doing?!
Habit had brought him here he realized. His mind had gone back to his teenaged years and in his distress he had simply walked to the most comforting place he had known in the castle as a student.
He leaned his head against the wall.
This whole situation was a disaster.
Why did Fred have to remember his other life now? Or at all?
Why did James have to be such an honor bound pratt?
Why did Remus have to dead and gone when Sirius needed to hear that calm lecturing tone tell him what was right and wrong and how to behave, whether Sirius ever listened or not.
He suddenly hated the werewolf for being dead.
It was an uncomfortably familiar feeling.
And now James was planning to get himself written out of the timeline to bring Remus back. Would Sirius hate James for being dead when he was gone? He wouldn't have to feel guilty about it if he did he decided. James was doing this himself. By choice.
Sirius slammed his fist into the stone wall.
His knuckles bled.
…………………………………………………….
"I have something to tell you."
In one swift move Lily reached for her wand and had it at James's throat. When she realized who it was standing in her kitchen she lowered the wand, but not by much.
"What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously. James saw with some guilt that she had been crying.
He felt lost for a moment, then quickly motioned toward the living room before his nerve failed him. "You should sit down for this."
"For what?"
"For what I have to tell you."
Lily's eyes went heavenward. "I don't have time for any more games alright. Whatever it is you can just blurt it out here." James hesitated. "Go on then!"
James shuffled from foot to foot, stalling. His hand went up to his hair, a gesture he had not performed in years. When he realized what he was doing he lowered it with a quick guilty glance at Lily.
"I lied to you," he said. "I didn't want to but I did."
Lily's foot began to tap on the tiled floor. "Lied about what James?"
"Everything. I……Can we please sit? This feels wrong here."
Lily gave him an appraising eye for a long moment and it seemed to James that she was more confused by him at that moment than suspicious. Silently she led him to the lounge suite.
"We're sitting," she said.
James nodded. "I have to tell you something. It's not going to be easy for you to hear this and even harder for me to take your response but if I don't tell you this now I'll never have another chance and I need you to be okay with this. I need . . . . your approval I suppose. I won't do this unless you say it's alright."
He could hear his own words spilling out one over the other as he tried to move toward what he really needed to say. Damn it, he was making no sense. He wished Lily's presence was not making him so nervous.
He had not been honest with her, had not been himself with her, for so long that he no longer knew how to hold an honest conversation with her, let alone go through with this.
To make matters worse she was no longer showing any signs of being impatient with him. She was gazing at him patiently and sympathetically, just waiting for him to continue. What has caused the change? Was he coming across as that pathetic?
"It's like this," he managed, "I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to say the things I said. I never wanted to see anyone else…" he stopped. He'd said the wrong thing. Lily's sympathy was short lived.
She was growing angry.
"James…"
"Don't get mad yet, let me say this," he pleaded.
She nodded, not mollified in the least, but listening all the same.
"There was a reason I did what I did," he paused, gathering his courage, "Do you remember my cousin Harry? The time traveler? From years ago. At Hogwarts?"
"Oh of course!" she said, after a long moment of reflection, "The one we found at the Weasley's house and brought back to the castle that night. Oh it seems so long ago now. It must have been what? Fourteen years? What's he got do with anything? Oh Gosh! Fred's about the age he was then! Seventh year. That's when he came back in time. Oh won't it be interesting to talk to him about it after it happens. Have he and your cousin even met yet?"
"No," said James apprehensively , "and they won't. We changed things. I…changed things."
Lily was surprised.
"You changed things? I thought they were supposed to drink a potion so that nothing would be changed. Isn't that what you told me?"
"Yes. They were supposed to. But they didn't. They didn't get the chance to. I didn't give them that chance. Harry told me too much about the future. Enough to change things. Dramatically."
"What did he tell you?" Lily asked, worried now, and a little scared too judging from the way she was leaning away from him. "What did you do?"
James looked at his shoes. "He told me…." he whispered, "he told me I would die. Young."
Lily's hand went to her mouth. "Why would he tell you that?" she asked, then quickly added "When?" before he could answer.
"It would have happened thirteen years ago. Should have happened."
"Should? What are you talking about James? You were going to die of course it was best to change it!"
"Even it meant that Harry would never be born?" he asked softly.
Lily stared at him. "Oh God what did you do?" she asked. "Oh!" she gasped, "He wasn't your cousin! He was your………." James looked directly into her eyes, willing her to realize without him having to say the words. Waiting for her to put the pieces together. "Our….?"
He nodded ever so slightly.
She continued to stare at him. A look of horror growing in her eyes.
He had to look away.
"I didn't change it just to save myself," he said, realizing he had not been clear on this point, "He told me we would both die. You and me. He was an orphan. And Sirius was sent to Azkaban because he was framed for our murder. I couldn't. I mean I couldn't just leave things like that. It was too horrible."
A strange sound escaped Lily. Somewhere between a gasp and a sob. Her eyes were still wide.
James reached out a hand as though to comfort her but drew it away before it reached her, unsure as to whether or not she would want his touch.
She stayed silent, staring.
James decided he had to plough on.
"I didn't know how much I had changed things, how much had gone so wrong until I spoke to Fred in the hospital today. You were right. He's exactly the age he was when we first met him. It's why he fainted. This was when he was supposed to go back. Only he didn't. Harry wasn't here and that changed everything. But Fred remembered it all. The timeline how it would have been if we'd stayed together and he told us how it was different."
"Was it worth it?" Lily spat out. James couldn't tell if she was angry or just shocked.
"No," he whispered, "I don't think it was. It's all awful in fact." He felt the tears coming again as he pictured Arthur Weasley's smiling face and remembered the grief of his wife and children, "It's all awful."
He could feel himself breaking down as two things happened at once. The first was the now familiar feeling of guilt. The second was a terrible weight lifting from his shoulders. There. He'd said it. She knew.
It almost didn't matter how she responded now. She knew the truth and that was all that mattered.
He could feel his shoulders shaking, not with sobs, but with a sort of confused and trembling relief
"James," Lily cried quietly, and her arms went around him.
He was too overcome to say a word.
But it felt like coming home.
…………………………………………………………………..
A/N: Hi all. Hope you all like this one.
Thanks to everyone who liked the time traveling theory. It was as original as I could make it and I appreciate all the positive feedback on it.
Parrot:
I do have James saying some awkward stuff. Especially the "I have to die" comment. But I figured it was Ok as long as he sounded awkward saying it. Like he was trying to be something he didn't quite feel comfortable being, or putting forward a slightly forced face when he says these things. Neighbours was the soap I wrote for. And I reckon it's better than H&A. Much more "realistic". Even though most of the sets are collapsible. Seriously. Lou's pub just folds up when they're not shooting in it. And it's much smaller than it looks on the show. So are all the actors. They're like tiny people. The magic of television was destroyed for me when I walked onto that sound stage. J What eps are they up to in England? I think you're about 6months behind so you might be watching the ones I wrote for!
Ness
Okay, I might be bringing him back. Have patience. He he.
Templa
That was a BTtF line? Didn't even realize. Thanks for all the character stuff you noticed, as always. I am having a lot of fun writing James and Fred in particular, so I love that you picked up on all the nuances with them. I think you're probably watching the Neighbours eps I wrote for right now. If you see a Village People gag, that was mine.
Barzel
Yay! Someone got the reference! No theories as of yet. Maybe prince William discovers he's a half blood wizard?
Skahducky
Sorry, Harry doesn't exist here.
Duskrider
The characters have kind of taken over from me at this point. Can't promise what the ending will be like.
MidniteMarauder
Well, when James does something he jumps right in without looking at the warning signs. Thanks for your kind comments.
X-Woman
I do quite like the branching theory w/o time travel. I think it's fairly plausible.
Maryx As requested J
Tru Lys
I assume the report was due a while ago now, but feel free.
praesul femella
Ginny wasn't born because things were so horrible in the wizarding world that the Weasley's decided not to have a seventh child.
Dr Huff Puff
We aim to freak out! George went to creat a distraction so that Fred could sneak into Dumbledore's office without being found out by Filch.
Leena - Sama
Maybe James, maybe not.
Kluvhp
Yay! Someone noticed the SPEW reference! Yes it was Hermione in the hospital.
Errorbasin
Yeah. I was just reading a fic that went round in circles and didn't really seem to have a plot to speak of. I hate fics like that. I do like to think about what I write before plunging in. Thanks for noticing!
And thanks to everyone who reviewed!!
Cheers
Whiskey.
