AN: Thank you, thank you for all the kind reviews! I LOVE REVIEWS! And yes I must admit the poem wasn't as good as it could have been, but I was still damn proud of it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or The Sims, no money made, please don't sue.
Words means sim language said aloud. All thoughts of Snape are in English. Just to clarify.
Chapter 4
Not long ago, in a galaxy only god knows where…
A man of questionable grooming habits stood reading a book of spells. Well…what he considered to be a poor excuse for one.
Diamond Dust? Golden Thread? Oh, for the love of Merlin PIXIE DUST! Professor Snape muttered to himself. What kind of idiot thought up these? Questioned Hogwarts' Potions Master mentally adding them to his torture and kill list along with Potter (torture at every possible moment), The Dark Lord (kill at the first possible moment) and the 'stupid cow' (torture, then kill at the first possible moment for as long as possible).
Snape was still looking through the book ten minutes later. He decided what was good enough for the goose was good enough for the gander too. He would 'banish' the 'stupid cow' before she could 'banish' him. He'd see to it he would have the last laugh, 'insert maniacal laughter here'! Now all he had to do was acquire the ingredients…easy right? I mean how hard could it be to get Butter, Snake Venom and Garlic? It sounded more like a Malfoy shopping list than spell ingredients anyway. Easy? Yeah right.
Shutting the book Snape steeled himself for the inevitable jump into the unknown. Which he presumed had to be the way to get these ingredients according to what the 'stupid cow' said. And…he was NOT looking forward to it.
He walked up to the hole in the ground with a lit up arrow pointing down, in case you didn't know which way was down.
Right Severus. Just jump into the hole…that appears to have no bottom...The pep talk the Professor was giving to himself was because, and not many people know this, he was afraid of falling. This fear meant that he made sure that he kept an exceptionally strong hold of his broom when flying, which he did as little as possible, refereeing the Quidditch match in Potter's first year being the exception.
Five minutes later…
Just jump. It cannot possibly be bottomless. Just jump dammit!
Ten minutes later…
Jump! When you've finished messing around the 'stupid cow' will be here and thenyou'llbebanishedtoMerlinknowswheresojust 'breathe' JUMP!
And then he jumped, hugging his knees and just praying he didn't end as a human pancake at the bottom of the impossibly deep hole or worse, ended up falling for the rest of his natural life.
"I knew it! I knew I'd just end up falling and falling and…I think I'm going to lose my supper!" A falling Snape's desperate thoughts were as such falling down a long, dark hole. The opening becoming a pin prick of light, until…
Unknown to the natural forces of man, Snape felt a strong force start to pull him OUT OF THE HOLE towards the light and land not so gracefully on his rump, for the second time that day, on a strange, twisted bit of wood growing out of the ground.
And just what the hell was that all about! Shouted a snarked off Snape to no-one in particular whilst picking himself up from the ground.
He looked around him and as with the other place there was only grey after a certain point, the grass was an unnatural green and the sky was perpetually sunny. The flowers, trees and bushes were all the same and the flowers planted in neat, abnormal rows around a clearing in the middle. There were also two buildings; one looked to be the toilets, and the other had a shop on the ground floor selling baking goods and the roof had chairs and checkerboards. He saw many people like the 'stupid cow' meandering around, in what muggles would call wizard's clothes and what wizards would call muggle's clothes along with what he assumed to be a faerie and a vampiress both mugglised. An elderly Asian man wearing a turban was sitting on a carpet, snake charming and there were three carts selling some of the ridiculous ingredients that he had read about in the so called 'spell book'. In the centre of all this was what appeared to be a dueling arena.
"Well then. That appeared to work, even though it was very unpleasant," thought Snape to himself brushing off bits a debris from falling, then flying, then falling again. "Finding these ingredients isn't as easy as I thought. These people had better not be the same as that 'stupid cow' or they will regret it."
The building with the shop selling baking goods appeared to be the best bet for Butter, so off he went. Entering the shop he saw again floors too perfect, and the wooden walls, doors and windows made it look like the inside of a gypsy caravan and low and behold, the shop keeper was a gypsy. Snape asked the gypsy called Beshaley for some Butter.
On the shelves, 5 for 80 Simoleans sir. Answered the clerk.
I don't think I've got any Simoleans. Said Snape.
You don't have to carry them on you; it comes straight out of your household account.
"Really?" thought Snape. "So the bill is sent to the 'stupid cow'? Excellent"
Good. So I'll have 20 then. He told Beshaley.
Thank you that will be 320 Simoleans out of your account. She said handing Snape the Butter.
Tell you what. Make it 400 Simoleans and keep the change. Smirked Snape.
Thank you very much sir!
Snape left the gypsy shop a little happier but his revenge was no where near revisited upon the 'stupid cow' quite yet.
Next on the ingredients list was Snake Venom, also what the 'stupid cow' needed. "Where could I buy the Snake Venom?" Snape asked himself looking around the clearing, his eyes narrowing in thought when he saw the snake charmer. He walked up to the charmer and sat down at the empty place on the carpet, struggling slightly to cross his legs.
Can you sell me some Snake Venom?
I am a man who finds himself with an abundance of Snake Venom, but very little Golden Thread with which to weave a rug for my beautiful wife at home. Was the only answer Snape got.
So you want some Golden Thread for the Snake Venom?
Again he got the same answer word for word.
Slightly miffed and knowing he was getting nowhere he got up rather awkwardly and again turned his shrewd eyes to the task of locating some Golden Thread. Off in a corner of the clearing he saw something shiny catch his eyes at the faerie Mara's stall. He walked nearer to see better and saw what he deemed to be Golden Thread.
I would like to purchase some of your Golden Thread. He told Mara.
Certainly sir, that will be 14 MagiCoins. Answered the faerie in a slightly high, hyper, I've had too much sugar voice.
Ah…are they the same as Simoleans by any chance? Asked Snape hoping she would saw yes and that the 'stupid cow' would have to pick up the check like before.
No, I'm sorry sir, everyone must earn their own MagiCoins and you don't appear to have any.
Great! Exclaimed an exasperated Snape. And how do I earn those then?
Here, you can try snake charming with Naggasante or challenge anyone to a duel.
A duel? Asked Snape his interest peaked.
Yes. You earn more money if you choose a stall holder, and less if you choose someone not as experienced.
Thank you, and do you know where I could get some Garlic?
Yes. Vicki Vampiress is always trying to get rid of some.
Snape's eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, wondering what a vampire would be doing with Garlic in the first place, dismissing the thought . He nodded to Mara in thanks and set off for the dueling arena.
AN: Phew! I did a cliff hanger for the first one so why break with tradition. That took some writing and I've got a new keyboard which I'm trying to get used to because the keys are harder to press. I hope the conversations aren't too bad, I've never been very good at writing them. Must practice!
Please review!
'Insert very badly, but I'm proud of it, written poem'
