Edmund and Susan screamed bloody murder. "That's the Devil's number upside down! It goes against all blatantly Christian symbolism book series!"
Jake and Harry rolled their eyes and strolled in, followed by the others. Rand finally had to drag the two siblings in.
It all seemed vaguely familiar.
A man sat reading his newspaper across from a giant fan. He looked up as they entered and moaned. "Not again."
"What?" Ender asked. "You have people coming here a lot looking for hamburgers?"
"Haven't you died of radiation to the brain yet?" the man asked tiredly.
"What do you mean?" Edmund asked. "We've never been here before."
"Damn it," the man muttered. "Fine. Just because I'm sick of you coming in here." He pulled out his walkie-talkie. "J, they're back. Yeah, the hamburger morons. Yeah, I'm sick of them to. So you're okay with bringing them up, giving them the hamburger, and sending them on their way?"
Our Heroes were very confused. But when J arrived, looking very annoyed, they just shrugged and followed.
They stepped into an elevator that went up very high. They were very strange looking people, but not enough to make our heroes too concerned; they had all seen much weirder.
Except for Jim. He pointed, stared, and gawked like a naïve little idiot. "Wow! That lady has three legs! Do you think she's Olga's sister? Maybe she got involved in some nuclear fission problem! Maybe that's what the guy was talking about with brain radiation? Do you think we'll grow extra toes?"
Susan got a worried look on her face, then shook her head. "Nah. Not possible."
Finally, J let them off the elevator. The roof was kind of crowded. Between the sunbathers, the alien ships, and the picketers, there wasn't much room to get around.
The picketers had signs like "I'm not an illegal alien!" "You can't make me leave!" "Ender is a mass murderer!" "Just say no to xenocide!" "Animorphs do not get involved in alien affairs!" "The Force doesn't work on me!" "If you think those fingers work on me, I got a finger for you!" and, Harry's personal favorite "Earth should be destroyed to make way for an environmentally safe highway!"
Luke and Ender were very offended, and just glad Jake wasn't there.
Our heroes looked around the crowd. It was tall in many places, so Luke used the Force to raise Jim above the crowd to look for the Sketchers box. Many aliens booed.
Jim squealed and pointed. "Look at the guy! What a freak! Oh, and that!"
On the other end, across from where they stood, there was a huge, alter-like box, on which were stationed several glowing Sketchers shoeboxes. It was a like a scene from that Indiana Jones movie. In fact, Harrison Ford was nearby with hot alien chicks. He was telling them about the time he drove the Millennium Falcon.
Luke shook his head. If only he knew the truth. Stupid movie star profiting from real life.
So they made their way to the Sketchers alter. There they met a short little guy standing in front of a police line.
"Hey, you're even shorter than Yoda!" Jim said, once again pointing and gawking.
The policeman scowled. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what is your quest?"
"To find the hamburger!" they shouted in unison.
"Choose wisely. For all but one of the hamburgers are whole. And poisoned. Only the half-eaten one is safe and edible! But you must choose by the appearance of the boxes. For the glory of the hamburgers will burn out your eyes! For they are holy, and were made by Ronald McDonald. The Ronald McDonald. Only the half-eaten one is safe, for it was defiled by one called… Gandalf the Grey. Dude, I hope they threw him in the loony boon. And beware, for you can only choose one. But if you really want to choose more than one, you must sacrifice a group member."
They all pushed Harry off the building.
The man shook his head. "Not that kind of sacrifice. But what they hey, I'll let it pass. I'm in a good mood. Though that does mean extra red tape. So at least attempt to pick the right box, so you can save me some paper work. You may ask me twenty questions."
Rand prepared to ask him the obvious question of which box was the correct one, but Jim was quicker.
"Are you really the guy that guards the sacred hamburger-filled Sketchers boxes?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Twenty questions later…
"Really?"
"Yes. You have finished your questions."
"We picked the wrong sacrifice," Edmund muttered.
Susan screamed and flung herself at Jim. She missed, and knocked Frodo into the pile of boxes.
The balance was disturbed. The earth shook, and the building swayed as though possessed by a large earthquake. The aliens shrieked. Several fell off the building.
Luke muttered good riddance, and Ender giggled in glee.
Luckily, the one Sketchers box that flew open in the scuffle was the correct one.
Susan picked up the hamburger and sniffed. "Still smells okay." She put it in her pocket. "Okay, great job, guys. Our quest has been completed. Let's get all this stuff back to Gandalf."
So they returned to the community center and presented their stuff to Yoda for approval.
Yoda frowned at their choice of book. "Again crap this is! Sick am I of this! So tell you the correct book I will! Pride and Prejudice it is!"
Everyone stared at Luke. The idiot savant was right. Jake bit him again.
"Go and get the book back!" they all screamed.
He slumped from the community center.
"But we did get the hamburger," Edmund said. "Susan, why don't you show it to him?"
Susan pulled out the wrapper. "Where did it go!" she said in a voice of fake surprise. "Rand, did you eat it?"
Rand looked shocked. "No! I only eat vending machine food! And Jack-in-the-Box! I wouldn't touch McDonalds! The girls would kill me; it's against my diet."
"I thought you ate everything," Jim said.
"Not everything, just most things. But they say McDonalds' makes my breath stink. But I promise I didn't eat it. If we think about this logically, who had it? Not me. But Susan! Susan has been complaining she has been hungry for the past two days! In fact, I haven't heard her stomach growl since we left that building."
Susan tried to run for it, but they all jumped her.
"How could you?" Edmund cried. "You are my sister, but you betrayed us! Again!"
Susan glared at him. "Look who's talking! Betrayal! I didn't take up with the Snow Queen!"
Edmund shut up. She was right. She always was. Stupid older sister. Why couldn't she be more like Lucy?
"Okay," said Ender, in the calmest voice he could. "We have to fix this. I don't think they'll let us back in that building, and even we could, we'll have to make another sacrifice. So, we'll just buy one. It's not like Gandalf won't know the difference between a McDonald's hamburger and McDonalds' hamburger, right? Let's pool our money."
They came up with a total of fifty-seven cents, some gum, Rand's credit card, a tiara, and a death ray. Apparently their pocket of endless money in random situations was not working. They handed Ender back his death ray.
"You shouldn't show that off," Rand advised. "Someone might think it's illegal."
Ender shrugged and put it back in his pocket. "Okay, your loss."
They wouldn't give Jim back his tiara. In fact, he didn't ask for it. Then they realized it belonged to Frodo.
Susan put it on her head. "I feel pretty!" she sang.
"You do," said Frodo. "But that won't buy us a hamburger. So give it back."
At which point Jim looked at it strangely and thought "Is that mine?"
Finally, it was agreed that they would use Rand's credit card to buy the hamburger. Once again leaving Jake behind, our heroes set out for the nearest McDonalds.
They asked for a double cheeseburger from the dollar menu. And a parfait for Susan.
But, horror of horrors, Rand's credit card was declined.
He fell to his knees and cried to the heavens. "Why! Why! Why must I always be broke?"
They shooed from the store.
"What are we doing to do?" Frodo asked.
Susan suggested that Frodo go garbage dumpster diving. He refused.
Then Jim smiled. "Hey, if Luke can steal the greatest piece of classical literature there is, any of us can steal a hamburger!"
The others looked at him. For once, Jim was talking sense.
So they all barged back into the restaurant, Ender baring his death ray. "Give us a hamburger now!"
So they got the hamburger. But they didn't make it from the shop. Mrs. Weasley, a veritable soccer mom, knocked Ender to the floor. "Look at what kind of example you are setting for these children!" she shrieked.
All the kids in the store cheered for Ender.
"If you really want a hamburger that much," Mrs. Weasley suggested. "Maybe you can work with these nice people in the shop to pay for it. Now!"
And so it came to pass that our heroes were forced to work for McDonalds.
Meanwhile, Luke was schmoozing over the new shop owner, the lovely Belinda, and having a moral debate over whether to steal the book again. He told Belinda he was interested in the book, batted his eyelashes. And she sold the book to him for three bucks, instead of the fifty it was worth, considering it was a late 19th-century edition.
Then he stopped at the pet store, bought some bunny food, and returned to the community center, hoping the bunny food would be a sufficient apology to his friend Jake.
It was not.
Meanwhile, Ron was selling Muggle brooms with Bean, Han, Sam, and Marco. Being that Hermione's parents were evil, and didn't of their daughter marrying a wizard instead of a nice dentist, they were having him prove his love by paying for the entire wedding. Of course Ron thought that this was just an excuse so they wouldn't pay for Hermione's extravagant taste. But, of course, they'd never be able to pay for it.
"How much money do we need?" Bean asked.
"We're looking at least a hundred thousand galleons," Ron said sadly.
"Why don't we just turn Han in?" Marco suggested.
"Yeah, I have a price on my head," Han said.
"Well, I don't think he's worth more than five bucks on this planet," Ron said, shaking his head. "Consider the inflation his bounty has been through. 'Sides, he's a nice guy. And he offered to loan me the Millennium Falcon for the honeymoon."
"Sweet!" Sam said. "I should have used that for Rosie. Do you think she'd enjoy a ride in the Millennium Falcon?"
The others nodded.
"There's got to be a better way to do this," Bean said. "Let's go to Idaho and play the lottery. We might get lucky."
"But how will we know what numbers to pick?" Sam asked.
"I took a Divination class," Ron said. "We could read tea leaves, or a crystal ball or something."
"I hear fortune cookies are good for this kind of thing," Han suggested. "You guys hungry? We could go get Chinese. Mat and I smuggled money out of Rand's line of credit. He owed all money. A lot. And we were tired of waiting."
"Aren't you worried that would have taken him over his limit?" Marcos asked.
"Nah."
So they went to get Chinese.
It had been over an hour since our heroes had begun working at McDonalds and already Ender was ready to kill everyone in the restaurant. Especially the little brats demanding Hot Wheels and Barbie Happy Meals. At least he didn't have Jim's job, who was cleaning the men's bathroom.
Edmund went in to check on him. "How's it going?"
Jim was in the corner of a stall, rocking back and forth, staring at the water in the toilet bowl in horror.
Edmund sighed. "Come on. It looks clean enough, let's go. Our hour's up."
Because of minimum wage laws, they actually all got to buy meals AND the hamburger AND Susan's parfait AND a salad for Jake. They also picked up some random things for Yoda and Dorcas, basically everything from the dollar menu. They figured they could split it up later, and if they wouldn't eat it, Rand would cheat on his diet.
But just as they were about to leave the store, they heard a crash outside. Harry, somehow alive, had crashed spread-eagled, into the golden arches.
Susan ran outside, her nurturing instincts overpowering her. "We thought you were dead! We pushed you off the building as a sacrifice! Do you want us to get a ladder?"
Gravity did its thing, and Harry and his broomstick plummeted to the ground.
"Stupid Snape possessing my broom," he muttered. "You didn't kill me, I summoned my broom on the way down."
They picked Harry off the ground and dusted him off.
"Come on," Rand said. "We got a meal inside for you. But we have to eat in the play area; the dining area's full."
So they all moved their food into the play area, profusely apologizing to Harry about knocking him off the building, Harry mumbling about Unforgivable Curses.
Then something happened. A hooded figure, shrouded in mystery, arose from the ball pit. "Step away from the wizard," it said. "I repeat, step away from the wizard."
So they did. Harry panicked. Who was this strange man?
His question was answered.
"I am Schmendrick! The most powerful wizard you will ever meet! And my buddy Prince Lear claims that you killed the last unicorn!" Schmendrick sniffed and pulled out a hankie. "She was my friend! I… I saved her once! Wasn't a very good save. But enough with the crying. Prepare to be dispatched!"
Harry pulled out his wand, very glad he had been thinking of the Unforgivable Curses.
But before Harry could do a thing, the fight was over. Schmendrick was mobbed by a squealing pack of 12-year olds screaming "You don't touch our Harry! We love him!"
Harry felt a swelling in his heart. He was unsure of what this feeling was, but he was pretty sure he was feeling loved. For the first time in his life, he was actually loved.
So they all skipped happily back to the community center where they found Jake and Luke playing video games. Jake was winning. They were all impressed, as Jake had only bunny paws and no opposable thumbs. Then again, they were playing Dance Dance Revolution on pads.
Susan squealed at how cute the sight was. Dorcas was cooing as well.
"Look how he hops!" they sang.
Gandalf strolled into the room. "So, you guys finish your quest yet?"
"Yes!" Luke said. "Here! Here's all the stuff!"
And they pulled out all items, including Dorcas, who was offended at being called stuff.
"See?" said Rand. "We have a princess. Her name is Dorcas, by the way. And she's technically a Child-like Empress. But we figured it was close enough."
Gandalf snickered at her name. Dorcas looked confused.
"And we have the bunnies, and the book, and a cat and a hat in one book."
Gandalf raised an eyebrow at that one, but decided to let it go. He should have been more specific. His fault.
"And a weapon in the form of a can of Pam that should work once we get it fixed. Frodo broke it. And the hamburger, and the One Ring."
"And here all the five golden rings," Frodo said, handing them over in a egg-shaped plastic vending machine package.
"And Jim and I nearly got eaten by the little old lady we helped across the street," said Ender. "Want a cookie?"
Gandalf took one cautiously, wondering if it was poisoned. "What kind of little old lady eats people?"
"She said her name was Ooga Booga or Babe Ruth or something," Jim said, shrugging.
"And we planted a tree." They failed to mention it was not on Arbor Day. "And the dead wolf is in the fridge."
Gandalf stared. "And?"
"And what?"
"Did you get the ghosts I asked for?"
"What ghosts?" Edmund asked.
Gandalf sighed. "The ones on the list, dummy!"
They all looked at Frodo. He pulled out the original, elf-scripted list. "Number 13: 13 ghosts. Eh, sorry guys. I guess I couldn't get past the One Ring." Frodo then passed out again.
Gandalf sighed. "Go get the ghosts. I'll be ready when you get back."
"But where are we going to get the ghosts?" Rand asked.
"I don't know. You figure it out."
Jake hopped over to the box of video games and pulled one out with his teeth. It was The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
"That's right!" Edmund said. "Link knows how to catch ghosts! Let's go bug Link!"
Susan stared. "You mean Link really exists!"
"'Course he does! We all do! Susan, he lives in the cul-de-sac with us! With Zelda!"
"Oh yeah! So that's who the nice couple who lives across the street from us is! We really should start going to the block parties."
"Maybe he has some to spare," Harry mused. "Let's go!" So the woke up Frodo and proceeded to Zelda and Link's house.
"Trick-or-Treat!" they all yelled.
Zelda came to the door. "My my! Is it Halloween already? You all have such scary costumes!"
"Not really," said Edmund. "It's not Halloween, we're just here to see Link."
"How do you know my husband?"
"I play his video games all the time! And we live across the street!"
"Oh yeah!" Zelda smiled. "We steal your morning newspaper! Honey! Can you pull yourself away from Evercrack long enough to chat with the neighbors?"
Link came, unshaven and looking very bored, to the door. "Yeah? Whaddya want? I'm in the middle of an RP, so can you hurry?"
"We need to borrow some ghosts," Jim said.
"How many? We keep them bottled up downstairs. Great for parties. You know, you could have just asked Zelda about this. She's down there cleaning more often than I am. I don't even know where she keeps them anymore. Which is pathetic, since I have to sleep down there have the time!"
Somewhere in the house came a wailing baby.
Zelda shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "Link, why don't you take these nice folks down to the basement, get them their ghosts while I take care of your child, and get back up here and help me for once! Sometimes I think you expect me to do everything."
"Yeah, well, I have to go out everyday and work for the man slaying monsters and battling evil in order to provide our family with a moderately nice life and those stupid chickens that chase me all the time! I'm the one paying the bills! And don't even get me started on that Ganondorf crap!"
"So you're whining about money right after you and bought that fancy new boat without telling me? It's not like you need it any way! It's not like you don't have the best equipment in the world!"
Link threw up his hands. "Do you have any idea how much time and money it took to track down all the crystals to save the world so you could have this year's anniversary present? Besides at least I haven't taken to piracy."
"You were a week late!" Zelda shrieked.
"After chopping down all those bushes to gather money? I'm not a shrubbier, Zelda, I'm a hero, damn it!"
Susan whispered to Frodo "Go get down and get the ghosts. I don't want to stay here in any longer."
So Frodo crept past the arguing married couple to the basement.
It was a like a castle dungeon down there. Complete with castle monsters. Apparently the basement wasn't kept up as nicely as the upstairs. This had to be Link's domain. There was even a fold-out couch. If that was what married life was, he wasn't sure he wanted it anymore.
The ghosts were against the wall, next to the dryer and the two-year supply of food. He began to gather up thirteen ghosts, one of each color. Sometimes two or three. He was just turning to leave when the monster struck…
Upstairs the other heroes heard thumping. The married couple was too busy arguing to listen, and it looked like Zelda had gone for a knife.
"Uh-oh," said Jim. "We should go see what's up."
"Well, someone needs to stay up here so they don't know we're gone," Rand said. "Ender, Jim. You're little, you go."
The boys were back in three seconds, ashen faced.
"Frodo!" Ender gasped. "He's…. He's… I think he's dead, guys!"
"Did he have any fairies down there?" Edmund asked. "The fairies will work."
Jim shook his head sadly. "I didn't see Wayne down there."
"Not those kind!"
Susan gasped. "Frodo!" She ran down the stairs, heart beating wildly inside of her. Not Frodo. Never Frodo!
There was blood everywhere. Or ketchup. Frodo was propped up against a shelf, clutching jars of ghosts, bleeding profusely.
"FRODO!" Susan cried. She held him in her arms, sobbing. "I'm sorry, Frodo. I never realized…"
Harry wandered down as discreetly as he could, scanning the shelves for fairies. All he could see where a case of ketchup bottles next to Frodo's head. But above came the gentle glowing light of a bottle of fairy. Carefully, he released the fairy, praying for a miracle.
It zoomed down, took one look at Frodo, shook its head, and climbed back into the bottle.
Susan wailed even louder. "My poor Frodo, I never told you how I felt!"
Frodo opened his eyes. "How do you feel?"
She smacked him.
"It's a miracle!" Ender shouted, coming down. "Hallelujuah, man!"
They carried the dazed but slightly happy Frodo upstairs along with the ghosts. Zelda and Link were in the kitchen now, throwing dishes at each other. At least, that's what it sounded like. The baby by now had cried his self back to sleep.
Susan leaned over to Edmund. "Maybe we should call social services. Or at least the police."
Edmund shook his head. "Nah, I'm sure they'll make up in a few hours, if you know what I mean."
Once they had left the cul-de-sac, they heaved a collective sigh, and headed back to the community center.
Yoda, Gandalf, Dorcasm and Jake were waiting at the community center playing DDR. Jake was winning, again. Gandalf looked a little tweeked because he used to be the DDR grand master, but no longer was. He blamed age and osteoporosis.
"We're back!" Edmund screamed as he ran in waving the thirteen bottles of ghosts. It had been his Zelda geek dream come true.
"It's about freaking time!" Gandalf yelled, ripping the DDR mat from the wall.
Somehow, even without the mat, Jake was still winning. "So you finally got the ghosts, and Pride and Prejudice. Man, I love that book. I especially like the end when Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy finally get it together. I hear they have a really nice house in England somewhere. I think I'll go visit them after this."
"I have a question," Harry asked. "You said this was quest therapy. I think I still have issues."
"Me too," the others echoed.
"And Jake too, especially Jake," Jim interjected. "What kind of sick alien race comes up with technology that only lets you change for two hours before rendering you in that same form for the rest of eternity?"
"Stupid Andalites," Luke added under his breath.
" So you want more therapy, huh? I'll show you more therapy! Dorcas! Bring forth the hotplate and the pan of doom!"
Dorcas stared at him, bewildered. "Huh?"
"Dorcas, over there in the corner. The hot plate. No, the one with the pan on it stupid!See? This is why we needed a princess. But no! You had to get a child-like empress. With a child like brain!"
Dorcas chucked both items directly at Gandalf's head. "CATCH!"
Fortunately for Gandalf, he was a wizard, and had great and masterful powers at his beck and call. After a sleek, Matrix-style dodge, he simply made them hover in the air, after Yoda had deflected them with the force. Dorcas swore loudly. The others gasped. Yoda went to reclaim his quarter from the jar.
Gandalf set up the hotplate and the pan and began putting the items they had gathered into the pan. All except the hamburger and the copy of Pride and Prejudice, which he saved for his later enjoyment. The first item was the book The Cat in the Hat. Susan mumbled something about library fines. Ender reminded her that the library had burned down, thanks to Luke.
Next he told Dorcas to fetch him three of the snow-white bunnies. He gave them kisses and cuddles as he broke their necks and tossed them into the pan, where they continued to writhe. Ender shielded Jake's eyes with one hand.
Gandalf then ordered Dorcas to fetch a pail of water. When she whined about it, he threatened to harm Yoda. She laughed in his face, after all the force is stronger than magic.Yoda reminded her that he was a pacifist, and asked her to please do as the crazy wizard said.
"What do you need water for? And why didn't you just ask for dead bunnies? They would have been much easier to get." Rand inquired.
"Because we likes them fresh and wriggling…Um…I mean I needed them to be extremely fresh…Um…yeah…that's it."
When Dorcas returned with the water, Gandalf shouted, "Bring forth the five golden rings!" Dorcas handed him the plastic eggs with the five knock off golden rings from the vending machine. Gandalf looked at them and sighed. The potion wouldn't be as potent without real gold, but it should still be enough.
Next he called for the weapon for defeating evil. Dorcas handed him the Pam bottle. Gandalf broke it open and emptied the contents into the pan. "Who's defeating evil now?" Gandalf cackled as pink sparkly smoke billowed from the pan. It was like a bad Barbie crack dream.
"Where's Baba Yaga?" Gandalf asked.
"Oh, we were supposed to help her across this street?" Ender and Jim looked very confused, and a little upset for having failed their portion of the quest.
Gandalf sighed and picked up his cell phone.
"Why did you send incompetent fools to help me across the street! You Idiot!" Gandalf held the phone away from his ear as more such screeches emanated from it.
"Well, I guess Dorcas will have to do," Gandalf sighed again as he pushed the end button.
It was time to extricate the wolf from the freezer. Our heroes struggled desperately to remove the wolf from his position next to the ice cream. Five hours and a blowtorch later, small chunks of the wolf were being tossed into the pan.
Next Gandalf tossed the One Ring into the pot. This was the key ingredient. It was the thing that would power its dark purpose. Gandalf laughed evilly.
"And now, the final ingredient! The thirteen ghosts!"
"Uh, Gandalf?" Susan asked, "What exactly is this supposed to do? And why didn't you put in the hamburger or Pride and Prejudice?"
"Cause I was hungry, had left my hamburger up there, and this is a good book. Besides, it will be pretty lonely for me once this potion is done."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I'm going to solve your problems with this little potion. He he he. Then you won't have to worry any more. It'll all be taken care of with magic. Isn't it great?"
The heroes relaxed. Except for Ender. He knew this wasn't part of the program. After all, he'd been through it before. A few times. But now he was better, and was only there to help the others. But this was not part of the plan. Something had gone horribly wrong. Gandalf had gone off the deep end. Again! He pulled out his cell phone and began dialing The Number. He moved off to the hallway where he wouldn't be disturbed or overheard.
Meanwhile, the other heroes watched expectantly as Gandalf stirred his brew. It smelled really bad. Like soggy books and burnt bunnies, with a metallic tang and that nasty stench of melting plastic. But this was magic. It wasn't supposed to smell good.
They all turned to the sound of doors slamming. They could hear the creak of wheels moving toward the vending machine. They all knew what that meant. Dennis. The vending machine re-fill guy. At that point it became a mad dash to see who could make it to the vending machine before Rand emptied it. Dorcas grabbed the swear jar, hitting the pan on her way past and spilling it's contents all over the floor. A wail filled the room.
"NOOOOOOOO! I was going to destroy you all! Now all I have are pot holes in the community center floor and burn marks clear through Pride and Prejudice!" Gandalf's screams followed them into the hall, but no one cared. They had the munchies and they had to beat Rand if they were going to get anything.
Just as our heroes had finally cleared out the vending machines, Neville and Snape came sauntering through the door, sporting their new white coats. They had only just gotten them yesterday from their new jobs at Happy Acres Giggle Farm. After a long a tearful conversation, they had put aside their differences and become partners to remove all the nutso people from the streets.
"Your response time is lagging." Ender yelled at them. "Last time I called Happy Acres it only took about ten seconds for them to show up.
Neville shrugged. "Give us a break, we're new at this."
"You'll never take me alive!" Gandalf screamed as he streaked into the hall wearing nothing but his hat.
Our heroes gasped in horror as they finally understood why they called Gandalf the white wizard.
"Come on," said Snape, "it's macaroni and cheese night."
"Yeah, we'll even give you a Popsicle if you come now," Neville chimed in.
"Ohhh, Popsicles." Gandalf sat down docilely.
"Hey Yoda, why didn't you call us?" Snape asked the little green man.
"Find him yourself you should. My job it is not."
"Why is it that he does this every time we let him out? Maybe we should just keep him this time." Neville mused. "I'm sick and tired of finding him trying to blow up people."
"But I thought you just started this job," Harry piped in.
"I'm just repeating what my boss always says about him. Besides, Snape used to work at Melody Meadows Home for the Criminally Insane, but it mysteriously exploded three month ago. I wonder if there is a connection."
"Nah" everyone said together.
So they wrapped up Gandalf in a hug-yourself jacket and off he went to his new home in solitary confinement. It would be all right, cause he would get the padded walls and everything.
And once again, our heroes were without a therapist. Yoda pulled out the rest of Mat's cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper and threw them a DDR party.
"Come back next week you should. Find a new therapist I will." Yoda picked up his cell phone and dialed Gondor.
Aragorn answered and laughed evilly from his throne. Ruling the world of men had gotten rather tedious. This would be fun.
This would be the end, except that we also plan to do Ron and Hermione's wedding, so be on the look-out for that!
amieken: Since you brought it up, no, Jake will probably not remain a bunny. But in Animorphs terminology, he is now a nothlit—trapped in a morph.
Frosty Pickle Juice: The problem is that we're both leaving for the semester.
hydraspit: See? It's Rand's fault, everything with the girls!
Lady Kazaana: I think Rand's in his early twenties…
Lady Meriadoc: Thanks!
Pscho Faerie: Thanks!
xPussyWIllowKittenx: Pam is a kind of cooking spray. And yes, Rand's credit card won't last long.
