They walked back to the others. This place was becoming more and more there. It was less of a mindscape now, more a physical structure. If she didn't send them back soon, they would be rooted here, unable to leave. She couldn't allow that, even as she longed desperately for a little more time with her friends.
"It's time for you all to go." She told them gently. "I can't keep you here any longer, it's too dangerous. If you're here when I….go, you'll die."
"What if we want to stay?" this from Shalimar, she was still searching desperately for options. "You don't seem to be too worried about this. Can't we just stay with you…" Her voice trailed off, there was no real hope in it. Emma shook her head, smiling even through the tears still in her eyes. "It's not your time Shal." she explained, a wave of fierce love almost overcoming her. "I know you'd stay, all of you, if I let you." She slowly met the eyes of each of her dear dear friends, and their love and loyalty was never more evident. "But I could never leave the world peacefully knowing I was taking you with me, when it isn't your time yet. You aren't ready to die Shal, though I know you all would just to make it easier for me. And that means more than I'll ever be able to tell you." With a thought, the main entrance to the 'hall' started glowing softly, "There's the way out. When you step through there you'll be back at Naxcon, you'll remember nothing, and things will play out as they should."
"Except that you'll be dead." Jesse retorted, "How can you just expect us to leave you here to die alone. We should at least be here for you, how can you deny us that?"
"Because unlike probably any other living being on this earth, I know what is going to happen to me." She replied, her voice rising in pitch, she was worried. She forced her voice to a calmer level. "I know where I'm going Jess, and it doesn't scare me."
"So you're what, a prophet now?" Brennan asked cynically.
"No, I've just had time to check out the view." She answered. A idea formed in her mind, risky, butperhaps it would finally satisfy them. "And I can show you, if you want. I can't promise it'll be safe, or even that I'll defiantly be able to bring us all back, but if that's what it'll take for you all to leave atpeace with yourselves…"
"Do it." Adam said immediately, the others nodded in agreement. She smiled, the expression drawing their eyes to her, drawing them into her. "Alright."
They spent less than a millionth of a second there, but the effort it took to pull back, it could have been forever. When they returned, her friends were silent, overawed.
"God….Emma…" Brennan began, then stopped, just staring wide eyed at her. Adam and Jesse looked stunned, Shal was more animated,
"How can you bear to be here, when that's there waiting for you?" she asked, half to herself. "And we'd have made you stay if we could…how could we be so selfish?"
"We didn't know." Jesse said, obviously still in shock.
"We should have! Emma wouldn't-"
"Now do you understand?" Emma interrupted, more wearied by the experience than she wanted to admit. It was so close now, she'd felt it. To pull away from what was waiting for her…it took every bit of strength she had. She was so tired.
"We understand." Adam assured her, "in fact I'm amazed you've hung on this long…" he trailed off, looking unsure of himself, very out of character. She glanced at him, "Adam?"
"I just don't know…how can anyone's mind take that? We were there such a short time, and I know we weren't immersed completely…How can anyone, even you, take it all?"
"I can't." She answered, watching comprehension dawn, "No one can. But I can't think of a better way to go." She waited for the protests, the arguing, the pleading to start again.
But it didn't.
"Me neither." Shal smiled at her, eyes shining with tears, moreofjoythangrief now she hoped. "At least this way…you'll be happy won't you?" It wasn't really a question. She smiled back,
"All my life I've wondered about spirits and ghosts, about the supernatural. When I found out I was one of the supernatural," a soft chuckle from Adam, "I always wanted to know what happened next. I always wanted new experiences, the problem is when you can see almost anything you wanted through other peoples eyes, they're hard to find. But this…this is something no one's ever done before. Even when Ray Larkin took me through his death, it was nothing like this. This is my heaven, and this is where I can find peace with myself, my powers, and….everything. And this way, I won't ever really die." She raised a hand, gestured to the still glowing doorway, "And now, it's time for you to rejoin the world."
They didn't argue with her, slowly walking away. Shal went first, turning at the last second, "We'd have stayed with you."
Emma smiled, "I know." and with the kind of grin only a feral could give, and all the love in the world, her best friend was gone.
Now Shal had returned, the others were less reluctant. Brennan was next, his farewell a half wave and nod, no less precious to her for its brevity. She winked mischievously at him, "Take care of Shal for me."
He raised his eyebrows, grinned in that adorable way he had, replied "You bet", and stepped through to the real world.
She'd half expected Jesse to be next, he always seemed to follow Brennan. Not in a hanging on way, Jesse just seemed to trust his friend's decisions implicitly. And if he didn't, he was always sure to let Brennan know. But instead Adam walked forward, stopping to stare for a minute at the doorway. He looked back at her, smiled in that manner unreadable even to her.
"Thank you Emma."
"For what?"
He smiled again, "For showing me a world beyond science and technology. And…" he paused, and his expression was almost glad, "for letting me know what's really important."
She nodded, meeting his gaze with clear eyes, "Good luck Adam."
He smiled, "You too." then he slowly turned, and hesitating for a fraction of a second before walking through,
Then there were two.
Jesse had been watching the others leave, apparently still in shock. His eyes switched to her now, and he shook his head in wonder.
"All this time and you never said anything."
"I couldn't." She paused, hopefully, "You understand?"
He nodded slowly, "I think I do." and hesitatingly held out a hand, "Take care Emma."
She almost laughed, "Too manly to hug me now?"
He smiled, "I don't think so." and he pulled her into his arms.
For a few minutes they just stood there, holding each other tightly. Then reluctantly Emma pulled away.
"You have to go."
He looked confused, "Emma?"
"It's starting, if you don't go now you'll never get out." and as his face began to set into a stubborn resolve, "You can't stay Jesse."
"Why not? Someone should be here-"
"Because they need you." her concentration was shaking, the mental construct was starting to collapse. "Your life isn't yours to sacrifice anymore Jesse, it's theirs."
"And yours isn't?"
"Mine is meant to end here. My whole existence has been leading up to this. Can't you see?" seeing him start to waver, she repeated more gently, "They need you Jesse. I don't, not anymore." She pushed him towards the exit she wasn't even sure she could hold much longer. "Now if you love me like I love you, love all of you, fulfil my last wish, and get out of here." He stood staring at her,
"There's so much I need to tell you."
She shook her head slightly, tapped her right temple knowingly, "Trust me, you never needed to tell me anything Jesse." He smiled, that wrenching, ironic half-grin, "I'll miss you Emma."
She smiled back, "I'll miss you too." and he was gone. The place collapsing about her,
"Goodbye."
Okay, I have one final chapter to write. Or two short chapters...which would you prefer? Read and review as always and I'll finally finish this fic :)
