I heard this song on the radio the other day and thought this would be a great song for a fic. I tear up everytime I hear this song(yes, i'm lame). The fic is to MarkWills' "In My Arms." It is a very beauticul and moving song andI hope you enjoy it and please read and review. As always, they are much appreciated
Disclaimer: Don't own them
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Three a.m. on the clock
Lullaby, music box
Oh, baby please don't cry
The sudden clap of thunder startled me and I shot up to a sitting position. What time was it anyway? I glanced over to the clock on my bedside table. Three in the morning? I swore the storm always came at the worst times. I laid back and rubbed my tired eyes. What a day it had been. The sky lit up with flashes on lightning that shattered across it, thunder following suit again. Would it ever end?
Just as I laid back down, a sound from the next room caused me to crack open my eyes again. The shrill cry was growing louder. Blasted storm. I only prayed that it would not wake Pocahontas. I looked over to my right to see my wife curled up in a small ball. the poor thing. Today had been exhausting for her as well.
Careful not to disturb my love, I silently rose from the bed, grabbed my robe from a nearby chair and shrugged it on. I pushed a handful of disholvled hair out of my face as I made my way to the adjacent room where the newest addition to our family lay. Little Cria Marie Smith. Born only eight hours before. I had no idea childbirth could have so much stress on a man.
Pocahontas had complained to me earlier in the day that she was beginning to develop pains. Thinking it was from something that she had eaten, I ignored it. She was only eight months along. Plenty of time before the child was to come. I thought nothing of the possibility of an early arrival. The pains eventually subsided and we went on with our daily activities. I was on my way to the small general store down the road to pick up some supplies for my next voyage. The king had been gracious enough to give me a leave of absence while
Pocahontas was expecting and also for six months after our child was born. Time necessary for my help with whatever she needed while I was with her. I had no idea that the precious time would pass so quickly.
While I was browsing through their supply, Nakoma had come running frantically into the shop, shouting my name at the top of her lungs. My head had shot up from the display of candies I was looking at. Pocahontas had developed a liking to them and I was planning to surprise her with a few, sort of a peace offering for this morning. She had been particularly moody lately, everyone said it was from the pregnancy. I hoped them were right.
Nakoma rushed to my side, grabbed my arm and began pulling me toward the shop's entrance. "Nakoma!." I said sharply, "What in the heavens is wrong with you?" Panting, she had answered me. "It's Pocahontas. She's gone into labor." My jaw had dropped. "That's impossible! She's not due for another month!." Nakoma had chuckled to herself. "It's not as if she had any control over this, John. When a child decides, it wants to make it's entrance, we had just better be ready."
Not caring about anything else, I dropped my purchases back onto the counter. "I'll be back." I yelled to Jones, the shop owner. He had knew what was going on, so he had merely nodded and smiled. I grabbed Nakoma's arm. "Let's go."
Let's let mama sleep tonight
You've only been home one day
You don't even know your name
I entered Cria's room to hear her sharp squeal. It had to have been the storm that awakened her. Then again, I heard the newborns rarely sleep through the night until they reached about five months of age. I prayed it wouldn't wake her mother. Pocahontas had been through so much. The woman deserved some rest.
I had rushed into the cabin, Nakoma on my heels. My precious wife lay on the floor, hand on her abdomen, eyes squeezed shut. I had rushed to her side and taken her free hand in mine. "I'm here, my love." I whispered. "You'll be fine." It was then she opened her eyes and stared me in the face. "The child is coming, John." she said. "We have nothing prepared." I leaned down to kiss her forehead. "We will be fine. The child will have enough love to make up for what is missing. We already have the cradle from mymother and Thomas made you that beautiful rocking chair. That will suffice for now."
She had nodded and replaced her eyelids, clenching her teeth against the pain. After a few moments, the contraction subsided and she relaxed her grip on my hand. Nakoma offered her something to drink, which she gratefully accepted, while I helped her into a sitting position. Nakoma glanced up at me. "John, we might be here awhile. Why don't you go find Thomas to keep you company.
I looked at the woman as if she had just told me to jump off a cliff. Leave my wife? Now? She needed me more now than ever right now. Nakoma must have read my mind. "Relax, John." She had said. "Your being here will only make it more stressful for the both of you. I already have one patient on my hands. I don't need a knocked out husband on my hands as well." she added with a smile. I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up a hand. "Go." I glanced over at my wife, who now sat up. "Nakoma's right." she said softly. "It would be better if you just-." She cried out in pain as another contraction over took her. I rushed to her side, but Nakoma shook her head. "John, GO!."
Walking out of that room was one of the hardest things that I had ever done in my life. My wife was in there! The one who I had promised to stand beside and protect at all costs. And now I was being forced to leave her. I walked into our living room, pacing the length of the cabin while thinking of what I could do. Nakoma had told me to fetch Thomas, but then I remembered that he and Linda were going to visit his parents. They had recently came to Jamestown on a ship, considering moving here. He had told me that they would stop by sometime during the day, but that probably wouldn't be until later.
I heard Pocahontas's anguished screams coming from the next room and it was all I could do not to rush in beside her. Instead I planted myself on a chair and made myself sit and try to think of other things. A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. "Come on in." I called out, to distracted to get up myself. The door opened and Thomas walked in, carrying his daughter, Fiona on his shoulders. The little girl squealed with delight as her father swung her down. "Go see Uncle John." he coaxed. I held out my arms as Fiona toddled toward me. Just before she fell on one wobbly step, I lifted her into my arms and swung her in circles in the air before placing her on my lap.
Thomas stood up and watched as his daughter cuddled close. "She likes you." I smirked back. "Of course she does. I spoil her rotten." Thomas laughed. "That you do. She probably won't like it when you child is born. Isn't Pocahontas due anytime now?" A scream from the side room startled us both. "She's in labor as we speak." I murmured softly. Thomas glanced toward the room. "Nakoma's with her." I volunteered the information. He nodded. "Linda should be along. She stopped back at the cabin to change. It appears that Fiona had a bit of and accident with the peas at her grandmas." He ruffled his daughter's red hair.
At that moment, Nakoma appeared in to doorway. "John, you might want to come in. It's almost time."
Tiny hand on my cheek
You're a miracle to me
I had handed Fiona back to her father as I followed Nakoma into the side room. My wife lay in a pool of sweat, her head back and teeth clenched trying to ignore the pain that was overcoming her. I reached her side and took her hand in mine. "It's alright, my love." I said. "I'm here now."
She opened her eyes and instead of her usual calm gaze, she was glaring at me when she saw me. "You did this to me." she muttered. "This is all your fault." My eyes widened as I glanced over to see Thomas in the doorway, trying his best not to laugh out loud. Even Nakoma was snickering. I couldn't see the humor. "Don't take any of it to heart, John." Nakoma told me. "Often times women who are in labor sat things they don't mean."
I said nothing, but continued to hold my wife's hand as another contraction over took her. "It's almost time." Nakoma said. "I can see a head." The next few moments were almost as if in a blur. Nakoma urged Pocahontas to push as hard as she could. As she was pushing, she was also squeezing my hand. I winced several times and was afraid at one point that she had broken my fingers.
After about ten minutes, I heard the cry of my child for the first time. Pocahontas slumped back against me, completely exhausted. I pressed my forehead to hers. "I'm so proud of you." I whispered to her. She smiled and ran a hand down my face. "John, Pocahontas. Congratulations. You have a brand new baby daughter." Nakoma said as she placed the bundle in Pocahonts's arms.
The day had been stressful and wonderful at the same time. Linda had shown up not much longer after the birth and just about cried as she held little Cria Marie Smith. Even Fiona was curious of her new little friend. As I now stood in her room later that night, I saw she was fussing. I reached my face down to her's and spoke softly to her. "Don't cry little one." She reached up a pudgy arm and grasped at my face, her hand catching my cheek once. I lifted my new daughter into my arms and sat down in the rocking chair next to her cradle.
In the stillness of the night
Cradled in this rocking chair
I hold all my hopes and dreams,
Every single answered prayer
Cria started to fuss as I rocked her. I heard my wife moving around in the next room. I smiled. She was never very quiet when she slept. I only prayed that she wouldn't awaken. She had spent the entire day after Cria was born playing with her and caring for her. Her maternal instincts had taken over.
I realized that I held my future in my arms right now. She was the answer to all my dreams and prayers. I had a family, small as it may be. I knew that I must treasure this time. She would grow so fast. No matter how old she became, I would always be her father.
In my arms
Wish I could hold you forever
In my arms
I will give you shelter
I wished with all my heart, I could hold her forever. there were so many things that she didn't understand. She was so small. To her, the world was such a large place, except for her world. Even though she was only hours old, she knew Pocahontas and myself. Mama and Papa. Her parents. She knew that we were her providers. Pocahontas as her mother, to provide love and care. As her father, it was my job to protect her.
Still I know I can't always be there
To protect you from this great big old world
But I swear this much is true
There'll always be a place for you...in my arms
I sighed as I continued to rock her. I knew that as much as I wanted to, I couldn't protect her forever. She would grow up. All children do. I chuckled to myself. I only hoped she wouldn't be like me. I had been a rebel ever since I turned thirteen. If only my friends could see me now. they thought that I would never settle down. How wrong they were.
I shifted in the chair, which startled my daughter and she let out a howl. I quickly shushed her the best I could, making sure Pocahontas was still asleep. I settled back and resumed rocking her. I might not be able to protect her, but I could be there for her. When she did fall, I would be there to pick her up again. When she needed me, my arms would be open for her.
As I watch you take each breathe
Oh, it scares me to death
To know you're counting on me
To be the daddy that you need
My eyes shot open and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was now responsible for a human life! I didn't know one thing about children! And now I was expected to raise one! I looked down to the small bundle in my arms. Bright blue eyes, so much like my own stared back at me. This was my future. Cria, Pocahontas and whatever other children we were blessed with. Yet I was responsible.
I sighed deeply. I had no earthly idea how to raise a family. My own father had left when I was ten, leaving my mother with four mouths to feed besides herself. My older brother, James to over the family, becoming the man of the house, yet I never considered him a father figure, the reason probably being that he was only two years my senior. I allowed my head to fall back against the chair. My eyes closed as sleep drifted over me. Please, I prayed silently. Show me what to do.
Wounded knees, broken hearts
Learning how to drive a car
When it's time for you first date
Will I know just what to say
"SHE WHAT!" My wife glanced over at me as I paced the length of our kitchen. "She has a young man coming, John. He has asked to court her." "And you let her go without talking to me first!" I bellowed. "Well, she can just tell him that-" Pocahontas hand came over my mouth. "She's sixteen, John. This is only her first outing." She laughed. "Some girls in my tribe are married and have children by now."
She removed her hand and I continued on my rampage. "Well, she's not part of your tribe, now is she?" I said. "She's not going anywhere." My wife glared at me, hands on her hips. "She growing up, John." she said. "You have to accept that." Before I could answer, Cria came bounding out of her bedroom, her long black hair flowing behind her. "Hi Mama, Papa," she said, kissing us both. "I'll be back later."
"Just a moment." I said, an edge to my voice. "Where do you think you're going?" Cria looked confused. "To meet Jacob. Mama said I could go." she pointed a finger toward Pocahontas. "Well, your mother failed to mention it to me." I huffed. Cria's eyes grew pleading. "But, Papa, I."
I stood to my full height. "Cria, you are sixteen years old! Too young to be courting!." Cria crossed her arms over her chest. "But some of my friends from Mama's home are already married. Kaya is even expecting her first child and she's only a year older than I am." I threw my hands up in frustration. "What is it with you to and the girls of the tribe?" I exclaimed. "That's it, you're not going." I sat back down. "John.." Pocahontas said, a warning in her voice
I knew better than to ignore that. "Fine, but be home by 7:30." "Papa, that's' only an hour from now!" I shrugged. 'You could not go at all." Cria turned to Pocahontas. "Mama," "The warning came again. "John." I sighed. 'Fine. 9. No later. Do you understand." Cria squealed and hugged me. "Thank you Papa! I'll see you later!." She hugged her mother before running out the door. I looked to my wife. "When did she get to be so old.?" Pocahontas smiled and kissed me softly. "They do grow up fast, don't they. I nodded as I placed my arms around her. "That they do."
And when you find that one true love
I'll put on my best smile
And I'll try to hide my tears
As I walk you down the aisle
I knocked softly on the door to my daughter bedroom before turning and waiting for an answer. I couldn't believe the day had finally come. My little girl was getting married. The door opened and Pocahontas stepped out. "Is she ready?" I asked. She nodded. "Are you?" I sighed as I hugged her. "A father is never ready to see his daughter depend on another man." Pocahontas smiled and softly kissed me before leaving me to escort my daughter.
I pushed open the door to her room. She stood in front of the full length mirror, twirling in her white satin gown. "Hi princess." I said softly. She turned and her eyes lit up when she saw me. Pap!." she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! I'm getting married! This is the happiest day of my life!" I smiled as I watched her eyes dance. She was a woman in every sense, but to me, she would always be my baby.
"I can't believe it either." I said. "I remember when you were first born. I held you the entire first night while your mother slept. Time passes so fast." My eyes were beginning to mist and I made no attempt to hide it. Cria saw it to. "Oh, Papa." She came to me and hugged me. I held to me tightly. "Just remember." I said.. "No matter how old you are, you will always be my little girl."
Cria's eyes began to well up with tears as well. "I know." She said. "Just as you will always be my Papa. Nothing could ever take your place in my heart. I love you." My tears were flowing freely now. "I love you too, baby." I said. "Now," I said wiping my eyes, "Let's go get you hitched." She laughed at my attempt at humor and took my arm.
We reached the end of the aisle and I saw her fiancé. Jacob. The same young man that had been her first courting experience. Four years later, they were about to become man and wife. Cria squeezed my arm as I sighed deeply. I saw Pocahontas watching from the side, tears in her own eyes. As we began the walk toward the front, I realized that my little girl was on my arm instead of in them like that night so many years ago.
In my arms
Wish I could hold you forever
In my arms
I will give you shelter
Still I know I can't always be there
To protect you from this great big old world
But I swear this much is true
There'll always be a place for you...in my arms
"John?" A soft voice called me out of my sleep. "John, wake up." I opened my eyes to see Pocahontas standing over me. She looked at me with concern. "are you alright? You fell sleep." I was coherent enough to realize I was still holding something in my arms. That's when I realized. The courting, the wedding. It was all a dream. I still had my precious daughter right where she belonged.
I shifted again. "The storm woke Cria up. I was trying to get her back to sleep." My wife smiled. 'It looks like you succeeded." I looked down. My daughter was fast asleep, curled up into a tiny ball. I rose and placed her back in the cradle. Pocahontas came to stand beside me. "We're parents now." she whispered. I glanced back to her. "Scary thought, isn't it." She laughed. "Not really. If we can handle all the obstacles that we've already come through, this should be easy." I laughed as I kissed her brow. "We are blessed." She nodded. "We are, aren't we."
I nodded in agreement. My wife yawned and pulled me toward the room. "Come on," she said. "We both need sleep if we want to raise her right." I yawned suit. "I would have to agree, but I'm setting one rule right now." Pocahontas glanced over at me. "What is that?" "She is not courting until she's thirty." I said matter-of-factly. She sighed. "John." "What? I'm not having her get hurt at a young age." My wife shook her head. "Get some sleep John. We have plenty of time to worry about that." She went back into the room as I gazed down at my daughter one last time. 'I promise you this, little one." I whispered. "Your papa will always have a place for you right here in my arms and you will always have a place in my heart."
Oh, this promise I will keep
As you finally fall asleep...in my arms
