AN: Okay. Second installment that was lost…until now. The humour will be stepped up here on out.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit. JK got it all, including Snape (Grrr not fair).

words means sim language

Chapter 2

Name: Professor Snape

Location: Lost

Mood: Pissed off

It was the middle of the day, and the ever clear sky showed an ever shining sun. A thud was heard and disturbed the raccoon digging in the trash can for food.

"Bollocks!"

Snape had landed with a thud on what appeared to be what muggles thought was a gnome. In the wizarding world a gnome actually looks more like a sack of potatoes rather than the funny, little fat Father Christmas things with little fishing rods.

Grimacing as he stood up, as I'm sure most people would if they had fallen arse first on Santa Clause's miniature self, the Professor studied his surroundings.

The first thing he noticed was that the land stopped short and there was grey beyond that point. This meant he was unable to pinpoint his whereabouts. Looking around at the land that he could see, Snape realized that everything was too perfect. The grass was too green, the walls of the house had perfect brickwork and there were no clouds in the sky.

Looking up he also saw a crystal shape above his head, it was red. (Meaning to those of you who might not be familiar with the Sims he was angry, or upset, but knowing the Potions Master I think he was angry. Very, very angry)

Growling at the crystal, which Snape presumed to be a curse put on him, he walked away from underneath the crystal.

The crystal followed.

Practically snarling, the Professor drew out his wand and pointed at the thing and muttered every curse he knew.

Five minutes later, as he knew quite a few, including some none magical curses; the thing from bastard hell as he had named it, was still above Snape's head. It was a bit black from the burning, but appeared to be unharmed. Much to Snape's distaste.

Giving up on getting rid of the crystal, as it appeared to be unmovable as of now, Snape decided to see what was in the house.

Getting into the house was easy; Alohamora wasn't required as the door was open. In the house he saw again that everything was too perfect. The hall way was full of lots of expensive paintings and sculptures. The wallpaper was bland and the floor had no marks of any kind on it. Even the cleanest of floors had foot prints on, or dust.

There were three doors; two to either side and one in front, Snape choose the door on his right. Toilet. He went through the door on the left and entered the living room area with a door into the kitchen and dining room.

The Potions Master heard singing on the other side of the door and was a little gratified that there was someone to answer his many questions. He was also glad to have someone to vent his anger on, but he wasn't going to let them know that.

Snape went to greet the person, who he saw was a woman, with unnatural unmoving hair. He had a choice for some reason between a wave or a hand shake. Easily shaking the strange sensation off, he started to ask who she was.

"Who are you?" After saying the first few words in English, he found he had started to speak another language. Clearing his throat, Snape tried again. Again the same thing happened.

Then the strange sensation returned. This time it wanted him to hug the woman in front of him. Snape was frankly disgusted at wanted to have bodily contact with a woman he didn't know and couldn't speak English to. The strange sensation was very familiar with the Imperio curse. Like the Imperio curse, however, it was resistible, and Snape did just that.

So he was dealing with someone who could do advanced dark magic. Well that was fine with him, he knew dark magic too.

The Professor of Hogwarts raised his wand and started the incantation for a nasty curse he knew from his time as a Death Eater.

Oh bloody hell, what next?

The incantation apparently didn't work in the idiotic dialect he now found himself talking in.

The woman with the unmoving hair, and face pulled a wand out of nowhere.

What Said Snape raising an eyebrow. And just what do you plan to do with that? He asked, not really expecting an answer.

This! Replied the woman. Snape took at step back in surprise and prepared to defend himself

Toadification Shouted the woman waving the wand.

Snape wasn't quite expecting that and tried to counter with a spell not requiring an incantation, just a gesture, but that didn't work either.

There was puff of purple smoke. From it came the noise, "Ribbet!"

Professor Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts, member of the Order of the Phoenix, former Death Eater and now spy for the only wizard that You-Know-Who fears, Albus Dumbledore, was a toad.

A slimy, green toad.

AN: Christ! Longer than I was gonna write, phew. I just sat down and it kept coming. Hope you liked it. Sorry about the writing style, I'm still working on it. It's a bit too smug sounding and doesn't have enough describing in it. Hey listen to me I'm reviewing my own work.

(That's what you're meant to do ain't it? Tee Hee only jokin. But a review would be a really nice thing to do, brighten my day so to speak.)

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