Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I did buy some of the paperback books today.

Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long to update...it's been in the upper 80's since Saturday, and I've been working short shifts...normally that means more writing, this week it meant lounging by the pool. It's amazing how for the most part of the week, there has not been a single cloud in our clear blue sky. I love being able to swim in April. The south is great. (Of course, by July I'll be miserable and contemplating life in Antarctica.) I've got a nasty sunburn and I'm going to blister if I continue to go outdoors, so I guess I'll be inside and working on this more often for awhile.

This is crap, it really is, and I'm not just saying that so you'll reply and tell me I'm wrong. It's really crappy. But it gets the story where I decided it's going to go, even if it's jumpy at bits. I'm sorry, I just can't focus right now. I do have the next chapter planned out though, which is better than this one, which just wrote itself.

Thanks for your ongoing support, I am very touched by your kind words.

Jenny

Four:

"Give us a few minutes." Catherine whispered to Nick as they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, "Go let Warrick and Grissom know that we're going to be in soon, okay?"

Nick nodded, stealing a quick glance at Sara, who still had tears streaming silently down her face, then getting out of the car and walking towards the hospital entrance.

Catherine climbed out as well, but opened the door to the backseat and climbed in, taking Sara's hand in her own, "I know it's a dumb question, but how are you holding up?"

Sara stared at her hands, tears blurring her vision, as she thought of the many possible answers to Catherine's question. She wanted to say "fine" and pretend like nothing had happened, but she knew even she couldn't pull that off. In reality, she was so angry with herself for not trying harder to resolve the conflict without violence.

Sure, she was trained to shoot and kill when the situation warranted it, but that didn't mean she actually wanted to kill people. Wasn't it her job to make sure people like her were put away? She had taken another life, something she could never condone, and she was disgusted with herself, with her actions, with everyone who was telling her she did the right thing. All she wanted to do was curl up in a corner and die.

"Sara? Talk to me, okay?" Catherine asked, although it was more of a command, her voice rising slightly, "You can't shut us out."

Sara shook her head sadly, still staring at her hands, the hands that held the guns, the hands that took a life. She started to tremble, allowing Catherine to pull her into a hug as she started to loudly sob, fear, grief, guilt, and anger pouring out of her in waves of agony. "Catherine, I hate this. I hate myself for doing this. Why! Why didn't I try harder to talk to him?"

"Shh," Catherine soothed, "You can't beat yourself up over this. He was going to hurt Greg, he was going to hurt you. You had to protect yourself, it's your job to watch Greg's back."

"I'm no better than he was, he's going to die, Cath, if he hasn't already. He's going to die because of me." Sara sobbed, "I swore I'd never take a person's life, I swore I wouldn't, not after everything I've lived through."

Catherine held the sobbing woman in her arms, not knowing what to say to soothe her pain, knowing all of the consolations she could think of would not be enough to even begin to ease the pain and guilt on Sara's mind. After a few minutes, Catherine sighed, "It's an occupational hazard, Sara. Even though you feel like shit, you did the right thing. It sucks, doesn't it?"

Sara nodded, her sobs lessening gradually, "How do you do this? How do you move on?"

"You just do, Sara." Catherine whispered, "There's no magic word that can help you accept the situation and heal, there's no on and off switch for emotions, there's only time."

Sara nodded again, slowly pulling away from Catherine, trying to stop the tears that were still pouring down her cheeks, "I'm so embarrassed."

"It's a normal reaction, you're supposed to cry, you're supposed to feel remorseful, you're supposed to want to curl up under your covers for the rest of your life. If you didn't feel that way, then we'd worry about you. Don't you ever feel embarrassed for being human, Sara Sidle, we all know you are." Catherine said, her voice firm, "Now let's go inside, tell Brass exactly what happened so he can file his report, and check on Greg. He's probably really worried about you."

"I wouldn't think he'd be worried. Relieved that I saved his butt, maybe, but not worried." Sara replied, her voice growing steadier. "He'd do the same for me, in a heartbeat."

Catherine shook her head, "You don't see it, do you?" She paused, seeing confusion on Sara's face, "You don't. Sara, the boy's crazy about you. Not professionally, not some sort of crush, not just friendly, he absolutely adores you. I bet he's got a 'Sara shrine' at his apartment. I think he wants to be a 'special friend', if you know what I'm saying."

"You're insane." Sara replied, following Catherine to the hospital doors, "We flirt, but we're just friends. Greg knows that. Greg and I have the same relationship as Nick and I. And he knows I'm not interested in romance right now, anyway. Just friends, Cath."

Catherine shook her head, "Just watch how he acts towards you, you'll see what I'm talking about. It's written all over his face."

"This isn't the time to be talking about this." Sara snapped, starting to get annoyed with the conversation, apprehension building in the pit of her stomach. It was time to face the music, time to face what she had done.

Brass was already waiting in one of the plastic waiting room chairs, a pen and a small notebook in his hands. Beside him sat Conrad Ecklie, a frown on his face. This was going to get ugly.

"Sara, have a seat." Brass said gently, motioning to a chair across from them, "We're just going to ask you a few questions about what happened tonight. It is very routine, we just wanted to make sure you followed procedure and that your actions were justified. Ecklie's team is investigating the shooting, and he asked to be present for the interview."

Nearly an hour later, Sara was convinced that she was going to lose her job. Not only could she not remember easy facts and details on the events that had taken place, she had broke down crying in front of them, her guilty conscience showing as plainly as ever, and as soon as they had finished questioning her, an officer informed them that the person Sara had shot, named Jimmy Gardner, had just passed away.

Greg had been moved to a private room, the doctors wanting to keep him overnight for observations, and while Nick and Catherine had gone back to the hotel to finish collecting evidence, Sara stayed to keep him company.

"I'm sorry." Greg said sleepily, taking her hand into his own, "I'm sorry I drug you into the middle of this mess."

"Hey, I planted myself there." Sara replied, stroking his hand gently, "I'm just sorry you got hurt."

"Not as hurt as I would have been if you hadn't shot the bastard." Greg replied, his eyes narrowing, "I know how hard it must have been for you...I'm just glad you were able to do it. There was a minute or two where I thought you were going to just let him kill us."

"It did cross my mind." Sara said softly, trying to fight tears. She watched as his eyes slid closed, and after a few seconds, she laid her head down on his bed and gave in to the fatigue as well.

"Well, well. If it isn't Sleeping Beauty and Tweedledum." Warrick said as he entered the room a few hours later, seeing Greg and Sara whispering quietly to each other. "It's about time the two of you woke up."

"It's been a long night." Sara replied, stifling a yawn. Truth be told, if Greg hadn't stirred in his sleep, she probably would still be drooling on his blanket, dead to the world. "What are you still doing here?"

"I came to give you a ride home," Warrick said with a grin, "Greg's going to need someone to stay with while his concussion's clearing up, and since he offered to take you in last time, I offered you to return the favor. I'm figuring I can bring you home, have Nick drop off your car while you catch a few z's, and you can come back by and pick up Greg when he's discharged at 1:00 P.M."

"Looks like we're going to be living together again." Sara told Greg with a smile. She was relieved that their relationship had remained strong after she moved out of his apartment, it was no secret that she had been worried about losing her close friend. "I'll stock up on buttered popcorn."

"Don't forget the New York Super Fudge Chunk." Greg said with a bright smile, "Popcorn and Ice Cream, my two favorite things."

Warrick rolled his eyes, "That's going to help his body heal." He said sarcastically.

"What? It worked for me." Sara said defensively, "We ate that mix every day and I made a full recovery."

Warrick shook his head with a smirk, "Yeah, and put on 15 pounds."

"I thought you were supposed to be the sensible one," Greg told Warrick with wide eyes as Sara's narrowed, "I thought you'd have more sense than to tell a woman anything about her weight," He looked at Sara, squeezing her hand, "I think you're beautiful."

Warrick's eyes widened a bit, and he backtracked, "Of course, I think you're beautiful too, I didn't mean that in a bad way, I was just saying..."

"So, you'd been checking me out then?" Sara asked, her smile evident even in her voice, enjoying the slightly worried look in Warrick's eyes as he tried to think of an answer that wouldn't get him into any more trouble. Sometimes it was nice to throw the other guys for a loop. "Don't worry, I won't tell Catherine."

"Tell me what?" Catherine asked, walking into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, "Greg, how are you feeling?"

"Better." Greg said with a tired smile, "My headache's not as bad, I'm just sore now."

"It'll take time to heal completely." Catherine replied as she gave him a sympathetic smile.

Warrick nudged her arm gently, "Guess who's moving in with Sara for a week long junk-food-fest?"

"Watch out for him, Sara, he may try to sneak into your bed." Catherine laughed, watching as Greg began to protest, then shook his head with a shrug, as if to say 'Yeah, so?'

Sara shook her head, "I don't think so. He had plenty of time to make his move when I was staying with him, and he didn't."

"I couldn't hit on an injured woman without feeling guilty," Greg said in self defense as Warrick raised an eyebrow at him, "Oh, you two are ones to talk. You practically hopped into bed as soon as Catherine's casts were off."

"If they waited that long." Sara added with a smirk, seeing Catherine's face blush slightly, Warrick's remaining neutral. "Oh my God, you didn't wait that long, did you?"

Greg shook his head, "As much as I'd love to hear about your sex lives, it's really too much info at this point."

"Greg, get some rest. Sar, let's get going, it's been a long shift and I need some sleep before I fall here." Warrick said, tugging on Sara's arm, "You two have plenty of time to plan your menus later."

Greg reluctantly let go of Sara's hand, not wanting to see her go, "Are you sure it's going to be enough sleep for you, picking me up at 1?"

"It's not like I have plans," Sara said bitterly, her good mood rapidly fading as the memories of why they were here filled her mind, "I'm on leave until they finish the investigation. Brass says I'm not in trouble, that I did everything by the book, but..."

"I know." Greg replied, giving her a sympathetic smile, "Pick up two containers of ice cream, I think we'll need it."

Sara gave him a soft smile, once again fighting tears. He always was able to make her feel better, she was so lucky to have such a wonderful friend. "Thanks." she whispered, allowing Warrick and a concerned Catherine to lead her from the room, shutting the door behind them.

"It'll be good having Greg at your place. You two can keep an eye on each other." Catherine said gently, putting her arm around Sara, "Just as long as your eyes are all you keep on each other."

"We're just friends." Sara replied, "I feel the same way about Greg as I feel about you, Warrick, Nick, and Grissom. We're all friends, practically related. Being with any of you would be like being with my brother or sister."

"That's what I thought, until it happened." Catherine said with a knowing smile, "He likes you, Sara, don't throw that away. Look at you and Grissom."

Sara shook her head, "That's was just a crush that spun out of control. I'm over that, Gris and I are friends. Greg doesn't like me that way, we're just friends. Best friends. Guys and girls can be friends without having sex, you know that, right?"

"I'm just telling you what I see." Catherine replied as they walked into the parking garage, "And I see you and Greg in the future."

"Enough meddling, leave the poor girl alone!" Warrick chastised as they reached the Tahoe, "She's been through enough, stop giving her more things to worry about."

Sara sat in the backseat, a small smile tugging on her lips. Greg? She hadn't seriously considered a relationship with him. They were just friends. But, if they were just friends, why did she get butterflies in her stomach while Catherine was going on and on about how he liked her earlier? This was going to be one of those crazy days, she could just feel it.