Shinji's POV:

Flashes of neon lights and buildings flew by as I sprinted through the lonely city. The darkness no longer visible; the sound of the silent night was overtaken by gush of wind across my ears. My heart felt like it was hanging on a thread.

Don't leave me.

I wanted to scream those words to her.

It had never occurred to me that I could run this fast. But there seemed to be an energy coursing throughout my body. My legs seemed to have a life of their own. Before long, even Asuka could no longer keep up with me. I ran on, leaving her behind. Each second could mean life and death for Rei. Asuka was shouting something from behind but I couldn't hear her properly.

Soon, her voice faded and the pyramid shaped Nerv headquarters came into my sight. I tried to increase my speed, but part of me couldn't help but worry at what I might witness.

What if I'm too late? What if I found her lying there on the floor, not moving and not breathing? I had never given it any thoughts before. Would I be able to live without her? I…I guess I could…with regrets…time would heal everything…wouldn't it? No…I don't want to lose her…

What was I thinking? At a time like this?

I feel ashamed to be thinking so selfishly. I ran faster, if it was even possible for me at all.

What would I do if it was too late? Would it be my fault?

I ran away from her. What would have happened if I had stayed?

No, it's too late now. If she died…

By the time I reached the entrance, the fatigue had hit me full on. It became very tempting to just lie down and rest. My muscles were no longer willingly listening to my commands. But I must move on. I must see her before it was too late. It was only through the raw power of will that stopped my body from collapsing right there and then.

Just when I was about to swipe my security card, a soft gasp broke the silence. The voice was all too familiar. My stomach did a flip. It was the voice that I had been craving to hear so much during this past hour. I was so scared that I would never get the chance to hear her again. It felt as if a rope had been cut somewhere and the rock inside me being released.

There she was, sitting on the bench safe and sound, although her face looked somewhat distressing when her eyes met mine. Slowly, still panting but feeling better, I walked towards her.

"Are you alright?" I asked. The words were hard to get out. I'm still afraid of her answer.

She continued to stare at me in the eyes, and her face gradually turned back to the neutral look people had come to associate her with so often. It was once again devoid of life and not the emotional one I had seen just a few hours ago.

"Rei, a-are you hurt? I-is everything all right?" I questioned.

My voice was shaking. Her expression had not changed. The only response she gave was staring straight ahead. A blizzard of ice hit deep into my heart as a dreaded thought crept up on my mind.

Am I…am I too late?

"Are you alright? Answer me Rei! Don't scare me like this!" Despite raising my voice, her body didn't even flinch as she heard me. I grabbed on to her shoulder and shook her back and forth. Subconsciously, I closed my eyes and began to shake her more and more violently. I wanted to know…I just wanted a response…I just wanted to know that she was safe…

What happened next came as fast and as sudden as a flash. First, two hands grabbed my arms and swung me towards the floor. Next, the world went spinning as I opened my eyes, but it became still again almost instantly. Finally, I looked up at the red-haired girl towering over me.

"You idiot! What were you doing?!" She said with gritted teeth. Before I could answer, she turned around and slapped.

Rei went tumbling to the floor.

I was surprised, but too confused to act. Asuka then knelt down beside her and began shaking Rei more violently than I had.

"What do you think you're doing?!?!?! Huh? You cheap attention whore!!!" If Rei felt annoyed by what she said, she didn't show it. Her face still looked blank.

"Stop it Asuka." I tried to calm her down. But when Rei still didn't give any response, she grabbed her by the collar and pulled her to her feet. Asuka then dragged her to a nearby drinking machine. My heart was racing a thousand miles an hour as I followed them.

Without any warning, she pushed Rei's head against the sink, turned on the tap and began splashing cold water on her head.

"Asuka stop it!" I yelled. Soon Rei's head looked like a mass of wet blue mop.

"Wake up you doll!!!" Asuka yelled even louder as Rei started to suffocate.

"Stop it!!!" I grabbed Asuka's hand and threw them away from Rei as hard as I could. But Asuka's grip was too firm and as a result, Rei was thrown to the ground.

She was completely wet on the head with droplets of water gliding down her face and dripping off from her chin and the locks of her wet hair. Her face looked haunted and her lips slightly apart. Rei looked like a spent ragged doll. It pained me seeing her like this.

As if it was the most natural thing to do, I went over to her and pulled her into a hug. Her body was still limp as we waited and waited…the seconds seemingly lasting forever.

"Did you do it, Rei?" Asuka asked when she finally calmed down. "Did you do it, Rei? Should I call Dr Akagi now?"

Did she do what? What does Dr Akagi have to do with this? Rei gently shook her head. It was the first sign she had given all night. Before I could ask her more questions, she opened her mouth and said in a low voice:

"I wish to go home…"

I was still keeping my grip on Rei when Asuka came and tried to pull her up. There were still questions racing on my mind.

"Shinji, let's take her home." Her tired voice finally broke my trance as I slowly and hesitantly let go of Rei.

Asuka was now looking worried as she took Rei's arm and put it around her own shoulder. She helped Rei get to her feet and started walking back to Rei's apartment. I quickly stood up and followed them. Pulling her other arm over my shoulder, I lifted some of her weight from Asuka as all three of us walked together into the night.

Rei is safe…she must be safe…right?

The three of us walked slowly. The quiet night made the tension and suspense almost unbearable. The only thing we could hear was our own footsteps. My body felt heavy. Walking had suddenly become a very strenuous thing to do. Nevertheless, I must hold on. Nothing could light up my darkened soul other than confirming that Rei was safe. I looked sideway at the two girls. Asuka looked back at me, and then returned to staring forward.

The blue haired girl, on the other hand, had her eyes casting downward. Even so, I doubted she was seeing anything. Her face was now even paler than usual, and her eyes a dull red. Her lips quivered slightly before she let out an explosive dry cough. If we had not been there to hold on to her body, she would have fallen down from the sudden violent outburst of that cough. Her eyes began to get watery but she was obviously trying hard to blink back the tears. I could understand how she was feeling.

Once the first tear falls, there would be no stopping the flow. But I just wish she wouldn't try to be strong. I wanted her to pour out her feelings just like yesterday when we were at the meadow plains. But even that seemed like ages ago.

By the time we reached her apartment, the city was washed over with the gentle light of sunrise. But not even the peaceful morning could hide the intense mood between the three of us. Rei's coughing had steadily become worse as we walked up the stairs. Just as we were about to open the door to her apartment, she suddenly bent down and exploded into a vicious fit of coughs. I crouched down beside her and rubbed her back. She lifted one hand over her mouth and coughed into it.

What is happening to you, Rei?

When she finally stopped, her hand revealed the sinister colour that struck deep into my mind. It was a bright red. Her hand was covered with blood. The feeling had not even sunk down when she spoke for the first time since we found her.

"I couldn't do it." Rei said with her usual quiet voice.

"You couldn't do what?" I asked.

"I've failed." Her answer made no sense.

Surprisingly, Asuka's face changed from the worried look into that of relief, although the disgusted look was still evident on her face. She gave me a reassuring nod before turning her attention back to Rei again.

"Well, that's good to hear. Tell me where you keep the pills. I'll go get them." Asuka said. What pills?

"I threw them away." Rei responded. Threw what away?

With that, she started coughing out blood again. Asuka's face paled significantly.

"Should I call Dr Akagi?" She asked. What's going on?

Rei gave no response as she struggled to get up to her feet. Bending down, I picked up her body and carried her with both my hands. I walked hastily to her apartment with Asuka following closely behind.

Once I put Rei on her bed, she waved me away and signalled for Asuka to come closer to her. Although somewhat feeling offended, I respected her wishes by standing off to the side.

I couldn't make out what they were whispering to each other. The words were exchanged in low volumes, but the conversation ended a lot quicker than I had expected. When they finished, Asuka walked towards me with a solemn look on her face.

"What's wrong, Asuka? What did she say to you?" I asked, hoping that she would tell me that Rei would be all right.

"I'm sorry, Shinji. But I'm acting on Rei's request." Asuka answered back as she walked pass me. Before I had time to figure out what she meant, I felt a blow on the back of my head, and everything blacked out after that…


Asuka's POV:

I watched as Shinji's limp body fell to the ground. He must be really worried and confused. Treating him like this was cruel, but if I let him see what was about to happen to Rei, it would leave a scar in his mind forever.

It would be best if Rei could tell him herself calmly, and I doubted Shinji would be willing to leave Rei alone tonight anyway.

Besides, this was what Rei asked me to do. And Shinji wouldn't know how lucky he was tonight.

I gave Rei a last glance. With her lying there facing towards the wall, I couldn't make out what her expression was. But her coughs had not stopped. If anything, they were getting worse. Her veins had become quite enlarged and visible. Part of me wanted to stay with her and support her throughout her supposed death; another part of me wanted to run away as far as possible, terrified of what was to come next.

Regretfully, I think my feeling was inclined towards the latter thought.

Her flesh would rot soon; she would wake up in the tank deep inside terminal dogma. The knowledge was disturbing. For a moment I felt anger towards her stupidity, but what would I have done if I were in her place?

I grabbed Shinji by the collar and pulled him out of the door. We took a cab back to Misato's apartment after that, leaving Rei behind.

Once back in my room, I picked up the letter that Rei had left me and lied down on my bed. I read it over and over again. I now understood why she had told me so much information earlier in her apartment.

Rei, do you really think I could do that? Do you really think I am that capable? When I first read this letter, do you know how scared and worried I was?

I hated you, Rei. I wanted to get to know you, but just when I was about to succeed, you told me about your own tragic life, and everything sinister that Nerv was trying to accomplish. For a moment I didn't know how to feel. But when I realised that I might lose you forever, I felt an emotion that I've always known, but have never admitted.

The very same emotion I felt when Shinji was trapped inside the twelfth angel; the very same emotion I felt when Toji was severely beaten by a berserk Unit-01; the very same emotion I felt when you tried to blow yourself up during the fourteenth angel.

Why am I admitting these emotions…? Why now…?

Maybe…maybe because of the four walls that surround me…

Maybe because no one is listening…

No one can hear me…so I'm not ashamed…is that true?

What is it that I want? I am willing to take up the burden of the mission you gave me, but only if you are fighting alongside me, do you understand? Do I understand? Acknowledgement, success and popularity are not what I seek. Can I finally understand? What I want are love and care of those close to me. I do not want to lose another person that I've come to love.

And Rei, I guess you've made me understand that this time.

Shinji, Rei, Misato, Kaji, Hikari, and even Toji and Kensuke, they are all I have. They are friends who I can finally admit that I've come to love. And if I can't protect them, then what good am I? I remember when Shinji came in the last second to grab my hand, saving me from the boiling lava during the incident with the eighth angel. And I remember how you rescued me by destroying the fifteenth angel. The love and care that I seek so desperately have been just around me all along.

And now what I must do is to protect them, and hold them close to me.

Gendo and Seele are hard to tackle. But I believe we have something that they don't. We have trust between us, and the readiness to sacrifice ourselves for each other.

Don't worry Rei, I will help you. Hang in there and fight alongside me.

I said to myself. Surprisingly, I'm not angry at what I had just admitted. It all seems right.

Finally?

Yes…someone to replace mother in my heart…

And I know I don't want to lose them again.