2. The Truth Is..







As impossible as it was to take in, and believe me, I had several crazy feeling moments just following my discovery, I knew there was no way that six years had actually passed since I was admitted. All that time had been in my head. I shook it as if to dislodge the memories that I couldn't get to. The ones that led up my being here the second time around, because I was now sure that this was the second time, no matter what the date was or anything else, I knew that I'd been in here once before, after I'd been called, but it wasn't for long, they'd let me out when I stopped talking about it and I'd carried on with my training after a bit of a stern lecture from Merrick about my secret identity and that no one was to know what I did. My parents had continued to worry about my behaviour and then, Merrick had died, I had to set fire to the gym, they kicked me out of school and everyone thought I was a mental case anyway. Well all except Pike. Pike! If it's really 1996, he must still be around, I wasn't sure. The events in my head seemed to diverge at my blowing up the gym. There was no real way to know what was going on in the real world. I hadn't been able to keep in touch with Pike after we moved to Sunnydale, but that wasn't real, we hadn't moved to Sunnydale, even so, I don't think that by this date we'd moved, we were planning it though. Dad had left and we were moving. But it hadn't happened. This was way too confusing.



The truth was that it was only weeks since I'd blown up the gym, since they'd kicked me out of school. But the thing was, that wasn't when they'd put me in here. I remember the aftermath of it, being shouted at a lot and my parents shouting at each other and them looking at other schools for me. I hadn't been too interested. I was pissed off mostly, I'd got kicked out of school, lost all my friends, not that they'd been too into me just before that. And it was all because I was the slayer. Why had it happened? I hadn't asked for it. Who would ask for their life to be turned upside down? These feelings came back almost as strong as when I'd thought them, and that wasn't that long ago, even though it felt like it. Angry was the word.



I remembered up to a couple weeks after the gym incident, I think I was patrolling with Pike, I think I was anyway. Patrolling, fighting, staking, the usual; and then.what happened after that? Did I go home? Do some more training? No.



I was still searching my fractured memory when the doctor came back in followed by my parents, smiles plastered on their faces. I smiled and despite my difficulty I realised that he must have said something encouraging. I changed that encouraging to great when he announced that I wouldn't be here for very much longer, having diagnosed me with a personality disorder (yeah right) he said I seemed to be okay and that all needed once I was released was regular therapy for my disorder. Well I was going to agree to practically anything to get out of here. To get on with my life, or in my parents words, get on with school. That felt very weird, school; I had to go through all that again, even though I know I haven't really graduated. Weird was the word!



He didn't actually say how soon, mom and dad said something about it being about a week but I knew they didn't really know. It was going to be hard to get used to the idea of having them around again. Seeing mom was so great it took huge restraint on my part not to hug her and exclaim how great it was that she wasn't dead each time she appeared. Dad was a different matter. I have all this resentment for him but I know that he hasn't done anything to deserve it. Not yet anyway. I knew that they weren't on the greatest of terms right now. I could tell just by watching them. I'd seen it before. I knew that it was coming; they probably knew it too. I expect they were just hanging on for me, until I got out of here, until I was 'better'.



I was sitting in my room again, staring at the walls, there wasn't very much to do except that, I wouldn't be surprised if people who weren't cracked in the first place ended up that way just by being in one of these rooms. It feels like they're full of ghosts. With the news that I was going home soon my parents had been allowed to get me some of my own clothes. It was both a relief and a problem. I tried not to look at the clothes mom handed me with distaste. While it was good to wear something.normal, I was partly horrified at my taste in clothes; or rather, the memory of it, since my mom obviously didn't bring me my whole wardrobe. Okay, most of them were okay and I know that they were all fashionable but I still felt like I needed a whole new load of clothes. I had a feeling my mom wouldn't object right now. She'd probably let me have anything, in relief that I wasn't really crazy, but I guess that would be taking advantage of the situation. I smiled as the sixteen year old in me found the idea pretty funny.



I was also going to have to get used to the fact that while it felt like I was 21, I was really only sixteen, though probably a little more mature as I had had to be with being the slayer, and also since I now had these six years worth of memories of growing up and stuff. Okay, now I'm confusing myself, maybe if I'm going to do that it should be in useful way. Like trying to figure out what happened during that patrol. I was sure it was during the patrol. I was fighting, Pike was fighting a little further away and then.after I thought I'd finished with the last vamp I was attacked from behind; Pike didn't even have time to warn me. That's it! That's what happened! I was attacked and I flipped over and turned round expecting to find another vamp, instead it was an icky demon. It was that demon, the same one. That's where I'd seen him before! I smiled as the pieces fitted back into place. Though it wasn't long lived. He'd poisoned me, he poisoned me then and then.I think he'd run or disappeared and Pike was at my side. I felt okay, a bit dizzy but otherwise fine and he took me home telling me to get a load of rest.



I don't remember too clearly after that, I.was delirious; my parents thought I had the flu. But then I started talking about vampires and that a demon that poisoned me and about Pike and they got me straight back in that, this, horrible place. The only thing I remember after that and between waking up here are those six years in Sunnydale. But it hadn't been six years, just a couple of weeks. What did it mean? I needed to get out here very badly. Besides which the vamps could be having any number of parties with the slayer MIA.



I was just thinking that I needed a new watcher and wondering whether he'd be anything like Giles when an orderly poked his head round the door.



"Hey Buffy, you have a visitor, he's in the day room." I smiled slightly puzzled. My parents normally came straight into my room.



"Who is it?" I asked.



"Your uncle I think, come on, I think he may be in a hurry." I frowned as I followed him out of the room. I didn't have an uncle, or okay I did but he was in Europe or somewhere. Always travelling like dad. I didn't see any reason why he'd come and see me. Curious I peered round the corner into the room before my eyes rested where Giles was sitting. I did a double take as I had done with the calendar and I expect my expression must have been very similar to when I'd found out the real date. I walked forward somewhat awkwardly. What the heck was I meant to say? Hi I know who you are because you were my watcher and I've known you for six years in my head? I don't think so. I knew why the orderly had thought he was in a hurry as he kept checking his watch. I approached him nervously and I knew I'd have to tell him about the whole thing, especially if more things started happening like they had in my, lets call it a 'dream', sounds less crazy that way. Certainly, if Giles was going to be my watcher, that was the same. I supposed that I was going to have to take each day as it came, I mean, no one can really know the future before it happens. Right?

Well, maybe not so much.





Tbc.......



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