Disclaimer: we do not own Harry Potter or Alias…sadly.
a/n: thanks to our first three reviewers. We'd say your names, but fan fiction is down for the moment…so we can't. we hope you like this new chapter!
If you don't understand this story, don't feel bad, we know it's weird, but we just have so much fun writing it.
p.s. there's a lot of inside jokes in this chapter, so bear with us.
IMPORTANT NOTE: THERE ARE OotP SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER…BEWARE!!!! BEWARE!
Chapter 2: Some Heartthrob Teachers
0
"Are you pulling my dick?" they heard a long drawling voice say.
"I always knew he was different, but I never knew he was that different," said Ron, as he, Harry, and Hermione walked down the hallway of the Hogwarts Express.
They found an empty compartment at the back of the train, and they all sat down, sighing in exhaustion.
"Does anyone know who the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is this year?" asked Harry.
"No idea," answered Ron. "As long as it's not that Umbridge woman again."
"If it is, I'm getting back on the train," said Harry, glancing down at the scar permanently etched on his hand.
Suddenly, they heard the low, drawling voice coming up the hallway. The gang silenced themselves, wanting to avoid a confrontation.
"…She wouldn't let go of me, so I told her I needed to go home so I could pull the prickers out. She let go of me pretty fast, I can tell you that much."
Hermione giggled, her hand over her mouth to stifle the noise.
The rest of the ride passed quickly with Hermione reading, and Harry and Ron discussing Quidditch tactics.
0
They all sat in the Great Hall, anxiously awaiting the Sorting Hat's song, so they could finish the ceremony and eat. Harry watched as a line of anxious looking first-years ambled across the stage. The children watched, dumbfounded, as McGonagall put the Sorting Hat on the stool.
"I may not be too pretty--
My flaps are tagged and worn;
But I'm the smartest hat of all,
I'll make your decisions so you won't be torn.
There are 4 great houses I suggest--
Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff.
So put me on, I'll tell you which is best.
I'm good at that kind of stuff.
If you're true and brave,
If knowledge is a bore,
If the poor you'd rather save,
Then you're a Gryffindor.
If you're smart and wise,
If you feel you're bound by law,
If you seek truth behind the lies,
Join us in Ravenclaw.
If you're mischievous and cunning,
If you think niceties are a sin,
If you're not to into sunning,
Congratulations! You're a Slytherin.
If you're just and loyal,
If you love friendship and fluff,
If evil sets your blood a boil,
Spend your nights in Hufflepuff.
So don't be nervous,
Don't be afraid,
Don't you sweat or swear--
You'll be fine--I'll help you through;
I'll tell you which house best suites you."
Everyone clapped as the Sorting Hat finished its song. They quieted down and watched silently as Professor McGonagall took center-stage.
"When I call your name, you will come forward and place the hat upon your head.
"Aberson, Zenia."
A tall, blonde haired girl with glasses sat down nervously on the stool.
"Gryffindor!"
Harry clapped loudly as the girl sat down at the table, blushing slightly.
"Benson, Alyse!"
"Ravenclaw!"
"Bradsley, James!"
"Slytherin!"
Harry waited somewhat impatiently for the Sorting Ceremony to be over, so he could eat. His stomach was already growling somewhat uncomfortably.
"Wendly, Brent!"
"Hufflepuff!"
'Finally,' Harry thought, 'there's only one left.'
"Yensly, Ervyene."
A petite girl with dark hair and a defiant face sat on the stool. 'Definitely a Slytherin,' Harry thought. You can imagine his surprise when the Hat yelled "Gryffindor" before it even touched her head. The girl smiled a bright smile and sat down at the end of the table with the other first years.
Dumbledore stood up, signaling silence.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome, first-years. Welcome back, everyone else. Now, before we all eat, please forgive me for my ramblings. First of all, the Forbidden Forest is exactly as it is named--that is to say, it's forbidden. No magic is to be used in the corridors between classes, and that goes for dueling as well.
"Mr. Filch has asked me to inform you that this year's list of contraband items has been extended to include Instant Swamps, Never-ending Fireworks, and Skiving Snack-boxes.
"Also, we have three new teachers in our ranks this year. They're from the U.S. and I trust that you'll make them feel very welcome. This year's new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is Sydney Bristow."
A young woman with long, brown hair stood up. There were quite a few wolf whistles from the boys, as well as some polite applause.
"Next, we have Eric Weiss. He is going to help around the grounds as Hagrid's assistant."
A man with short, dark hair and a laughing face stood up and waved jovially at the crowd.
"Finally, I'm sad to say that our History of Magic Professor--Professor Binns--crossed over this past summer. In his place, we have Michael Vaughn."
A tall, blonde haired man stood up, and literally, all hell broke loose. Quite a few girls seemed to have had a heart attack and passed out. Even Hermione seemed to be enamored with him.
'I hope he's not like Lockhart,' Harry thought, amused.
"Thank you. Now I have only three more words to say to you: Bippity! Boppoty! Boo!"
The food appeared on the table, and the feast progressed as usual.
a/n: well, we hope you liked that new chapter…
Lots of love,
Alias: Mystic
a/n: thanks to our first three reviewers. We'd say your names, but fan fiction is down for the moment…so we can't. we hope you like this new chapter!
If you don't understand this story, don't feel bad, we know it's weird, but we just have so much fun writing it.
p.s. there's a lot of inside jokes in this chapter, so bear with us.
IMPORTANT NOTE: THERE ARE OotP SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER…BEWARE!!!! BEWARE!
Chapter 2: Some Heartthrob Teachers
0
"Are you pulling my dick?" they heard a long drawling voice say.
"I always knew he was different, but I never knew he was that different," said Ron, as he, Harry, and Hermione walked down the hallway of the Hogwarts Express.
They found an empty compartment at the back of the train, and they all sat down, sighing in exhaustion.
"Does anyone know who the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is this year?" asked Harry.
"No idea," answered Ron. "As long as it's not that Umbridge woman again."
"If it is, I'm getting back on the train," said Harry, glancing down at the scar permanently etched on his hand.
Suddenly, they heard the low, drawling voice coming up the hallway. The gang silenced themselves, wanting to avoid a confrontation.
"…She wouldn't let go of me, so I told her I needed to go home so I could pull the prickers out. She let go of me pretty fast, I can tell you that much."
Hermione giggled, her hand over her mouth to stifle the noise.
The rest of the ride passed quickly with Hermione reading, and Harry and Ron discussing Quidditch tactics.
0
They all sat in the Great Hall, anxiously awaiting the Sorting Hat's song, so they could finish the ceremony and eat. Harry watched as a line of anxious looking first-years ambled across the stage. The children watched, dumbfounded, as McGonagall put the Sorting Hat on the stool.
"I may not be too pretty--
My flaps are tagged and worn;
But I'm the smartest hat of all,
I'll make your decisions so you won't be torn.
There are 4 great houses I suggest--
Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff.
So put me on, I'll tell you which is best.
I'm good at that kind of stuff.
If you're true and brave,
If knowledge is a bore,
If the poor you'd rather save,
Then you're a Gryffindor.
If you're smart and wise,
If you feel you're bound by law,
If you seek truth behind the lies,
Join us in Ravenclaw.
If you're mischievous and cunning,
If you think niceties are a sin,
If you're not to into sunning,
Congratulations! You're a Slytherin.
If you're just and loyal,
If you love friendship and fluff,
If evil sets your blood a boil,
Spend your nights in Hufflepuff.
So don't be nervous,
Don't be afraid,
Don't you sweat or swear--
You'll be fine--I'll help you through;
I'll tell you which house best suites you."
Everyone clapped as the Sorting Hat finished its song. They quieted down and watched silently as Professor McGonagall took center-stage.
"When I call your name, you will come forward and place the hat upon your head.
"Aberson, Zenia."
A tall, blonde haired girl with glasses sat down nervously on the stool.
"Gryffindor!"
Harry clapped loudly as the girl sat down at the table, blushing slightly.
"Benson, Alyse!"
"Ravenclaw!"
"Bradsley, James!"
"Slytherin!"
Harry waited somewhat impatiently for the Sorting Ceremony to be over, so he could eat. His stomach was already growling somewhat uncomfortably.
"Wendly, Brent!"
"Hufflepuff!"
'Finally,' Harry thought, 'there's only one left.'
"Yensly, Ervyene."
A petite girl with dark hair and a defiant face sat on the stool. 'Definitely a Slytherin,' Harry thought. You can imagine his surprise when the Hat yelled "Gryffindor" before it even touched her head. The girl smiled a bright smile and sat down at the end of the table with the other first years.
Dumbledore stood up, signaling silence.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome, first-years. Welcome back, everyone else. Now, before we all eat, please forgive me for my ramblings. First of all, the Forbidden Forest is exactly as it is named--that is to say, it's forbidden. No magic is to be used in the corridors between classes, and that goes for dueling as well.
"Mr. Filch has asked me to inform you that this year's list of contraband items has been extended to include Instant Swamps, Never-ending Fireworks, and Skiving Snack-boxes.
"Also, we have three new teachers in our ranks this year. They're from the U.S. and I trust that you'll make them feel very welcome. This year's new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is Sydney Bristow."
A young woman with long, brown hair stood up. There were quite a few wolf whistles from the boys, as well as some polite applause.
"Next, we have Eric Weiss. He is going to help around the grounds as Hagrid's assistant."
A man with short, dark hair and a laughing face stood up and waved jovially at the crowd.
"Finally, I'm sad to say that our History of Magic Professor--Professor Binns--crossed over this past summer. In his place, we have Michael Vaughn."
A tall, blonde haired man stood up, and literally, all hell broke loose. Quite a few girls seemed to have had a heart attack and passed out. Even Hermione seemed to be enamored with him.
'I hope he's not like Lockhart,' Harry thought, amused.
"Thank you. Now I have only three more words to say to you: Bippity! Boppoty! Boo!"
The food appeared on the table, and the feast progressed as usual.
a/n: well, we hope you liked that new chapter…
Lots of love,
Alias: Mystic
