Author's note: This chapter is written in four parts: first Shinji's POV, then Rei's POV, then Asuka's POV, then back to Shinji's POV.
Shinji's POV:
My head was throbbing badly; my guts felt as if they were mangled up and I feared my organs might have been displaced from the kick. When I opened my eyes, they were immediately forced shut by the stinging pain coming from my nose. The gush of fluid inside my nostrils was suffocating me. I squeezed them shut, trying to stop the blood from flowing and worrying that my nose would drop loose. I tried to breathe with my mouth, but the few loose teeth made it difficult for me.
Slowly, with the help of Kaworu, I stood back up and scanned the room through my teary eyes. The pain on my broken nose was unbearable.
"Where is Rei?" I asked.
"They took her away, probably heading straight for Terminal Dogma." Kaworu replied, sounding concerned and desperate. His face was still covered with sweat, but his eyes looked lively once more. The tranquilizer's effect seemed to have faded.
"We must get her back. Where's Misato?"
Turning around, I saw her crouching beside the unconscious Makoto, sobbing furiously and blaming herself for the sudden turn of events. The other male technician just lay there on the floor lifelessly. Asuka was still standing at a corner, face covered in her hands. I felt miserable for Shigeru's tragic death, but there was no time for grief. Rei was in danger; the whole world was in danger, and if we didn't act fast now, everything would be lost.
I walked shakily to Misato's side and put my hand on her shoulder, "Come on, Misato. We must go to NERV now."
"It's my fault…It's all because of me…Makoto…Shigeru…I'm so sorry…so sorry…" She wept, face buried in Makoto's chest.
Misato sounded so sad and remorseful that I almost felt guilty for not mourning over the technicians, but right now, Rei was our priority, so I shook Misato gently and urged her to move. "We must hurry, Misato, please…We don't have much time left…"
There was no reply from her except more tears. It suddenly reminded me of something familiar, something I had been doing so often. I saw myself in her eyes, and heard myself in her voice. They all seemed so much like…me…I could just picture myself crying when my father left me, and blaming myself for how he treated me while it was actually his fault for abandoning me. It all came back to me, and suddenly I wondered if that was how people thought about me, someone so easily shaken, someone with no self-respect, someone so easily defeated…like what Misato was showing me now.
It didn't matter anymore, because I had changed and I knew it. As long as Rei was with me, I didn't care what other people said, but I would not allow Misato to descend to such pathetic level.
"Misato, I know how you feel," I said as I crouched down beside her and pulled her into a hug, "but it's not your fault that this happened. You didn't ask for this, and you've done so much for us…"
Her sobs continued, so I added, "It's entirely my father's fault…not yours. He's the one who caused all this to happen. Please…Misato, don't let him fool you."
I wrapped my arms around her tightly as I finished the sentence, hoping that she would believe that my words were sincere. Misato's sobs gradually faded as we stayed like this quietly. When she finally stopped crying, I continued, "However, there's one thing you will regret if you do nothing now. My father has taken Rei with him, and he's going to start Third Impact with her. Billions of lives are at stake, and it's now up to us to stop him."
Misato gave one last hiccup as I pulled away from the hug, but I kept my hands on her shoulders and looked at her in the eyes. "I can't defeat my father alone, Misato…I'm not capable enough…I need your help. I can't do this alone, so please…help me get Rei back."
She looked away and rubbed her eyes dry. I glanced at Kaworu, who was standing beside Asuka. Both of them were talking quietly to each other, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Kaworu had an apologetic, but determined look on his face; whereas Asuka still looked accusing, although she seemed to have understood what Kaworu was trying to tell her, and she didn't have the empty look on her face anymore.
It was then Misato stood up, "You're right, Shinji. You're absolutely right. Sorry that I'm such a weak person. I shouldn't have let Gendo play with my mind."
She took off her jacket and wrapped it tightly around Makoto's injured knee. Misato then gently lifted him up with her muscular arms and put him over her shoulder. Her eyebrows were drawn together, and the resolve was evident in her eyes once again. "Let's go back to NERV. I have a personal score to settle with Gendo."
I hurried and got back to my feet, feeling revitalised. Misato then waved her hand at Kaworu and Asuka. "Come on, kids, we have a job to do."
With that, she headed out of the apartment, with the red haired German following closely behind. Kaworu and I rushed forward to catch up with them. Once we were outside, there was a huge, deafening explosion. Reflexively, I looked up at the sky and saw approximately ten helicopters flying past us, all heading towards the NERV headquarters. There was also a cloud of black smoke coming from that direction. And then another explosion was heard as the ground below our feet shook violently.
My ears were now ringing, but before they could recover, a line of tanks and heavy armour jeeps emerged on the other end of the streets, cruising towards the NERV headquarters as well. The soldiers on the vehicles looked foreign to me. Most of them were westerners; others were Africans and a few Asians. They all appeared well-trained and ready to kill. Luckily, none of them paid us any attention.
"SEELE troops…" Asuka said, "They're probably here for Third Impact too."
"They've started attacking! There's no time to waste, get into the car now!" Misato ordered.
We rushed forward to Misato's blue Renault. Once there, she handed Makoto to Kaworu and hurried into the driver's seat. I followed the grey-haired boy into the back seat as Asuka took the shogun. Misato then started the engine and sped off towards NERV.
It was fortunate that the marines were not able to match the speed of Misato's sport car here in the city streets. We needed to get to NERV before they did, and if we could sound the alert, we might still be able to shut the intruders away from the NERV complex, even for a short period of time. It wasn't the ideal way to stop them, but right now we didn't have other options left. The tension inside the car showed how gloomy the situation was.
"Ok, everybody listen carefully," Misato said, "Time is not on our side and we need to plan everything carefully, are you all with me?"
"Yes," Kaworu and I answered; Asuka kept silent.
"Kaworu, are you familiar with the layout at the headquarters?"
"I memorised the map a while back, so I should be able to find my way around," the boy replied.
"All right then, when we arrive at NERV, you will send Makoto to the hospital wing."
"NERV hospital!" Asuka exclaimed, "Are you nuts! The enemies are invading the headquarters! You think they'll leave the patients alone! It's suicide!"
"The public hospital was shut down after Rei blew herself up with the last Angel," Misato replied, "We've got no other options. NERV hospital is the only medical facility left in the city."
"Don't worry," Kaworu interrupted, "I'll take care of Makoto."
"Good, Shinji and Asuka, you two will proceed to the Eva hangar immediately after we arrive. Don't bother changing into your plug suits, we don't have enough time. I will then sound the alarm from the command centre which will seal the NERV entrances."
"You want us to fight the SEELE troops? With our EVAs?" I asked.
"Yes, you should have no problems with them. While you deal with them, I will go down to Terminal Dogma and stop Gendo. Is everything clear?"
"What? But I want to come with you, Misato!" I said, disbelieving what I had just heard.
"No, Shinji. Listen to me," She sighed, "I know what you're thinking, but everyone needs to co-operate if we want to win this battle. You're not experienced in hand-to-hand combat, so you wouldn't be much help even if you come with me."
"But-"
"You are, however, skilled at piloting Eva, which is something I cannot do. That's why you have to help Asuka. We must use our resources wisely. Do you understand now, Shinji?"
"No! Let me come with you please, Misato!" I pleaded, unable to accept what she had just said, but before Misato could continue with her persuasion, Kaworu added in.
"She's right, Shinji. We have to use our abilities to our advantage. I know you're concerned about Rei, but I think you should believe in Misato. She'll stop Gendo and return Rei to you, I'm sure."
"But Asuka can defeat the enemy troops with her Eva alone! You'll need my help fighting my father, Misato! Please let me come with you!" I begged, but Misato still wouldn't listen.
"SEELE are not as simple as they appear," Kaworu said solemnly as he put his hand on my shoulder, "Their secret weapons are hiding somewhere, waiting to be deployed, and they're much stronger than the Angels you fought."
I couldn't understand what Kaworu was referring to as SEELE's secret weapons, but I wasn't about to walk away from Rei. To me, she was my responsibility. "But Rei needs me! She needs my help!"
"Listen to me, Shinji, let us help each other. You have a talent that I don't, and that is to pilot an EVA. You're better suited than me to combat tanks and helicopters," Kaworu explained, "but I have powers that you don't as well, and that is to generate an AT-Field. I'm better suited than you to fight Gendo and his agents."
"What are you trying to say?" I asked feeling confused.
"Once I delivered Makoto to the hospital wing, I'll go and help Misato. I'll save Rei for you, and I'll be counting on you to keep Asuka safe for me. Do we have each other's trust?"
Asuka just kept quiet and ignored our conversation. I wanted to reject Kaworu's suggestion. It wasn't because I didn't trust him. I just wanted to be there when Rei needed help the most. I wanted to be the first person to hold her hand when she was finally freed from my father. I knew it didn't make much sense, and that Misato's plan was much more practical than my selfish one, but I wanted to be able to look back to this day, and proudly declared that I saved my girl myself. Maybe it was just pride, the pride that clouded so many people's visions, but I wouldn't care anymore.
I was about to argue again, but as we approached the NERV complex, Misato finally put an end to our disagreement. "Shinji, as you said, billions of lives are at stake. What if your plan somehow failed? Third Impact would occur. Rei and you would be forced apart forever. Would you want that?"
Much to my disappointment, what she said was true and wise, and I couldn't find any words to repel her. As I pondered on what I should do, she continued, "Your plan would only be feasible in an ideal world, but this is reality, Shinji. Come to your senses and ask yourself this question: What would Rei want you to do?"
By then, we had reached the NERV main entrance. Misato halted her speeding car right in front of the checkpoint and we hurried out of the small vehicle. It was then I realised that there was no security agent guarding the doorway. NERV was indeed seriously lacking in personnel, and if the SEELE troops broke into the complex, there would be no one to stop them. Misato rushed forward and swiped her card through the entrance slot; the metal door moved upwards immediately and we ran through.
Suddenly, there was another huge explosion nearby. The ground shook viciously as we all fell to the floor. The whole building was still trembling when Misato brandished her gun and shot the internal security checkpoint. The device exploded into flames. The alarm was sounded instantaneously as a thick titanium door moved downwards from the ceiling and sealed off the main entrance.
"That'll keep them away for a while," Misato said as she picked up Makoto from the floor. I stood back up as well, feeling slightly nauseous from the hostility. Kaworu went to help Asuka get up, but before he could even touch her, she slapped his hand away.
"I don't need your help," The irritated girl said.
I was surprised by her aggression, but Kaworu seemed to have expected it. Misato ignored the little incident, however, as she handed the motionless Makoto to the grey haired boy. "Here, take him to the medical ward quickly, and then come to the command centre as fast as you can! Go!"
Kaworu received Makoto from her and nodded his head. He then ran off towards the direction of the NERV medical facility. Misato turned to the opposite way and started running. "Shinji! Asuka! Come with me!"
As I ran beside Misato, I contemplated on whether I should trust her logic and board the Eva, or act on my instinct and get down there to rescue Rei. What would have Rei advised me to do? I didn't like thinking about it, because the answer was clear. Through the days spent with her, I had come to realise that her deepest wish to be accepted as a normal being, to live in this society without being feared or resented. What she wanted was a life, and if Third Impact occurred, there would be no tomorrow. Rei would have wanted me to fight in the Eva.
I made my decision, but I was still very worried about her, "Misato, shouldn't you be going after Rei by now?"
"If Maya was here, I would have left you two to her and gone after Gendo straight away, but right now we must get you into your Eva. We're fighting against both Gendo and SEELE here, and if SEELE broke inside the complex and get their hands on Rei, everything would be over. We don't have the manpower to fight them, but I'm confident enough to say that I can handle Gendo and his minions on my own."
"But Rei is in extreme danger! My father is taking her to Lilith right now!" I protested.
"Don't worry Shinji, I came here last night and made some small modifications…" Misato smiled, "I'd have paid to see him walk those stairs…"
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"It'll slow him down indefinitely. Like I said, don't worry. Everything's under control and I'll return Rei to you as I promised." She replied, still smiling with confidence.
I was still feeling confused, but before I could question her any further, we arrived at the junction where we must go our own separate ways. By then, I was already shaking in distress for choosing to abandon Rei. Sure, Misato would try her best to save her, and she probably could do a lot better than me. It was even possible that I would slow her down if I tagged along, but it just didn't feel right.
Misato must have sensed my uncertainties, for she crouched down beside us and put a hand each on our shoulders, "Shinji, Asuka, I'm counting on you two. Get out there and eliminate all SEELE troops. Remember, show no mercy, because you'll get none." She said and planted a kiss each on our cheeks, "I love you."
With that, she turned and ran through the left corridor, whereas Asuka and I headed for the right one. We made the second left turn, and then hurried across a long pathway to the changing rooms. There was no time for us to change into the plug suits, but I needed to get my neural clips from the lockers. As we ran, I took a glance at Asuka. The red neural clips were already attached back on to her silky red hair.
"I'm glad you're all right, Asuka." I said, breaking the tension.
She shot me a glare in return, "I'm only doing this for Wonder Girl. I'll never forgive you and Kaworu."
I was shocked still at the spot, but she kept on running, made another right turn and disappeared into the Eva hangar. It seemed that she was not as forgiving as I had hoped, and it looked like Kaworu hadn't been able to convince her that all of us truthfully wanted the best for her. There was no time for explanation. I hurried into the lockers and retrieved my white neural connectors.
I was on my way to the hangar when Misato's voice called out from the intercom, "Attention all NERV personnel, attention all NERV personnel. There are intruders heading this way. All entrances will be sealed off and all NERV employees are advised to remain inside. I repeat, the enemies are approaching; all entrances and exits will be sealed and everyone is advised to stay inside the complex."
There were actually very few workers left in the building. It explained why we didn't run into any section-two agents or security guards on our way here. Those who still remained had chosen not to pay us any attention or get involved in our affairs. It made it easier for me since I wasn't skilled in moving around stealthily.
I made a left turn into a narrow corridor and ran my remaining way to the hangar. As I finally reached my destination, there was a loud bang. The ground trembled slightly as I watched the red Unit-02 being shot up to the surface. There was no time to waste. Without any further delay, I dashed onto the elevator, which then ascended and took me to the entry plug. A few unfamiliar NERV technicians were already there to help me get into the elongated tube.
Once inside, they closed the hatch and a gush of LCL immediately flooded the plug. As I waited patiently for the fluid to fill up, I tried to think of a plan to defeat the enemies as fast as possible. I wanted to finish the job quickly and return to Rei. It was pointless, however, because all I had to do was to smash everything I saw. Like Misato said, I must not show any mercy. There was no need for proper planning. Those normal military units out there were nothing compared to an Eva.
Shinji…
Suddenly, I heard a soft voice. Someone just called my name. I looked around in the entry plug, but nobody was inside here except me. I cleared my mind and listened more carefully, but there was nothing except silence. Sighing, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I must be getting restless and imagining things. However, as I tried to focus on my task ahead, I couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right.
A short while later, the monitors around the plug started going through a series of transformations until a visual of the environment outside of Unit-01 came up. Misato then appeared in a small monitor and her voice called in from the intercom immediately afterwards. "Prepare for launch, Shinji. Your Eva lifts off in 45 seconds. Remember, show no mercy and eliminate all enemies at all cost. We can't afford any slip-ups."
And then the voice appeared again…Shinji…
"Misato, did you hear that?" I asked.
"Hear what?" She asked back, not really paying any attention, "Eva Unit-01 lifts off in 40 seconds."
Shinji…
"There! It's here again! Did you hear that, Misato!" I was beginning to feel agitated; the voice was crystal and I heard it as clear as thunder.
"No, I didn't hear anything," She replied, sounding confused.
Shinji…you're running away again…
"What? Who said that?" I asked to no one in particular, "Who are you?"
"Shinji, what's going on? Is something wrong?" Misato asked, but I ignored her.
You said you've changed, Shinji, that you're no longer your old self, that you'd not hide from reality anymore, but unfortunately, that never happened.
"What are you talking about?"
It's something we see very often in life. People say they'll change their bad ways and improve as a person. In a short period of time, it may seem that they've succeeded, but nature was imprinted in your soul, and only with lasting determination and resolve can you make a difference.
"I…I don't understand…"
You've made significant efforts in correcting the faults inside you, but one wrong step can crumble all that you've built and return you to a frightened child. People make promises, very beautiful promises, but all fragile, and once broken they will never be the same again. Listen to what your heart tells you. Don't have any regrets…
The voice faded as it finished saying the last sentence. "Who are you! Why are you telling me this?" I tried to evoke a response, but none ever came again. It was all silent in the entry plug. I felt very cold and lonely all of a sudden.
I think I understood now…what the voice was trying to tell me…I didn't hear it; it just appeared in my heart.
"Get a grip Shinji! Eva Unit-01 lifts off in 10 seconds!" Misato shouted through the radio.
Taking a deep breath, I reached forward and pushed a small red button beside the pilot's seat. The monitors went blank immediately and a robotic voice was heard from the intercom. "Eva Unit-01 launch cancelled."
"What the hell are you doing!" Misato yelled.
"I'm aborting mission," I replied.
"Don't be silly! Shinji-" Before she could continue any further, I shut off the radio and activate the emergency eject sequence. Then, I felt myself being pulled backwards by a huge force, and the LCL fluid inside the plug was drained away almost instantly. I stood up and opened the hatch.
The voice was right; time and time again, I thought I had changed, and I made promises that I never truly fulfilled. I had run away not just once, but twice, and both times hurt her so badly, and I almost lost everything due to this lack of courage. I won't allow myself to make the same mistake again.
Amidst the screams and screeches of the NERV technicians, I jumped off the entry plug onto the pathway thirty feet below. It was a hard landing, but I couldn't have cared less. Then, I picked the shortest route and ran heading towards Central Dogma
As I ran, I couldn't help but find it ironic for how many times I had foolishly let go of Rei, and then went chasing after her in this similar fashion. It was even amusing how stupid people would think I was when they found out that I had abandoned my duty simply because I wanted to save Rei myself. It didn't matter to me, however, because these people would never understand how I felt. To them, Rei was simply an individual; to Misato and the others, Rei was just a good friend; but to me, Rei was everything.
When I finally reached the command centre, Misato was standing there frowning angrily. Kaworu was beside her, with a concerned look on his face. We were the only people in this huge area. The intruders' alarm was still sounding in the distance.
"What do you think you're doing! Get back to your Eva at once!" She shouted furiously.
"No, please let me come with you, Misato! Please!" I pleaded, determined not to be rejected this time.
"Haven't we had this discussion already! Stop acting so childish!"
"No! You shut up!" I screamed as I lost control of myself. Waves of emotional tides hit me on the inside, making it more and more difficult for me to speak properly. "Shut up because you don't know what it's like to be up there in the Eva, knowing that MY GIRL is in danger! Shut up because you don't understand how it feels like to have lost her twice because of my own sheer stupidity!"
"Shinji! Calm down and listen to-"
"Shut up because you don't know how much it means to get down there and save her myself!" I ignored the woman and continued to scream loudly, "Shut up because you don't understand how much it means to me to confront my father once and for all!"
Misato and Kaworu stood there quietly as I tried to calm myself down from the emotional outburst. I wanted to forgive myself for sounding so rude, but I couldn't. She cared so much about me. Perhaps subconsciously, I had come to acknowledge her as the mother I lost so long ago. That kiss on my cheek just before I headed off to the Eva hangar, and those three words she spoke just before she left…they came back to me.
"Can you stop bullets? Because Gendo will have his men setup along our way and they will have guns and perhaps worse. Or do you not care about your welfare or mine for that matter?" Misato said, breaking the silence.
I tried hard to push back the tears, tried hard to be strong, but I didn't succeed. In the end, I could only hear my own sobs filling up the otherwise silent room.
"Misato, let him go with you." Kaworu said suddenly.
"What?" She asked in shock.
The boy responded by removing his right hand from his pocket. He then lifted it up for us. It was then I noticed the angry scratch on his palm.
"A guard mistook me for an intruder and attacked me just now while I was depositing the tech onto the bed. I should've been able to block the bullet. It was a close miss before he realized what I was trying to do."
"Why? What happened?"
"It's the tranquilizer. I don't know how long the effect will last. Sorry for not telling you earlier, but I wanted Shinji to help Asuka."
Before Misato could ask any further, Kaworu walked towards me, "I now understand that your will is strong, and nothing can change your mind. In that case, I'll have to borrow something from you."
"What is it?" My voice was still cracked.
"That thing there on your head," He replied.
"This?" I took down my neural clips and gave it to him, "What are you going to do with it?"
The boy received the white object from me and stared at it immensely. He then looked back up at me and smiled wearily, "I hope she will trust this…it's not the best option, but I'm afraid there's no other way."
"Don't tell me…" Misato looked surprised, "Are you sure you can pull it off?"
"Have faith in me. That's what it's all about, isn't it?" Kaworu said as he ran off heading towards the Eva hangar, "Good luck to you two!"
As he disappeared from sight, I found myself asking shakily, "Is he…is he going to pilot?"
"Like he said, we'll just have to trust him," Misato said solemnly before turning to me, "Your selfish behaviour will not go unpunished if we somehow managed to survive this whole thing, young man!"
And with that, she dashed off towards Terminal Dogma. I rubbed my eyes dry, regathered my strength, and hurried after her. We made a left turn, ran down the long corridor, and then made another right turn. The alarm was still ringing and the flashes of red light made it feel even more inflaming. As we continued our way down, we passed by several NERV employees, but none paid us any attention. They were too busy arming themselves with rifles in case those SEELE troops managed to break inside the complex.
My heart began to pound painfully as we ran across these winded pathways and made a few more turns. I was starting to feel nervous. It all seemed so familiar to me, as I remembered when Dr Akagi took me to the Dummy Plug system. I felt sorry for how the doctor finally ended up, but before I could give it any further thought, Misato and I were climbing down the stairs, making our way down to the core of NERV headquarters.
The rusty stairs eventually brought us to a very secluded area. The place was dimly lit and there was no one around. By then, I was already feeling very tired from the running, but we never slowed down. Misato motioned for me to keep quiet and be careful. We ran down the dark corridor and finally stopped at an old wooden door. Misato then unleashed her gun and turned the doorknob. It was locked.
As I tried to recover my breath, she took out a silencer and screwed it onto her gun. Misato then pointed it beside the doorknob and fired a shot. She quietly pushed the door open and checked if there were any agents guarding the area. Finding none, we proceeded down the corridor as fast as we could.
A short moment later, we finally arrived at the strange elevator that led down to Terminal Dogma. I rushed forward to press the button, but Misato stopped me. She motioned me to stay close to her as she tip toed slowly past the elevator, heading towards the stairs. I was beginning to get confused, but I kept quiet nonetheless. Misato then stopped at the junction just before the stairs. She pressed herself tightly to the wall and peeked into the dark alleyway.
A sudden shower of bullets forced her back immediately. I was shocked still.
"Just as I thought," Misato said breathlessly, "Gendo had his agents guarding the stairs."
"How many of them altogether?" I asked.
"Two, the black and the Caucasian, but don't worry, I'll take care of them easy." She replied confidently.
Still hiding behind the wall, she crouched down, stretched her arm outwards just enough to point her gun at the enemies, and started firing mercilessly. The agents fired back. The violent exchange continued for a long while before Misato screamed and pulled her arm back.
"AAAAHHHH!"
My heart dropped like a stone as I glanced at her hand, expecting it to be bleeding badly, but I was surprised to find it perfectly fine. As I stared in awe, she skilfully pulled out the clip and reloaded her gun. Once again, Misato motioned for me to stay quiet as she stood up, unleashing an army knife from her jacket. We waited patiently.
The agents stopped firing a few seconds later. Misato and I stayed silent as we heard footsteps approaching. I began to sweat anxiously, but I tried my best not to make a sound. The tension had grown to the point where it felt almost suffocating. I was becoming restless, but Misato looked as calm as always, standing there like a predator ready to pound on its victim.
And then before I realised, everything happened in a flash. When the agent had come close enough, Misato turned around and stabbed her army knife through his neck. The other agent, who had chosen to stay back and act as support, started firing immediately, but all his shots were embedded onto the stabbed agent, as Misato conveniently used his body as her cover. She then aimed her gun at the remaining agent and fired four times. The gunshots disappeared instantly as I heard a body fell to the ground with a thump.
I stood up, my legs still shaking, as Misato pulled the knife out from his neck, sending the lifeless agent to the floor. She then smiled to me and took a few steps forward, before stumbling to the ground herself. I rushed to her side and sat her up leaning against a wall. It was then I noticed there were two wounds on her right leg: One on the knee; the other just inches above it.
"Misato! Are you all right! Misato!" I shouted.
"Don't worry about me…" She moaned in pain. "Shinji…I'm sorry…"
"What? What are you talking about?" I sobbed, unable to hold back the emotions anymore.
"I failed to realise how important Rei is to you…I didn't understand how much it means for you to face your father today…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have forced you onto your Eva…"
"No! It's my fault! I shouldn't have yelled at you! I…I'm so sorry…I don't want to lose you too, Misato…" My tears were flowing, but I wasn't ashamed to admit just how worried I was.
Misato stared at me in the eyes, and then she put on an exhausted smile, "Silly boy, don't cry, it's not like they shot me in the chest. My breasts are still here, see?" She said bending down teasingly before wincing at the added strain to her leg.
I managed to let out a half-hearted chuckle. As I rubbed my eyes dry, she extended her arm and grabbed the gun from the hand of the dead agent. Misato then examined the weapon carefully as I watched.
"Here, take this," She handed it to me, "It has a laser pointer, so you shouldn't have any problems aiming. I'm afraid you're on your own from this point, Shinji. I would have loved to come with you, but they got my leg…unfortunately…"
"Misato…"
"That Yamazaki guy is also down there…Although not as cunning as Gendo, he'll pose a much greater threat physically. When you see them, take him out first, and deal with Gendo later, understood?"
"Yes…I understand."
"You've never shot a real person before, so I must tell you this, Shinji. Don't hesitate before you pull the trigger. When the time comes, it's either you or him. Like I said, show no mercy, because you'll get none."
"Mercy? Against my father?" I gritted my teeth, "not in a million years!"
Misato smiled, "Good, you don't have much time left. Now go! We'll save the chit-chat for later. Avenge Ritsuko and Shigeru for me. Make me proud! Don't get beaten by a cripple!"
"I'll see you later, Misato!" I said and stood up. I then ran towards the elevator.
"Where do you think you're going!" She shouted.
I stopped, feeling perplexed, "To the elevator of course!"
"What's wrong with you! Why do you think the agents were guarding the stairs and not the elevator!"
I stood there, stunned and speechless. I turned around and looked at the elevator, and then back at Misato, and then at the door leading to the stairs, and finally understood what she was trying to tell me. Without any further question, I mouthed a thank you to Misato and ran through the door. I then took one last deep breath and sprinted down the long, windy stairs towards Terminal Dogma.
Rei's POV:
It did not take us long to arrive at NERV, and once there, the commander led us through the now familiar labyrinth towards Terminal Dogma. The security alarms, explosions and the chaos and uncertainties inside the complex did not seem to be affecting him. His eyes just stared straight forward with confidence and determination. It looked like he had everything under control, or he thought he did.
Needless to say, he was not very pleased when we reached the elevator, the one which would have taken us down to his final destination. Apparently, it was broken. Someone had previously cut off a few wires here and there, and now it was completely unusable. I recalled that Misato had been here last night, but I could not be sure if it was she who did it. In any case, the section two agents did not have the equipments necessary to fix the machine. The commander did not want to waste anymore time, so he decided that we should use the stairs.
Before we descended down the long winding steps, the African and Caucasian agents were ordered to guard the entrance to the staircase. They were told to eliminate anyone that came into their sight. I was worried, and scared, but with the heavy chains restraining my mobility, there was nothing I could do except pray that Shinji would be able to safely get past the agents. I was sure he would come for me.
The walk down the stairs was a traumatising experience, for me and most likely for the commander too. His injuries, especially the one in the groin, were seriously affecting his movement, and it seemed that every single step he took required an enormous effort. The resolve on his face was now replaced by pain and agony. Even his shirt was wet with sweat, but he kept mumbling about his deceased wife and how he would soon be reunited with her.
Maya was still weeping as I walked beside her. The girl just lost her mentor, Dr Akagi and a close friend, Shigeru. I could sympathize with her, but there was nothing I could do to console her. Words of comfort would not help much in this situation, and my conversational skills were too poor to make any difference. The heavy chains made it difficult to walk properly. My legs were beginning to feel weak, and I struggled to maintain my balance as we continued our way down. The agent called Yamazaki walked closely behind us; his presence was something to be concerned about.
With this slow progression, it took us hours to reach the bottom of the stairs. We made our way across another dark, meandering corridor after that. By the time we arrived at the main entrance to Terminal Dogma, the commander was already coughing and panting heavily. His eye was teary, but the corners of his mouth were twisted upwards into an ugly smirk. I tried to keep calm and compose myself, but I did not succeed. Lilith was just beyond this door.
"The time has come…" The commander wheezed, "We'll soon be together again…Yui…"
"What should we do with the woman?" Yamazaki asked as he violently grabbed Maya's hair and forced her to her knees. I looked at the shaken girl, my heart racing uncomfortably. And then I looked at the commander. There was only cold murder in his eye.
"Please don't kill me…please…don't kill me…" The female technician begged, but the commander was not moved.
"Get rid of her."
"No! You said you would not harm her if I came with you!" My voice echoed through the hallway. This was followed by a short moment of tension, as the commander stared at me, and then at Maya, and finally at the white haired section two agent.
"Knock her out then."
"As you wish," Yamazaki replied and brandished his gun. Maya began crying and yelling uncontrollably, but stopped when the agent swiped the handle down on the back of her head. She then fell limply to the floor, not moving anymore.
"You despicable monster," I gritted my teeth at the commander. He gave no response.
Yamazaki leered as he started walking menacingly towards me.
"Well, well, well…" The agent said, putting away his gun. "I haven't forgotten how you sent me crushing though that concrete wall…I think it's time you ask for forgiveness and serve me properly, don't you think?"
I backed away slowly, but was stopped when my back was pressed against the wall. I looked around but could find no escape. Those nightly sessions with the commander came back; the memories too livid. I was very scared, but Shinji was not here. I tried to concentrate, but no matter what I did, I still could not generate an AT-Field to wall him off. Sweat formed as I began to panic. And then something unexpected happened.
The commander unleashed his gun and aimed it at Yamazaki. He then fired a few shots, with one of them going through the agent's skull, splattering blood across my face. I screamed. Yamazaki then fell lifelessly to the ground, with blood still flowing from the few holes in his body. Silence ensued. It was long before I spoke again.
"You…you killed him…" I was still feeling shocked when the commander came and stood beside me. He then lifted my chin and forced a rough kiss on my lips. I struggled to pull free, but his grip on me was firm. Seconds passed by, I began to choke and my tears flowed from the suffocation. He let go of me after that and I coughed out his saliva in agony.
"You seriously don't think I'll let anyone touch my beautiful angel now, do you?" The commander laughed and pulled me towards the entrance door. I was still gasping for breaths when he swiped his card through the slot and keyed in the password. We waited for a short moment before two red words appeared on the monitor:
'Access Denied'
The commander frowned. He checked his card before swiping it through the slot once more. He then typed in the password. We waited, but the same two words appeared again.
'Access Denied'
By now, his eyebrows were drawn closely together, and the thick veins had become prominent on his sweaty forehead. His eye expressed mild confusion mixed with anger and frustration. I was slightly surprised myself, but I silently thanked the person who made this small modification to the entry device. It could be the difference between life and death.
"Fuyutsuki…" The commander growled with a low ominous voice.
Suddenly, a gunshot was heard, followed by a gasp from the commander. The skin on his shoulder burst open and blood splattered out of the wound. He then fell to the floor, pulling me down together with him. And then as fast as lightning, he sat me down in front of him and wrapped a strong arm around my neck. His other hand held a gun that pointed to the side of my head.
"Come out! I know you're out there somewhere! Why don't you show yourself?" He shouted.
A tall figure emerged from the shadow. The gun in his right hand was still aimed at the commander when he said triumphantly, "Good day, old friend."
"Fuyutsuki…I knew it was you…"
"Thought I was dead, didn't you?" The old man asked.
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Don't play dumb with me, Gendo. You sent the dogs after me. It was fortunate that I somehow escaped the death you planned for me, but do tell me this, how does it feel like to be betrayed by your own pets?"
"So they faked your death report…I see now…" The commander laughed ironically, "I should've known. Those section two agents were not trust worthy."
"Not after they found out what you did to Rei. Like Ritsuko predicted, you have signed your own death warrant." The vice-commander said as he directed his gaze to Yamazaki's body, "And I see you've finally disposed of your most loyal follower as well."
"Him? Haha…he was just a pawn I used to my advantage…"
Commander Fuyutsuki frowned and gritted his teeth, "Your murderous hands are covered with blood, Gendo. Your sins are simply unforgivable."
"Don't speak that way, Fuyutsuki…I just told him that I'd let him screw Rei, and that I'd share Third Impact with him. He chose to believe me. Well, it was his decision, wasn't it?"
"So you just let him die for no reason."
"You still don't fully understand me, do you? He had become useless, so I got rid of him. If I had started bullshitting with him, it would have given him enough time to recompose and retaliate." The commander said, "Hesitance and arrogance are why so many great men failed in the past. I wasn't about to make the same mistake. My swift decision was what distinguishes me from them and helps me achieve what they couldn't."
"What you did is not something to be proud of, Gendo. In any case, your ambition stops here. I will not allow you to get past that door and let you have your way."
"Simply changing the password will not stop me, Fuyutsuki," The commander laughed. I felt his hair brushing the back of my neck as he hid closely behind me. He then pushed his fingers deep into my carotids and compressed my trachea. Immediately, my head started to throb painfully as the pressure built up. The commander ignored my agony and forcefully pointed the gun onto my back. I arched backwards reflexively. I began to choke and struggle for breaths. "In case you've forgotten, I still have my trump card here. One bullet here in the spine and she'll never stand up again."
"You can't intimidate me, Gendo. Face it, you're finished."
"Or am I?"
There was a long silence. The tension was overwhelming as both men refused to subside. And then suddenly, a small click was heard, followed by something wet slippering down my spine. Before I realised what happened, an agonising pain shot through my back. My eyes went blank. I screamed.
"You son of a bitch!" The vice-commander shouted. "What has the poor child ever done to you!"
The commander laughed cruelly in response, as he directed the gun to my right elbow. "Put down your gun, Fuyutsuki, or I'll shoot her elbow next. She has already lost her legs. Don't make me cripple her any further."
"Stop the madness, Gendo! What would Yui think of this!"
"Don't bring her into this!" The commander stormed.
"She'd be completely broken!" Vice-commander Fuyutsuki shouted back, "I've never liked you, Gendo, ever since the first time I met you, but for Yui's sake, please let go of Rei and surrender yourself!"
I struggled to recompose, but all I could see were blurred figures as tears formed a barrier in front of my eyes. The wound sent waves of excruciating pain up my spine, but I could no longer feel my legs. My breaths had become quick and shallow, as mucous pooled in my nostrils began to choke me. I could no longer think clearly, as I found myself being dragged on by their conversation. I could not even tell who were speaking anymore.
"You love her, don't you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You love her, as I do. That's why you joined us."
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does. Then you should know how I felt when she left. It was worse."
"It still doesn't give you the right to do this."
"She'll forgive me. I know she will."
"You're insane! Turn back now! It's still better late than never!"
"I don't want to continue this game, professor. Please put down your gun."
Another long silence ensued. I braced myself for the inevitable attack, but when it eventually came, I was still traumatised by the agony. My bones cracked. I felt myself slowly disintegrating. The blood…the sweat…the tears…I could no longer tell which was which. I tried to move my fingers, hoping beyond hope that I could still feel my own touch, but they no longer listened to my command. Perhaps he came too late.
"Co…commander…Fuyut…Fuyutsuki…" I breathed painfully, "Kill…kill him…kill…for me…"
"Rei! I'll never let you get away with this, Gendo!" He yelled angrily.
The commander laughed again, "Like I said, put down your gun, or I'll wreck another elbow!"
I felt a cold chill spreading along my veins. Perhaps this was the end; perhaps after all the struggles I still could not earn the life I wanted; perhaps it was just fate. I readied myself for the final moment. All I could think of was him. It made me sad, but deep inside there was a tint of joy and gratitude. At least he gave me the experience of being loved. We did our best. Perhaps it just was not meant to be.
"Tell…Tell Shinji…I…love…him…" I did not understand why, but I could not stop the tears streaming down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes and waited for the slow, painful death. Every second was agony. Moments of tension passed, but there was only silence. Slowly, I opened my eyes again, only to see the vice commander lowering his weapon, until he finally rested it on the floor. He stood back up after that.
"Kick it away," The commander ordered. The vice-commander complied. "Good, now do you understand your weakness, Fuyutsuki?"
"Humanity is my strength." He said firmly.
The commander aimed his gun at the vice-commander and fired two shots, both bullets piercing into his knees. The old man managed to stifle his scream, but he fell awkwardly to the ground, panting heavily. His once neatly kept hair was now a mess; his face showing exhaustion and despair.
"Look at yourself, old fool. This is where humanity gets you." The commander fired two more shots into the old man's shoulders, totally obliterating any possible movements from the fallen man. He cried in pain. My heart wept for the kind man, but I felt totally ragged as the commander threw me to the side and stood up himself. He then walked towards the vice-commander before crouching down beside him.
I began to feel light-headed, as the blood seeped through the wounds and started to slowly drain away my spirit and hope. My legs were completely lost; I felt they were no longer mine. My arms, good or broken, were still tied on the back. It became very tempting to close my eyes and sleep, but I knew once I lost consciousness, I might never recover it again. I wanted to see him at least one more time.
The commander felt around the vice-commander's body, searching for something. It did not take him long to find it. He retrieved the metallic object from the injured man's pocket and grinned. "Like I said, simply changing the password will not stop me."
The vice-commander mumbled something, but his words had become muffled, or perhaps I had begun to lose my sense of hearing. I could not be sure. The commander stood up and walked to the entrance slot. He then opened a hatch and connected several wires to the metallic device he took from the vice-commander. I watched in despair as he keyed in a few words before the device's monitor began flashing a green light.
The commander laughed, "Now do you understand? Changing the password was just a waste of time, Fuyutsuki, because in the end, MAGI…or should I say Naoko, is still blindly on my side." He then unplugged the small metallic device and threw it to a side. "So the password is Fuyutsuki Yui, eh? You're one sick man, Fuyutsuki. Yui is mine and mine alone."
The commander ignored the weak protests from the vice-commander. He swiped his card through the slot and keyed in the new password. We waited. And then a robotic voice was heard. 'Access Granted'. The heavy metal door slid open.
His face twisted into a triumphant smirk, as he grabbed a loose end of the chain and pulled me violently with him through the entrance. I winced in pain as my broken elbow crushed along the floor. The torture stirred up an overwhelming urge to vomit, but I managed to force it down. I felt the light slowly fading.
And then it happened. My heart lit up. Hope returned.
At the corner of my eyes, I saw Shinji in the distance, running forward and holding something in his hands, pointing towards us. Suddenly, a gunshot was heard. The commander screamed miserably. More blood fall onto my face. The commander's blood…
"You're too late, Shinji!" He roared furiously and pressed a button on the wall. The metal doors slid shut immediately. I watched in anguish as Shinji gradually disappeared from my sight once again.
"Rei!" I heard him shout, soon followed by his fists banging on the door, "Rei are you alright? Answer me!"
"I…I…" I tried to speak, but could find no strength.
"It's already too late. Fuyutsuki could give him the password, but it'd still take ten minutes before he can open the door. It's a safety procedure." The commander said coldly before turning to me. "Now ignore him, and face your destiny!"
He took out a small leather bag from the pocket inside his coat. Grinning, he then opened it and revealed three tiny injection tubes. The commander crouched down beside me and pierced one of them into my arm. At first, it hurt as I felt the clumsy prick, but then I started to feel numb; my body did not feel like mine anymore.
"These are tranquilizer. I just need to make sure you can't rebel against me once I loosen the chains around you." The commander explained and gave me the second shot, "One wasn't enough to keep you from injuring me last time, so let's see what three will do, shall we?"
I started to loose feeling; my head started to float. The outline of the commander's face became indistinct. All I could see were blurred images moving around. Once I received the third and final shot, my mind became rushed with quick episodes of flashbacks. I knew I was fading away from reality, but there was nothing I could do. Shinji…so many images of Shinji…
Then, there was a click. I felt myself loosened as the chains were pulled off. And then the ropes were cut loose, but I still could not move. A rough hand grabbed my shirt. It pulled. Pieces of cloths were hastily ripped off. I felt cold…so cold…
"That's my obedient girl," The commander said, putting my limp body over his bare shoulder. It seemed that he had taken off his clothes as well. "Come, this is the moment that I have given you life for."
The other side of the entrance door was silent. The commander began to walk. I could not see properly where he was heading, but I could guess. Seconds passed, and then minutes. I tried to stay focus, but was not succeeding. The injections were producing full effect now. Even the pain on my broken arm had disappeared. I felt completely bathed in haze. The end was approaching. I sensed it.
The commander stopped at the thin line where the LCL Sea touched the shore. He then held me in the air by grabbing onto my neck. My head throbbed excruciatingly, but nothing could prepare me for what happened next. His hand stabbed through my stomach. My inner organs twisted violently. I wanted to scream away the agonising pain, but there was no more strength left. Blood gushed up my throat and I coughed it onto the commander. He laughed maniacally as we began to ascend.
Memories began to resurface…
When did he start to care? The first time we met, why did he choose to fight? I understood now. It was the same reason why he asked for a simple smile. Then, he protected me from the class bully. It was the first time I became aware of myself. I asked for a conversation. He gave me one that woke me up from an emotionless shell. The nights turned into horror, but I was grateful. In return, I offered to help him in an exam.
It started with simple things, which chained together to make the difference. How he offered me rides to school, how he shared an umbrella, how he gave me his lunch…But I rejected my own affections when finally given the chance to notice. I suffered in that long, dark night. He came, but left. I thought he came again, but it was someone else. It broke me, and I began searching for an end.
When we finally met in the meadows, my decision was already made. I was weak in the end, and I changed thoughts at the final moment. It was the beginning of another story. Long, hard and rough, but inside it was warm. Another misunderstanding happened, and my identity revealed. He turned away, but my heart never changed. I did what I could and protected him, hoping that my last action would earn forgiveness.
It became more than that. We met again in the place our fates intercepted. The bond grew stronger than ever, and we embarked on a run from the wrong destiny. I learned, and so did he, but we were forced apart once more. I feared that luck had faded. I wanted to see the future, but at least I lived, for the memories he gave…
I smiled.
Asuka's POV:
"I'm only doing this for Wonder Girl. I'll never forgive you and Kaworu."
A line spoken with anger, a tone I had never used since a long time ago. I had always been a short tempered person; that much I would admit. That was most likely the reason why my true friends were so few, considering my popularity. It hurt to lose the people I cared for, but being betrayed by them hurt even more. I didn't understand why I was so often kept in the dark. I honestly thought he was worth it.
I felt ashamed.
A sudden isolation from those whom I trusted most; I asked myself why this had to happen. I couldn't find any answer. So I asked myself again what would be the best thing to do next. Disappointed, regretful, depressed…so many things I felt, but then I couldn't seem to let go. There seemed to be a huge chunk of flesh taken away from me. I felt something missing.
Perhaps deep inside, I still considered myself one of them. Shinji, Rei, Kaworu and I…the time we had at the hideout were hard, but I suddenly felt the significance of those days. I found myself desiring to live out the rest of my life that way, and maybe it was for that reason that I was feeling so lonely now…
It was so hard to turn back, so difficult to let go of my inner pride and forgive them…
My eyes started to sting. Was it anger? Or was it frustration? I couldn't tell, I couldn't even tell the tears from the LCL fluid. The monitor around the plug showed the environment outside the Eva, but I felt detached. Piloting wasn't as interesting as it used to be. A short while later, I felt a large force pulling me from behind as Unit-02 was shot towards the surface. Misato didn't even bother with any briefing. I tried to mentally prepare myself for battle. I didn't succeed. There was too much on my mind.
I tried not to think anymore. I just wanted to win this battle.
The Eva arrived on the grounds of Tokyo-3 shortly after. I scanned the surrounding area, my instinct telling me that there was something missing, although I couldn't point out what it was that I felt. The tanks and the helicopters just looked too easy. They seemed amazingly small from where I towered over them. As soon as they noticed my Eva, they started regrouping and redirecting their fire power against me. It didn't concern me however. AT-Field would still be too much for their weak assault.
Feeling confident, I drew the progressive knife.
Nothing happened.
I tried to take a step forward.
Nothing happened again.
It was then a cold chill crept its way up along my skin. The LCL fluid suddenly felt so freezing. The same emotions flowed through my mind as I was reminded of the time I failed to save Rei, only this time I was the one in danger. I fought down an urge to vomit, and with my remaining strength I yelled into the radio transmitter, "Misato! Misato can you hear me!"
The commander…the commander changed the sequence before we fought the 16th Angel, but very few people knew the truth, and those who knew had not changed it back.
I waited, but the response never came. I would be lying if I said I wasn't panicking. Unit-02, standing in the middle of the city, was now defenceless against their attacks, and suddenly I felt so vulnerable. Not even a trace of self assurance was there anymore. I gave up my pride, but it was too late when I realised it, "Misato I can't synch with the Eva! Misato help!"
Again, there was no word from her. The radio was dead silent, and the only thing I heard was the increasing pace of my own heart beat. The SEELE troops were now ready to launch their first attack. I tried desperately to inject some life into Unit-02, pulling the triggers so violently until my hands began to feel worn. The blood seeped out painfully from the broken skin, but it was nothing compared to what I felt inside. I knew there was no chance of me reactivating my Eva. Nothing could be done until its sequence was changed back to match mine. I felt so helpless…
It was a traumatic sight when I stared at the countless of missiles rocketing towards my direction. The first blow came hard, but not enough to knock me out. I felt every single one of the explosion that tried to blast my skin open. My head began to crack, and I felt broken in pieces. Another one burst just beside the face, as a blazing pain soared across my cheeks. I screamed.
"AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH…!"
The assault continued mercilessly as Unit-02 stumbled backwards and landed on the floor. Even then, the missiles showered from the sky, each thrust seemingly more and more brutal as I rocked side to side from the excruciating pain. I felt myself being slowly eaten away. I didn't even dare look at myself anymore. It was so cold. I couldn't remember how long it lasted, as I found myself closing my eyes and curling into a ball. The hate filled pride that filled me moments ago was replaced by one phrase.
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
Perhaps my final moment had arrived, for I started to see flashes of my past memories. The life back in Germany was hollow. Sad things happened, but I could remember very few. It had always been so empty. I never knew who my real father was, but I considered myself lucky that at least there were days when my mother would caress me lovingly. They didn't last long, but at least I knew what it felt like. A part of me died when I saw her limp form hanging from the ceiling, and from that day onwards, everything changed. I grew defiant, and bathed myself in an overwhelming desire to be the best. This sense of elitism made me miss out on a lot of things, some meaningful, others not, but since when had a person been built solely on happy experience?
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
I never lived again until I came to Tokyo-3. At first, I didn't like it here. I thought these people were filthy and unworthy of my grace, but Misato and Shinji's attitudes changed that. I began to feel, began to regain a sensation I had lost since my mother passed away. Things changed and got better, and although I kept my aggressive nature, for once I was happy again. By the time I found out what happened to Rei, I was no longer surprised by my own willingness to help, even though she hadn't exactly treated me as a friend before that. Shinji and Rei quickly became the two people I cared about most, although the romance developed between them sometimes made me feel lonely.
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
It wasn't long before my own destiny came. I met Kaworu and he showed me something I had always craved for. There was always an aura about him that made me feel my own presence and importance to those around me. I enjoyed his compliments, and yet I was impressed by the way he mentioned my short comings. Instead of feeling insulted, his comments made me realise that like everyone else, I was just a normal human being that made mistakes and couldn't be blamed for my imperfection. It loosened a lot of pressure for me, and I found myself rapidly becoming attached to him.
The revelation that he was an Angel didn't work well with me, probably because I learnt it from the commander, not Kaworu himself. And to make things worse, it happened when everyone was present, and now all of them knew how I had been deceived. I felt anger, a fire rising but I regretted the moment I slapped him. I thought that move would change everything, and that our budding relationship would never be the same again. He didn't hold it against me, however, the boy tried to talk me into helping Rei.
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"I don't want to die…"
Perhaps it wasn't right to blame Kaworu. I didn't blame Rei for not telling Shinji the truth, and I honestly felt disgusted at the way Shinji turned away from her. She only wanted the best for him, and she didn't want to hurt him. Perhaps I was just acting like Shinji did; perhaps no one was at fault; perhaps Kaworu thought I wasn't ready; perhaps he just didn't feel that I could accept him in this stressful period if he revealed himself.
I understood now. I wanted to forgive, to let them know that I still wanted to be one of them, but it seemed that fate had decided that I didn't deserve the chance. The missiles bombardment carried on as I began to weep.
"Mother…what should I do?"
"Live on…I won't let you die…Live strong…Live honest…Don't die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"Live on…I won't let you die…Live strong…Live honest…Don't die…"
"Mother what should I do?"
"Live on…I won't let you die…Live strong…Live honest…Don't die…"
"I don't want to die…"
"Live on! I won't let you die! Live strong! Live honest! Don't die!"
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"
My eyes shot open. A surge of overwhelming warmth washed over the entry plug along with a brilliant light. A figure emerged from the white and for once, I could taste the love of a mother again. The agony was gone, being replaced by a soothing presence. I thought it was my imagination, one that will take me away from existence to the journey after life, but everything felt so real.
She extended her hand, seemingly inviting me. It was so tempting, and yet somehow I felt young again, being cared again, by someone I lost so long ago.
"Mother…is that you?" I asked, slightly trembling. And then her face appeared; the gentle features telling me that all this time, she had been here watching over me. Slowly, my hand reached forward to meet hers, and once our hands finally touched, the light cleared and the monitors started to function again.
"I see…I understand now…" I said staring at my still bleeding hands. There were a few scratches along my arms and legs, but none of them were too serious. "You live in me, mother, and I've never been alone. I think I understand now."
'SYSTEM OVERWRITING. SECOND CHILD: SOHRYU ASUKA LANGLEY. PILOT STATUS CONFIRMED.'
I grabbed the triggers and pulled.
"I won't disappoint you, mother."
The Eva stood up once again, as a rain of bullets headed towards me. With fire flowing through my veins, I leapt up and soared into the sky. The missiles trailed from behind, exploding before they could even touch me. No words could describe how I felt on the inside, and I knew this would be my last battle, be it a victory or a defeat. I glided through the air and landed on a group of tanks, flattening them into pieces of metallic chunks.
"Let us battle side by side."
Before I had time to grin at their destruction, a huge elongated missile hit me on the face as I felt a small seep of blood coming out from my nose. Another soon approached but I managed to stop it by grabbing it with my hand. Both missiles exploded and I felt my skin slightly burnt by the fire. Nevertheless, I emerged from the flames and stared defiantly at the two assault planes that attacked me. These were nothing compared to real Angels.
They started firing bullets at me again. Without further delay, I grabbed one of them and turned it around so that its bullets were directed at the other assault plane, which was soon filled with holes from the penetration. It then crashed to the ground with a blast, destroying a few tanks along the way. I bent my knee slightly and slammed the remaining plane onto it, breaking it into two halves of wasted metals.
"I understand the meaning of AT-Field now, mother, it has been with me all along."
More helicopters appeared; the tanks and ground missile launchers had gathered together to concentrate their firepower on me. I walked slowly towards them; there was no need to rush. I intended to finish them off one by one, without mercy. My battle plan changed quickly, however, when one of the missiles hit the Eva cable and severed my electrical supply. I released the cable plug on my Eva and glanced at the monitor. It said I had five minutes.
"Without the umbilical cable, I still have twelve billion shocking cells in the AT-Field!" I found myself shouting confidently.
I continued to walk towards the invaders, as their persistent missiles kept firing on my Eva. Stopping halfway, I swiped my arm horizontally across, generating an imperious orange light that cut four helicopters into pieces of unrecognisable mass. Another two assault planes appeared from the back and started firing bullets, wasting their efforts against my colossus Eva. Time was my only concern. The seconds were ticking away non-stop as I fought the enemies.
"I'll never surrender!"
I swiped the plane from the side, turning it around and grabbed its tail, swinging it to the left, crashing it into another one of its kind, eliminating both of them in one swift blow. Turning around, I stared at another helicopter as I lifted my leg and hammered it from the top, breaking it into pieces. Two more appeared on the right; they never stopped showering me with their bullets. I punched a hole through one of them, bursting it into flames. The other seemed to have realised that simple bullets would never work against my Eva, for it backed away slightly, trying to escape. I pounced on the assault plane, grabbed its wings and twisted them unusable. Then, I seized its body and slammed it onto the nearest group of tanks and infantries.
I stood there, scanning them from the top as those who survived desperately flowed out of the city. Their air force had been completely annihilated; their ground force retreating and in a total mess. My inside swelled with pride as I savoured the taste of another victory.
It was then I noticed nine gigantic shadows looming over the land. I looked up at the sky; a fleet of super air carriers was seen soaring across the magnificent blue. My curiosity peaked as I found myself staring intensely at the new company. Seconds later, a white mass emerged from each of the planes. They were dropped off from the carriers soon afterwards.
The nine black air carriers then flew out of sight, leaving nine masses of white humanoids gliding in the sky, circling around the city like vultures. As they slowly descended upon Tokyo-3, their shapes became recognisable, and their faces clear. I tried hard to fight down the sudden fear, and was only partially successful. These elongated machines were different from any of the enemies I had encountered, for they were originally built to be our allies.
"Eva series…has it been completed?"
The ground trembled as nine of them landed all at once. Their feathery white wings were neatly folded before disappearing into a device attached to their backs; each of them carried a broad blade in one hand. As I looked closer, I was surprised at how sinister and organic they looked. Unlike mine, they had no eyes. Their worm-like heads were decorated only by a mouth that seemed to be grinning. The hair at the back of my neck stood up as I stared at them in horror and disgust. I found myself being surrounded.
"So these are my real opponents? They sure don't look as easy…" I said to myself and glanced at the countdown, "Nine in 3.5 minutes. That means I have to destroy one every 20 seconds."
I took another scan at the enemies. None of them had moved much since the landing. My instinct and battle experience told me that they were still trying to get accustomed to the terrains. If I took the defensive role, chances were that they would pounce on me together, and my Eva would most likely be torn into shreds in less than a few seconds. So I decided to go on the offence, and hopefully that would earn me enough time to deal with all of them.
"GO!"
I ran towards the one standing directly opposite me. It caught him by surprise when I jumped forward and with my hands, I pressed the entire weight of my Eva onto his face. The head deformed and exploded from the pressure as I landed behind him. Then, I grabbed his limp body and held it horizontally above my head. My hands turned and twisted his body until it burst brutally into a shower of blood.
"That wasn't too hard."
The rest of them were still not moving. Without any delay, I ran towards another one. Once I got close enough, I leapt forward and kicked him in the torso. He stumbled backwards and fell into the lake behind him. I unleashed the progressive knife and proceeded to stab him through the head. With a firm grip, I twisted the knife and sliced it across, silencing him in another swift blow.
I got out from the lake immediately and rushed towards the third one. As he noticed me, the white Eva raised his right hand, holding the broad blade and preparing to swipe the heavy weapon down on me. Being equipped with a light weapon had its advantages, and it showed here when I evaded his attack with a slick move, and then severed his right arm with the progressive knife. Injured and without its weapon, the Eva struggled as I stabbed the knife into his shoulder, but it didn't work out as the knife broke when I tried to pull it out. Before I managed to recover, he seized my head with his remaining arm as I screamed in pain. Gathering all my strength, I dealt him another blow to the stomach and kicked him away. I then stood up and wrapped my arm around his neck as we began to wrestle each other. It didn't take long to settle this battle fortunately, as he collapsed lifeless once I broke its neck.
There wasn't time to recompose myself. As soon as I finished the third one, the fourth came down attacking from above. I barely managed to dodge his blade as I rolled over to the right and picked up the broad blade I found lying on the way. The white Eva rushed forward and swiped his weapon towards me. I hit back with mine and we fought a duel of brute strength. My wrists hurt every time we exchanged a blow, but in the end Unit-02 proved to be superior with its agility as I hammered the blade into his neck and decapitated him.
By then, three more had come and surrounded me. They must have thought that I would take a defensive stance, for one of them stood still as I swinged my broad blade across his torso, slicing him into halves. I never gave them the time to recover. Turning around as fast as I could, I swiped the blade towards the sixth Eva, but it only managed to severe his left leg. He fell backwards and landed heavily on a hill, immobilised and helpless. I aimed my broad blade at him and slammed the sharp end onto his neck, sending his head flying across the land.
Just as I turned to face the seventh one, he slammed his body onto mine, tackling me to the ground. I pushed back with all my might, but he tried to pin me down with equal force. With our weapons already abandoned at a side, we struggled against each other with bare hands. Seeing that time was running out and the battle was going nowhere, I directed my shoulder plate at his jaw. I then fired the sharp projectiles into his head, sending him crashing backwards onto a hill where he lay motionless.
"Seven down; two more to go," I said confidently and took another glance at the countdown, "Less than a minute left…still more than enough!"
The eighth Eva rushed forward and our arms were soon interlocked in a fierce struggle. I tried to strangle him but wasn't successful, so I raised my knee and smashed it into his stomach. His elongated body curled slightly in pain; his arms lost their firm grip on mine from the temporal shock. I seized the chance, grabbed him by the shoulder and slammed him into the nearest building. It was then I spotted from the corner of my eyes that the ninth one was approaching.
"I'll definitely win! Mother is watching me!"
I pulled the limp Eva from the rubbles and tossed it towards the ninth. It collided with him, leaving him momentarily stunned.
"This is the final blow!"
I ran forward and with all my might, I punched a fist into the eighth, sending a shockwave to the ninth who were still stacked behind his comrade. This was followed by another punch to the stomach which went right through the eighth's torso into the ninth. I could feel his insides, and I showed no mercy as I grabbed a random mass and twisted it violently. Both the last remaining Evas twitched in agony. There were barely more than ten seconds left on the clock.
It was then I suddenly felt a malicious presence looming. Something dark, something powerful, something that would bring death…
I gave in to instinct and turned around, barely catching a glimpse of a broad blade rocketing towards me in a stunning speed. Out of reflex, I withdrew my arm from the two lifeless Evas and raised it against the invading weapon, generating an AT-Field. The broad blade was stopped half-way in the air by the massive flash of orange light. I stared into the large chunk of metal, wondering where it came from, and expecting it to drop to the ground. It didn't happen, and I was shocked by what followed next.
The broad blade deformed and reshaped into a weapon that once saved my life.
"Lance…Lance of Longinuss?"
I wasn't given the time to recover. The AT-Field was shattered immediately, and a split second later, a wave of breaking pain shot through the left side of my face. I never saw it coming.
"AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH…!"
My hand reached up and covered my face instantaneously, half expecting it to be blown apart. Instead, I felt something wet trickling down my cheeks. I didn't have to guess what it was. The clock kept beeping, signalling that the internal energy supply had depleted. Unit-02 stumbled backwards as I felt myself being nailed to the floor in the eye.
"AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH…!"
The screams never stopped as I once again found myself pulling the triggers viciously, desperately hoping that this would somehow activate the Eva back to functioning. The pain grew worse with each passing moment. I couldn't even find the courage to open my eyes anymore. I was afraid of what I would see.
My voice soon grew hoarse and my throat began to feel inflamed. I could barely hear the disturbing growls from the Eva series. Seconds passed, and then minutes. The growls gradually turned into savage roars. My heart began to beat uncomfortably from fear and despair. Slowly, I opened my eyes. It was painful at first, but then it grew numb. Another drop of liquid trailed down my cheeks. I wiped it away; it was red. As soon as I adjusted to the light, I knew I had lost the eye.
The nine Mass Production Evas were all up in the air, gliding in circle and each carrying a spear except one. Some of them were still bleeding; others were missing heads or limbs. They all wanted revenge, and with Unit-02 silent I was open to any attacks they were planning. I felt helpless, and perhaps it wasn't so surprising when I found myself crying. There was so much more I wanted to do, so much more I wanted to see and so much more I wanted to tell those who ever cared about me.
It wasn't long before they began to descend upon me. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the final moment.
Wonder Girl…how long had it been since I last called her that? There was sarcasm hidden in the two words, but somehow I was saddened when I found myself uttering them to Shinji just now. Perhaps Kaworu was right. Rei wasn't the one to blame either. She tried to convince him to tell me, but he just didn't listen. It rang a bell at the back of my mind, a place where my past memories was kept. It happened weeks ago.
I remembered telling a shaken Rei that day, that it would be wise for her to reveal her identity to Shinji. She was so fragile back then, desperately holding to something she had just gained, so scared of losing them again. At the time, I was just doing something any friend would have done, giving advice and such. I didn't want either of them to get hurt. It didn't work out in the end, but now I found myself realising that Rei had just followed my lead, and she did so by asking Kaworu to be honest.
I couldn't bring myself to blame her after that.
Perhaps it wasn't hard to understand why Kaworu never told me the truth either; perhaps he just never realised betrayal hurt more than truth; perhaps he kept it from me because he cared, just like how much Rei cared about Shinji. There were so many things to think about, so many things that seemed simple yet confusing.
And perhaps Rei and Shinji never told me because they knew I would have wanted to learn the truth from Kaworu himself…
"Sorry…Kaworu…sorry…my friends…thank you and farewell…"
I waited for the inevitable, but it never came. All I could hear was a piercing swish followed by an ear splitting explosion that occurred a fair distance away from me.
My mind began to fade as the injuries started to take its toll. Nevertheless, I gathered the remaining strength and opened my eyes once more. There, looming over my fallen Eva towered a familiar figure. Its purple armour blazed brilliantly in the sun; the imperious form stood defiantly between the enemies and me; his right hand held a blood red spear, slightly larger and much more elegant than the ones the enemies were carrying. I remembered the weapon. It was the original Spear of Longinuss.
When I took another weak glance up at the sky, there were only eight of them left. The white Evas were still circling the city like deadly predators. Seconds later, two of them came swiping downwards. I never saw how it happened, but the next thing I knew, one of them had its body cut into four quarters with the lines crossing exactly at where the entry plug should be; the other was reduced into a bloody pulp, with its plug squashed into pieces in the hand of Unit-01.
I never knew Shinji could move that fast.
The sunlight seemed to have grown faint; the borders of the figures flying up there in the sky gradually became blurred as I found my own vision slowly darkening with each passing moment. It suddenly became very tempting to just fall asleep. My limbs were getting heavy and the pain on my left eye had disappeared. I felt tired…so exhausted. I could barely imagine Unit-01 slicing another two opponents, before darkness overtook me and I lost consciousness.
I soon found myself bathed in a tranquil presence. There was no light, and the only thing I felt was the soothing waves repetitively washing over me. A gentle voice woke me up from the trance.
"Asuka…Asuka…my child…"
"M-Mother? I-Is that you?"
"Asuka…you did well…I'm so proud of you…"
"But I failed, mother, I lost. I…I've let you down…"
"Do you remember what I told you, Asuka?"
"…You…you told me to live strong and honest…"
"Yes…live strong knowing your strength comes with your friends…live honest knowing your own feelings and never betray them…"
"W-Wait Mother! Are you leaving me?"
"No, my child, always remember that I live in you…"
"But I…I…I understand…mother…"
"There are people who truly love you, Asuka…and you must return to them…"
"But I miss you…I miss you so much…"
"Don't be locked in the past and forget to live, my child…"
"…Will I ever see you again, mother?"
"In your heart you will see me, and in peace I will watch over you…"
The moment stretched as tears began to stream down my face. Slowly, my hand trembling, I wiped the tears away.
"Can I…can I touch you…once more…mum?"
A warm light gradually replaced the darkness; and in the light I felt her presence, her touch, her caress…It felt like eternity, felt so peaceful, something I would cherish forever. And as she mouthed the immortal three words, her haunting memory was forgotten, and the mother I knew and loved, lived once again in my heart.
"Thank you…and I love you too, mum…"
When I reopened my eyes, the only thing I could see was a white ceiling. The room was dimly lit only by the white light outside in the corridor. My hands started to feel around, and shortly afterwards I realised that I was lying on a bed. The ECG monitor beeped in a short distance away, disturbing the otherwise silent room. I turned my head to the right and saw the boy sitting by my side, with his silvery hair decorating a concerned face.
"You…you're awake, Asuka!" Kaworu exclaimed happily.
"Where…" I tried to speak, but my voice came out hoarse as I let out a few coughs. He handed me a glass of water immediately. The liquid tasted pleasant to my lips. After taking a few sips, I continued, "Where am I? How did I get here?"
"This is the NERV hospital wing. We found you unconscious in the entry plug. There was blood and I…I thought you were…" He tried to speak clearly, but I could tell he was trying hard to suppress the sobs. "I thought I came too late…I was very worried…"
"Why? What happened?"
"Shinji went with Misato, so I boarded Unit-01. It took a while, but I managed to get it moving. By the time I reached the surface, you were already injured, and…" Kaworu sighed and stopped halfway, seemingly not knowing if he should continue.
"And what?"
"I don't know what happened. Perhaps I was just furious, but I saw the Lance of Longinuss coming down from the sky. It stopped beside me, so I decided to use it."
"The original Lance…"
"Yes, the original one. The Eva series belonged to SEELE, and I had a close relationship with them. So I knew the only way to kill them was to destroy their entry plugs. They were all Dummy-Plug operated."
"So you defeated all of them in the end?"
"Yes, I demolished every single one of them! I thought those filthy bastards deserved hell after how they…" Kaworu shook with anger as his eyes flared up, but quickly returned to his gentle self once I took his hand. "I-I'm sorry…I went a bit too far. It's just that whenever I think about how they hurt you, I…"
"Where are the others?" I cut him off, my hand still resting on his.
"Oh…They found Misato, Maya and Fuyutsuki near Terminal Dogma. All of them were injured, and they're now in the hospital wing too, together with Makoto," He replied solemnly, "As for Rei and Shinji…"
"What about them?"
"They still haven't been found. The entrance to Terminal Dogma had been sealed and we couldn't get through, but I believe Rei and Shinji are still somewhere inside…"
"Sealed? How did that happen?"
"I don't know, Asuka, but something happened inside Terminal Dogma," Karowu took a deep breath before continuing, "Third Impact had failed; I could no longer feel the presence of Adam and Lilith."
After hearing the news, I turned my head to face the other direction. Admittedly, I was very worried about those two. Things hadn't gone as smoothly as we had hoped. A tear of despair slowly found its way down my cheeks. My hand reached upwards to wipe it away. As my fingers brushed along my eyes, I felt a piece of soft cotton patched to my left eye. I caressed it gently, feeling somewhat saddened by the loss.
Kaworu seemed to have noticed it, "Don't worry Asuka, the doctor said it was only temporary. He told me your eye would recover in no more than a few months."
I was grateful, but this new piece of information did little to lighten my mood, for I somehow still felt the dreading hollow in my heart. Victory was none-existent if one of us was taken away; and I knew a loss like this would forever haunt the memories of those who survived. I kept silent. There wasn't much I wanted to talk about at a time like this.
"You don't have to worry about Rei and Shinji either," Kaworu spoke after a while, "Kaji is leading the UN rescue team, and they're going to drill a hole into Terminal Dogma. Everything will turn out fine."
There was something in his voice that reminded me of my own promises when I was out there in Unit-02. I wanted to forgive, but something seemed to be holding me back. Perhaps I wanted to be sure that Rei and Shinji were both alright before doing anything. My affection for Kaworu was still there, if not stronger than ever. However, it just didn't seem to be the right moment for romance. Then again, perhaps this wasn't fair for him either…
"Do you…do you still blame me?" Kaworu asked after another long silence, "I'm sorry, Asuka. I should've told you earlier. I apologise for my ignorance."
I couldn't understand why; perhaps it was my pride, but with him taking the initiative, it suddenly felt a lot easier. It was then I realised that my hand was still touching his. Giving it a gentle squeeze, I smiled and turned to face him once more. "There's nothing to forgive."
His face lit up immediately, although I could see the shock in his eyes, "Asuka, I…"
"Kaworu," I stopped him half-way.
"Yes?"
"You said you could no longer feel the presence of Adam and Lilith."
"No, I couldn't."
"Can you still feel the presence of Rei?" I asked, eager to hear the answer, and yet was afraid of knowing it. Kaworu returned a firm squeeze on my hand, concern clearly showing on his face. He then directed his gaze outside the window. We stayed quiet in this silent tension, before he looked back at me and replied.
"Barely."
Shinji's POV:
I was too late. By the time I arrived, my father had forced the entrance shut.
Frustrated, I slammed my fists onto the metal barrier, but there was no response from the other side of the door. No voices from Rei, not even from my father, it was completely silent.
"It's no use…the door is sound proof…" The vice commander was still lying on the ground, wheezing heavily. It was the first time I paid any attention to him since coming down here. His face was old, and the grey hair was plastered onto his sweaty forehead. In his eyes I saw pain, anger and perhaps shame.
"How do I open the door?" I asked, crouching down beside him.
"You have to key in the password…"
"What is the password?"
He looked away from me and mouthed quietly, "Fuyutsuki Yui…I'm sorry, Shinji."
I was slightly shocked at hearing the password, but I managed to recompose myself immediately. I stood up and rushed to the entry device beside the entrance door. Trying hard not to panic, I typed in the words carefully and waited. A line of capital red words then appeared on the screen.
"SEQUENCE CURRENTLY NOT OPERATIONAL. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER."
"It's a security procedure…" The vice commander said just loud enough for me to hear, "You need to wait for ten minutes before you can get it activated again…"
"Damn!" I shouted and kicked the door angrily, "Is there other way I can get in?"
"There is another way, the one Rei used to retrieve the Lance of Longinuss, but it's going to take you more than ten minutes I'm afraid…"
There was a tingling sensation building up on the lower half of my body. Mentally, I tried hard to digest this piece of information, but I couldn't. I guess in a certain way, I was refusing to accept that there was nothing I could do at the moment, while Rei's safety hung on a thin thread on the other side of the door with my father. My mind went numb with flashes of horrible scenes, each of them being a possibility of what was happening to Rei while I waited here.
"I'm sorry, Shinji. I couldn't stop him." The vice commander said as I sat down dejectedly. "I couldn't bear seeing your father torturing Rei endlessly…"
"What did he do?" I asked, anger starting to boil.
"He shot her lower spine and her right elbow. She was in tremendous pain…sorry Shinji…"
There was a long silence as I began to tremble. I could just imagine her sitting there helplessly as my father pulled the trigger. Even the blood stains were still there on the floor. My hand reached forward and touched it, drawing a few drops of the red liquid. This was her blood…her innocent blood…blood without sins…
"How was she coping?" I broke the silence after a while.
The vice commander sighed heavily before answering, "Not well at all…she wanted me to tell you that…that she loves you…"
My eyes stung as the anger faded slightly. This was followed by an unstoppable flow of tears through my eyes, and my heart ached whenever I was reminded of the blood she shed. These ten minutes were perhaps the longest ten minutes I had ever experienced. The way she smiled, the words she spoke, her forgiving nature, the time we had together, it all came back again while I waited.
And then something started to burn. There was a wave of fire, and then another, and then another, and my mood changed. The anguish slowly transformed into a violent storm. A silent rage steadily diffused across on the inside, and the tears stopped. An eerie calm took over as I stood up, the gun loosely held in my right hand.
Ten minutes had gone.
"He'll pay for his sins." There was an unexplainable determination when I spoke again. "I'll make it my personal business that he never sees daylight again."
"Shinji…" I heard the vice commander say, but chose to ignore him.
I walked to the entry device, and with a much stable rhythm this time, I keyed in the password and pressed enter. A monotonous voice was heard soon after.
"ACCESS GRANTED."
The door slid open, revealing a white gigantic humanoid form being nailed to an odd looking red cross. The purple mask on its face was split open at seven different places, each of them showing a haunting gaze of its eye. It was most likely the being called Lilith. Below the creature was a sea of orange fluid known as LCL. The room was silent; the sight was disturbing, and when I took another careful glance, I saw Rei and my father floating high up in the air, slowly approaching the Angel.
He had an arm buried inside her abdomen.
A sudden lump formed inside my throat, and I struggled to fight down the urge to vomit. A part of me was torn when I realised that the chances of Rei surviving this encounter had just been reduced by half. Without further delay, I held my gun tight and ran towards the sea.
I could only do my best and hope.
By the time I arrived at the shore, half of my father's body was already inside Lilith. Rei, however, was still outside, but not for long if I didn't act quickly. I flicked on the laser pointer and aimed the weapon at my father. I adjusted the gun until the red dot lay firmly on his arm that was still inside Rei. And then I fired.
The bullet pierced into his flesh as a few drops of blood rained down from above.
So I fired again, this time with more confidence, and my grip firmer. The bullet hit at around the same spot, and more blood was shed. Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself and emptied my ammo into his arm, turning it into a bloody mess until it finally broke off, and Rei was detached from my father once more.
Suddenly, there was a flash and the room was washed over by a blinding light. My eyes were forced shut, and a low powerful explosion was heard booming through the trembling air. The earth underneath me shuddered as I fell backwards onto the floor. Soon, my ears were filled with voices, so many voices that I couldn't even recognise, and all whispering in a language I never knew. I felt so small in the waves, and soon even time began to weave slowly. New feelings surfaced, feelings that I never knew existed all flowed through my veins. I became awed and soon, overwhelmed by the tides. A peak was reached, and then it slowly faded. The wistful whispers stopped, so did the emotional surges; the power turned into a soothing presence that gradually floated away until it finally disappeared, leaving a euphoric sensation.
When I opened my eyes again, Lilith was slowly dissolving into the LCL Sea. The purple mask had fallen off, revealing a faceless head. There was also a strange, slightly sour smell rapidly building up, although I could find no explanation. Nevertheless, it didn't take me long to spot a thin, pale body lying on the shore not far away from me. My heart lit up a little as I ran towards her.
The sight that greeted me killed my rising hopes instantly. Rei was bleeding seriously from the hole punctured in her abdomen; her right arm was painfully bent in an odd angle; her legs looked wasted; her chest heaved weakly from the tiny breaths she drew with her white lips. I bent and crouched down beside her.
"Rei…Rei can you hear me?" I couldn't stop crying when I held her cold hand in mine.
Her eyelids gradually lifted; the long eyelashes dancing as her eyes flickered open, "…Shinji? Shinji…you came…"
"Yes of course I came, I'd never abandon you," I sobbed and pulled her into a hug, "Come on. Let's get out of here." She cringed as I lay her broken arm gently between us, and then I held her tightly to my chest and stood up. "Don't worry, Rei. You'll be fine."
I walked hastily back towards the exit. I tried my best to keep Rei as still as possible, so that she wouldn't be hurt more than she already was. However, just before I reached the outlet, something brushed by my left arm and hit the control machinery beside the door, bursting it into a flame of fire. The skin around my arm started to burn painfully from the scratch. Slightly surprised, I turned around and saw my father standing there, a gun held in his hand.
"You…You ruined the Third Impact…" He exhaled in a deep, ominous voice, "You ruined MY Third Impact…you think I'm going to let you live after what you've done!"
His words were threatening, but nothing could be more traumatising than when I looked at his body. His hair had completely fallen off, and so did his eyebrows; his bare eyelid blinked sickeningly without its eyelashes; the skin covering his body was overstretched and shiny; his right arm was missing and the blood still seeping from the wound; his superficial veins were now swollen and visible all over the body; the injury in his groin had reopened and become a bloody mess.
"I'm taking you two down with me!" He shouted and aimed the gun at us. Acting on instinct, I turned my back towards him and shielded Rei with my body. The gun clicked, but nothing happened. And then it clicked again, and again, and again until it eventually grew desperate. I glanced backwards and realised that my father had run out of ammo. He threw the weapon away and started limping towards us in an odd gait.
I managed to recover quickly and continued towards the only exit in Terminal Dogma. By the time I arrived near the door, its control machinery had been completely destroyed by the fire. There was no way I could open the steel plates manually, so I kicked the door and shouted for help, "Commander Fuyutsuki! Help! Open the door!"
There was no response from him. It was then I remembered that the door was sound proof. I turned around and faced my father, who was steadily progressing towards us. Even more horrifying was the sight I saw next.
Far away in the open sea of LCL, the NERV ship was slowly sinking into the orange fluid. A greyish fog surrounded the damaged vehicle as its metal slowly rotted and evaporated into the air. The bitterish sour smell grew stronger than ever. I soon realised that Lilith's blood had turned the LCL fluid into a sea of acid, and the dissolving liquid was rapidly filling up the shore.
"Oh no…" I heard my voice trembling. Turning around, I resumed kicking the door, this time more forcefully, "Open up damn it! If you don't open now it's all over!"
It had no effect, but I was getting desperate, and there was nothing else I could do. The door still wouldn't open, and I finally stopped when I heard Rei moaning in pain. Her eyes were forced shut, and her left arm clutched on tightly to her broken one.
I tried to look around for other solutions, and was slightly relieved when I saw that not far away, there was a small platform standing at around fifty metres above the ground. It was attached to the right side of the wall, and there was a ladder leading up to the platform. It might just be a temporary shelter, seeing as how there was nothing that led further upwards, but I decided that at least it could protect us from the overflowing LCL acid.
"Don't worry Rei. I'll get you to safety," I tried to sound reassuring, but I couldn't even tell if Rei heard me clearly. I then gave up on the door and proceeded towards the ladder, with my father following not far behind.
Once I reached the ladder, I took off my shirt and tied Rei closely to my body using the piece of cloth, with her chest pressing tightly against mine. I then wrapped her left arm around my neck and both her legs around my waist. I made sure that the knot was secured enough before I started to climb, "Hold on Rei. Everything's going to be fine…"
The climb wasn't easy, and the rusty ladder shook each and every time I took a further step. I was halfway up when I noticed that the shaking had started to get worse. Taking a deep breath, I glanced downwards and saw my father tailing us from behind and forcing his way up. By now, the ground surface of Terminal Dogma had been completely covered by the LCL liquid, and the lower end of the ladder was being gradually melted by the acid.
As soon as I arrived on top of the platform, I scanned the area carefully. It was a rectangular shape, with the longer sides at around ten metres, and the shorter ones at around five. One of the longer sides was attached to the wall, and the rest were bare. The vast sea of LCL acid spread across the horizon, and it seemed that this platform was the only shelter left in the entire Terminal Dogma. I then searched for a way to unscrew the ladder, hoping that this would prevent my father from reaching us, but I could find none.
I then untied the knot and lay Rei down gently near the wall. Her bleeding had stopped, but her skin felt extremely cold. I wrapped the shirt around her body and hugged her tightly to keep her warm.
"How are you feeling, Rei?" There was no answer from her, so I asked again, "Rei? Can you hear me? How are you feeling?"
She then opened her eyes and looked at me, "I feel cold…Shinji…"
"Don't worry. I'm here right beside you. It's ok…everything will be fine…" I said firmly, but was unsure if I even believed myself, "Stay with me, Rei-chan…"
She didn't give any further response. It was soon afterwards that I heard the metallic clanking on the ladder grew louder. He was approaching. I waited, and waited, and waited for him to arrive. My breaths grew rapid, and with each inhalation the flicker of fire in my lungs started to grow. Suddenly, the footsteps stopped, and a hostile silence took over. Slowly, I released Rei from my embrace, and even with my back facing him, I could feel him standing there, watching me, with the arrogant grin plastered on his ugly mask.
"Ah…I see all three of us are stuck here," He spoke at last with a wicked laugh, "It seems that we're heading towards the same fate."
My eyes began to burn; my teeth gritted behind the trembling lips; and my fists were clenched tightly as I felt my own fingernails digging into my palm; I could no longer felt the pain, or anything aside from the incredible strength soaring through my veins, "You know what? I'm glad you survived the explosion, and I'm glad you followed us up here, because you know why?"
"Why? I thought you hated me and wanted me dead?" He asked back.
I slowly stood up; there was an urge rising, an overwhelming desire to tear everything apart, to inflict pain on he who scarred the innocence, a lust for destruction. It was a feeling I used to only associate with Unit-01, but not anymore. I felt it as I turned to face him and breathed, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment…"
He laughed crudely, "So you're going to fight me with your bare hands?"
"Yes, with my bare hands, slow and painful so that you will feel every single drop of blood you shed today…and mother will be watching me from above…"
His face changed and twisted into an anger that matched mine, "YUI IS ON MY SIDE!"
"NOT ANYMORE!" I stormed and charged forward; fist held up in the air and prepared to strike, "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER, ROKUBUNGI!"
The first blow was slammed directly onto his face as he stumbled backwards and fell onto the ground. My hand stung from the punch, but there was a savage satisfaction when I saw him choking from the blood coming from his broken nose. As he stood up shakily, my thirst grew even stronger. My inner feelings gave me the reasons to mimic the sadistic grin of the father I once knew, but I didn't.
I waited for him to look into my eyes, and once he was ready, I went forward again and directed my fist towards his jaw. He raised his hand and with a roar, swiped the claw across my face. I was stopped halfway by the blow, as I felt trickles of blood streaming down from my broken cheeks, but pain was a feeling I had long forgotten before this fight. I spat the blood onto his face.
This triggered his next attack as his fist came straight for my face, but before it could reach me, I grabbed his one arm and locked it with mine.
"I want you to feel my fury…" I growled and with all my might, I slammed my other hand onto his defenceless abdomen. It was only the first of countless of blows as I directed punch after punch, each one harder and fiercer than the previous, until finally his already fragile skin broke and I buried my fist into his stomach. His face twisted in agony, but I wasn't fazed.
"Can you feel my pain now!" I grabbed a random mass and pulled my fist back out. And then I sent him flying backwards with another blow to the face. I dropped the bloody pulp to the floor. It was red and fleshy, but I couldn't tell what it was. My hand was stained with red liquid, some were his; others came from the torn skin on my hand. It was numb, but I felt sickeningly happy watching him reduced to a filthy mess.
Nevertheless, he laughed sarcastically and stood back up, "I've become weak, Shinji. My skin is rigid and I'm crippled. The failed Third Impact had drained away the little strength that I had and turned me into this pathetic state. You may win this fight, but I'm not complete, and it pleases me to know that you, Rei and I will die here together. There is no escape…the steam coming from the acid below there will burn us all alive…"
"You think that's going to stop me from killing you first?" I spat back in anger and rushed forward for another attack. I never saw it coming, but in a swift motion, he grabbed me by my neck and stopped my momentum. I digged my fingernails into his hand, and tried to force him to release me as I started to suffocate.
"You know what the irony is, Shinji?" He asked, tightening his grip on me, "I've bedded Rei and I bet you haven't even touched her most intimate parts yet. I'm the winner here."
His words triggered another violent fit of anger in me, as I roared back, "YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" I then raised my feet and buried it brutally into his groin. His old wound exploded as a gush of blood splashed across my leg. He screamed and released me instantly from the shock, but just as he bent down and clutched his groin, I grabbed onto his head and kneed him directly in the face, sending him staggering backwards. He then fell to the ground and twitched agonisingly, before lying there motionless.
His eye stared into the blank space ahead, and a seep of pinkish white material leaked from his wrecked forehead. I held on tightly to my sore knee; it must have been cracked from that final blow, but I was relieved that he was finally gone.
I didn't find it surprising that I felt no grief for the loss of my only blood relative. I then crawled tiredly towards Rei and lay her down on my lap. Her face was pale, and her lips white, but she was breathing normally. Her eyes opened when I embraced her once more. I felt her body tense as she turned and saw the fallen commander.
"It's alright, Rei, it's alright," I said reassuringly, "It's over now. He will never hurt you again."
Her muscles relaxed and she looked back at me. "Your face…what happened to your face?" She said as her hand reached up to caress my scratched cheeks.
"It's nothing serious. Don't worry, I'll be fine…" I replied, taking her hand into mine, "I'm sorry I came late, Rei…"
"No, Shinji…I am grateful. It means a lot to me…I thank you…"
"You don't have to thank me. I know you would've done the same for me," I said smiling.
"I wish you did not have to fight for me…I wish you did not have to get injured…I am sorry for being such a weak person…"
"Don't say that, you're not weak," I replied. I then bent forward and planted a kiss on her forehead, "Remember how you defeated that section two agent?"
My heart lit up when I saw her blushing slightly. She looked much healthier as she nodded softly and smiled. I brushed her hair to a side and gently stroke her skin. She was slowly becoming warmer as we stayed closely together. I then scanned the area carefully again. The LCL fluid had flooded Terminal Dogma, sealing off the entrance from where I came in. Fortunately, the acid had stopped forming since Lilith had been completely dissolved. There was no other escape route, however. The only thing we could do was hope for a rescue team to find us.
I returned my attention to Rei afterwards, and it was then I noticed the frightened look in her eyes. Before I could realise what was happening, a hand grabbed my hair from the back and pulled. I was violently lifted from the floor and then tossed to the edge of the platform. The upper half of my body hung loosely over the edge as I struggled to keep myself from falling down into the acid below.
Suddenly, the same hand seized my neck and pushed me downwards. I held on to his arm desperately and tried to stabilise myself with my legs. I then saw his face. As I stared into his eye, he began to mumble, "I'll kill you…I'll kill you…I'll kill you…I'll kill you…I'll kill you…"
My head throbbed painfully from the suffocation, and I was rapidly losing my strength. My body slipped through the edge centimetre by centimetre. Just as I was about to fall off, an angelic voice boomed through my ears.
"…Commander Ikari…"
He stopped pushing instantly; his hand released my neck. He then stood up and turned towards the source of the voice. I quickly rolled back onto the platform and sat up, my hand still rubbing my sore neck. And then the next series of events happened in a flash.
Rei was floating midair with her left hand stretched towards him. Her eyes were a blazing white; her hair danced elegantly; her body surrounded by an aura of brilliant light.
"Yui…" He said longingly, "Yui…you've come back to me…"
A plane of orange light soon appeared just in front of Rei. It then turned horizontal, and a heartbeat later, the hexagonal blade was sent slicing through his torso. His body stood still; the loving look on his face was replaced by shock, disappointment and despair. A thin line of blood formed across his abdomen as he choked.
"Why… why Yui… why have you forsaken me… why did you…choose…him…over…me…"
As soon as he finished the sentence, the upper half of his body slipped backwards and fell over the edge. I never heard the splash, for I was too concerned when I saw Rei coughed out a mouthful of blood before collapsing to the floor. I rushed forward and held her in my arms. The light surrounding her had disappeared and her eyes returned to their usual red once again. Before I could speak, however, an ear splitting scream was heard from the dissolving liquid below.
I hugged Rei tightly to my chest and held her hand firmly, as his screams haunted the otherwise silent room. It sent my heart into chaos, and I felt disturbed, as a picture his flesh being slowly eaten away by the invasive acid forced its way into my mind.
The seconds that followed felt like eternity. I guess in a way, I should feel satisfied by his demise, but I couldn't. Rei's thin frame trembled in my arms as I tried hard to block the voices, which rapidly became hoarse and weak. I silently prayed for the nauseating moment to be over, and was granted the wish when his voice finally ceased once and for all.
I waited with my heart hanging on a thread, afraid that he might even still be breathing. A tense moment passed, but there was nothing except the sound of silence. A heavy burden was released when I was finally convinced that he was gone.
Slowly, I released Rei from my tight embrace and lay her down gently on my lap. She looked extremely pale, and her skin began to turn cold once again. Her lips were white; her breaths were shallow and slow. Her eyes were squinted as she whimpered quietly in obvious pain. The wound on her abdomen had opened again and was now bleeding. I applied my shirt onto it, trying desperately to stop the blood. I held her hand in mine and gave it a firm squeeze.
The trauma I felt from his demise had suddenly been replaced by a dreadful fear of losing her.
"Rei, how are you feeling?" I asked; my voice cracked and trembling.
She opened her eyes and directed her gaze towards me. The emotions were very much alive in those two ruby orbs, but the expression on the soft curves of her face told me that she was in extreme agony. I didn't know what I could do.
"Don't worry," I said again, trying to sound confident though not completely successful, "They'll come here looking for us. It's over now, Rei. No one will hurt you ever again…"
Her body started to shake. My heart broke when I saw her weeping, "Shinji…I am scared…"
I stroke her face gently with my hand, "Try not to think about the pain, I'm sure the rescue team will be here soon. Stay strong for me, Rei-chan…"
"No…Shinji…I am afraid that I-"
"Shh…" I cut her off hurriedly by putting my finger over her mouth, "You'll be fine…I'm sure you'll be fine…"
She then nodded her head; her gaze never leaving me as I bent forward and kissed her. I was hoping that I could see her blush once more, but it didn't happen. My logic told me that she had lost too much blood, but I refused to listen. Instead, I planted another kiss, and this time on her lips. It was a simple one. I didn't try to open and invade her. It was a kiss to let her know the love I felt inside, and to let her know that no matter what happened, she must hold on for herself, and for me.
We parted lips soon after, but I was delighted when I saw her smiling. "You look so beautiful when you smile, Rei-chan…"
"T-thank you…" And then the magic happened. Her shivering faded, and she was blushing once more.
"So…what do you plan to do after this?" I tried to get her talking.
She looked a little confused, "What do you mean?"
"I mean your long term planning. Since NERV is over, what do you think we should do?"
"I…I do not know…I just want to stay with you…"
"Don't worry, Rei-chan," I replied firmly, "We'll be together. Nothing will separate us again." She simply smiled and nodded, so I continued, "We're still young, but I'm sure Misato can help us. We'll finish school together, and then we'll find a job. We'll lead a normal life, just like everybody else. There will be no wars, no Eva, no NERV, no secrets and no conspiracy, just us, just me and you…"
"And…" Rei spoke softly. She was evidently struggling to gather her strength, "And our…our friends too…"
"Yes of course, Asuka and Kaworu will be around. Hikari, Touji and Kensuke will come back as well. Those two used to tease that I would never find a girlfriend with my quiet personality, imagine their reaction when they finally see us together! We'll be having so much fun!"
By then, I had noticed that her eyelids were gradually closing. Her breaths began to fade, and her head rolled passively over to the side. I shook her gently and brought her attention back, "Rei-chan, how are you feeling?"
"I…I feel tired…and sleepy…"
"Don't fall asleep. Please stay awake for me…" My voice started to crack once more. There was something lingering at the back of my mind, something which kept telling me what was happening, but I refused to accept it. I found myself blinking rapidly to hold back the fluid in my eyes, "It's a little lonely here without you talking to me…so please stay awake…for me…"
"I will…I will try…"
"Good," I said, desperately praying for rescue to arrive while I tried to keep her conscious, "What about shopping? Do you like shopping?"
"I do not know…I bought groceries…does that…does that count?"
"Yes of course it does, but what about clothes? What about gifts and entertainment, like music, movies and sports? What about plushies? Do you like plushies, Rei-chan?" She looked slightly confused at first, but then nodded her head in reply. I added, "I'm sorry, I realise that I've never bought anything for you before…"
"It is alright…I do not mind…"
"What about this, after we leave this place, I'll take you to the shopping malls, and I'll buy you everything you want. How does that sound?"
Once again, I found her eyes closing and her head swaying lazily to the side. I gently slapped her cheeks, hoping for a reaction. It didn't happen, so I began to call her name. Still, there was no response from her. Acting on impulse, I bent forward and kissed her lips again, but this time with more vigour. I slipped my tongue in between her teeth and massaged the interior muscles of her mouth. At first, there was nothing, as I felt the warm liquid began to stream down my face onto hers.
It was a short while later that I felt a light flicker of her tongue. I withdrew immediately. Her eyes were open, but there was something missing in her gaze. "Rei-chan, are you alright?"
She shook her head slowly, "It is becoming dark, Shinji. You look blurred… I cannot see properly…"
A gloomy hollow of desperation surfaced in my heart as I heard her; it was the fear of being pushed towards the inevitable, the trepidation of watching the edge approaching and not being able to avoid it. I held on fiercely to her body, but even so I could feel her soul slipping with the passing of each second. Not knowing what I could do, I simply stared at her, feeling rueful at my inability to stop the weave of time. In the end, it was Rei who broke the trance.
"I would have loved to go shopping with you…to finish school with you…and to live a normal life together…but those are just dreams and wishes…"
"What are you talking about!"
"I am sorry…Shinji… We both know what is coming…" She answered as her hand directed towards the open wound on her abdomen, "My S2 organ has been damaged by Adam… I am afraid I cannot hold on much longer…"
It was hard to accept what she said. The scratches on my cheeks burned as I felt the tears trickled past them. I kept silent, so she continued, "It pains me to see you cry… Ever since I began to understand my feelings, I tried to distance myself from you, for I have always known that if I pursued my feelings, it would not only bring more tears to me, but to you as well…and yet in the end, I let it happen… I am truly sorry, Shinji…"
"No…I'm glad it happened. I may have changed you, but you changed me too. I just don't understand why you're telling me this…"
"There is something I want you to know… Perhaps this is happening because we are simply not destined to be… Fate only allows one chance for you to meet your right soul mate, and perhaps yours lay somewhere else, not here with me… Time will heal your wounds… I only ask to stay in your memories…not your heart…"
"You…you're telling me to let other girls in! Is that what you're trying to do! Trying to numb my feelings for you so that you can leave me in peace! I don't find this act noble, Rei-chan! I don't find it noble at all…" I shouted back in anguish; my tears dripping onto her face as I finished with a choke, "You're the only one I ever wanted…"
"This is what I am afraid of… There is a thin line between love and obsession… Fifteen years ago, there was a man who loved his wife very much… His love for her was so deep that it turned into obsession when she passed away…"
"My father… Are you referring to my father?"
"His obsession is what caused the sufferings that followed… And we are part of the tragedies, Shinji… I do not want you to make the same mistake your father did…"
The last sentence rang uncomfortably in my ears, as I stayed there stunned. My mind went white with my eyes still watering and staring at her. I couldn't tell how long we maintained this posture, for I was only awakened when a gush of blood hit across my chest. She had her eyebrows drawn closely together from the obvious agony; the red liquid flowed freely from between her stained lips as she drew a series of rapid breaths.
I felt myself trembling as I embraced her in a firm hug, "All this talk about love and obsession is nonsense! It's nonsense because you're not leaving me… You promised me! You promised you'll never leave me remember?"
I then felt the soft touch of her hand on my cheeks, as she replied, "Please do not cry… I am not afraid of dying… Do not cry… You have given me so much… Thank you…" Slowly, her hand slipped downwards. "I love you…"
There was a sudden slump, as her body fell limp and her arm rested on my thigh. She didn't speak again, and neither did I feel any movement. I took a few deep breaths. The tears were already dried; there was nothing left in my eyes. I held her close to me and stared ahead. My lips felt dry, and my limbs felt heavy. The hope to see the rescue team disappeared, and the desire was no longer there. I began to feel content at the thought of being burnt alive by the acidic steam.
"Would you like to listen to a song, Rei-chan?"
There was no reply. Humming a bedtime tune I remembered from my early childhood, I started to rock Rei back and forth gently. It wasn't a sad tune. Instead, it was quite a happy one. I didn't know how long it lasted, for time had stopped along with her. There was no longer pain, or agony, or regrets, or sadness, or anything else. I could no longer feel. The place in my heart where she used to be was now a dreadful hollow.
I couldn't remember clearly what happened next. The rescue team came eventually, but I couldn't be certain how long they took. I remembered seeing a familiar face, but I couldn't recall who he was. He kept telling me that he was here to save us, and he needed me to cooperate. They tried to take Rei away from me. I refused. There were some struggles. I remembered them forcing me to the floor; I remembered seeing them rush Rei away; I remembered shoutings; I remembered feeling a prick on my arm.
And then it was darkness.
