Mr. Director: Hello! Oh, all you fuzzy people with the button noses and the fat feet!
(Marq walks in and beats the director to death with a chair)
Mr. Director: Owww! The blood and the gore! I should stick to my day job!
Marq: Sorry I took so long to update. A lot of my other stories got removed and I don't know why, so I got really pissed and stopped writing. But now I'm back!
MY ANIMAL CROSSING LIFE
CHAPTER 5
(Russell removes the ball from his mouth...ew, that sounded wrong)
Billy: Dude! That was g-narly! (pronounces the "g")
Russell: Erm...right. I'm starving, what's there to eat in this town?
Billy: Well, there's only oranges...
Russell: Wait a minute...you guys live off fruit 24/7?
Billy: Yup.
Russell: Well, you are what you eat...
Billy: (sniffing) What's in your pocket?
Russell: (pulls out an apple, a peach, a pear, and a cherry) Oh, these? I brought them with me on the train.
Billy: (eyes turn red) PLANT THEM NOW! DON'T MAKE ME GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT!
Russell: Uh...ok?
(Russell takes his shovel, then digs a hole near the waterfall.)
Billy: (still psycho) NONONONONO NOT THERE YOU IDIOT!
(Russell digs another hole.)
Billy: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! ARE ALL HUMANS THIS STUPID? (gets whacked in the head with the shovel) Ooh...(falls to the ground)...look, there's a nice spot...
(Russell buries the fruit, then Billy.)
Russell: I'm sure I'm going to die of stress soon...
(Russell wanders through the town, falling into pitfalls, tripping over rocks, and getting stung by bees.)
Russell: I bet hell is better than this.
Voice: Oh, look at you! You're a bloody mess!
(Russell turns around, only to become face-to-face with the famous fashion model Gracie the Giraffe.)
Russell: And...who are you?
Gracie: (with an inexplicable Australian accent) You...you don't know who I am?
Russell: Nope.
Gracie: Ahhhhh! I thought everyone knew who I was! My life has no meaning! I'm going to end it all now! (jumps in the river, only to have her head surfacing) Shit.
Russell: Aaaaahahahahaha! Sucker! (walks over to the lake-type place)
Dizzy: Help me!
Russell: Sigh...what's wrong?
Dizzy: I've lost my marbles!
Russell: No duh! Everyone here has!
Dizzy: No, I mean my bag of marbles fell into the lake.
Russell: Well, they're probably long gone by now...
Dizzy: Actually, I just saw them float over to that island over there (points southeast). Could you go swim over there and get them?
Russell: And what makes you think I can swim?
Dizzy: You just said, "I can swim".
Russell: Good point. (Walks over to Acre F-5)
Kapp'n: Ahoy there, matey! Care for a ride on me dinghy?
Russell: Sure. Besides, I can't swim.
Kapp'n: O' course ye can! Dizzy told me!
Russell: God dammit! Does anything stay private in this town?
Kapp'n: If ye be wantin' a ride, ye gotta first connect yer Game Boy Advance to the GameCube, an' turn on the power.
Russell: (bewildered) ...Huh?
Kapp'n: Oh sorry, lad. I must've lost me focus fer a second. Now, what island ye wantin to be goin' to?
Russell: Oh crap! I forgot to ask Dizzy the name of the island!
Kapp'n: Alrighty, then! Shove off! We be headed to Oh crap! I forgot to ask Dizzy the name of the island Island!
Russell: NO!...er...actually, can you take me to that island over there? (points to a fairly close island)
Kapp'n: O' course, but why don't ye just swim there?
Russell: Take me to that island now before I shove your shell down your throat!
Kapp'n: Fine, fine. It be called Game Island.
(The boat leaves the dock.)
Kapp'n: (singing) Ye can't go wrong, with me cucumber song,
Cucumber, cucumber...
Russell: (singing in same notes)...that is soooooo wrong!
Kapp'n: (still singing) Fetch one for me now, lad
Ye won't be...
Russell: SHUT THE HELL UP!
