XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"Thanks "Thanks for coming with me, buddy," Kara said softly, studying her young son's profile.

He nodded, glancing up at her quickly and then back down. They were sitting at a small table at a little cafe a few blocks from the church.

"I've missed you Tay, I really have," she whispered.

He nodded again, "I missed you too, mommy," he said sincerely.

Her heart ached suddenly, and she treasured the words...because she knew... someday soon... he wouldn't miss her.

"I'm sorry I left last time without saying goodbye."

He tilted his head to one side, his beautiful dark eyes studying her, "Sometimes things that we can't help," he said sweetly.

She nodded, "Wise words."

"L-w-etty tolded me."

Again that ache.

Letty.

Letty would raise her son.

She'd do a good job too.

But Kara had to set the stage... and she would... that's why she was here...

Her grandmother had pointed out that although she'd released her husband... she hadn't done her son the same favor.

When she'd argued, her beloved nana had staunchly stated that a little boy always kept a special place in his heart for his mother... whether she wanted it or not... it was her right - as the mother.

That is unless said mother relinquished her rights... and relinquishing those rights had nothing to do with signing custody documents.

So she was going to relinquish those rights.

Just do it.

"You like Letty don't you buddy?"

He nodded vigorously, "We's all gonna live together's."

Taking a deep breath Kara dived in, "I'm not going to live with you guys."

"But you could."

"But I won't," she said softly, "I won't live with you and I... I probably won't see you all that much."

He frowned, "I think if you lived withs us you'd see me lots."

She sighed, "Taylor, your Daddy and me we used to me married that's why we lived together. Now he's going to marry Letty so they're going to live together. Do you understand?"

He continued to frown, "But you could-"

"But I won't," she interrupted, "I need you to understand that Tay."

He was silent for a long while.

She waited.

"I understand." He finally said, his voice sullen.

"But you don't like it," Kara offered.

"No," he said firmly, "It would be better if we's all lived togethers."

"Your Dad loves Letty."

"He l-w-oves you too."

"It's a different kind of love... he loves her the way married people are supposed to love each other."

Taylor was silent.

Kara took a deep breath, preparing for the clinch, "Why am I your mother Tay?"

His dark eyes snapped up to her face, riveting on her eyes, as his brow furrowed in concentration. It was obvious he'd never thought to ask.

"'Cause you l-w-ove me," he responded softly.

She nodded, "I do.... very much," she said, her voice catching a little, but she made herself continue, "... but so does your Auntie Mia and Sonya... and they're not your mommy."

Again he was silent, this time looking at her.... waiting for the answer... willing to accept whatever she said... because she was his mommy...

"Kids have mommy's so that the mommy's can watch out for them," she said softly, blinking back the tears, "A real mommy, Taylor, is somebody who doesn't just love you, but who takes care of you."

His gaze dropped then, back to the table.

"Do you understand what I'm saying Taylor?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"A mommy takes care of you," he whispered.

Kara nodded, reaching out slowly, she lifted his chin so that she could see his face, "I've never done a very good job taking care of you Taylor," she whispered.

"It's okay mommy," he responded immediately.

Her tears spilled then; all the things she'd yelled at this little boy, all the times she'd grabbed him hard, the times she'd shook him or ignored him, or just sat there quietly, but determinedly wishing him away -- and he said, it's okay mommy.

"It's not okay, Taylor, it was wrong. I didn't take care of you."

She'd released him, so she could wipe her tears away.

"You deserve a better Mommy, Taylor, someone who's never going to... to..." she couldn't even bring herself to say it, ".... to treat you like I did. Someone who's going to adore you all the time, Tay, someone who likes taking care of you."

Still the little boy said nothing, his eyes once again downcast.

"I think Letty would be a very good Mommy for you."

She'd said the words softly, knowing that she could never take them back. Knowing that this was all she had to say... all she had to do was plant the thought...

He lifted his gaze to her and in those dark eyes she saw every harsh word she'd ever said to him, every cutting glance, every push, shove, and shake.... and she saw love... so much love...

... he'd forgive her...

... he'd keep her as his Mommy if she wanted... that's what those dark eyes said.

In one swift move she scooped him off his chair onto her lap, holding him close; inhaling his scent and feeling his skin...

... understanding that this was the last time she'd hold him as her son...

"Oh baby," she whispered softly, just holding him.

"You're mommy," he said solemnly, "I l-w-ove you."

She gave him teary smile,

"I love you more, Taylor, I love you so much," she said passionately, pulling him away so she could look into his face, "So very much. I don't want you to ever forget that, to ever think that I don't love you. Even if I haven't seen you or talked to you in a long time... I still love you... I'll always love you, always be thinking about you," her voice cracked here, but she forced herself to continue, it was almost finished, "But you deserve more than me, Taylor, you deserve a mommy who's going to be there and I'm not going to be there Tay." She made the words sound as final as she could.

"But you're mommy..." he repeated.

"You could have two mommies,"

His bottom lip began to quiver, "But what if... what if she thinks it's my fault too..." he cried.

She could almost hear the sound of her heart breaking, as she pulled him into another hug.

Gently she rocked him back and forth, until his sobs subsided. She stood slowly, still holding him.

Without saying a word she began to walk back to the chapel, the boy in her arms.

Somewhere along the line, he stopped crying, instead he just lay there; his arms wrapped around her neck, his legs around her waist.

When she stood outside chapel she pulled him away from her, standing him on one of the pillar-bases so that they were eye-level.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully. Are you listening?"

He nodded.

"I was wrong Taylor. I was very wrong. It wasn't your fault. Not ever. Not anything. It was never your fault and I was wrong to make you keep secrets."

He said nothing.

"The little secrets were wrong."

She held him by the forearms, "It was never your fault, Tay, ever. Do you understand that?"

He said nothing, did nothing... and she knew... she'd made him believe it...

"It was me and someday you're gonna understand that... someday you're going to see that it was really my fault.... and I..." the tears started again, "... I don't want you to hate me okay, buddy, I want you to just... understand that I'm so sorry, so incredibly sorry and that it... it was never your fault..."

He titled his head to one side, "Don't cr-w-y Mommy, I wouldn't evers hates you, your mommy."

She nodded, wiping at her tears, forcing a smile onto her face... knowing that one day... he would...

One day he'd understand that he'd be neglected and verbally abused and occasionally, even physically abused.

One day - soon - she'd stop being mommy.

One day he'd look at her with strangers eyes... because that's what they'd be.

Today though, he was her little boy and she was his mommy.

She took a fortifying breath, "Come on buddy, let's go see if that lawyer dude showed up yet... we got a wedding to watch!!"

That brought an instant smile to the boy's face, "Yeah!!" he agreed, "And d'there's a party after!! And d'there's gonna be cake and I can have two pieces!!"

"Wow!" she exclaimed, turning so he could hop on her back.

He did instantly, "You're gonna stay right Mommy... you'll stay..."

"Yeah, buddy, I'll stay for the party."

The little boy laughed, "Good!"

"Good huh?" she teased, "This is good too..." she started spinning

And that's how they entered the chapel, Taylor holding on tight and laughing as Kara spun into the room.

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