Asuka's POV:

A sudden violent scream wakes me up from my slumber. Still feeling tired, I rub my eyes and look around me. For a moment, I was wondering to myself. Where is this place? Why am I here? Before I had time to clear up my mind, something grabs my hand and pulls me onto the bed. It happens as sudden as lightning and the next thing I know, a blue haired girl is hugging me fiercely and crying on my shoulder.

Oh yeah…I remember now…I have been helping her, haven't I? Her action is not unexpected, though it still manages to surprise me. She is still emotionally unstable after all. Her body feels sweaty again, and she is still shaking slightly. I reach up and gently rub her back with my hand. It has never occurred to me that I would be this kind to someone I used to consider as my rival. But after what happened, anyone would want to help this poor child, except Shinji.

That pathetic scum, he deserves all the insults I've thrown at him since I first came to Tokyo-3. I'm disgusted by what the commander has done, but his little idiotic son is not much better. Like father, like son. No words could describe the fury I feel against the two Ikaris.

Shinji has completely let me down.

Even worse, he has let Rei down…he has let himself down…

We stay like that for quite a while before she slowly backs away. Her delicate hands reach up and rub her eyes with her tears-streaked face looking down. It is then I notice that she is still wearing nothing. Even though we are of the same gender, I can feel my cheeks heating up.

Trying hard not to make it look awkward, I move over to her wardrobe and open it. Not surprisingly, there are only two pairs of school uniform. Nothing else is in there. So I take out one of them and help her put it on. Then I sit down next to her and look at her. Her face is still casting downwards.

"Why are you helping me?"

Her emotionless words struck me as being rude, but I try not to show my annoyance. I have to be patient with her.

"I'm helping you because you're my friend."

"Only because I'm your friend?"

"You're my friend and I care for you."

Oh my…it was hard to say those caring words to her. I look deep into her eyes. Although they look relatively dead, I could see a shimmer of hope hidden within those two red orbs.

"You never cared before. Why now?"

"You're being ignorant, aren't you?"

"Why do you say so?"

"Because that is what I think. That is what I feel. And I acknowledge my feelings."

"What is your point?"

"You feel, but you don't accept your own feelings. You do know that I'm truly concerned about you. So why do you have to question something as simple as a friendship? Every single action you took is always mechanical. You obey orders like a perfect soldier, but I do not. And that is our difference. But why am I superior to you?"

"You're not superior to me."

"Yes I am, because sometimes, I let my heart talk instead of my mind. That's what makes me greater than you. Rei, you're being too analytical. Try to accept me, Rei, as a friend."

"You don't understand me."

"I don't because you never let me. You never let anyone understand you, and that's why you are so miserable, that's why you are being abused by that bastard because you never let anyone come and help you."

"You don't understand me. You never tried. No one ever tried. No one can help me. You don't understand my situation."

"No I don't but I want to help. If you behave like this, if you don't accept friends coming into your world, then you will never break free of your misery."

"What does it matter? Who would want to befriend someone like me…"

Her voice is cracking up. I feel a bang in my heart hearing her said that.

"Rei…what are you talking about?"

"Just look at me…look at this hair, these eyes, look at my skin, can you tell? Can you see now? I'm…I'm not normal…"

"Rei, don't say that!"

"But it's true! This is why…this is why no one ever cares…this is why he left me…this is why Shinji left me here all alone…"

With that, she wraps her hands around her body and breaks into soft sobs. I want to hold her, but for some reason, I can't. Something is holding me back, although I'm not sure what.

"Shinji is not the only person. I care too. I offered you my friendship the first day I met you. But you slapped my hand away. Don't you remember?"

She slowly nods her head, but I can tell she is trying to avoid looking into my eyes. I crawl next to her and slowly embrace her. It took me a lot of courage and self control to do what I'm doing. And my reward is Rei's flow of tears wetting my shirt.

"I wish…I really wish he wouldn't look down on me…"

"Don't worry. He just needs time. He will come back eventually."

That little idiot better come back here soon, or I swear I'm going to castrate him. Rei...why is Shinji so important to her? That animal doesn't even deserve her. The Ikaris are both filthy animals!

As we stay like that for what seems like forever, I start making plans for her. I would have to bring her to Misato and hopefully she could help the poor girl. After all, I'm only a 14-year old myself, and I don't have much authority in Nerv. The major would have more resources to help Rei solve her problem. As for the commander, for someone who holds such a high position in Nerv, he surely has no respect and dignity. When this atrocity is revealed, may justice be served.

And when the time comes, I hope both Rei and I can witness his slow and painful death.

My thoughts were interrupted when Rei suddenly pushes me away. I just stare at her curiously as she takes a few deep breaths. Looking at me directly in the eyes, she asks…

"Asuka, do you know why you are piloting Eva?"

Have I mentioned how strange she sounds when she talks sometimes? Does she even have to ask that question?

"That is because I'm selected. I've proven myself. I'm selected from the elite. I'm the best."

"That is not why."

Her words are simple and her voice is soft. There isn't any hostility hidden in it, but I have never enjoyed being doubted. A surge of anger starts to build up in me until she asks me another question.

"Do you know why angels attack us?"

"They are sinister beings."

"That is not why."

That's it!! Who the hell does she think she is?! Here I am helping her and she doesn't even appreciate my effort! Standing up, I glare down at her. She better explains all this bullshit or else I am not going to act very friendly. The fury inside me is already boiling. The girl actually thinks she knows everything. There is a venomous edge to my voice in what I ask her next…

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nerv has many secrets, Asuka. There are many dark secrets being kept deep down in Terminal Dogma. And I am one of them. I am one of their many terrible secrets."

My eyes widen. Deep down I've always known that Rei knows more about Nerv than anyone of us. She starts telling me the secrets; the secrets that are being kept behind the mask that Nerv puts up. She tells me about second impact and the formation of Seele and Gehrim. She tells me about someone called Ikari Yui and how she died. She then reveals how she herself was created from salvaging that woman's genes and the genes from an angel imprisoned in Terminal Dogma.

I look at her in horror. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I feel myself backing slowly away from her. Despite noticing my reaction, she continues to speak. Her face looks very serious and sincere. But I guess the most important thing is, she still looks like the gentle girl I've known. Otherwise I would have run away. I continue to listen, even though I have no idea why she is suddenly telling me all this.

The information is too shocking. I've never realised the real reason why the pacific fleet delivering my Eva was attacked. It was attacked not because Eva-02 was there. It was attacked because Adam was on the ship. Rei informs me how Lilith was being kept inside Terminal Dogma, and how the angels sought to be united with her. Finally, she tells me about the commander's plans and how he seeks to be reunited with his dead wife. She finishes her story by describing her role in the coming Third Impact. By then, her eyes are teary once again. This is all too much. I shook my head.

"H-how do you know all these? Why was I never told?"

"Did I not tell you of my purpose?"

I still can't believe it. All this time I thought I was piloting Eva to protect mankind against these mysterious aliens which came from who-knows-where. I never thought this was just superficial, and that there were so many plots hidden in the dark. I take a look at her again. An angel-human hybrid, what have they done…They have pushed science to the limit and twisted it. And now we are receiving the consequences and the tragedy that is about to come.

I stare at Rei. For some reasons I'm not feeling scared of her. Perhaps it's because I've seen her so helpless just a few hours ago. Perhaps it's because I have come to regard her as a friend. Or perhaps there is something else…It is too hard to believe that such a gentle girl is actually half-angel. But then again, I do not know how to react. We just sit there staring at each other until sunrise.


Rei's POV:

There, I've told her everything I know. The commander has the doctor and the sub-commander on his side. But now I have the Second Child on my side. I have no doubt about her abilities. The major, the spy and the Third Child are all her friends. When the time comes, I trust that she would know what to do. She would execute it. She would do what I won't be able to do. I feel guilty for using her like this. But this is for her own good too. To protect the life of this planet, something needs to be done. Third impact would wipe out not just human beings; all the animals and plants would perish as well.

Before tonight, I never thought that I would reveal so much to her. But time is short…and I just can't endure all this misery anymore…I'm all alone now and she is the only one left I can trust. Not even Shinji is here with me…He left…it pains me horribly to admit it, but Shinji left me here…all alone…

I can't help but wonder myself. Why would I want to help humans? After how terribly I've been treated, there is no reason for me to do any good to this world. Nevertheless, I've told her and that's it. I've made my decision. Today will be the last day. Everything ends here today. I will bring everything to an end tonight.

We just sit there staring at each other. Her eyes are blue and her hair is red. She has healthy skin colour and she attracts a lot of friends in school. How I wish I were like her. It's true that she has a sad past. But her experience could not be possibly worse than mine. She had someone who cared for her. Her mother cared for her before she became insane. She had experienced the warmth of a mother. She had at least had the pleasure of calling someone her mother. It's sad that she lost her mother at such a young age. But it's better to love and lost than never. However, the thing I envy most is that she is human. And she is free.

Time goes by slowly. But soon I can see sunlight coming into the room. Asuka looks emotionless. She slowly stands up and walks away. I can feel something is missing. I can't quite decide what it is. But something is definitely missing. It feels like I have nothing to look forward to. I can feel the emptiness in my heart once again. When Shinji walked away that night, I felt a part of me died. And I'm feeling the same dreadful emotion by seeing Asuka leave my apartment and close the door behind her.

Getting out of bed, I walk slowly and carefully to the kitchen. I've not regained my full strength yet. But this is expected. I always fall sick after the commander visits me. My stomach aches and I'm feeling hungry again. I look into the fridge, expecting my half-finished bread to be in there. Instead, I find a new loaf of bread, several new jars of jam, each with different flavour, a bottle of juice, and some cakes inside. I take out the cakes and pour myself a glass of juice.

The cakes taste nice. There are cheesecake and chocolate cake. As I eat, I realise what I am missing. If Asuka was here, she would be feeding me. She would not have allowed me to get out of bed. She would be sitting beside my bed now, feeding me these cakes I'm eating. I let out a sigh. Perhaps I've grown attached to her. In this single night she showed her care for me, I've developed affection towards her. I guess I am pathetic. Shinji showed his care, and I grew to love him. Asuka showed her care, and I've now grown feelings for her. I am just like that cat. Am I being grateful? Or is this love? Or am I feeling both gratitude and love?

Whatever it is, being cared by someone makes me feel really warm. It is a nice feeling, and I really miss it.

I swallow another pill after I finished eating. Then I walk out of my apartment. I do not wish to go to school today. It would be pointless anyway. Instead, I wish to pay a visit to that meadow plain. It holds another dear memory of mine.

The roads used to be familiar as I usually move around different places by foot. But now, time seems to freeze and it feels as if I'm the only moving object. For the first time, I start paying attention to the surrounding. The tall buildings, the green trees, the cars, the blue sky, I have all the time in the world to finally inspect this city I call home.

But maybe, it's not a home at all. Is it a cage? Or a prison perhaps? I feel free at last. The freedom, I guess, is coming from what I've decided to do. The dream that woke me up, the man that took away my everything and gave me nothing but pain.

Maybe…just maybe it will eventually lead me to peace, even if I have to spread my wings and fly away…I wonder if I would be remembered.

I wonder if Ayanami Rei would be remembered.

I was still in deep thought when a piece of slow music sooths my ears. It is coming from a music store, a slow non-vocal version of "sounds of silence". Upon hearing the sad and yet beautiful melody, images of Shinji flashes in my mind. I sit down beside the street and listen closely to the music. Why did he leave? How I wish he was with me right now. I can feel the music and my soul dances to the sad tune. It stings my heart. I try not to cry.

But I didn't succeed. This is totally unfair…

After the music stops, a new song is played. That song is really loud and I can't understand what the singer is singing. Strangely enough, the owner comes over to me and asks…

"Hey kid, like this song? It's the latest rock. You like hard rock, don't you?"

I shook my head.

"The song you were playing just now…I would like to have it."

"Huh? Oh…all right. Come over to the counter."

I follow him to the counter. He wraps the CD and gives it to me. It is then I realize I only have a hundred yen in my pocket. It is not enough. I apologize and leave the store. I can hear him mumble…

"Damn punks. Nothing but troubles…"

Why do I even bother? I feel so alienated. The world freezes once more. But that is just what I assume. Maybe it is me who is frozen in time, as I do not belong to this world. But is there another world for me? The world of Angels…if there was a world like that, I wonder if I would be accepted.

But then again, I've fallen in love with a human. Shinji…

Hmm? Shinji? Is that you walking over there?

The ray of hope returns as I see spotted him walking down the pedestrian opposite the road towards…

He is heading towards my apartment? But…but why?

Has he come back? The joy! I start running across the street to him. There is nothing else I desire more than to be with him, to be loved by him. But I stop in the middle of my track.

Why do I even bother? Have I not made the decision? What's the point now? Why raise the hope? I don't want to be hurt again. There are times when the heart does not agree with the mind. There are times when they make conflicting decision.

My heart screams for me to reach him.

My mind reminds me of the sorrows and my purpose.

Not for the first time, my eyes sting and my tears flow.