Blood Omen 2: part.1 Kain's parody begins.
Me: Well hello and welcome to a parody of yet another Legacy of Kain game. I decided to make this at the same time as my Soul Reaver 2 parody, so I could get them out quick. I'm also gonna start an original story, which will star my pen name as a hero, you may like it. I'm also gonna do a Silent Hill 2 parody, and one more thing, does anyone know how to get a new game into the category? I want to make a Summoner parody and maybe even one to another game series, If any of you do please tell me how and I will teach you how to master an even more powerful weapon than the Morph-blade.
Kain: Are we gonna start yet?
Me: Yes soon, I just needed to get that question out.
Kain: Dammit! Another parody of my exploits and Light and the other people who have done BO2 parodies aren't even done yet.
Me: Oh get used to it. Well here's the new parody - Blood Omen 2: a parody.
************************************************************************
That video that plays before the main screens plays: It opens with Kain lying on the bed turning while dreaming, we then see his dream. He is walking away from the Pillars as they fall apart while carrying the Soul Reaver, he is laughing his ass off, as he placed a sign out near them saying: Kain wuz' here! We then see him in a room on a chair, he is reading a por- er he's plotting, he then gets up and walks to a table with a map on it, Vorador is standing there *Isn't he supposed to be dead?* and so is some other vampire, Kain bumps into the table, stubbing his toe and hopping up and down in pain, all of his men laugh and he then gives them a glare and they stop, he then pulls out tiny figurines of him and the vampire, plus little human figures and tiny toy castles, he then begins to play with them. Explaining the battle plan while making the toys beat each other up, every one gives him a confused look, he then points to a location on the map, it is a city called "Meridian" suddenly the place he points to burst into flames, instead of this being a neat pan effect it also sets him on fire, so his screams are heard while the cool little scenes of the vampire killing humans plays. We then see a scene where an army is standing outside the city, many are hold signs saying: "Vampires, GO AWAY!" and "GO BACK". Their leader is some bald dude wearing gold armor and his head seems to be on fire with green flames. We then see Kain who seems a bit drunk and his troops marching, they stop just a few feet from the humans, both Kain and the bald green flaming head guy glare at each other.ten minutes later Kain makes a roar or some thing and raises the Soul Reaver, his men spring into the air and the battle begins, while the two armies fight, he leaps into the air and begins to fight human's leader, they block each others swing, eventually Kain is back up to a cliff, his foot slips and the bald guy slashes him across the chest, Kain is sent flying, dropping the Reaver, he falls while screaming with an over exagerated flaming background, we then see the video end with the bald guy about to pick up the reaver and then the scene returns to Kain asleep still turning in bed from this dream.
(Now the words before the opening scene appear.)
FOUR HUNDRED YEARS AFTER THE NOBLEMAN KAIN WAS CURSED TO WALK THE NIGHT AS A VAMPIRE AND SUFFER THROUGH NUMERIOUS PARODIES AND CENTURIES BEFORE KAIN WOULD SUFFER A PARODY OF HIS LIUTENANT RAZIEL'S.
HIS PATH OF CONQUEST IS STOPPED BY A BALD FLAMING HEAD GUY
THE PILLARS OF NOSGOTH ARE NOTING BUT HUNKS OF ROCKS NOW VAMPIRES SKIP MARELY ACROSS THE LAND AND SING ONCE AGAIN AND THE HUMILIATING PARODY OF LEAGACY OF KAIN CONTINUES.
(The scene fades in with Kain lying in bed stirring in voice over.)
Kain V.O: From the shards of tattered dreams, I rose - unwilling. JUST three more hours mommy! Tossed upon tides of hangovers that flowed and ebbed and left me groggily awake. And more revoltingly - alive. It was then I saw her, for the first time.
(We see a vampiress leaning against the doorway; her head is slumped in sleep.)
Kain: *Coughs lightly*
Vampiress: *Wakes with a jolt* AHH! Oh you're awake. Already you scared the crap out of me.
Kain V.O: My mind was in fragments like shattered stone *Now talking* Where the hell am I? I . I don't have damn clue.
Vampiress: Hey you know that you can ask nicely you know. It was said that you had history of drinking problems and that your memory would be affected from your last binge. That ought to return after the hangover clears. I am Umah, and I am here to help you. Know that name is Sally, and that you were once the biggest slut in all the land.
Kain: Um actually, it's Kain.
Umah: Oh sorry, know that you were once a Power in the land.
(Kain rises out of bed.)
Kain: I know my name. But my past - I remember fragments only.
Umah: You awaking at all is a miracle. When we found you, passed out and smelling like piss, there was barely any life left in you. We nurtured it and now you rise again.
Kain: What is this crap hole?
Umah: Hey this is my house you ass! You are in the city of Meridian, capital of the land of Nosgoth, the land you wanted all to your self. Tell me, since you remember your name, do you also remember your nature?
Kain: of course, frolicking in fields and watching Barney.
(Umah slaps him in the head a few times, Kain shakes his head and bears his fangs.)
Kain: Oh yeah, Blood.
(He then follows Umah who walks out to the balcony, staring at her you-know- what.)
Kain: ^_^ oh. sexy.
(She turns around while placing her hands over her butt.)
Umah: O.O PERVERT!
(Slaps Kain silly.)
Kain: Ow.
Umah: *Glaring* Then let me show you the future. You have been in a coma for two hundred years. This is what has become of the world.
(Kain looks out and looks at the city.)
Kain: Looks even crappier than New York.
Umah: You were a great general, if you look over the drunken part, commanding an army of vampires, but you pissed off the wrong guy. You were owned old school, your armies got their butts kicked, scattered and destroyed. Everyone believed you to be dead.
Kain: Who kicked my ass?
Umah: The Sarafan. An army of jackasses sworn to destroy us. A new leader revived the order; he wielded green magic that hurts like a bitch and makes you uncontrollably sing swing songs for several moments. It's deadly to us. You were defeated in Mortal Kombat by this leader, the Sarafan Lord, Moebius' ex-boyfriend. But that is not all, they looked as if they were just keeping the peace, but really their even bigger asses than what we were. For two centuries they have enslaved the humans, and have hunted down our kind to near extinction.
Kain: Oh $#*T not again. They have not yet succeeded.
Umah: Not yet, with your help, it is our hope to stop them and restore order.
Kain: The natural order? Vampires hitting up on humans for lunch money?
Umah: Um. I was more to us preying on them.
Kain: You said 'our hope'. Who are you?
Umah: We are the Cabal.
Kain: That Jewish thing?
Umah: No! You idiot, we're a Vampire resistance. We work to stop those jerks, but we're losing with that new magic of theirs, the Glyph Magic, they are able to find us and kill us. Our numbers are dwindling. We are so screwed. We need your help.
Kain: Oh crap I knew you didn't revive for the hell of it, what do I have to do?
Umah: Simple help us. They know all of our faces from the annual Christmas greeting card, but not yours, you supposedly being dead and all.
Kain: What do I get out of it?
Umah: I guess you could try and take over the world again.
Kain: Ok.
Umah: Don't you want to kill the bald guy?
Kain: I remember that I played the pawn once before, it ended badly.
(Remembers some thing that happened that I don't want say because I will be doing BO parody some time.)
Umah: This time you will prevail. We are nice guys, not jerks. We want is simple. If you succeed, we do too.
Kain: Are you asking me to trust you?
Umah: Yep.
(Kain leans forward but stumbles and his face lands right into Umah's 'twins'.)
Kain: *Muffled* Hellllooooo baby!
(Umah throws him off of her.)
Umah: Get of there! Not while we're outside!
Kain: Sorry. I care not for dangers! They will be scared of me! Tell me where baldy is and I will kick his ass before dawn.
(Umah raises a hand.)
Umah: Such pigheadedness. If it were that easy we would have done. You are too weak. He is well protected. He even has vampires working for him.
Kain: Vampires in service to the Sarafan? Are they nuts?
Umah: Pretty much.
Kain: They will pay.oh they will pay.
(He is suddenly in pain, he bends forward, Umah sees this.)
Kain V.O: My senses spun, I felt sick, dizzy.dizzy @_@
Umah: You have the thirst upon you. Come vampire. It is time for you to feed, and I know just what do.
(She winks and nods her head to the room.)
Kain: *Catches her message* ^.^ OhYes...
(He follows Umah into the room, she closes the balcony doors and they uh. get 'jiggy' with it.)
************************************************************************
Me: Well I hope you liked it.
(Moaning and other naughty things can be heard upstairs.)
Me: Yo! Keep it down you two!
(I bang a broom on the ceiling.)
Me: Well any way, I plan to do more of this soon, and more of SR2 parody also. I also have came up with a twisted little fic: Little Red riding Kain.
Please review and I will teach cool moves; also I left a surprise for you all at the Chronoplast time chamber.
Bye!
Me: Well hello and welcome to a parody of yet another Legacy of Kain game. I decided to make this at the same time as my Soul Reaver 2 parody, so I could get them out quick. I'm also gonna start an original story, which will star my pen name as a hero, you may like it. I'm also gonna do a Silent Hill 2 parody, and one more thing, does anyone know how to get a new game into the category? I want to make a Summoner parody and maybe even one to another game series, If any of you do please tell me how and I will teach you how to master an even more powerful weapon than the Morph-blade.
Kain: Are we gonna start yet?
Me: Yes soon, I just needed to get that question out.
Kain: Dammit! Another parody of my exploits and Light and the other people who have done BO2 parodies aren't even done yet.
Me: Oh get used to it. Well here's the new parody - Blood Omen 2: a parody.
************************************************************************
That video that plays before the main screens plays: It opens with Kain lying on the bed turning while dreaming, we then see his dream. He is walking away from the Pillars as they fall apart while carrying the Soul Reaver, he is laughing his ass off, as he placed a sign out near them saying: Kain wuz' here! We then see him in a room on a chair, he is reading a por- er he's plotting, he then gets up and walks to a table with a map on it, Vorador is standing there *Isn't he supposed to be dead?* and so is some other vampire, Kain bumps into the table, stubbing his toe and hopping up and down in pain, all of his men laugh and he then gives them a glare and they stop, he then pulls out tiny figurines of him and the vampire, plus little human figures and tiny toy castles, he then begins to play with them. Explaining the battle plan while making the toys beat each other up, every one gives him a confused look, he then points to a location on the map, it is a city called "Meridian" suddenly the place he points to burst into flames, instead of this being a neat pan effect it also sets him on fire, so his screams are heard while the cool little scenes of the vampire killing humans plays. We then see a scene where an army is standing outside the city, many are hold signs saying: "Vampires, GO AWAY!" and "GO BACK". Their leader is some bald dude wearing gold armor and his head seems to be on fire with green flames. We then see Kain who seems a bit drunk and his troops marching, they stop just a few feet from the humans, both Kain and the bald green flaming head guy glare at each other.ten minutes later Kain makes a roar or some thing and raises the Soul Reaver, his men spring into the air and the battle begins, while the two armies fight, he leaps into the air and begins to fight human's leader, they block each others swing, eventually Kain is back up to a cliff, his foot slips and the bald guy slashes him across the chest, Kain is sent flying, dropping the Reaver, he falls while screaming with an over exagerated flaming background, we then see the video end with the bald guy about to pick up the reaver and then the scene returns to Kain asleep still turning in bed from this dream.
(Now the words before the opening scene appear.)
FOUR HUNDRED YEARS AFTER THE NOBLEMAN KAIN WAS CURSED TO WALK THE NIGHT AS A VAMPIRE AND SUFFER THROUGH NUMERIOUS PARODIES AND CENTURIES BEFORE KAIN WOULD SUFFER A PARODY OF HIS LIUTENANT RAZIEL'S.
HIS PATH OF CONQUEST IS STOPPED BY A BALD FLAMING HEAD GUY
THE PILLARS OF NOSGOTH ARE NOTING BUT HUNKS OF ROCKS NOW VAMPIRES SKIP MARELY ACROSS THE LAND AND SING ONCE AGAIN AND THE HUMILIATING PARODY OF LEAGACY OF KAIN CONTINUES.
(The scene fades in with Kain lying in bed stirring in voice over.)
Kain V.O: From the shards of tattered dreams, I rose - unwilling. JUST three more hours mommy! Tossed upon tides of hangovers that flowed and ebbed and left me groggily awake. And more revoltingly - alive. It was then I saw her, for the first time.
(We see a vampiress leaning against the doorway; her head is slumped in sleep.)
Kain: *Coughs lightly*
Vampiress: *Wakes with a jolt* AHH! Oh you're awake. Already you scared the crap out of me.
Kain V.O: My mind was in fragments like shattered stone *Now talking* Where the hell am I? I . I don't have damn clue.
Vampiress: Hey you know that you can ask nicely you know. It was said that you had history of drinking problems and that your memory would be affected from your last binge. That ought to return after the hangover clears. I am Umah, and I am here to help you. Know that name is Sally, and that you were once the biggest slut in all the land.
Kain: Um actually, it's Kain.
Umah: Oh sorry, know that you were once a Power in the land.
(Kain rises out of bed.)
Kain: I know my name. But my past - I remember fragments only.
Umah: You awaking at all is a miracle. When we found you, passed out and smelling like piss, there was barely any life left in you. We nurtured it and now you rise again.
Kain: What is this crap hole?
Umah: Hey this is my house you ass! You are in the city of Meridian, capital of the land of Nosgoth, the land you wanted all to your self. Tell me, since you remember your name, do you also remember your nature?
Kain: of course, frolicking in fields and watching Barney.
(Umah slaps him in the head a few times, Kain shakes his head and bears his fangs.)
Kain: Oh yeah, Blood.
(He then follows Umah who walks out to the balcony, staring at her you-know- what.)
Kain: ^_^ oh. sexy.
(She turns around while placing her hands over her butt.)
Umah: O.O PERVERT!
(Slaps Kain silly.)
Kain: Ow.
Umah: *Glaring* Then let me show you the future. You have been in a coma for two hundred years. This is what has become of the world.
(Kain looks out and looks at the city.)
Kain: Looks even crappier than New York.
Umah: You were a great general, if you look over the drunken part, commanding an army of vampires, but you pissed off the wrong guy. You were owned old school, your armies got their butts kicked, scattered and destroyed. Everyone believed you to be dead.
Kain: Who kicked my ass?
Umah: The Sarafan. An army of jackasses sworn to destroy us. A new leader revived the order; he wielded green magic that hurts like a bitch and makes you uncontrollably sing swing songs for several moments. It's deadly to us. You were defeated in Mortal Kombat by this leader, the Sarafan Lord, Moebius' ex-boyfriend. But that is not all, they looked as if they were just keeping the peace, but really their even bigger asses than what we were. For two centuries they have enslaved the humans, and have hunted down our kind to near extinction.
Kain: Oh $#*T not again. They have not yet succeeded.
Umah: Not yet, with your help, it is our hope to stop them and restore order.
Kain: The natural order? Vampires hitting up on humans for lunch money?
Umah: Um. I was more to us preying on them.
Kain: You said 'our hope'. Who are you?
Umah: We are the Cabal.
Kain: That Jewish thing?
Umah: No! You idiot, we're a Vampire resistance. We work to stop those jerks, but we're losing with that new magic of theirs, the Glyph Magic, they are able to find us and kill us. Our numbers are dwindling. We are so screwed. We need your help.
Kain: Oh crap I knew you didn't revive for the hell of it, what do I have to do?
Umah: Simple help us. They know all of our faces from the annual Christmas greeting card, but not yours, you supposedly being dead and all.
Kain: What do I get out of it?
Umah: I guess you could try and take over the world again.
Kain: Ok.
Umah: Don't you want to kill the bald guy?
Kain: I remember that I played the pawn once before, it ended badly.
(Remembers some thing that happened that I don't want say because I will be doing BO parody some time.)
Umah: This time you will prevail. We are nice guys, not jerks. We want is simple. If you succeed, we do too.
Kain: Are you asking me to trust you?
Umah: Yep.
(Kain leans forward but stumbles and his face lands right into Umah's 'twins'.)
Kain: *Muffled* Hellllooooo baby!
(Umah throws him off of her.)
Umah: Get of there! Not while we're outside!
Kain: Sorry. I care not for dangers! They will be scared of me! Tell me where baldy is and I will kick his ass before dawn.
(Umah raises a hand.)
Umah: Such pigheadedness. If it were that easy we would have done. You are too weak. He is well protected. He even has vampires working for him.
Kain: Vampires in service to the Sarafan? Are they nuts?
Umah: Pretty much.
Kain: They will pay.oh they will pay.
(He is suddenly in pain, he bends forward, Umah sees this.)
Kain V.O: My senses spun, I felt sick, dizzy.dizzy @_@
Umah: You have the thirst upon you. Come vampire. It is time for you to feed, and I know just what do.
(She winks and nods her head to the room.)
Kain: *Catches her message* ^.^ OhYes...
(He follows Umah into the room, she closes the balcony doors and they uh. get 'jiggy' with it.)
************************************************************************
Me: Well I hope you liked it.
(Moaning and other naughty things can be heard upstairs.)
Me: Yo! Keep it down you two!
(I bang a broom on the ceiling.)
Me: Well any way, I plan to do more of this soon, and more of SR2 parody also. I also have came up with a twisted little fic: Little Red riding Kain.
Please review and I will teach cool moves; also I left a surprise for you all at the Chronoplast time chamber.
Bye!
