A/N: Buffy's dead. Placed after season 6. Dawn's pov.
Molasses.
The ground I walk on is like molasses. It sticks to the bottom of my feet and drags me in. Everything becomes stiff and difficult and I can't get out.
I can never get out.
It's like plaque for the soul and it eats me up and tears me apart. Pieces of me are left in the syrup. I think I left my heart way back when. And now I'm just falling to pieces.
But it doesn't really matter anymore. Because once I lose everything bad. The sins. The guilt. The filth. The lies. The hatred. The emotions. Then I'll be weightless enough to soar. No more quicksand. No more falling. I'll fly through the clouds and never look back.
Because there will be nothing to look back to.
It's dark out now and I know that I've slept all day. Lately, I've realized that I'm either sleeping the day away or staying awake all night. There was never balance. Not like there used to be.
I dress myself in jeans and a t-shirt. Then I take a comb through my hair. It feels rough against my scalp and I continue.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
How many strokes does it take to make my hair shinny?
One hundred was the fairy-book rule.
Can I get that far?
I walk downstairs to find that I'm alone. Willow and Tara must be at a meeting. Checking the fridge for any notes, I find one.
"Off to Giles."
Three words. Three fucking words. Nice to know I'm worth three words. Hell, I'm not even worth a full sentence.
I decide to go out for a walk. Go to my thinking place. Where no one would see me. Not that they would look for me anywhere. They've given up on me. Given up on everything. Grabbing my jacket, I saunter out the door and into the night.
The air surrounds me like a blanket. And I'm so cold. So cold. It's seeping down into my bones and I feel like it will never get out. Like it's trapped inside. I want so much to get it out. To become free of this ice that has been laced between bones and muscles. Because it has frozen me. Frozen my insides. My heart. My brain. It's stopped the function of everything and turned me cold. Turned me heartless.
Turned me numb.
Climbing up the ladder of the Sunnydale water tower, I ignore the coldness. Though it's hard because the wind is ripping through me. I finally get to the top and I lay down on the curved ground. It's amazing how big this tower is. The surface swallows me up and makes me feel tiny. Reminds me of the big world we live in.
I found this place a couple of weeks ago. I guess I was just looking for something high. Because being close too the sky, meant being closer to Mom and Buffy. I felt connected in that sense.
And we all like to feel connected.
Staring at the night sky, I watch it change from darkness into light.
And I don't move until hours later, after the sun retreats from its highest place in the sky.
This story is, maybe, one chapter fromfinished. (As in I'vewriten them) I just have to upload the chapters and post them.
Enjoy!
