Mr. Director: Hello! Oh, all you fuzzy people with the button noses and the fat feet!

(Marq walks in and beats the director to death with a chair)

Mr. Director: Owww! The blood and the gore! I should stick to my day job!

Marq: Sorry I took so long to update. A lot of my other stories got removed and I don't know why, so I got really pissed and stopped writing. But now I'm back!


MY ANIMAL CROSSING LIFE

CHAPTER 5

(Russell removes the ball from his mouth...ew, that sounded wrong)

Billy: Dude! That was g-narly! (pronounces the "g")

Russell: Erm...right. I'm starving, what's there to eat in this town?

Billy: Well, there's only oranges...

Russell: Wait a minute...you guys live off fruit 24/7?

Billy: Yup.

Russell: Well, you are what you eat...

Billy: (sniffing) What's in your pocket?

Russell: (pulls out an apple, a peach, a pear, and a cherry) Oh, these? I brought them with me on the train.

Billy: (eyes turn red) PLANT THEM NOW! DON'T MAKE ME GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT!

Russell: Uh...ok?

(Russell takes his shovel, then digs a hole near the waterfall.)

Billy: (still psycho) NONONONONO NOT THERE YOU IDIOT!

(Russell digs another hole.)

Billy: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! ARE ALL HUMANS THIS STUPID? (gets whacked in the head with the shovel) Ooh...(falls to the ground)...look, there's a nice spot...

(Russell buries the fruit, then Billy.)

Russell: I'm sure I'm going to die of stress soon...

(Russell wanders through the town, falling into pitfalls, tripping over rocks, and getting stung by bees.)

Russell: I bet hell is better than this.

Voice: Oh, look at you! You're a bloody mess!

(Russell turns around, only to become face-to-face with the famous fashion model Gracie the Giraffe.)

Russell: And...who are you?

Gracie: (with an inexplicable Australian accent) You...you don't know who I am?

Russell: Nope.

Gracie: Ahhhhh! I thought everyone knew who I was! My life has no meaning! I'm going to end it all now! (jumps in the river, only to have her head surfacing) Shit.

Russell: Aaaaahahahahaha! Sucker! (walks over to the lake-type place)

Dizzy: Help me!

Russell: Sigh...what's wrong?

Dizzy: I've lost my marbles!

Russell: No duh! Everyone here has!

Dizzy: No, I mean my bag of marbles fell into the lake.

Russell: Well, they're probably long gone by now...

Dizzy: Actually, I just saw them float over to that island over there (points southeast). Could you go swim over there and get them?

Russell: And what makes you think I can swim?

Dizzy: You just said, "I can swim".

Russell: Good point. (Walks over to Acre F-5)

Kapp'n: Ahoy there, matey! Care for a ride on me dinghy?

Russell: Sure. Besides, I can't swim.

Kapp'n: O' course ye can! Dizzy told me!

Russell: God dammit! Does anything stay private in this town?

Kapp'n: If ye be wantin' a ride, ye gotta first connect yer Game Boy Advance to the GameCube, an' turn on the power.

Russell: (bewildered) ...Huh?

Kapp'n: Oh sorry, lad. I must've lost me focus fer a second. Now, what island ye wantin to be goin' to?

Russell: Oh crap! I forgot to ask Dizzy the name of the island!

Kapp'n: Alrighty, then! Shove off! We be headed to Oh crap! I forgot to ask Dizzy the name of the island Island!

Russell: NO!...er...actually, can you take me to that island over there? (points to a fairly close island)

Kapp'n: O' course, but why don't ye just swim there?

Russell: Take me to that island now before I shove your shell down your throat!

Kapp'n: Fine, fine. It be called Game Island.

(The boat leaves the dock.)

Kapp'n: (singing) Ye can't go wrong, with me cucumber song,
Cucumber, cucumber...

Russell: (singing in same notes)...that is soooooo wrong!

Kapp'n: (still singing) Fetch one for me now, lad
Ye won't be...

Russell: SHUT THE HELL UP!