~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~Well, you all thought my sleep induced story
about Malcolm's messaging problems was funny and you all seemed to want to
know about what Hoshi said in response.....so here it is. Oh and before
anybody says I doubt Hoshi would say that blah blah blah, think about it
this way: even if Hoshi was (incredibly) insubordinate Malcolm's not going
to be likely to say anything because well-he's the one in the wrong in the
first place and if all goes well, the guilt trip should be setting in
nicely. I'm crazy. Totally off my rocker insane. I'm gonna stop talking
now!~*~
Malcolm stared at the screen again miserably.
He finally opened up the message:
Limey Bastard-Your ass is mine, I'm coming for you. I'd run- Sato
"Bollocks" he said resignedly "Guess the shit has hit the fan now."
He suddenly felt glued to his chair, feeling strongly reminded of the saying:
'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'
"Especially a woman humiliated in front of the entire crew" he mused. "Captain Archer'll kill me, mind you he might have to dig me up first 'cause once Hoshi finished with me I might be in tiny unrecognisable pieces."
He stared at the screen again.
He heard the beep as someone tried to enter his quarters.
"Bugger."
"MALCOLM YOU SONOFABITCH OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!"
"No!" Malcolm yelled back
"GET YOUR COWARDLY ASS OUT HERE NOW! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS LIMEY!"
Malcolm calmly locked himself in his bathroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two weeks later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
In all honesty, I'm lucky to have survived this past week!
I made it through with only five ruined uniforms, a black eye and a broken toe!
My pride is in tatters and I think that nothing will embarrass me anymore.
The crewmen are laughing at me behind my back and wearing sunglasses. Trip punched me; Captain Archer proceeded to offer me his toothpaste for that 'ultra-white smile you seem to love so much!' Hoshi broke into my quarters, stole all my underwear and littered it round the ship. Archer was not amused when Porthos appeared wearing a pair of my skivvies.
T'Pol informed me that I can say what I want in my own head but sending it to the entire crew had not been the best idea. Well congratulations Captain Obvious! I never realised I shouldn't have done that!
Hoshi went into the kitchen and with chefs help made some god awful concoction that she then proceeded to pour over my head. (Ruined uniform number one)
Trip called a truce then asked me to help him move some 'empty' barrels, me like the bloody fool I am was so relieved I helped him. Seconds later I'm head to toe in neon pink powder. (Ruined uniform number two)
I'm assuming the next ruined uniform (number three) was courtesy of Hoshi, someone cut a large hole where my arse would be. I wondered why everyone was pointing and laughing then scarpered back to my quarters.
Laundry sent back two of my uniforms an interesting shade of green. (Ruined uniforms four and five)
There's no point in complaining, I brought this all on myself.
Oh the broken toe was actually my fault, I fell down a shaft. But it was with some sadistic satisfaction that Phlox treated me. Evil bastard.
The Captain finally called a truce something along the lines of 'he's suffered enough.' Then the kind man gave me a day off. Whoop-de-doo. How fantastic.
Still, if they think I'm gonna take this lying down they've got another thing coming.
After all, I have access to all their quarters.
Their asses are mine!
~*~You all wanted to know what Hoshi wrote. So, I wrote another chapter. It's done now however, it's up to your imaginations to fill in how Malcolm wreaks his revenge! Please review!~*~
Malcolm stared at the screen again miserably.
He finally opened up the message:
Limey Bastard-Your ass is mine, I'm coming for you. I'd run- Sato
"Bollocks" he said resignedly "Guess the shit has hit the fan now."
He suddenly felt glued to his chair, feeling strongly reminded of the saying:
'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'
"Especially a woman humiliated in front of the entire crew" he mused. "Captain Archer'll kill me, mind you he might have to dig me up first 'cause once Hoshi finished with me I might be in tiny unrecognisable pieces."
He stared at the screen again.
He heard the beep as someone tried to enter his quarters.
"Bugger."
"MALCOLM YOU SONOFABITCH OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!"
"No!" Malcolm yelled back
"GET YOUR COWARDLY ASS OUT HERE NOW! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS LIMEY!"
Malcolm calmly locked himself in his bathroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two weeks later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
In all honesty, I'm lucky to have survived this past week!
I made it through with only five ruined uniforms, a black eye and a broken toe!
My pride is in tatters and I think that nothing will embarrass me anymore.
The crewmen are laughing at me behind my back and wearing sunglasses. Trip punched me; Captain Archer proceeded to offer me his toothpaste for that 'ultra-white smile you seem to love so much!' Hoshi broke into my quarters, stole all my underwear and littered it round the ship. Archer was not amused when Porthos appeared wearing a pair of my skivvies.
T'Pol informed me that I can say what I want in my own head but sending it to the entire crew had not been the best idea. Well congratulations Captain Obvious! I never realised I shouldn't have done that!
Hoshi went into the kitchen and with chefs help made some god awful concoction that she then proceeded to pour over my head. (Ruined uniform number one)
Trip called a truce then asked me to help him move some 'empty' barrels, me like the bloody fool I am was so relieved I helped him. Seconds later I'm head to toe in neon pink powder. (Ruined uniform number two)
I'm assuming the next ruined uniform (number three) was courtesy of Hoshi, someone cut a large hole where my arse would be. I wondered why everyone was pointing and laughing then scarpered back to my quarters.
Laundry sent back two of my uniforms an interesting shade of green. (Ruined uniforms four and five)
There's no point in complaining, I brought this all on myself.
Oh the broken toe was actually my fault, I fell down a shaft. But it was with some sadistic satisfaction that Phlox treated me. Evil bastard.
The Captain finally called a truce something along the lines of 'he's suffered enough.' Then the kind man gave me a day off. Whoop-de-doo. How fantastic.
Still, if they think I'm gonna take this lying down they've got another thing coming.
After all, I have access to all their quarters.
Their asses are mine!
~*~You all wanted to know what Hoshi wrote. So, I wrote another chapter. It's done now however, it's up to your imaginations to fill in how Malcolm wreaks his revenge! Please review!~*~
