Chapter 2
Disclaimer: None of the following characters are mine, except Russell, but only partially.
(As Russell dove out the window, he hit a monkey wearing a blue suit.)
Porter: Ow! Watch where you're diving!
Russell: (gets up) Sorry. Hey! You look exactly like the monkey on the train!
Porter. We're twins. We're both named Porter.
Russell: Both named Porter, huh? That reminds me of Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny.
Porter: Go down these stairs. Tom Nook is waiting for you.
Russell: Who?
(Before Russell got an answer, Porter hopped on the train with a bag of money and rode off.)
Russell: Whatever. I'll find out for myself.
(Russell walked down the stairs and saw four houses. Just then, a raccoon wearing an apron walked over to him)
Nook: Hello. My name is Tom Nook.
Russell: I know.
Nook. How?
Russell: You just told me! Hahahahaha!
Nook: Anyway, there are four houses here.
Russell: No shit, Sherlock!
Nook: You may live in one of them. Be sure to check out the inside first.
(Russell walked over to the first house and entered.)
Russell: (sniffing) What's that smell? (Looks around)
(Russell slowly stumbled out of the house and vomited on the doorstep.)
Nook: Well? Did you like it?
Russell: What? Are you crazy? That house is made entirely of shit! No way I'm living in there!
Nook: Oh yes! The "Natural House." I made that one myself!
Russell: (Peeks in the door of the second house) This house has no floor. I can see the center of the Earth.
(Russell looked in the next house, but quickly left and vomited again, this time on Nook.)
Russell: That house is made of shit also!
Nook: You looked in the first house again.
Russell: (Looks in the last house) This house is crap, but it's the best of the four. I'll take it!
