Disclaimer: I will never own HP even if I want to.

A/n: Thank you guys for your reviews... It really inspired me to go on. I planned on aborting this story but, I decided to go on. And since I am almost running out of ideas for this story, please let me know some of your suggestions... And please review more... Thanks! Here goes...

By: aningme


Anger Management

Chapter 5

Draco's POV

I couldn't understand why I was feeling this way. I became confused and ignorant of what I ought to do. Since that night, I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what I was supposed to do about the fact that I showed her all those things about me. And now, I don't know what to make out of it.

I felt dumb for showing my weakness, for telling her I gave up already and I couldn't live my own life as a Malfoy. But then, I also felt something else. I felt good letting go of all of it. I felt free from all the clutches my father set for me. I was untied from the bounds of guilt and shame. I felt more like myself now.

But then that wasn't an excuse. I was bound to be a Malfoy. I was destined to be what I ought to be. My father taught me that. But then, with all the things he had done, why do I still believe him? Why do I still trust him? I guess I am just confused. He was my father. I always wanted to make him proud of me. He always wanted me to be brave. And I forced myself to be brave for him. I wanted his attention. I wanted his love. But I guess I failed him. I put him down.

It was already morning, and I am still stuck here on our bed sleepless. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but think of Him. And her. I glance at my side and saw her sleeping quietly. I always took her for granted. I always did terrible things to them because... well... my Father said so. He's not here anymore. At least not in this world. And maybe these things that are happening now aren't my fault anymore. But his.

As I stared at her, I felt that I wanted her. I wanted to be with her of all people in this world. She made me feel different. She made me feel like me. I hoped I would find that kind of person somewhere but I never expected to see it in her. And with this Anger Management, things are beginning to be better for me.

But still I couldn't understand myself. I just stayed quiet as we ate together in the Great Hall. She looked at me, watching my every move, but I just stared on my food and played with it, just having something to do with my hands. We took our baths very quietly too, not speaking a word. We started our chores too in silence, as she sweeps the halls and I mop it. I guess she was confused about last night too. As much as I was, maybe.

Suddenly I see myself struggling against two things. I wanted to say thank you to her for being there. But I wanted to shout at her too for making me open up just like that. She's the only one who managed to make me feel like this. I've never felt anything like this before.

"Malfoy." She called me. I pretended not to hear her, just mopping the floor quietly. "Malfoy look at me." She muttered, dropping the broom. "Draco, stop acting like I don't exist." She knelt down to the floor with me. I just continued my work. But then, she took my rag away, throwing it away from us. I just looked at it and felt like a rag myself. "Look at me Draco."

Having no choice, I turned to her and looked at her as blank as I could. I can no longer tell her more things about me. It would make me more confused.

"What's wrong?" She muttered and held my hand. I suddenly flinched and slipped my hand away. That startled her. "What's going on with you? Is this because of last night?"

She must be thinking about last night too.

"I'm fine!" I almost shouted at her. I didn't know how to tell her how I felt. She just stared at me.

"If you're really fine then talk to me like you did last night." She uttered, holding my hand again. But as I tried to get away from her, she held me tighter, now using her two hands. Much to my surprise, she grabbed me, wrapping her arms around me, not letting me go. I tried to fight her but then I found myself weakening and starting to sob.

"I can't do this..." I muttered against her neck. She just held me and wrapped me in her arms, holding me tight.

"What's wrong, Draco?" She repeated, whispering in my ear. I just stayed as I was, resting my head on her shoulder.

I couldn't explain everything to her. I felt scared of what she might think. And I felt more afraid of what my Father would think.

I could still feel him. I could feel his eyes watching me as I cried. I felt so confused that I wanted to close my eyes and never wake. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to become myself anymore.


A/n: You must be wondering what the hell Draco is doing in this part. Well, I just showed you guys what he was thinking so it would be fair with him. I hoped you liked the new Draco I portrayed here. But if you didn't, please tell me. And...(as always) Please review! Thanks...ΓΌ (And thank you for the people who sent reviews to me... You were the ones who pushed me to continue... Thanks!)

aningme