~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~lol, thanks for all the reviews! Hee hee hee I
thought the last chapter was funny too! But anyway going against all laws
of what would really happen roll on the next chapter!~*~
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
I had a brilliant day.
Lovely.
Everything is great.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Feel like shooting myself.
And Archer.
And Trip.
And Travis.
And Hoshi, no not Hoshi, I could never shoot Hoshi.
Damn her! She so cunning! One look into those bloody beautiful eyes of hers and you're hooked. How can a man fight that combination? Looks and intelligence!! IT'S NOT FAIR!
Alright here's what I need to do-Things I need to do tomorrow:
Shove Archer out the nearest airlock
Have plastic surgery so no one knows who I am
Flee for new life on distant planet
Well, as you might've guessed oh dear computer Archer agreed. HE FUCKING AGREED TO THE DEATH OF MY DIGNITY AND AND AND AND MY SELF RESPECT!!!!! Said it would be good for crew morale.
Who gives a flying fuck about crew morale? What about MY morale?!?!?
Hoshi is holding me to what I said, she told me I can't back out without a good reason saying it would all be tastefully done in the armoury. I couldn't tell her the only reason I said yes was because I was trying not to screw up and say something horribly wrong!
Archer looked slightly uncomfortable when Hoshi left her meeting with him. She signed him up too.
Afterwards I warned Trip, Trip didn't mind.
The smug bastard thought it'd be fun.
Travis wasn't that bothered either.
Calmly resisted the urge to hit them for not taking my side. Perhaps if we're lucky we'll meet a new alien civilisation who hate us so I can get shot.
There is no way I'm getting my wedding tackle out to be photographed. 'Little Mal' is not making an appearance. No way. Not in this universe.
I mean I'll look stupid!! Plus the thought of being stood naked in front of superior officers is enough to scare anyone. I'll look like the world's biggest wanker from wankerville!
Plus I know for a fact that women would climb over burning coals to go out with Trip or Travis and throw me through the nearest airlock!
I'm serious! I'm so serious I'm talking to myself! Maybe I should just take a shuttlepod and fly away!
So anyway, the upshot of it is in two weeks unless by some miracle I can get out it Malcolm Reed is going to be revealed to the world in all his naked glory.
I think I'm going to throw up.
Lt Malcolm Reed: The Bugger Files:
I had a brilliant day.
Lovely.
Everything is great.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Feel like shooting myself.
And Archer.
And Trip.
And Travis.
And Hoshi, no not Hoshi, I could never shoot Hoshi.
Damn her! She so cunning! One look into those bloody beautiful eyes of hers and you're hooked. How can a man fight that combination? Looks and intelligence!! IT'S NOT FAIR!
Alright here's what I need to do-Things I need to do tomorrow:
Shove Archer out the nearest airlock
Have plastic surgery so no one knows who I am
Flee for new life on distant planet
Well, as you might've guessed oh dear computer Archer agreed. HE FUCKING AGREED TO THE DEATH OF MY DIGNITY AND AND AND AND MY SELF RESPECT!!!!! Said it would be good for crew morale.
Who gives a flying fuck about crew morale? What about MY morale?!?!?
Hoshi is holding me to what I said, she told me I can't back out without a good reason saying it would all be tastefully done in the armoury. I couldn't tell her the only reason I said yes was because I was trying not to screw up and say something horribly wrong!
Archer looked slightly uncomfortable when Hoshi left her meeting with him. She signed him up too.
Afterwards I warned Trip, Trip didn't mind.
The smug bastard thought it'd be fun.
Travis wasn't that bothered either.
Calmly resisted the urge to hit them for not taking my side. Perhaps if we're lucky we'll meet a new alien civilisation who hate us so I can get shot.
There is no way I'm getting my wedding tackle out to be photographed. 'Little Mal' is not making an appearance. No way. Not in this universe.
I mean I'll look stupid!! Plus the thought of being stood naked in front of superior officers is enough to scare anyone. I'll look like the world's biggest wanker from wankerville!
Plus I know for a fact that women would climb over burning coals to go out with Trip or Travis and throw me through the nearest airlock!
I'm serious! I'm so serious I'm talking to myself! Maybe I should just take a shuttlepod and fly away!
So anyway, the upshot of it is in two weeks unless by some miracle I can get out it Malcolm Reed is going to be revealed to the world in all his naked glory.
I think I'm going to throw up.
