Closer to God

Spoilers: All of season one from Water to Kobol's Last Gleaming Part One
Rating: K+
Summary: He fell in love with her at the precise instant she blew cigar smoke in his face.
Disclaimer: I don't own Battlestar Galactica; it just inspires me. I do, however, own this story and the ideas contained within.


He fell in love with her at the precise instant she blew cigar smoke in his face.

It was the first time he'd seen her, really, and he felt he understood her at first glance. Lt. Kara Thrace. Starbuck, though he would never have the right to call her that. She intrigued him, even amused him with that casual arrogance he himself affected. But with her, it was something gained from experience, something necessary, while he felt he deserved to be arrogant. He was, after all, the smartest man still living.

Because he loved her, he went to visit her in Life Station.

He couldn't tell her, of course, though he wanted to. He doubted she'd believe him, and if she did, she'd probably ridicule him. So he just gave her a cigar and pretended to be nothing more than a concerned friend. He didn't think she believed him.

He loved her even more when he learned he couldn't have her.

Any imbecile could see she was in love with Captain Lee Adama. Apollo. He didn't like to think of Kara as an imbecile, because she didn't see it, so he assumed she was denying her feelings. After a good while passed, he began to doubt his original assessment. They made no move towards each other.

The love grew deeper when she walked in on him and Six.

She gave him a look that was purely Kara, a look that he'd come to expect from her. It wasn't a look he would normally cherish, but because it came from her and it was the only kind of look he ever expected her to give him, he accepted it with all the heart he had. He had questioned whether he had a heart before--he'd never been in love, after all, only lust--but with Kara, he knew.

The quickest his love grew was when he realized she didn't want him.

He wasn't used to that, and it made her all the more intriguing. On Caprica, he was handsome, he was famous, he was rich, he was politically important, and when he talked, people listened. He learned early that women flocked to power and money and fame, and he used that to its full advantage. Any woman he wanted, he had without much trouble. He had to woo some women, of course, but that made the relationship all the more exciting. Kara excited him the most--she didn't want him and he knew it, which made him want her more. It was almost a conquest, something he had to do in order to retain respect for himself, to retain the power he once had over every woman. It was a challenge, and he loved her deeply for it.

The events of Colonial Day caused him to love her more than ever.

From the moment she walked into his laboratory with that Kara look on her face, he knew maybe something had changed. He hoped when she said "our transport," she really did mean what Six guessed, that they were going on a romantic getaway. But that fantasy crumbled when she said he was the representative of Caprica. It wasn't as bad as he thought--he found a woman to replace her, a woman with blonde air who was nothing like her, who was her polar opposite. It didn't help as much as he thought it would. But then she agreed when he asked her to dance, and his hope was renewed. She agreed to go home with him.

And somehow, his love was revitalized rather than destroyed by her calling out Lee's name.


Woah! Fic number 13...I do have a life. I swear! I write most of these during class. Please review?
Oh, and by the way...I am totally not in favor of Gaius and Kara. I'mLee/Kara all the way.