Blood Omen 2 - Chapter 5: Kain - Family Guy style!
Disclaimer: I don't own Family Guy, Legacy of Kain, etc. But I do own a copy of the new Harry Potter book! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Coughs*
Me: Sorry about the delay, evil school, but now school's out, FREEDOM! So I am proud to say that there will be more frequent updates, and Moebius bashing!
On with the fiction!
************************************************************** *************************
*Dramatic action music* LAST TIME ON - BLOOD OMEN 2: MY WAY
(We see Kain and Raziel on a speedboat, Kain is dressed Miami Vice style and so is Raziel, except he has his hair in an Afro. They are speeding by a dock jump out as the boat crashes and explodes.)
**Scene change**
(Vorador is holding a gun and shooting in random directions killing bad guys.)
**Scene change**
(Umah and Ariel are in a hospital room watching over Kain who is apparently in a coma.)
Ariel: Damn it! Don't you see he's never coming back!?
(Umah bitch slaps Ariel.)
**Scene change**
(We see Janos on a rooftop firing at a helicopter, he hits the little blades and it careens toward him, he jumps off the building as it is blown up.)
Janos: AHHH!
**The music builds to an intense height**
**Actual scene in fiction**
Carl: Umah's been captured!
Vorador: Oh crap! Well, looks like your gonna have to go save her.
Kain: Whoopdee doo!
**Music abruptly ends**
(We see Kain on the tram and it stops, he gets outs.)
Kain: Hey wait a second, this isn't that new Brothel I heard so much about!
(The tram had already left.)
Kain: Damn!
(He kills all the people in the room and then heads into the court yard area.)
Guard 1: So anyway, she says 'I need some space' and then she stormed out.
Guard 2: Man that sucks.
Kain: Hahahahahahaha! I know how you feel; I remember one time I had a fight with my last girlfriend.
**Random Family Guy style scene**
(We see Kain in a younger appearance, with a football jock jacket on and hair all geld up. He is talking with a human girl.)
Girl: I like, think you're a jerk and, like, you don't, you know, respect me and stuff.
Kain: Uh, ugh. *Snaps her neck and drinks her blood*
(We go back to the current scene.)
Kain: Aww, those were the good old days.
Guard 1: Hey you're a vampire aren't you?
Kain: No I'm not!
Guard 2: Yes you are!
Kain: Believe me, I'm not! I swear. You can vouch for me, right Donny?
Donny Osmond: That's right Kain, he's my best friend!
Guards 1&2: AHHHHH!
Donny: Let's sing along!
Kain: How about we don't.
Donny: Cool, it's like sharing.
(He sings that song he sung way back in Jonny Bravo, the two guards commit suicide to end their torment, and Kain is forced to murder Osmond.)
Kain: I'm glad that's over.
(He walks to the gate and is confronted by a vampire.)
Vampire: So, the rumors speak true.
Kain: Holy crap! It's Nosferatu!
Vampire: No, it's Marcus you dumbass!
Kain: Oh yeah. Marcus, buddy, pal!
Marcus: A poor choice of words, Kain. We are not buddies, nor pals.
Kain: Why are you making such a fuss? I know we left off on some bad terms.
Marcus: YOU SHAVED MY HEAD BALD AND THEN TRIED TO KILL ME!
Kain: Gee, it's not that big a deal.
Marcus: YOU TATOOED 'I LOVE MOEBIUS' ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD AND THEN TIED A BELL TO THE BACK OF MY NECK!
Kain: Hehehehehehe, yeah, sorry about that.
Marcus: You feared my flowing locks of hair, as well as my power. You knew that one day my hair would be more beautiful than yours. Is that why you begged me to fight at your side when you waged war on Nosgoth and it's hair salons?
Kain: Begged, I never begged.
Marcus: Yes you did.
**Another random scene**
(Kain is on his knees in bar while Marcus is drinking beer, he is also sulking at a picture of him when he had nice hair.)
Kain: Please?!?
Marcus: No.
Kain: Pretty please?!?
Marcus: NO.
Kain: PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease?!? Or I'll use this bell on you!
Marcus: ALL RIGHT ALREADY!
**End random scene**
Kain: Ok, maybe I did a little.
Marcus: In your stupidity, You presumed me dead. But I was stronger than you knew. I crawled from my Haven and fled into hiding.
(Kain laughs uncontrollably at this.)
Marcus: Oh shut up! When the Sarafan proved victorious. I knew my destiny lay with the Sarafan Lord. I offered my loyalty to him. I have not only become a servant to him, but I have also become the leader of the order of destroying bells.
Kain: I always knew you for sneaking and being a wussy. I will kill you, and I'll make damn sure you die for sure.
Marcus: Wrong again, jackass, once more you underestimate me. The dark gifts manifest differently in all of us, in you absence, I've learned to charm people.
Kain: So does this mean you can finally pick up women?
Marcus: No you dumbass. It means I can make people do my bidding, I once made Faustus do the macarena And even got a few humans to do riverdance. Now I'll make you into my mind puppet!
(He raises his hand and concentrates on Kain; Kain can feel the effects of impending control but shakes it off.)
Marcus: What, Impossible!
Kain: What have you been using that ability on? Drunks and idiots? Man you suck! My mind is too strong to be controlled by you.
Marcus: No matter, I was still able to read your thoughts. You seek the Bishop of Meridian? He has some info you seek?
Kain: Yes! How'd you know?
Marcus: -__-0 I will ensure that you get that information, when you find the bishop, he will be dead, well actually I will just make him into a puppet, but you know.
Kain: Uh, no you won't!
Marcus: That is what you think.
Kain: *Like a bell* Ding, Ding!
(Marcus' left eye twitches, he scream like an insane person and runs off down the alley screaming like a monkey on crack, suddenly two figures appear behind Kain at the corner where he had came from.)
Kain: OH MY GOD, IT'S. BUSH & BLAIR!
(Yes, Bush and Blair stand several feet from Kain, they are under Marcus' control and are armed with those weird cross- thingies.)
Bush: I think I'll the pentagon to bomb him.
Blair: Terrorist, BAD!
(They attack Kain; He fends them off easily and drinks their blood. He then makes his way through the sewers and then to the area where Marcus is talking with a Sarafan guard.)
Marcus: You there, yeah you, the idiot. You are to conduct me to the Bishop's manor on the instant.
Guard: We were told to lookout for a vampire, hey you are one, DIE!
Marcus: Not me you stupid moron. You know me. Kain is the one you seek.
Guard: But he's not gonna stop and tell us his name, now will he?
Marcus: *Sighs* Just attack anyone with albino hair and is carrying a sword.
Guard: Ok.
(He and Marcus depart for the manor. Kain reaches the area soon after, but ducks down as a figure in a red trench coat, white hair and a cool looking sword strapped to his back.)
Dante: *Humming* Hmm, I wonder where Trish is?
**Random scene**
(We see Trish doing a sexy dance on the counter top at the Red Raven pub; the men are cheering her on.)
Popeland: Yeah! WOOT! *Takes a swig of beer and slurs incoherent words*
Jedi-and: You go girl!
MortalSora: Shake it! (Light and Ruff Collie and Angel-Chan are sitting in the back.)
Light: -__-0 Men.
Ruff: Just no sense of decency.
Angel: You said. *Spots Raziel dressed in a cloak at the bar and drools uncontrollably.)
Light: -__-0 Yet the same can sometimes be said about us.
Ruff: -__-;; Hmm.
**End of random scene**
Dante: Oh well, I'm sure she'll turn up.
(A Sarafan guard spots him and pulls out a whistle, all of the guards attack Dante.)
Dante: Oh crap!
(He is chased off, moments later in the distance, an explosion happens and Kain sees the body parts of all the guards' rain down on him.)
Kain: Whoa, remind me never to get that guy angry.
(He drinks what little blood he can from the bodies that weren't badly damaged and then gets contacted by Vorador.)
Vorador: *Using Whisper* Kain, it is Vorador. You must reach the manor, blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda, ah the hell with it you know what to do.
(Kain heeds this pointless tip and continues on, killing random humans for no reason *A/N: He seems to like doing that a lot, doesn't he? * and then is contacted by Vorador again by that gate.)
Vorador: *Whispering* Kain, the manor is near. However, you have to pointlessly get the gate to open, get the bell to ring so the idiotic workers will think it is time for their shift to change and they open it.
Kain: *Whispering* You know, I could've thought of that myself.
(He enters the small building where the bell is and instead of doing the things to get the bell to ring, he just throws a random human at it. The people think it's the shift change and open the gate, Kain then kills and drinks the blood of them all, again, and proceeds on. Marcus, who is still ahead of Kain, arrives at the manor.)
Guard: We were told to lookout for a vampire, but apparently some dude in a red trench coat blew up all of the guys. Marcus: Well, just try and act like you doing your job.
(He leaves and Kain soon arrives after, he makes his way into the library when suddenly, he hears a loud noise coming from the door to his right.)
CRASH!
(The door falls off its hinges and a Sarafan knight lays unconscious on it.)
Kain: *Sighs* God their stupid.
(He jams his sword into the Knight's neck and drinks his blood, he then realizes that someone has been watching the poor excuse for a fight.)
Kain: What the hell do you want?
Butler: Don't kill me, I know something that may be of help to you. The Sarafan are at the Bishop's.
Kain: Where are they?
Butler: They accused him of aiding the vampire resistance and being a drunk. They want to find proof, please don't tell them where I am.
Kain: Tell me where to find the bishop.
Butler: I don't know.
Kain: Should I tell you I aid Vorador or should I just rip out your throat? I leave the decision to you.
Butler: Go to the Cathedral. He fled there to be safe and also secure his hidden stash. It lays to the northeast.
Kain: Show me how to get there, or I'll kill you.
Butler: Yes, here, through this tunnel.
Kain: Thank you.
(He leaves through the door but not before, and not scripted in the actual game, kills the man. He then proceeds further till he reaches the cathedral and finds the Bishop apparently alone.)
Kain: I assume you are the Bishop of Meridian?
(The Bishop only utters nonsensical words drunken hiccups.)
Kain: I seek a passage to the freaking Sarafan keep, I work for Vorador, and he said you'd know of where to find it. (Again the Bishop only mutters and hiccups.)
Kain: Are you that drunk?
(Marcus steps out from behind and addresses Kain.)
Marcus: He is in my control, though he was already quite drunk when I found him.
Kain: Release him and I will not kick your ass, right now that is.
Marcus: I hold the cards now, surrender or I will make him do horrible dances.
Kain: I care not for a mortal, killing you would make me one happy vampire.
(He takes a step toward Marcus.)
Marcus: Stay back, the Bishop will tell you nothing while he remains under my power and will never cease to stop dancing, and you will never catch me.
(He runs off as the Bishop starts doing the macarena and suddenly ten other humans join in, Kain backs up slowly and runs off screaming in horror and pursues Marcus. He soon is lead back to where he had seen Dante get chased off and then is lead to the rooftops where he and Marcus land on a stain glass window roof.)
Kain: I've got you now.
(Suddenly the theme of 'Stayin' Alive' plays and the glass starts to glow random colors like a disco floor. Kain and Marcus look at each other in confusion before disco dancing.)
Kain: *Doing that thing with the pointing*
Marcus: *Spins around on back and then jumps up and lands on the floor perfectly*
(Suddenly the music stops, the glass stops glowing and they hear a creaking noise as the glass starts to crack in random places.)
Kain: Oh.
Marcus: Shi -
(The glass gives way and they fall, Marcus turns invisible and Kain rings the bells a few times.) Marcus: GAH! THE BELLS! *Falls to floor and sucks thumb like a person whose lost it.
(He soon recovers and summons two humans to come out, cut the ropes to the bells and hang themselves, all this time while doing ballet.)
Kain: O.o0
(Marcus then runs around on the upper level randomly screaming stuff about bells, bad dancing and something about an invisible mutant biscuit. Kain proceeds to beat him up, killing any human who gets in his way and then finally knocks Marcus down to the alter.)
Marcus: You cannot stop me!
Kain: Oh yeah?
(He pulls out a bell and rings it, Marcus screams and then Kain shows him an electric shaver.)
Marcus: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!
(Kain laughs and then kills him off completely and then takes his dark gift, 'Charm'. The Bishop runs in, now able to talk, but still quite drunk.)
Kain: Old man, do you live?
Bishop: *Slurring* YeS I dooo, I must thank for destroying that *hic* fiends, he threatened *hic* to reveal where my stash is.
Kain: I need directions to the Sarafan keep. Vorador said you'd know where to find it. One of our associates is held captive there.
Bishop: Sure *hic* I'll help *hic* you, you nice talking marble *hic* statue.
Kain: o.o0
Bishop: I wIlL sHoW yOu thee entrancees.
(He then leads Kain to a passage to lead him to the Keep.)
************************************************************** *************************
Me: Well, how was it? Did anyone like the Family Guy style randomness? I just had the idea one-day.
Well please review and I will give you all giant machine of DOOM. Plus I'll leave Moebius tied up in giant open area.
See ya!
Disclaimer: I don't own Family Guy, Legacy of Kain, etc. But I do own a copy of the new Harry Potter book! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Coughs*
Me: Sorry about the delay, evil school, but now school's out, FREEDOM! So I am proud to say that there will be more frequent updates, and Moebius bashing!
On with the fiction!
************************************************************** *************************
*Dramatic action music* LAST TIME ON - BLOOD OMEN 2: MY WAY
(We see Kain and Raziel on a speedboat, Kain is dressed Miami Vice style and so is Raziel, except he has his hair in an Afro. They are speeding by a dock jump out as the boat crashes and explodes.)
**Scene change**
(Vorador is holding a gun and shooting in random directions killing bad guys.)
**Scene change**
(Umah and Ariel are in a hospital room watching over Kain who is apparently in a coma.)
Ariel: Damn it! Don't you see he's never coming back!?
(Umah bitch slaps Ariel.)
**Scene change**
(We see Janos on a rooftop firing at a helicopter, he hits the little blades and it careens toward him, he jumps off the building as it is blown up.)
Janos: AHHH!
**The music builds to an intense height**
**Actual scene in fiction**
Carl: Umah's been captured!
Vorador: Oh crap! Well, looks like your gonna have to go save her.
Kain: Whoopdee doo!
**Music abruptly ends**
(We see Kain on the tram and it stops, he gets outs.)
Kain: Hey wait a second, this isn't that new Brothel I heard so much about!
(The tram had already left.)
Kain: Damn!
(He kills all the people in the room and then heads into the court yard area.)
Guard 1: So anyway, she says 'I need some space' and then she stormed out.
Guard 2: Man that sucks.
Kain: Hahahahahahaha! I know how you feel; I remember one time I had a fight with my last girlfriend.
**Random Family Guy style scene**
(We see Kain in a younger appearance, with a football jock jacket on and hair all geld up. He is talking with a human girl.)
Girl: I like, think you're a jerk and, like, you don't, you know, respect me and stuff.
Kain: Uh, ugh. *Snaps her neck and drinks her blood*
(We go back to the current scene.)
Kain: Aww, those were the good old days.
Guard 1: Hey you're a vampire aren't you?
Kain: No I'm not!
Guard 2: Yes you are!
Kain: Believe me, I'm not! I swear. You can vouch for me, right Donny?
Donny Osmond: That's right Kain, he's my best friend!
Guards 1&2: AHHHHH!
Donny: Let's sing along!
Kain: How about we don't.
Donny: Cool, it's like sharing.
(He sings that song he sung way back in Jonny Bravo, the two guards commit suicide to end their torment, and Kain is forced to murder Osmond.)
Kain: I'm glad that's over.
(He walks to the gate and is confronted by a vampire.)
Vampire: So, the rumors speak true.
Kain: Holy crap! It's Nosferatu!
Vampire: No, it's Marcus you dumbass!
Kain: Oh yeah. Marcus, buddy, pal!
Marcus: A poor choice of words, Kain. We are not buddies, nor pals.
Kain: Why are you making such a fuss? I know we left off on some bad terms.
Marcus: YOU SHAVED MY HEAD BALD AND THEN TRIED TO KILL ME!
Kain: Gee, it's not that big a deal.
Marcus: YOU TATOOED 'I LOVE MOEBIUS' ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD AND THEN TIED A BELL TO THE BACK OF MY NECK!
Kain: Hehehehehehe, yeah, sorry about that.
Marcus: You feared my flowing locks of hair, as well as my power. You knew that one day my hair would be more beautiful than yours. Is that why you begged me to fight at your side when you waged war on Nosgoth and it's hair salons?
Kain: Begged, I never begged.
Marcus: Yes you did.
**Another random scene**
(Kain is on his knees in bar while Marcus is drinking beer, he is also sulking at a picture of him when he had nice hair.)
Kain: Please?!?
Marcus: No.
Kain: Pretty please?!?
Marcus: NO.
Kain: PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease?!? Or I'll use this bell on you!
Marcus: ALL RIGHT ALREADY!
**End random scene**
Kain: Ok, maybe I did a little.
Marcus: In your stupidity, You presumed me dead. But I was stronger than you knew. I crawled from my Haven and fled into hiding.
(Kain laughs uncontrollably at this.)
Marcus: Oh shut up! When the Sarafan proved victorious. I knew my destiny lay with the Sarafan Lord. I offered my loyalty to him. I have not only become a servant to him, but I have also become the leader of the order of destroying bells.
Kain: I always knew you for sneaking and being a wussy. I will kill you, and I'll make damn sure you die for sure.
Marcus: Wrong again, jackass, once more you underestimate me. The dark gifts manifest differently in all of us, in you absence, I've learned to charm people.
Kain: So does this mean you can finally pick up women?
Marcus: No you dumbass. It means I can make people do my bidding, I once made Faustus do the macarena And even got a few humans to do riverdance. Now I'll make you into my mind puppet!
(He raises his hand and concentrates on Kain; Kain can feel the effects of impending control but shakes it off.)
Marcus: What, Impossible!
Kain: What have you been using that ability on? Drunks and idiots? Man you suck! My mind is too strong to be controlled by you.
Marcus: No matter, I was still able to read your thoughts. You seek the Bishop of Meridian? He has some info you seek?
Kain: Yes! How'd you know?
Marcus: -__-0 I will ensure that you get that information, when you find the bishop, he will be dead, well actually I will just make him into a puppet, but you know.
Kain: Uh, no you won't!
Marcus: That is what you think.
Kain: *Like a bell* Ding, Ding!
(Marcus' left eye twitches, he scream like an insane person and runs off down the alley screaming like a monkey on crack, suddenly two figures appear behind Kain at the corner where he had came from.)
Kain: OH MY GOD, IT'S. BUSH & BLAIR!
(Yes, Bush and Blair stand several feet from Kain, they are under Marcus' control and are armed with those weird cross- thingies.)
Bush: I think I'll the pentagon to bomb him.
Blair: Terrorist, BAD!
(They attack Kain; He fends them off easily and drinks their blood. He then makes his way through the sewers and then to the area where Marcus is talking with a Sarafan guard.)
Marcus: You there, yeah you, the idiot. You are to conduct me to the Bishop's manor on the instant.
Guard: We were told to lookout for a vampire, hey you are one, DIE!
Marcus: Not me you stupid moron. You know me. Kain is the one you seek.
Guard: But he's not gonna stop and tell us his name, now will he?
Marcus: *Sighs* Just attack anyone with albino hair and is carrying a sword.
Guard: Ok.
(He and Marcus depart for the manor. Kain reaches the area soon after, but ducks down as a figure in a red trench coat, white hair and a cool looking sword strapped to his back.)
Dante: *Humming* Hmm, I wonder where Trish is?
**Random scene**
(We see Trish doing a sexy dance on the counter top at the Red Raven pub; the men are cheering her on.)
Popeland: Yeah! WOOT! *Takes a swig of beer and slurs incoherent words*
Jedi-and: You go girl!
MortalSora: Shake it! (Light and Ruff Collie and Angel-Chan are sitting in the back.)
Light: -__-0 Men.
Ruff: Just no sense of decency.
Angel: You said. *Spots Raziel dressed in a cloak at the bar and drools uncontrollably.)
Light: -__-0 Yet the same can sometimes be said about us.
Ruff: -__-;; Hmm.
**End of random scene**
Dante: Oh well, I'm sure she'll turn up.
(A Sarafan guard spots him and pulls out a whistle, all of the guards attack Dante.)
Dante: Oh crap!
(He is chased off, moments later in the distance, an explosion happens and Kain sees the body parts of all the guards' rain down on him.)
Kain: Whoa, remind me never to get that guy angry.
(He drinks what little blood he can from the bodies that weren't badly damaged and then gets contacted by Vorador.)
Vorador: *Using Whisper* Kain, it is Vorador. You must reach the manor, blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda, ah the hell with it you know what to do.
(Kain heeds this pointless tip and continues on, killing random humans for no reason *A/N: He seems to like doing that a lot, doesn't he? * and then is contacted by Vorador again by that gate.)
Vorador: *Whispering* Kain, the manor is near. However, you have to pointlessly get the gate to open, get the bell to ring so the idiotic workers will think it is time for their shift to change and they open it.
Kain: *Whispering* You know, I could've thought of that myself.
(He enters the small building where the bell is and instead of doing the things to get the bell to ring, he just throws a random human at it. The people think it's the shift change and open the gate, Kain then kills and drinks the blood of them all, again, and proceeds on. Marcus, who is still ahead of Kain, arrives at the manor.)
Guard: We were told to lookout for a vampire, but apparently some dude in a red trench coat blew up all of the guys. Marcus: Well, just try and act like you doing your job.
(He leaves and Kain soon arrives after, he makes his way into the library when suddenly, he hears a loud noise coming from the door to his right.)
CRASH!
(The door falls off its hinges and a Sarafan knight lays unconscious on it.)
Kain: *Sighs* God their stupid.
(He jams his sword into the Knight's neck and drinks his blood, he then realizes that someone has been watching the poor excuse for a fight.)
Kain: What the hell do you want?
Butler: Don't kill me, I know something that may be of help to you. The Sarafan are at the Bishop's.
Kain: Where are they?
Butler: They accused him of aiding the vampire resistance and being a drunk. They want to find proof, please don't tell them where I am.
Kain: Tell me where to find the bishop.
Butler: I don't know.
Kain: Should I tell you I aid Vorador or should I just rip out your throat? I leave the decision to you.
Butler: Go to the Cathedral. He fled there to be safe and also secure his hidden stash. It lays to the northeast.
Kain: Show me how to get there, or I'll kill you.
Butler: Yes, here, through this tunnel.
Kain: Thank you.
(He leaves through the door but not before, and not scripted in the actual game, kills the man. He then proceeds further till he reaches the cathedral and finds the Bishop apparently alone.)
Kain: I assume you are the Bishop of Meridian?
(The Bishop only utters nonsensical words drunken hiccups.)
Kain: I seek a passage to the freaking Sarafan keep, I work for Vorador, and he said you'd know of where to find it. (Again the Bishop only mutters and hiccups.)
Kain: Are you that drunk?
(Marcus steps out from behind and addresses Kain.)
Marcus: He is in my control, though he was already quite drunk when I found him.
Kain: Release him and I will not kick your ass, right now that is.
Marcus: I hold the cards now, surrender or I will make him do horrible dances.
Kain: I care not for a mortal, killing you would make me one happy vampire.
(He takes a step toward Marcus.)
Marcus: Stay back, the Bishop will tell you nothing while he remains under my power and will never cease to stop dancing, and you will never catch me.
(He runs off as the Bishop starts doing the macarena and suddenly ten other humans join in, Kain backs up slowly and runs off screaming in horror and pursues Marcus. He soon is lead back to where he had seen Dante get chased off and then is lead to the rooftops where he and Marcus land on a stain glass window roof.)
Kain: I've got you now.
(Suddenly the theme of 'Stayin' Alive' plays and the glass starts to glow random colors like a disco floor. Kain and Marcus look at each other in confusion before disco dancing.)
Kain: *Doing that thing with the pointing*
Marcus: *Spins around on back and then jumps up and lands on the floor perfectly*
(Suddenly the music stops, the glass stops glowing and they hear a creaking noise as the glass starts to crack in random places.)
Kain: Oh.
Marcus: Shi -
(The glass gives way and they fall, Marcus turns invisible and Kain rings the bells a few times.) Marcus: GAH! THE BELLS! *Falls to floor and sucks thumb like a person whose lost it.
(He soon recovers and summons two humans to come out, cut the ropes to the bells and hang themselves, all this time while doing ballet.)
Kain: O.o0
(Marcus then runs around on the upper level randomly screaming stuff about bells, bad dancing and something about an invisible mutant biscuit. Kain proceeds to beat him up, killing any human who gets in his way and then finally knocks Marcus down to the alter.)
Marcus: You cannot stop me!
Kain: Oh yeah?
(He pulls out a bell and rings it, Marcus screams and then Kain shows him an electric shaver.)
Marcus: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!
(Kain laughs and then kills him off completely and then takes his dark gift, 'Charm'. The Bishop runs in, now able to talk, but still quite drunk.)
Kain: Old man, do you live?
Bishop: *Slurring* YeS I dooo, I must thank for destroying that *hic* fiends, he threatened *hic* to reveal where my stash is.
Kain: I need directions to the Sarafan keep. Vorador said you'd know where to find it. One of our associates is held captive there.
Bishop: Sure *hic* I'll help *hic* you, you nice talking marble *hic* statue.
Kain: o.o0
Bishop: I wIlL sHoW yOu thee entrancees.
(He then leads Kain to a passage to lead him to the Keep.)
************************************************************** *************************
Me: Well, how was it? Did anyone like the Family Guy style randomness? I just had the idea one-day.
Well please review and I will give you all giant machine of DOOM. Plus I'll leave Moebius tied up in giant open area.
See ya!
