Time was growing short. Only four days now. Four days to wrap up her existence, to settle her affairs, to come to terms with it all. Four days.

Emma sat lotus-style on her bed, staring into the darkness. This is where it had begun a few weeks ago, when the count-down had started. But that wasn't really accurate was it? The count-down had begun the moment she was born, as it did for all living beings. Her clock was just ticking faster than others. And she was lucky enough to know when the alarm was going to start ringing.

Lucky, right.

They had just returned from their trip to the Artic. After her outburst the journey back had been subdued, tense. The others had been hurt, she knew that. And she was sorry in a way, they had never meant to show a lack of faith in her. They just hated to think the worst, despite how often it tended to happen. She just worried what might happen when she wasn't there to warn them, to watch out for them. Kind of ironic as they all spent so much time looking out for her it probably never occurred to them how protective she sometimes felt. They could fight and physically prevent anyone from getting near enough to lay a blow on her, but she was the only one who could spare their souls sometimes. They'd never know how so often she would brush against their minds, easing away whatever pain she thought they couldn't…shouldn't have to bear.

It was wrong, she knew that. Taking the burden for awhile only made it that much heavier when it came back, and it was slowly changing her too. She was getting colder, less tolerant. She found it so hard to sympathise with them, with their suffering when she saw so much of it, for so much of the time. Like trying to feel each individual raindrop when you were already soaked through.

It wasn't all bad. There were times when they were joking around, celebrating, just happy, she felt elated, euphoric even. But such moments of joy were elusive and too rare for her liking. The world was drenched in sorrow and she was like a magnet, drawing it all towards her.

Maybe it wasn't so terrible it would all end soon.

Adam hadn't given up. He was working constantly now, hardly sleeping. Dr Koby's discovery had distracted him certainly, but even on the trip over he'd been working, hiding whatever tests he'd been running when Jesse walked over of course. She'd hurt him most of all perhaps. Not simply her anger, but she'd certainly struck a nerve.

Something was going on with Adam. She'd known for months now. At first she'd denied it even to herself, she didn't want to believe he was hiding something from them, something important.

She knew he had secrets, they all knew that. And she'd tried to respect that, to keep up the barricades he'd put in place. But as her powers increased, it became harder and harder to stay out of his head. She lost the battle by inches, gradually getting more and more of an idea of who exactly her mentor had been, and who he was now.

"Oh Adam.." she sighed, "How did you get so lost?"

"Emma?" she started guiltily. The subject of her thoughts stood in the doorway, a puzzled frown on his face. Had he heard? "Adam." she replied, keeping her tone low and even, no he hadn't heard, she just…knew. Still…"Did you want something?"

He shook his head, turning on the light, "I was just going to bed, thought I heard you talking to someone."

She smiled slightly, "Nope. Just thinking aloud."

He nodded, "How are you feeling?"

"Are you sure you want an answer?" The answer she got was a pained smile. She considered, "I'm fine."

He looked a little taken aback, obviously she'd convinced him she was feeling otherwise. "Really? Only your behaviour earlier was a little out of character. I was worried."

She turned so she was facing him directly. Her anger was gone now, burned out, she couldn't even feel indignant at the implication what she had said was just her illness talking, some side effect of her genetic structure breaking down. But she needed him to understand, if only for his own sake.

"Adam, what I said earlier had nothing to do with this, you know that." she replied, keeping her tone level. "I don't deny dying has changed things for me, but not like that." She sighed, bring her hands to her head for a minute, shutting her eyes. Adam was there in a heartbeat, kneeling in front of her, "Emma?" the concern in his voice brought tears to her eyes, she blinked them away. For this, she had to be strong.

"I meant it earlier." She said softly, "I was angry, and it hurt that you wouldn't believe me, any of you." Adam shook his head slightly, saddened by her words. He wanted to speak, but she rushed on, "But it was more than that, I want to…I need to know you all be okay without me looking out for you." She looked up finally, meeting his eyes, "And I need to know they'll be okay without you there."

If he was surprised by that, he didn't show it, he just moved to sit beside her, and silently put an arm round her. She didn't cry, it wasn't the time for that right now. But if a tear somehow escaped her notice, she knew it wouldn't matter. She'd said nothing she hadn't known for ages, but somehow saying it aloud made it so much more real, more painful. Adam was leaving them.

And her world got a little more hollow inside.

"How long have you known?" His voice was empty, only she could ever have sensed the turmoil of despair, grief, and resolution fighting inside him.

"A while now," she pulled away, facing him again. "What I don't understand is why? You know we'd protect you against anyone who came after you. We're a team Adam, that's what we do."

"And that is exactly why I can't stay." He was determined, "The people after me are far too powerful, and I won't risk your lives just to try and save mine." He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was gentle, "You know better than anyone that I can't stay."

She wiped a hand furiously across her eyes, she did know. She also knew it was the hardest decision he'd ever made, that it cut him to the core to do this, so much so that if she carried on coaxing, persuading, and pleading, that he might even change his mind and stay. She could change his mind in an instant if she wanted by the mere force of her will.

But that would be wrong.

"I know." She said simply, accepting his decision, and telling him she understood. "When will you leave? Before…" he shook his head.

"No, I'll see you through this before I go."

"To the bitter end?" Adam smiled at her, standing,

"To the bitter end." He agreed, walking to the door. There was one other thing she had to do.

"Adam," he stopped, looking curiously at her. "I have to ask you something." He nodded, frowning "You know my powers have been getting stronger over the last few months. They don't seem to be effected by this…my condition. In fact, if anything, they're still increasing." She paused, last chance to change her mind.

"Unless we can find a way to prevent it, when I die you're all coming with me anyway. What I have to know is, would you rather forget?" She didn't let herself read him, carried on, "I've asked myself so many times now, would I rather know this was happening. Now the others I haven't given a choice. But I'm asking you." She paused, his expression was inscrutable, "If you'd rather not know what was coming, I can make you forget. And if itwill really hurt you, cause too much pain,you can even forget me." Her eyes were so full of tears she could barely hold them back. They were her friends, she owed them this and so much more. "If it'll cause you more pain, you can all forget me. It'll be like I never existed. And I'll find my own way to protect you when I die."

That was it, she'd said it. In a moment he'd ask her to do as she'd just promised. In a moment Emma Delauro would never have existed. It would take a lot of power to do it, but she could. And then she'd be alone. Alone until the end of her life.

"Never."

It took her a moment to register what he'd said. She just stared at him, "Adam?"

"I said never." He was shaking his head, not even thinking about her offer, "Emma, the fact I might not…probably won't be able to save you has been the hardest thing I've ever faced in my life, I won't deny it. I've always been the one with the answers. There wasn't a problem I couldn't solve, a question I couldn't work out.I suppose what I'm realising isI can't save everyone and that's a hard lesson to learn, especially when it means I'm losing someone. Losing you." His gaze was all sympathy and understanding and love. It hurt so much that he cared, but in a good way. "I've learned a lot from you Emma, we all have. And I'm not about to make that all vanish just because it might bring pain." She gave up trying to hold back the tears, letting them fall freely. Adam continued, his voice soft, were his eyes watering now?

"I'm sorry I can't save you Emma."

He'd finally said it,though words were like acid to him, they made him face it, but they brought acceptance and a kind of peace. She was glad for that. "But never will I,never will weforget you. You'll always be a part of this team, even if you can't be with us." He came back, and hugged her, an apology, a comfort and a farewell, "Thank you for the offer Emma. But we have a right to our memories, and to our grief as well." He stepped back, she met his gaze, and smiled. He walked to the door, and she let him go. Whatever happened now, she'd made her peace with him.

"Goodnight Emma." He left, she listened as his footsteps faded away before whispering into the shadows,

"Goodbye."


Sorry it's been so long since I updated! It's been a little hectic here. Thanks and hugs to all the reviewers :) You guys are great. Only one or two chapters to go now, let me know what you think!