~*~Disclaimer=me no own!~*~ Well, thought I'd send a bit of festive cheer
Malcolm's way, yes he made up with everyone-isn't Christmas just fantastic?
Don't worry-I'm enjoying the story too much to just let it end here!
Hmm......the songs. Well they do exist-if you know anybody in the RAF
chances are they will have heard some of these at some point. 'Walking
round in women's underwear' is to the tune of winter wonderland-but it's
erm....very offensive probably and only funny if you're pissed, on second
thoughts might not include that one! Yeah so erm....yeah....erm....Merry
Christmas n all that!~*~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
It's the Christmas party tonight. I don't want to go. I'm sure a lot of people don't want me to go. I did actually get some small presents for some people and bunged them under the tree in the Mess Hall.
Look! I am not ready to become the Scrooge of Enterprise yet ya know! Even with all the pranks we played on each other!
Back to the party, here's my plan: get as drunk as possible (maybe so drunk I'm practically comatose I don't know yet) then get taken back to my quarters. Sounds like a brilliant plan to me.
Maybe not so brilliant.
I get 'very merry' when I'm drunk.
The Head of Security should not be seen 'very merry'.
Damn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Loads of beer, presents and loud rude songs later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
Malcolm: Wash brillian' paryee! Worra lorra nicesh people!
I gotsh Trip 'ere.
*mad laughter*
Yoo know wo' yoo are Trip?
Trip: WorramI Malyum?
Malcolm: Yoo are my bestesh mate in the whole of...erm......dunno.
Trip: The world?
Malcolm: Yeah!
Trip: Yoo ish my besh friend too Malyum.
Malcolm: Aww!
Trip: Part from Jon o' course.
Malcolm: Closesh enuff Trip.
Trip: Yup!
*More crazed laughter*
Trip: Ya know wot Malyum?
Malcolm: Wot Trip?
Trip: Ya shit-faced!
Malcolm: I ain't shit-faced! I'm pisshed ya fool! Yoo ish shit-faced!
Trip: Hey Malyum?
Malcolm: Yeah?
Trip: We forgotsh our pressies!
Malcolm: Nooo! We didn' we forgot 'em!
Trip: It wo' really funny when ya started shingin' those songs.
Malcolm: Which one? Good King Wencesslass?
Trip: Erm....yup!
Malcolm: Jush for yoo Trip I shing it again.
Good King Wencesslass last looked out
On the feash of Steven!
Silly bugger he fell down
On a red hot cinder!
Brightly shone his arse that night!
And his wife was cru-el,
She poked his bottom with a stick,
Laughing like a foo-el!
Trip: That wo' the one, the look on T'Polsh face! I though' her eyebrow wo' gonna fall off!
Malcolm: No, that wo' Walking round in womens underwear!
Trip: Yoo walk around in womens underwear?
*Silence*
Malcolm: No.
Trip: Malyum, seeing ash it's the season o' goodwill n all that crap how 'bout we make up?
Malcolm: Huh?
Trip: Right. I'm sorry for punching ya.
Malcolm: I'm sorry for stringing up your dodgy boxers up like a flag pole.
*laughs*
Trip: I'm sorry for getting' the powder on ya uniform.
Malcolm: Sorry for hackin' yoo're personal loggy thing n sending stuff to people.
Trip: Um....sorry for um stuff I can' remember at the moment.
Malcolm: Um yeah. Waahey! I'm thirshy now....
Trip: Stupid Malyum.....see yoo tomorrow!
Malcolm: It'sh already tomorrow!!
*Hysterical laughter*
Trip hash gone now. Hoshi shoo pretty. Copped a kiss under mistletoe. Mmmm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The morning after~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
Urgh.
I need a bucketful of asprin.
No. I need to puke.
Urgh.
Stupid Trip.
Know he must have something to do with me waking up on the floor this morning.
Need coffee.
Coffee so strong it'll strip the skin from my stomach. ~*~Ok, you can flame me all you want but in my warped imagination this was very funny! Decided against using Walking around in womens underwear-save that for Christmas parties. Heh he heh. I'll be back after Christmas! ~*~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
It's the Christmas party tonight. I don't want to go. I'm sure a lot of people don't want me to go. I did actually get some small presents for some people and bunged them under the tree in the Mess Hall.
Look! I am not ready to become the Scrooge of Enterprise yet ya know! Even with all the pranks we played on each other!
Back to the party, here's my plan: get as drunk as possible (maybe so drunk I'm practically comatose I don't know yet) then get taken back to my quarters. Sounds like a brilliant plan to me.
Maybe not so brilliant.
I get 'very merry' when I'm drunk.
The Head of Security should not be seen 'very merry'.
Damn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Loads of beer, presents and loud rude songs later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
Malcolm: Wash brillian' paryee! Worra lorra nicesh people!
I gotsh Trip 'ere.
*mad laughter*
Yoo know wo' yoo are Trip?
Trip: WorramI Malyum?
Malcolm: Yoo are my bestesh mate in the whole of...erm......dunno.
Trip: The world?
Malcolm: Yeah!
Trip: Yoo ish my besh friend too Malyum.
Malcolm: Aww!
Trip: Part from Jon o' course.
Malcolm: Closesh enuff Trip.
Trip: Yup!
*More crazed laughter*
Trip: Ya know wot Malyum?
Malcolm: Wot Trip?
Trip: Ya shit-faced!
Malcolm: I ain't shit-faced! I'm pisshed ya fool! Yoo ish shit-faced!
Trip: Hey Malyum?
Malcolm: Yeah?
Trip: We forgotsh our pressies!
Malcolm: Nooo! We didn' we forgot 'em!
Trip: It wo' really funny when ya started shingin' those songs.
Malcolm: Which one? Good King Wencesslass?
Trip: Erm....yup!
Malcolm: Jush for yoo Trip I shing it again.
Good King Wencesslass last looked out
On the feash of Steven!
Silly bugger he fell down
On a red hot cinder!
Brightly shone his arse that night!
And his wife was cru-el,
She poked his bottom with a stick,
Laughing like a foo-el!
Trip: That wo' the one, the look on T'Polsh face! I though' her eyebrow wo' gonna fall off!
Malcolm: No, that wo' Walking round in womens underwear!
Trip: Yoo walk around in womens underwear?
*Silence*
Malcolm: No.
Trip: Malyum, seeing ash it's the season o' goodwill n all that crap how 'bout we make up?
Malcolm: Huh?
Trip: Right. I'm sorry for punching ya.
Malcolm: I'm sorry for stringing up your dodgy boxers up like a flag pole.
*laughs*
Trip: I'm sorry for getting' the powder on ya uniform.
Malcolm: Sorry for hackin' yoo're personal loggy thing n sending stuff to people.
Trip: Um....sorry for um stuff I can' remember at the moment.
Malcolm: Um yeah. Waahey! I'm thirshy now....
Trip: Stupid Malyum.....see yoo tomorrow!
Malcolm: It'sh already tomorrow!!
*Hysterical laughter*
Trip hash gone now. Hoshi shoo pretty. Copped a kiss under mistletoe. Mmmm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The morning after~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
Urgh.
I need a bucketful of asprin.
No. I need to puke.
Urgh.
Stupid Trip.
Know he must have something to do with me waking up on the floor this morning.
Need coffee.
Coffee so strong it'll strip the skin from my stomach. ~*~Ok, you can flame me all you want but in my warped imagination this was very funny! Decided against using Walking around in womens underwear-save that for Christmas parties. Heh he heh. I'll be back after Christmas! ~*~
