Chapter 3
ADVISORY NOTICE: Russell is my name, as well as my character's name.
(Um...now to pick up where we left off!)
Nook: Congratulations! You now own a house!
Russell: I'm not thrilled about living in a house with a broken stone floor...
Nook: With fees and closing costs, the house comes to...(pulls out a calculator and starts punching in numbers) 19,800 Bells.
Calculator: (whispers in Nook's ear) That's too much money.
Russell: Kewl, you have a talking calculator...I mean...OH MY GOD THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY! (Pulls out a bulging bag) Here.
Nook: You're not supposed to have the money yet!
Russell: But I do. So take it.
Nook: No! (Takes 1,000 Bells and throws the rest off a cliff) Maybe I should have kept that...
Russell: You asshole! (Picks up Nook by the tail and shoves him into one of the cracks in the floor.) There. That should take care of him. (Walks outside) OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?
Gyroid: I am a Gyroid assistant. I am programmed to make your life miserable by talking.
Russell: Well, you're doing a good job. (Gently pushes it over and it cracks.) That's two bitches taken care of!
(Russell goes over to the store to see what there is to buy. Then he realizes that he doesn't have any money. So he just goes to browse.)
Nook: Hi! Welcome to Nookington's!
Russell: Ahh! I thought I disposed of you! And isn't your store supposed to be Nook's Cranny?
Nook: Well, I came here through a plothole and I went to get the money that I threw off the cliff and I used it to build Nookington's and...and and and and and...I'm saying "and" too much. And!
Russell: What do you want?
Nook: You must work here until you can pay me all back!
Russell:Are you nuts?
Nook: Yes. Yes I am.
Russell: Okaaaaay...what should I do first?
Nook: (Hands Russell several bags) You must plant flowers around the store.
Russell: Okay...
(Russell walks outside and realizes that there isn't any manure to help the flowers grow.)
Russell: Hmm...there isn't any manure to help the flowers grow...I got it!
(Russell craps on the grass and plants the flowers there. Then he wipes his butt with a leaf.)
Russell: There...that should do it!
