Asuka's POV:

I can't help but laugh when the teacher said that. I laugh even harder when Wonder Girl's face becomes extremely red, as she picks up the buckets and walks out of the classroom. I don't remember her ever being punished by the teacher, but this just makes it even funnier. It is not often that Wonder Girl gets herself in an embarrassing situation. And when she does, I just have to take the chance. So I laugh as hard as my lungs allow me to.

That is until Shinji turns around and glares at me. I stop momentarily. Much as I hate to admit, Shinji can be intimidating sometimes, but that is only when it involves Wonder Girl. However, I am not one to cower under such situations. Letting other people get to me like that would only make them think that they are superior to me. This would be unacceptable. So I glare back, and I laugh harder. That'll show him.

After a few minutes or so, the class calms down and everything continues as normal. Back to the boring lessons. My mind wonders off to her again. The more I think of it, the more I feel guilty at laughing at her. So she does have emotions. My guess has been proven correct. When I first came here, I truly thought she was just an emotionless doll.

But being fellow female pilots, I got to see her a lot. And as time passes by, I start having this unexplainable urge to get to know her. After all, we are fellow pilots. Every time we board the Evas, we have to watch out for each other, knowing that any one of us might not safely return.

This is getting interesting. I can guess who she drew on her book. It could be no one else but him. But I feel something itching inside me. Must be my curiosity, I just have to make sure.

I look at the teacher. He is facing the blackboard writing some really long notes. And then I look at wonder girl's seat. It is just four seats away from mine. If I am quick enough, I should be able to make it to her seat and come back.

But just in case I can't make it…I pick up my eraser and throw it near wonder girl's seat. Luck is on my side. It stops just beside her chair. Good, now that I have an excuse if I get caught. I get up and walk briskly towards her seat.

As fast as I can, I grab both her book and my eraser and return back to my own seat. The teacher is still writing on the blackboard. But Toji saw what I did. He raises his hand.

"Teacher!!! Sohryu was leaving her seat!!!"

My eyes widen in horror and disbelief. That…That PIG!!! The teacher turns back and looks at me. Reflexively, I try my best to look hurt. I force some tears into my eyes and try to blink them back. I act exactly like a poor girl who was constantly being picked on by bigger boys. The teacher returns to his blackboard.

"Suzuhara, behave yourself."

I have to try hard not to laugh. It is fortunate that I have good acting skills. I remember how I used to tease Shinji with my dual personality when I first arrived here in Tokyo-3. Anyway, Toji will get his ass cooked later on, but now I have more interesting thing to do. I open up Wonder Girl's book and see the picture she drew. No surprise, he looks exactly like Shinji, except there is something different, though I'm not really sure what it is. The Shinji she drew doesn't look like a…

The Shinji she drew doesn't look like a wimp.

Anyway, now that I know her little secret, she will no longer ignore me.

"Psst…Psst…Demon girl!"

I glare at Toji. To think that I helped set him up with Hikari against my better judgement. And this is what I get in return. Not only is he ungrateful, he is being a total ass.

"What is it you pig?!"

"Hey, I beat you by 1!!! Hahaha…"

I can't believe he said that! I can't believe he is still thinking about that history exam! I can't believe he has the nerve to still talk about it! Has he no shame at all?!?! I am royally pissed now. I grab the nearest thing I can, which happens to be my water container. And then I throw the aluminium bottle directly at that pig's face.

It hits him squarely on the face.

Two minutes later, I am standing outside the class, carrying two buckets of water. Wonder girl is standing right beside me.

I look side way at her.

She looks back at me.

I try to sneer at her, but I think it ends up sounding more like a giggle.

Her eyes widen. She has a curious look on her face. But she just keeps quiet.

"Who did you draw in your book?"

"……"

"It was Shinji, wasn't it?"

"……"

She is still saying nothing. But now she is looking at her feet. And she is blushing. I bend towards her and say in a low voice…

"You like Shinji, don't you?"

Her eyes widen more. Her face is a deep pink. I can see why Shinji is attracted to her. She may not be as gorgeous as I am, but she still looks adorable.

"What are you talking about?"

"Listen, I set up Hikari and the pig. I'm good at this. I can help you."

"……"

She looks like she is hesitating. I can see the enormous stress on her face. I never knew what I just said would trigger this response. She looks bitter. The blush on her face has disappeared and her face is paler than usual. She must be undergoing an internal turmoil. She looks like her decision might have an impact on the fate of the world. I begin to feel sorry for teasing her like that. But I need to encourage her. I've finally got her attention, and this is not the time to give up.

"Your prince charming likes you a lot. Do you know that? He is just afraid that you might not share the same feelings."

Her breathing stops. Her mouth is hanging slightly open. To my surprise, her eyes begin to glister with tears. These are not happy tears. I can sense that these are sad tears. She just doesn't have that happy look on her face. The kind of happy look you have when someone told you your crush actually likes you a lot. Wonder girl's face is more like that of regret and sorrow. It is the last thing I expected to see when I told her that.

"I…I…I do not love him…"

I look at her in shock. Her face looks so sad when she said that. It is just not normal to say you don't love someone, with a face so sad like that. There must be something else going on. The tears in her eyes look like they would fall down with the slightest push. I do not want to pressure her any further. The hatred I used to have for her has completely disappeared, although I feel slightly disappointed.

I do not know why she is hurt, but I consider this a failure on my part. Instead of making her confess her affection towards Shinji, I end up getting this response. I can feel anger and frustration building inside me, but the expression on her face prevents me from saying anything further.

It reminds me of the emotional trauma I had after my mother's death. She closes her eyes and let her tears roll down her cheeks. We just stand there in silence after that.


Rei's POV:

So it's true. The Second Child has said it. Shinji does love me. I do not know what to feel. Should I feel happy because I have a place in his heart? Or should I feel sad because this is not meant to be? The boy I love actually loves me back. For any other girls, this represents the ultimate blessing. But for me, I'm afraid this is the ultimate curse. Fate, why let this happen to us? There can be nothing more painful than lose what you love.

I am in a world I never thought I would be. I can taste the sweetness of romance, but it turns bitter immediately. It would have been so wonderful if not for my origin. It would have been so sweet if not for who I am. It would have been like the fairytales I read.

But destiny is cruel to me. It has always been cruel to me. It made me Shinji's biological half sister, and then made me fall in love with him. This would be incest, something the human world can never accept. It's ironic, isn't it? The world I so much want to be part of, is denying me the happiness I most seek.

Although I honestly want to believe that true love should be able to see pass any boundaries, Shinji wouldn't be able to do that. Once he found out who I am, he would not love me anymore.

But Shinji deserves someone better than me. He can surely find someone special and be happy, can't he? My desire for him is an act of selfishness. If I truly love him, I should let him find someone who can provide him with true contentment, shouldn't I?

After all, my body is dirty. My body is tainted by the commander's sins. I am not pure enough for Shinji. And I can't even bear children. I can never have a child of my own. Our love will bear no fruit. Our love will not bring any happiness. Our love can never be a fairytale. It is just impossible. It is just better if I say…

"I…I…I do not love him…"

It hurts. It really hurts. I close my eyes and let the tears fall. I would have given anything to be with him. But I don't want to hurt him. It is better this way…it is better this way…

I shouldn't feel sad. I've never had anything before, and I've nothing to lose. Nothing has changed. I've merely returned to the way I was before, my empty life. I did not lose Shinji, because he was never mine. I believe so. I just have to believe it.

The rest of the school was uneventful. As usual, I walk home straight after school ends. I find my legs to be very heavy. Every step I take seems to be so exhausting. But I feel much better now. Actually, I feel happy and relieved. It is a beautiful day, and I can see little children playing in the playground.

There are some couples strolling along the road. The air is refreshing. Each breath I take brings forth new energy, and suddenly I don't feel so tired anymore. The gentle evening sunlight washes over the city with a brilliant orange. This is too peaceful.

I stop by a street stall to buy some cookies. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast, and I'm feeling really hungry. And this extraordinary scenery has increased my appetite. I walk slowly to a nearby park. I pick a spot near a fountain to sit down. Listening to the water splashing is something I have learnt to enjoy. It's so soothing. It's like music, a never ending sound of nature.

Suddenly, I heard a loud thud. I turn around to see what had happened. It seems that a little boy had tripped while riding his bicycle. He is sitting there and crying. A woman, who I assume to be his mother, runs over to him as soon as she sees this. She gently rubs the boy's swollen knee, while at the same time saying something which I cannot hear properly due to the distance. The boy continues to cry loudly. Eventually, the mother has to carry the boy home because he refuses to walk.

Such is the love of a mother…

This is turning out to be a good day. Humanity has given me new hope. I smile to myself as I open the snack. It smells really nice. Food like this is something I rarely eat. I pick up one piece of cookie and put it in my mouth. As I chew, I can taste the sweetness. I savour all the wonders of the cookie before I try to swallow it.

It is then I realise something. I can't swallow it. Something is stuck in my throat.

And then it hits me. I can't breath. Something is trapped in my neck, and yet my heart feels so empty. I begin to choke. And once I start I cannot stop. I drop the snack to the floor, scattering the cookies all over the place.

I fall to my knees, supporting my body with both my palms flat on the ground. I spit out the remnants of cookie in my mouth and start to vomit. But nothing comes out. Only droplets of clear fluid start dripping down, darkening the ground wherever it hits.

One drop, two drops, three drops…

And my vision becomes clouded as more droplets hit the ground and my hands. My heart aches. I grab the front of my blouse tightly as I rub my eyes. My body feels weak. I have missed lunch today. My stomach aches too, but not as much as my heart. It feels as if someone was poking holes on my heart with a needle, draining all the life out of me.

I've been denying the truth. Shinji means too much to me. I just can't lose him.

Eventually, when I can't hold it anymore, I just sit there and cry my heart out.

It takes me a lot of effort to finally stand up and walk home. I am feeling so low. I do not belong here. I do not belong to this world. And yet I cannot leave. I want to leave, but I can't. I'm being chained to this world. I'm being chained by him. I walk slowly towards home. This time I don't stop. As soon as I reach home, I fall onto the bed. I'm too tired. I'm so exhausted that I can't be bothered making dinner, even though I am hungry. I fall asleep easily.

Did I make the correct decision? My dream is a blank one; all I can see is a pure white, like a clean piece of paper. There are no colours which highlight the void in my heart. The emptiness I feel in the dream reflects that of my real life. If I want a life, if I want something to remember, then I should pick up a colour pencil myself and start drawing. But where would I find that colour pencil? Ikari-kun? Can you hear the voices in my heart?

Shattered…into pieces it breaks…

I wake up to someone shaking me on my shoulder. It is not rough, but it is not gentle either. I open my eyes and see him. It's him again. He has come. He never knocks on my door, and I never lock my door. He doesn't allow it. I am scared of him. I look at him with terrified eyes, silently begging him not to do that to me. It is no use. He shows no sympathy towards me.

He slowly undresses himself. I want to run away. But where can I go? What good would it do? I start sobbing. This is not the first time he hears me crying. He just doesn't care. I back myself into a corner and hug my knees to my chest. I can feel him climbing onto the bed. I look up at him. He looks back coldly. Then he pulls me roughly to him. He forces a kiss on me and starts to unbutton my clothes.

The same routine, and the same violence, they are always coming back to haunt my life. The familiar sharp pain is here again. I feel like being ripped apart, as I always do. But my friend will come soon. He will come and relieve me. If pain is my enemy, then darkness is my friend. Darkness will be there to overtake my senses, and blank out the world.

The cruel void…Ikari-kun, can you understand the voices in my heart…