Authoress' Notes: Ah, here it is! Chapter 3 of "Chuigi's Seriously Messed Up Mansion!" I've decided to put each each Area into a Chapter, like a reviwer suggested, meaning the story might be over by Chapter 5... Aw... Oh, well, have fun with it while you can.


Chuigi's Seriously Messed-Up Mansion!

Chapter 3: The Mansion That Once and Probably Still Does Belong to Chuigi!


Da First Floor!

After taking a break in E. Gadd's shack, Chuigi was ready to go out and face the world! ...Well, not really...

"Ok... lesse..." Chuigi took Chauncey's Big Pink Key Thing and unlocked the door leading into the second area! YAY!

Area Two!

Teh Hallway!

Chuigi looked around and sighed. "Why the hell is it always so damn dark around here?"

Annoyed, Chuigi walked down the hallway, trying to open any door he happened to find, but they were all locked! Damn!

Chuigi suddenly had the urge to pee! It was probably because he had drank so much orange juice while he was at E. Gadd's! Fortunately, Chuigi found teh Bathroom near the end of teh Hallway! Sweet!

Teh Bathroom!

As soon as Chuigi walked in, he was bombarded with Duskulls!

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" One shouted! "Fear us, little man! FEAR USSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Chuigi didn't have time to be scared, but the ghost did surprise him, causing him to pee on one of the random Duskulls! How gross and cool at the same time!

The Duskull shook himself off! "Aw, WHAT THE HELL? Morty, you said he'd shit himself, not squirt on us!"

Another Duskull sweatdropped. "RUN AWAY!"

Then, they, like, disappeared!

"Eh," Chuigi got the random key that was on the floor, then he left! At he didn't have to go anymore now!

Teh Hallway!

Walking down teh Hallway, Chuigi put the key in the lock of the first door the that had run into! And look! The door opened!

Teh Ball Room!

The very second Chuigi stepped inside, creepy porno music started playing... AND IT SOUNDED LIKE IT WAS COMING FROM THE WALLS!

Chuigi shook his head. "What the hell? Creepy? There's no such thing as creepy porno music! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Oh, no it's not!" Someone responded!

"Eh?"

Chuigi looked ahead in the ridicously dark room just to see the ghosts of a Nidoking AND a Nidoqueen dancing in the middle of the floor! It was creepy! REALLY creepy!

The Nidoking turned about! "Ah, yes! We shall dance! AND DANCE! Then... um..."

"Dance?" the Nidoqueen added, sweatdropping.

"...YEAH! THAT, TOO!" he continued twirling around!

To make things even worse, Shy Guys ghosts appeared out of nowhere and started doing the Cha-Cha Slide!

Chuigi frowned! "This is stupid!"

Going over to a light switch, he flipped it on, stunning the Floating Whirlindas and making the Shy Guy ghosts disappear!

"Oh, dear! Who turned on the lights? THE FLOATING WHIRLINDAS ALWAYS DANCE IN THE DARK! It's more sexy that way!" the Nidoking roared!

Ignoring his question, Chuigi sucked up the Nidos, surprised that they both counted as 1 ghost instead of 2!

"Wow, that must mean they're really close to each other... HOW SICKENING!" Chuigi grumbled, taking the key out of the chest that came out of nowhwere!

Teh Storage Room!

Walking in the room, Chuigi saw the room was dark and full of ghosts... yawn. He sucked them up and the lights came on. Yay.

Then, Chuigi saw a button on the wall that read, "DANGER! DO NOT PUSH! HEY YOU! DON'T PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON! I THOUGHT I JUST SAID, 'DON'T PUSH!' SHIT! GET AWAY FROM HERE! DDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR! CAN YOU READ?'!"

Too drunk to read, Chuigi pushed the button anyway, WHOOPS!

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! The room expanded and showed a thing in the floor and a poster on the wall with a Boo on it!

Once again, Chuigi was too drunk to read and see that it said, 'LOOK, I TOLD YOU LAST TIME NOT TO PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON, BUT YOU DID, YOU ASS! DON'T DO IT AGAIN! NO! STOP! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS DARK AND SPOOKY! OK, THAT'S IT! FORGET YOU! GO AHEAD AND PUSH! AND SUFFERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!' so he pushed it!

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The thing in the middle of the floor opened up and BOOS CAME FLYING OUT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Of course, Chuigi wasn't phased, so he just stood there and looked at all the crazy flying Boos all over the place!

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! WE ISH FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"YEAH, AND THERE'S CHUIGI! LET'S MAKE HIM SHIT THE FLOOR! IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!"

"BUT, WAIT! IT'S THAT...SUCKING THING! RUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

And just like that, all the Boos were gone!

"...well, shit," Chuigi mumbled.

Then, E. Gadd called! And he was pissed! Well, kinda...

"Holy shit, Chuigi! Those Boos took Pikario, I think... Why didn't you catch them?" he asked!

"I was sidetracked! One of them had a gun!" Chuigi lied!

"REALLY?" Gadd was surprised!" Damn! Quick! Back to the lab!"


So, Chuigi was magically transported to the shack with the powers of nonsense!

"Hi, Weege," Priss greeted! "The professor said that your GBH can beused to catch Boos! Okay, bye bye!"

And she threw Chuigi all the way back to the mansion!


Da First Floor!

Teh Foyer!

Chuigi saw Shroomish, but he ignored him and went upstairs!

Da Second Floor!

Chuigi was upstairs! HOORAY!

Teh Anteroom!

Somehow ending up in teh Anteroom, Chuigi saw a Boo!

"What the hell?" Chuigi groaned. "That's it, ghost! YOU DIE NOW... AGAIN!"

So, he sucked up the poor unfortuante Boo thing, then went on to suck up the other ones just cause he was bored! Sometime later, Gadd called!

"Good work, dude! All the Boos you caught are here with me and they're very drunk!" Gadd unformed the Pichu!

"And that's good because...?"

Gadd sweatdropped. "I DON'T KNOW! Just go to teh Washroom! I think they have viagra in there!"

Chuigi sped off to the Washroom in Area 2!

Teh Washroom!

Sadly, he realised that there was no viagra in there, so he got mad!

"Damn E. Gadd, you little bastard!" Chuigi rampaged!

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" a random Shroomish cried!

Chuigi rolled his eyes! "Not again!"

"Chuigi!" the Shroomish whined. "I was running away from the evil shoes in teh Hallway, so I ran in here and then I dropped something really important in the toilet!"

Chuigi frowned. "Look, man... no matter WHAT the hell it was, it's in a better place..."

Shroomish glared at Chuigi. "Dude, I was kidding..."

After a few more minutes of glaring, Chuigi kicked Shroomish in the nuts, then ran off with a key he found behing the toilet!

Teh Fortune-Teller's Room!

Walking in, Chuigi took out his flashlight, shining it on something shiny! Thinking it was was money, he ran over to get it! Then, POOF!

"What the hell?" Chuigi backed away!

A ghostly Medicham appeared in the chair!

"WOOSH! MWAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed! "I am Madame Clairvoya! FEAR ME!"

"How about no? I'm gonna catch you instead," Chuigi replied.

Clairvoya slapped Chuigi! "You can't do that yet! Now, go into the next room, before I kill you, you little pest!

Teh Mirror Room!

Realising where he was, Chuigi sweatdropped.

"A room for mirrors? What the fuck?"

So, he killed ghosts and shit, then POW! A box came up! It had the Fire Element Medal!

Then, E. Gadd called! "Hey, Chuigi! That thing you found will let you blow fire now! Okay, bye!"

"Sweet!" Chuigi ran around, setting stuff on fire!

Teh Fortune-Teller's Room!

Chuigi busted in and started setting stuff on fire!

Clairvoya got mad and put the fire out! "Hey! Don't be starting that shit up in here!"

"Shaddup!" Chuigi demanded!

"That's it!" Clairvoya threw Chuigi out! "And don't come back!"

Teh Laundry Room!

For no apparent reason,Chuigi kicked a nearby washing machine in annoyance! Then POOF! Pikario's hat flew out!

Chuigi picked it up and frowned at it. "What the hell? Pikario's hat?"

Just then, Chuigi's GBH went off again! Chuigi picked it up, ready to cuss Gadd out but good!

"Chuigi!"

"...Pikario?" Chuigi was confused, yet mad at the same time! "What the hell are you doing calling me? You're supposed to be captured by the evil Boos around here!"

"Shut the hell up, Chuigi!" Pikario barked from the other end of the line. "Look, I'm trapped in this evil mirror thing and King Boo is torturing me!"

"So?" Chuigi scoffed.

Pikario was outraged! "So, my ass! This son of a bitch's making me watch strangly educated shows like TELETUBBIES!"

"Wow..." Chuigi snorted. "That's tough, but I'm still not saving you!"

"DAMN IT, CHUIGI! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR LITTLE ASS DOWN HERE AND GET RID OF THIS GUY, YOUR HANGOVER WILL BE HELL!" Pikario threatened!

"..." Chuigi sweatdropped.

"Well?" Pikario asked.

"Fine, you little fuck, but you better give me those pills when I find you! The last time I had a hangover, I went into a coma for almost 2 weeks! Booze is some powerful shit, man!" Chuigi griped.

Just then, King Boo saw Pikario on the phone! "HEY, YOU! GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE! YOU DO KNOW THAT THE VERIZON WIRELESS MAN IS ON THE PROWL TONIGHT, RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT?"

"Shit!" So, Pikario hung up!

Teh Hallway!

Sometime later, Chuigi was walking around in teh Hallway, when suddenly, he ran into someone!

"Ah, yes," the ghostly Sceptile thought outloud. "I shall one day get Melody into my bed... then we'll go from there! MWAHAHAHA!"

"Bitch! Look where you're going!" Chuigi set Shivers on fire!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Shivers ran... uh, floated back to teh Laundry Room, with Chuigi following!

Teh Butler's Room!

Chuigi chased Shivers all the way back to his room and cornered him!

"Now, you die!" And Chuigi killed Shivers again by sucking him up!

W00t! Now, that's done! Let's get the key and go somewhere else!Chuigi also found teh Hidden Room, but that's not important right now!

Teh Conservatory!

Upon entering, Chuigi saw drums and shit!

"Time to break some stuff!" Chuigi smirked, going around and hitting all the insturments!

When he was done, Melody appeared, playing the piano AWFULLY!

"Hee hee hee! My, oh my! You have such a way with music!" Melody sang! "Listen to mine!"

She banged on the piano, making some god-awful song, then turned to Chuigi! "Now, what was that?"

Chuigi shrugged. "A musical interlude from hell?"

Melody was happy! "That's right! Yay!"

"..." Chuigi was tiredof music, so he sucked her up! Cue key to another room!

Teh Dining Room!

Chuigi covered his nose! "Damn! Smells like shit in here!"

He soon found out why, too! A big, fat Snorlax ghost was at a huge dining table! He had bananas, fruit, meatballs, pizza, ceral boxes, and meatloaf all over the place! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Walking up to the Snorlax, Chuigi threw the bananas he stole from the Gengar at him! He looked angrily!

"NOT WHEN I, THE GREAT MR. LUGGS, IS EATING! JUST WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!" he belched!

"Holy shit!" Chuigi moaned, rubbing meatloaf off his face! "You're going down!"

Chuigi eventually ended up catching Mr. Luggs, but not before getting pwned by a bunch of Fire Blasts from Mr. Luggs! Ouch! It must burn! But, he did get the key and go on!

Teh Kitchen!

Chuigi opened the refridgerator and found 3 DAY OLD OATMEAL! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! After that, he saw that a door was a fire! Then, he found the Water Element Medal! Whoopie!

"Hey! That thing lets you squirt water!" Gadd informed Chuigi, then left!

So, Chuigi put the flaming door out and went outside!

Teh Boneyard!

"What the fuck?" Chuigi wondered, going out. There was a doghouse! Uh oh!

Chuigi ignored it, though; he never really liked dogs. Instead, he started playing around with his new Water Element Medal!

"The next time I see that crazy Medicham, she's gonna get her ass SOAKED! HAHAHAHAHA!" Chuigi plotted evilly!

All of Chuigi's evil plotting woke up Spooky the Houndoom, and he was a HOUNDOOM! Those things are scary! Chuigi's ass is toast for sure, now!

Sppoky chased Chuigi around the Boneyard! "WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW!WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW! WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW!"

"Damn dog! Go lick youself or something! Get away!" Chuigi threw the P-3000 at Spooky, but it didn't work!

Spooky was mad! "WOOF, BARK, ARF, BOW-WOW!"

Just then, Mr. Bones appeared! He was the ghost of the skeleton of a Marowak... Yep, Chuigi is totally wasted!

"SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" Mr. Bones threw a bone at Spooky ad knocked him out!

Chuigi took this to his advantage and sucked up the evil devil dog! There was no key this time! Now what?

Playing around with the GBH, Chuigi somehow ended up somewhere else! OMUHGAWD!

Teh Graveyard!

There's no point in explaining what happened in teh Graveyard! It was way too scary! Let's just say the things that happened included chciken, feet, trees, lizards, condoms, potatos, the GBH, Chuigi's left ear, a hot dog, the Very Old Door Thingy, an evil demon from hell, and a broken mop!

Anyway, Chuigi ended up fighting Bogmire!

"So we meet again, Bogmire!" Chuigi shouted!

Bogmire sweatdropped. "What are you talking about 'again'? I don't even know who the hell you are, so who the hell are you?"

"I'll rip your fucking ankles off!" Chuigi spat!

"I don't have any fucking ankles!" Bogmire protested!

Okay, this is going nowhere, so let's just say Chuigi ended up defeating Bogmire because if he didd't, the story would end here and a lot of people would be pissed at me! Coming back to teh Graveyard, Chuigi got a another big ass key! W00t! And this time, it was green!

Then, E. Gadd called! "Sweet job, Chuigi! Now get your ass back here and let's celebrate!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Chuigi mumbled, leaving!


Back at the shack, Chuigi and E. Gadd played Super Smash Bros. Melee and Chuigi was winning with Kirby, because I wuv him so much!

"Hey, Chuigi! The ghosts are pictures again!" Gadd said, after killing Samus as Pichu! HA HA!

"..." Chuigi got Kirby to kick Gadd's ass! Yay!

Teh Secret Chamber of Secretness!

Pikario shook his head! "I think Po is the cutest!"

King Boo frowned. "No way in hell! Tinky-Winky rules all! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up!"

"You!"

"You!"

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!"


Authoress' Notes: Okay, that's it! I didn't include the Boos very much because I'm kinda lazy right now... I might do it next Chapter, but I highly doubt it. Anyway, Review and inspire me to make Chapter 4!