Blood Omen 2 - Chapter 3: Gates that make you sing and
hyperactive Vamps.
Me: Hello everyone. As I said I am trying to get new chapters out sooner.
Kain: I am no dog!
Me: SIT!
(Kain does so obediently.)
Me: Roll over.
(Kain rolls around.)
Me: Fetch.
(I chuck Moebius about a hundred feet from me, Kain chases after. He returns with Moebius, in his teeth by the neck.)
Me: Good boy. In this chapter I will show what Umah meant when the ward gates cause uncontrollable singing/
(Turns back to Kain, who begins to maul Moebius, who screams and pleas for help.)
Me: well here today's installment, pt. 3!
************************************************************** *************************
(We come from when Kain had fallen flat on his face. He picks himself up and heads to where Umah is; she is standing on a small platform. He sees a device on the wall in front of him.)
Kain: What the hell is that? And what magic is it?
Umah: This is Glyph energy, a new kind of magic that was brought in when the Sarafan came and kicked our butts. It supplies power and porn access to all of Meridian. The gate you see can be opened by this energy. Activate the Glyph box. This will send power to the lever and then you can switch off the gate.
(Kain does as he is told.)
Umah: Well done. The Glyphs are operated by those bald guys over there. They are called Glyphwrights - a secret society existing within Meridian. You may see them a few times, given that the game only shows them about four or five times. They are jerks for they rarely talk to people and where they came from is unknown. Ahead is the market where the usual freaks go and have their cockfights. Beyond is the bridge that leads to the lower city. Get your ass east of the bridge; I will meet you there.
Kain: Where do you think your going?
Umah: I don't to be around while you just waste your time killing everyone along the way.
Kain: How nice of you to leave me to go through this heck hole my self.
Umah: Consider it an act of who gives a rat's ass.
(Umah vanishes. Kain makes his way; he stops when he sees a common person running.)
CP: AGGHHHH!
Kain: Hey, what's the rush?
CP: MONSTER!
(Person runs from Kain and runs into who he was escaping, a thug.)
Thug: Hello.
CP: Oh crap.
(Is killed, the thug then attacks Kain.)
Thug: Well, well, what do we have here?
Kain: Uh, a vampire, dumbass.
Thug: I was asking in the sense of evil.
Kain: Oh.
(He kills the thug and drinks his blood and that of the common person, he then continues on and makes his way to where Umah said to reach, he sees her waiting, her back is turned to him, he sneaks up and taps her on the shoulder.)
Umah: AGHH!
(She leaps twenty feet into the air, she immediately sees it's Kain and floats down, but not before giving him a kick in the head during mid decent.)
Umah: DON'T DO THAT! Anyway, come, this way. Follow me.
Kain: Do I have to? I'm tired from the trip coming here.
(She threatens to slap him, he reels and follows.)
Umah: I am taking you to DA' base, our HQ. It is time you meet our leader.
Kain V.O: It was indeed time to hear this so called leader's bull plop plans, and learn if he had any alcohol for me.
(Umah beckons Kain to follow.)
Umah: This way.
Kain: Hey, ya know, that's such a cliché.
(Umah runs through a deactivated ward gate, but then a Glyph guard sees her.)
Glyph guard #1: MONKEYS! *He's an idiot*
Glyph guard #2: Vampires! Dumbass.
(The guard activates the gate and Kain runs right into it, Umah and the guard watch the following.)
Umah: Uh oh.
Kain *Now affected by gate's side affects, he begins to sing and dance*:
I love to singa!
About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a
I love to singa
About the sky all blue-a or a tea for two-a.
Umah and the guards: O.o
(Before he can continue, Umah chucks a rock at his head, knocking the sense back into him.)
Kain: Thanks I needed that.
Umah: Kain, you must find a way to the lower city. The smuggler's tunnel will take you there.
(The glyph guard raises his sword at Umah.)
GG #1: Smelling undead! Die once more!
(Umah avoids the attack, landing near Kain face-to-face.)
Umah: Go the Holiday inn in the slums. A contact will meet you there. He will tell you where to go.
GG #1: stinking, sexy looking, bloodsucker!
(Umah avoids another attack and taunts.)
Umah: Do you want your death now? Come, it's only $3.95 and you'll have it.
(She runs off, the guard in pursuit.)
GG #1: Come back, I'm too lazy to follow!
(Kain, alone now ponders his situation.)
Kain V.O: I was alone at last, finally, now what to do, what to do? I guess I could do as she asked, or I could go on another binge, I was promised answers. I guess I might as well go and see what they want. After that, I would know what to do.
(He then proceeds to the hotel, again killing loads of people for exact reason and stealing some of their jewelry. He makes it the hotel and finds a human there, seeming to wait for someone.)
Kain: I was to meet someone here.
Human (Steve from PSM.): Who's there? Ahh, you must be Kain.
Kain: You are a human. Curious that would help one such as I.
Steve: Hey, it pays well. We hate the Sarafan; they took our ball and won't give it back - those jerks. If your kind can bring them down, or at least get our ball back, I'll help you - I will!
Kain: I was told to find the smuggler's den.
(Unseen by Kain and Steve, someone is lurking about, eavesdropping on them.)
Steve: You're a stone's throw away from the entrance. Go through it, it's pretty quaint if you overlook the rogues. They'll attack you on sight.
Kain: Then I'll kick their asses and drink their blood.
(Steve opens the gate and Kain begins to walk in, but he stops him.)
Steve: Wait. Tell Umah that I helped you, please? She promised me the dark gift and maybe even a date if I did as she asked. You'll tell her, won't you?
Kain: *Noncommittally* I'm sure she'll give you what you deserve. *Underbreath* The slut.
(He walks through walks through, the eavesdropper watches as the gate closes then attacks Steve, ripping out his throat.)
Steve: Oh mommy!
Eavesdropper: That'll teach ya for not putting a DVD in the January issue.
(Now we know why Steve wasn't in last month's issue. Getting back to Kain. He has entered into the Smuggler's den. Umah calls to him.)
Umah: *Whispering* Greetings, Kain.
Kain: *Whispering* You eluded the guards?
Umah: *W* They were only human, they fell into the river when I chucked a Kitkat in. Welcome to one of our glorious places, the Smuggler's den, you'll find it even more annoying than the slums. Rogues, thieves and mimes rule the streets, and of course the Sarafan too. You can expect no help from the lazy- ass inhabitants, but lot's o' trouble.
Kain: *W* Damn. I don't really need their help. You spoke of a Smuggler's tunnel I must find?
Umah: *W* Go find a guy at the tavern, he will help you, but don't worry, he'll know you.
(Kain then makes his way to the tavern, killing loads of people, thieves, rogues and taking special precautions in killing the mimes, he enters the tavern, passing the bar tender who is quite retarded, he then finds a human on the stairs.)
Contact *Fred* Hey mister, can I talk to ya.
Kain: How the hell do ya know me?
Fred: I was told to look out for ya. I am a friend of the cabal, one of many; I'm here to help.
Kain: Then do so.
Fred: The tunnel is through a cavern, the thieves enter it from the church outside, but it's only for them, you must find and enter a lift. It's in a collapsed section of the district near the church you can't miss it. Be warned the guards will attack you.
Kain: I'll be okay.
(The retarded bartender finally realizes Kain is a vampire, at first confusing him as an ugly elf, then as a giant talking clam, but finally got it and raises the alarm.)
Bartender *Ed*: Me! Help! Need!
Kain and Fred: Took him long enough.
(Two Sarafan guards run towards the tavern and they look pretty fierce, unfortunately they are about as smart as a tree stump. They stand outside looking at Kain, doing nothing; they're so stupid.)
Kain: Well might as well get going.
(He kills everyone in the tavern for no reason, he tries to kill Ed, but he just can't seem to get over the counter.)
Kain: Damn! He must have one of those anti-vampire-attacking bartender things that jerk from the first game had.
(He gives up and leaves through an entrance behind the bookcase, he then makes his way to the church, he sees a man taunting a woman thug.)
Man: Hey, you're one ugly bi-
(Is chased off by woman screaming Kain proceeds until he reaches the spot where the woman and the man were. He drinks the body of its blood and then uses the lift, as he reaches the ground and begins to head into the chamber ahead, two of those Glyphwrights vanish as he walks in and then he spots another, conversing with the eavesdropper, after they have finished talking the mysterious person enters into the steam room and the Glyphwright vanishes, Kain then continues further into the hideout until he reaches a door that some human keeps closing when he gets close, he decide to see if his mist form works and it does, he gets past the door and kills the annoying human.)
Kain: Jerk!
(He then turned on three large stoves and then sees a switch that leads to some steam pipe a few humans are near.)
Kain: *Evilly with a grin* I wander what this will do?
(He pulls the switch and a torrent of steam shoots out and kills the humans, he then drains the bodies and then kills any remaining guards, he then proceeds until he enters the room he say the mysterious man enter. He looks around and then hears someone from the balcony.)
MM: Well, well. Our magic twig-o'-vampire detecting was right, you are alive. Do you remember me, Kain, or is your hangover not cleared yet?
(He steps into the light, allowing Kain to see him.)
Kain V.O: It was Faustus, one of the legionnaires of my army and bowling teammate. A drug addict soldier, still one but now working for the enemy.
(Faustus laughs and attempts to somersaults off the balcony but instead lands headfirst into the floor, leaving an indent of his face.)
Kain: Faustus. It's true then, you have joined with our enemy and have not gone to rehab like I suggested.
Faustus: Look, I told you I just don't have the time, besides, in serving the Sarafan I am protected - I have power, and an endless supply of drugs.
Kain: How many of us have been killed by the Sarafan?
Faustus: I can give a rat's ass to that. I don't weep for and not for you.
Kain: Look around you, do you think this crappy little place can keep you safe?
Faustus: Yes. Our lord knows of your presence; he kicked your ass before and he'll do it again.
Kain: But you will never know how it ends.
Faustus: Why's that?
Kain: I'm gonna kill you before that'll happen.
Faustus: Ah! But you have not yet seen my new powers.
Kain: Huh?
(Faustus takes out a bag of sugar and pours it down his throat, he shakes quite violently and begins to fight with Kain, who is nearly beaten by his hyperactive foe, and he soon beats him enough times that Faustus runs into the next room.)
Faustus: *Really fast cause of his hyper state* Ihaveasurpriseforyou,Kain!
(Kain enters into the next room and continues the fight, Faustus, who is now chucking bombs like mad apparently is missing Kain due to his hyper state and just throws them clear past Kain, who sets him on fire a couple times until he leaps into the rafters above, periodically jumping at Kain, who leaps out of the way, Kain eventually beats him Faustus collapses to the ground, Kain walks over and kicks him.)
Kain: TAKE THIS! F*****! That's what you get for messin' with me!
(He then absorbs Faustus' dark gift 'Jump', he then leaves and gets to test his new ability on a small broken bridge, unfortunately when he ate the dark gift, he also get a little hyper and was just banging into the broken bridge several times, he eventually calms down and he enters the giant pipe to the next part of town.)
************************************************************** *************************
Me: Well I hoped you like this chapter!
Kain: Dang it! Now I want some more SUGAR!
(He begins to go nuts and runs out.)
Me: O.-0 Whatever, anyway please review and I will give you an army of undefeatable MONKEYS! Yes they are specially trained to kill whomever you want, especially Moebius. SICK EM' BOYS!
(Legions of Monkeys swarm Moebius.)
Moebius: AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!
BYE!
Me: Hello everyone. As I said I am trying to get new chapters out sooner.
Kain: I am no dog!
Me: SIT!
(Kain does so obediently.)
Me: Roll over.
(Kain rolls around.)
Me: Fetch.
(I chuck Moebius about a hundred feet from me, Kain chases after. He returns with Moebius, in his teeth by the neck.)
Me: Good boy. In this chapter I will show what Umah meant when the ward gates cause uncontrollable singing/
(Turns back to Kain, who begins to maul Moebius, who screams and pleas for help.)
Me: well here today's installment, pt. 3!
************************************************************** *************************
(We come from when Kain had fallen flat on his face. He picks himself up and heads to where Umah is; she is standing on a small platform. He sees a device on the wall in front of him.)
Kain: What the hell is that? And what magic is it?
Umah: This is Glyph energy, a new kind of magic that was brought in when the Sarafan came and kicked our butts. It supplies power and porn access to all of Meridian. The gate you see can be opened by this energy. Activate the Glyph box. This will send power to the lever and then you can switch off the gate.
(Kain does as he is told.)
Umah: Well done. The Glyphs are operated by those bald guys over there. They are called Glyphwrights - a secret society existing within Meridian. You may see them a few times, given that the game only shows them about four or five times. They are jerks for they rarely talk to people and where they came from is unknown. Ahead is the market where the usual freaks go and have their cockfights. Beyond is the bridge that leads to the lower city. Get your ass east of the bridge; I will meet you there.
Kain: Where do you think your going?
Umah: I don't to be around while you just waste your time killing everyone along the way.
Kain: How nice of you to leave me to go through this heck hole my self.
Umah: Consider it an act of who gives a rat's ass.
(Umah vanishes. Kain makes his way; he stops when he sees a common person running.)
CP: AGGHHHH!
Kain: Hey, what's the rush?
CP: MONSTER!
(Person runs from Kain and runs into who he was escaping, a thug.)
Thug: Hello.
CP: Oh crap.
(Is killed, the thug then attacks Kain.)
Thug: Well, well, what do we have here?
Kain: Uh, a vampire, dumbass.
Thug: I was asking in the sense of evil.
Kain: Oh.
(He kills the thug and drinks his blood and that of the common person, he then continues on and makes his way to where Umah said to reach, he sees her waiting, her back is turned to him, he sneaks up and taps her on the shoulder.)
Umah: AGHH!
(She leaps twenty feet into the air, she immediately sees it's Kain and floats down, but not before giving him a kick in the head during mid decent.)
Umah: DON'T DO THAT! Anyway, come, this way. Follow me.
Kain: Do I have to? I'm tired from the trip coming here.
(She threatens to slap him, he reels and follows.)
Umah: I am taking you to DA' base, our HQ. It is time you meet our leader.
Kain V.O: It was indeed time to hear this so called leader's bull plop plans, and learn if he had any alcohol for me.
(Umah beckons Kain to follow.)
Umah: This way.
Kain: Hey, ya know, that's such a cliché.
(Umah runs through a deactivated ward gate, but then a Glyph guard sees her.)
Glyph guard #1: MONKEYS! *He's an idiot*
Glyph guard #2: Vampires! Dumbass.
(The guard activates the gate and Kain runs right into it, Umah and the guard watch the following.)
Umah: Uh oh.
Kain *Now affected by gate's side affects, he begins to sing and dance*:
I love to singa!
About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a
I love to singa
About the sky all blue-a or a tea for two-a.
Umah and the guards: O.o
(Before he can continue, Umah chucks a rock at his head, knocking the sense back into him.)
Kain: Thanks I needed that.
Umah: Kain, you must find a way to the lower city. The smuggler's tunnel will take you there.
(The glyph guard raises his sword at Umah.)
GG #1: Smelling undead! Die once more!
(Umah avoids the attack, landing near Kain face-to-face.)
Umah: Go the Holiday inn in the slums. A contact will meet you there. He will tell you where to go.
GG #1: stinking, sexy looking, bloodsucker!
(Umah avoids another attack and taunts.)
Umah: Do you want your death now? Come, it's only $3.95 and you'll have it.
(She runs off, the guard in pursuit.)
GG #1: Come back, I'm too lazy to follow!
(Kain, alone now ponders his situation.)
Kain V.O: I was alone at last, finally, now what to do, what to do? I guess I could do as she asked, or I could go on another binge, I was promised answers. I guess I might as well go and see what they want. After that, I would know what to do.
(He then proceeds to the hotel, again killing loads of people for exact reason and stealing some of their jewelry. He makes it the hotel and finds a human there, seeming to wait for someone.)
Kain: I was to meet someone here.
Human (Steve from PSM.): Who's there? Ahh, you must be Kain.
Kain: You are a human. Curious that would help one such as I.
Steve: Hey, it pays well. We hate the Sarafan; they took our ball and won't give it back - those jerks. If your kind can bring them down, or at least get our ball back, I'll help you - I will!
Kain: I was told to find the smuggler's den.
(Unseen by Kain and Steve, someone is lurking about, eavesdropping on them.)
Steve: You're a stone's throw away from the entrance. Go through it, it's pretty quaint if you overlook the rogues. They'll attack you on sight.
Kain: Then I'll kick their asses and drink their blood.
(Steve opens the gate and Kain begins to walk in, but he stops him.)
Steve: Wait. Tell Umah that I helped you, please? She promised me the dark gift and maybe even a date if I did as she asked. You'll tell her, won't you?
Kain: *Noncommittally* I'm sure she'll give you what you deserve. *Underbreath* The slut.
(He walks through walks through, the eavesdropper watches as the gate closes then attacks Steve, ripping out his throat.)
Steve: Oh mommy!
Eavesdropper: That'll teach ya for not putting a DVD in the January issue.
(Now we know why Steve wasn't in last month's issue. Getting back to Kain. He has entered into the Smuggler's den. Umah calls to him.)
Umah: *Whispering* Greetings, Kain.
Kain: *Whispering* You eluded the guards?
Umah: *W* They were only human, they fell into the river when I chucked a Kitkat in. Welcome to one of our glorious places, the Smuggler's den, you'll find it even more annoying than the slums. Rogues, thieves and mimes rule the streets, and of course the Sarafan too. You can expect no help from the lazy- ass inhabitants, but lot's o' trouble.
Kain: *W* Damn. I don't really need their help. You spoke of a Smuggler's tunnel I must find?
Umah: *W* Go find a guy at the tavern, he will help you, but don't worry, he'll know you.
(Kain then makes his way to the tavern, killing loads of people, thieves, rogues and taking special precautions in killing the mimes, he enters the tavern, passing the bar tender who is quite retarded, he then finds a human on the stairs.)
Contact *Fred* Hey mister, can I talk to ya.
Kain: How the hell do ya know me?
Fred: I was told to look out for ya. I am a friend of the cabal, one of many; I'm here to help.
Kain: Then do so.
Fred: The tunnel is through a cavern, the thieves enter it from the church outside, but it's only for them, you must find and enter a lift. It's in a collapsed section of the district near the church you can't miss it. Be warned the guards will attack you.
Kain: I'll be okay.
(The retarded bartender finally realizes Kain is a vampire, at first confusing him as an ugly elf, then as a giant talking clam, but finally got it and raises the alarm.)
Bartender *Ed*: Me! Help! Need!
Kain and Fred: Took him long enough.
(Two Sarafan guards run towards the tavern and they look pretty fierce, unfortunately they are about as smart as a tree stump. They stand outside looking at Kain, doing nothing; they're so stupid.)
Kain: Well might as well get going.
(He kills everyone in the tavern for no reason, he tries to kill Ed, but he just can't seem to get over the counter.)
Kain: Damn! He must have one of those anti-vampire-attacking bartender things that jerk from the first game had.
(He gives up and leaves through an entrance behind the bookcase, he then makes his way to the church, he sees a man taunting a woman thug.)
Man: Hey, you're one ugly bi-
(Is chased off by woman screaming Kain proceeds until he reaches the spot where the woman and the man were. He drinks the body of its blood and then uses the lift, as he reaches the ground and begins to head into the chamber ahead, two of those Glyphwrights vanish as he walks in and then he spots another, conversing with the eavesdropper, after they have finished talking the mysterious person enters into the steam room and the Glyphwright vanishes, Kain then continues further into the hideout until he reaches a door that some human keeps closing when he gets close, he decide to see if his mist form works and it does, he gets past the door and kills the annoying human.)
Kain: Jerk!
(He then turned on three large stoves and then sees a switch that leads to some steam pipe a few humans are near.)
Kain: *Evilly with a grin* I wander what this will do?
(He pulls the switch and a torrent of steam shoots out and kills the humans, he then drains the bodies and then kills any remaining guards, he then proceeds until he enters the room he say the mysterious man enter. He looks around and then hears someone from the balcony.)
MM: Well, well. Our magic twig-o'-vampire detecting was right, you are alive. Do you remember me, Kain, or is your hangover not cleared yet?
(He steps into the light, allowing Kain to see him.)
Kain V.O: It was Faustus, one of the legionnaires of my army and bowling teammate. A drug addict soldier, still one but now working for the enemy.
(Faustus laughs and attempts to somersaults off the balcony but instead lands headfirst into the floor, leaving an indent of his face.)
Kain: Faustus. It's true then, you have joined with our enemy and have not gone to rehab like I suggested.
Faustus: Look, I told you I just don't have the time, besides, in serving the Sarafan I am protected - I have power, and an endless supply of drugs.
Kain: How many of us have been killed by the Sarafan?
Faustus: I can give a rat's ass to that. I don't weep for and not for you.
Kain: Look around you, do you think this crappy little place can keep you safe?
Faustus: Yes. Our lord knows of your presence; he kicked your ass before and he'll do it again.
Kain: But you will never know how it ends.
Faustus: Why's that?
Kain: I'm gonna kill you before that'll happen.
Faustus: Ah! But you have not yet seen my new powers.
Kain: Huh?
(Faustus takes out a bag of sugar and pours it down his throat, he shakes quite violently and begins to fight with Kain, who is nearly beaten by his hyperactive foe, and he soon beats him enough times that Faustus runs into the next room.)
Faustus: *Really fast cause of his hyper state* Ihaveasurpriseforyou,Kain!
(Kain enters into the next room and continues the fight, Faustus, who is now chucking bombs like mad apparently is missing Kain due to his hyper state and just throws them clear past Kain, who sets him on fire a couple times until he leaps into the rafters above, periodically jumping at Kain, who leaps out of the way, Kain eventually beats him Faustus collapses to the ground, Kain walks over and kicks him.)
Kain: TAKE THIS! F*****! That's what you get for messin' with me!
(He then absorbs Faustus' dark gift 'Jump', he then leaves and gets to test his new ability on a small broken bridge, unfortunately when he ate the dark gift, he also get a little hyper and was just banging into the broken bridge several times, he eventually calms down and he enters the giant pipe to the next part of town.)
************************************************************** *************************
Me: Well I hoped you like this chapter!
Kain: Dang it! Now I want some more SUGAR!
(He begins to go nuts and runs out.)
Me: O.-0 Whatever, anyway please review and I will give you an army of undefeatable MONKEYS! Yes they are specially trained to kill whomever you want, especially Moebius. SICK EM' BOYS!
(Legions of Monkeys swarm Moebius.)
Moebius: AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!
BYE!
