I know I said it would be a while but when I started I couldn't stop! I hope you like it although I'm worried it sounds more like a domestic and that it's too short. Let me know what you think!
Worth It
7. Heroes and Cowards
Carson pushed the wheelchair up the last ramp to the briefing room but then took a detour across the catwalk to the popular glass office. The crowd surrounding Colonel Caldwell that consisted of both civilians and marines heightened this fact. He appeared to be listening intently to their discussion but Elizabeth knew Ryan would really be bored to tears. The only reason he had to listen to the crowd was because she was not available. Beckett paused and walked round to bend in front of his patient and gave her a worried look.
"You don't have to do this now Dr Weir." He said quietly. "Colonel Sheppard would understand."
Elizabeth smiled gratefully at the doctor and touched his cheek. "Carson, you worry too much, especially about me." She told him and a sheepish smile appeared on his likeable face. "I have to do this, for my own piece of mind too."
He nodded understandingly and returned to his position behind the moving chair. Not wanting to overcrowd the office further they waited patiently until Caldwell noticed them. When he did a huge smile lit up his face and Elizabeth's heart began to pound. The smile just made her angrier when she recalled how he had taken the credit for rescuing her and the way he had talked about feelings in the infirmary. Gripping the armrests Elizabeth watched as Caldwell ushered out the group and waved her inside.
"Elizabeth! Glad to see you out and about. Want to come in?" he asked displaying a charming smile and she heard Carson mutter behind her.
"Oh, please!"
Biting her lip Elizabeth forced a small smile and Beckett pushed the chair until she was in front of the desk.
"Would you like me to stay Dr Weir?" he asked glaring cautiously at Ryan but she shook her head.
"I'll be fine. If I need you I'll call." She promised and squinting saw her friend leave the office, closing the door as he did so. With narrow eyes Elizabeth watched Ryan walk round to the seat behind the desk and he sat down with a grunt.
"God, Liz. I don't know how you do this everyday. I wanted to scratch my eyes out during that briefing!" he complained with a chuckle. When Elizabeth didn't respond he looked up to see her give him a pathetic look. It was then he realised she knew everything and sighed deciding to play innocent. "What's wrong?"
"You know damn well what's wrong." She said in a low, voice but Ryan knew it was a deadly one.
Staring at the woman opposite him for a minute Caldwell then stood up and turned his back to her unable to face the resentful expression.
"I'm sorry." He muttered and heard a creak. Looking over his shoulder Caldwell saw Elizabeth stand up using the desk for support and he rushed round beside her. Reaching out to grab her arm, Weir shoved it away and glared at him.
"Now you want to help me? Don't bother!" she spat and Ryan stood back. He had never heard this woman so angry before and knew this was going to be rough.
"Liz, I don't what else I can say! I'm so sorry for not coming back!" he pleaded with her but her face was unforgiving.
"You didn't even need to do it Ryan! " Suddenly her furious expression was replaced with a hurt one. "All you had to do was let John go back for me. That was all." She almost whispered the last part and Elizabeth fought hard to keep the tears from falling. Damn it Liz, don't let him see you like this!
Watching as she took a deep breath Ryan took this opportunity to plea his case. "I know! But there were enemy soldiers on the ground, I wanted to get everyone back! You don't understand Elizabeth, in situations like that you have to think of the bigger picture!"
Her lived face returned and she gaped at him. "So, I'm expendable! Is that what you're saying? Me, the woman you love, is not worth risking your life for!"
If there had been a fire in the room it would have frozen her voice was so cold. Ryan suddenly wished there were blinds in the office and hoped not many people could hear her angry rant. Seeing his distracted face only infuriated Elizabeth more.
"Oh, you're worried that everyone can hear this?" she asked calmly which unnerved Caldwell and he watched her walk to the door. She suddenly flung it open so it clattered off of the window and the glass shook. "Well they can now! Do you know there are so many men and woman in Atlantis that have risked their lives to save each other because we don't leave people behind! You left me Ryan, you left me to die!"
Ryan stared at her in horror. "Please, Elizabeth don't do this. Let's go somewhere more private!"
Elizabeth couldn't believe her ears. Even after he knew how much he'd hurt her, the constant need to look strong and courageous in front of others still won. "I cannot believe I ever thought I could love you!"
His face went from looking scared to hurt and, maybe even regret, Weir hoped. Feeling her voice hoarse after shouting and her back stinging from the dramatic movement she decided to back down a little, but only for her sake.
"Do you know how confused I've been lately?" she asked croakily and Ryan was shocked at how quiet she now sounded. Walking over to the wheelchair Elizabeth sat back down and Ryan copied her. Looking back up at him she decided to come clean.
"I recently learned that someone else loves me Ryan." She told him and when the marine narrowed his eyes Elizabeth knew he knew who it was. "When I found out I didn't know what to do. Although I knew how strongly I felt for him, I still thought that maybe we could work things out."
"Why can't we?" Ryan asked sadly. "It was one weak moment Elizabeth."
When she looked down at her lap and sighed he became agitated knowing she had made up her mind. "Okay! I ordered everyone out! But Sheppard had to just do his own thing, like always!"
At his spiteful remark Elizabeth's head snapped up. "That's what this is about? You're jealous?" The harsh voice had returned and Ryan rolled his eyes in response.
"Please! That guy has tried to muscle in our relationship since it first began! You know I thought that maybe, eventually you would see him for what he really is, a…"
"Hero!" Elizabeth shouted. "A man who's risked his life for this city and us countless of times! A man who would stop at nothing to save the person he loves! " Elizabeth was now hovering in her seat but then eventually stood up straight.
"He disobeyed a direct order…" Ryan began also standing but was interrupted again.
"You are going to punish him for saving my life? The woman you love?" Elizabeth asked in disbelief.
Watching him closely through heated eyes she saw the ashamed feelings behind his and shook her head.
"You know that is wrong Ryan." Elizabeth stated but didn't receive a response. Suddenly aware of no noise coming from outside, both knew the entire control room was listening. But this didn't stop Elizabeth. "No matter what you do now, I will always hate you Ryan."
Her distaste for him was evident in her voice and all Caldwell could do was stare at her. No emotions passed his face and Elizabeth felt better having finally made her decision. Turning round she passed the medical contraption and began to walk out the door. Just before she reached the doorway, Ryan tried one last time.
"Elizabeth!"
She stopped hearing the panic in his voice and slowly spun so she could see him.
"Please, don't leave me. Not for him." Ryan begged although his voice was thick. Looking directly into his hopeful eyes she gave him a disappointed glare.
"He saved me, you didn't. He's a hero, you're a coward."
And with her final, matter of fact statement Elizabeth walked out of the office.
As she made her way through the control room, while ignoring the screaming pain in her back, she felt the eyes of all the spectators follow her, including Carson who was too shocked to realise the wheelchair was nowhere to be seen. Snapping out of his daze the Scot quickly followed her down the steps to make sure Elizabeth was okay.
Colonel Ryan Caldwell stood for several minutes repeating her hurtful remark over and over in his head. He then sat down heavily and placed his head in his hands. Lifting his head back up Ryan felt and then saw several personnel peering into the office, most with an unimpressed look upon their faces. Glimpsing at John Sheppard's file sitting next to him on the desk he felt his humiliation turn into anger. Grabbing the file he flipped it opened and stared at the pilot's face.
For the next hour or so no one disturbed Colonel Caldwell as they could all see the fury and rage clearly embedded on his face. And no one wanted to be on the receiving end of that.
