~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~Hee hee hee, slightly insane and have worked out that I'm channelling all my loopyness into this story which just proves I'm losing it I suppose!~*~

Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:

Found a new alien planet, made contact. Aliens came aboard. Wasn't allowed to have the amount of security I wanted.

Then people had the cheek to tell me to 'make nice'!! Make nice? When I am anything but polite? Make nice my arse! It's my job to be suspicious! Can't just go trusting every Tom, Dick and Harry I meet can I?

Turns out I was right to be suspicious; you'll never guess what happened. No really going on guess.

Oh Jesus, I'm talking to myself. Fan-bloody-tastic! Not only am I in pain I'm also clinically insane-isn't that just marvellous?

Well, the aliens (surprise, Surprise) turned out to be fairly homicidal with an added streak of sadism to top it off. I went down to the planet, with Archer, T'Pol and various other people. All of a sudden we're surrounded by big guns. I valiantly fire many shots; to save everyone yadda yadda yadda I get shot. Down on the ground I'm doing my whole: "Save yourselves!" bit. So they do, the fucking bastards bugger off and leave me!

I didn't mean it! I'm not that insane!

So anyway about two hours later, when I'm not quite with it because of pain and blood loss they dive in a save the day! Hurray!

Was quite proud of how my team performed really-must remember to commend them when I can stand up.

Actually, didn't quite mind being so well....abandoned, when Hoshi came to see if I was ok. Of course didn't quite manage any structure sentences only managed to get out: aha, mmm, hmm, err, erm, um, mhm. So mini dilemma over how I will actually manage to look her in the face again.

Injury wise-it could've been worse-I could've died, so on the plus side all I need was some pints (!!) of blood. Got shot in the chest and in the leg so I'm not quite able to move without the help of crutches.

Predictably Phlox put me on sick leave-the bastard. What the hell am I supposed to do for three weeks?

Well, I guess it's just me and you brain.

Bugger. I wonder how many cracks there are in the ceiling. Look! A sock out of place-must remember to tidy that up.

I know! Maybe there's some paint I can watch dry!

Damn, I need a life.

~*~OK, think of this as crazy Malcolm hyped up on pain medication speaking- because we all know that people go slightly wappy on pain meds.......*ignores blank stares* For the purpose of this it does alright? Review!!!!!!!!!~*~