Post-Butterflied
Disclaimer: I still don't own CSI and get no profit from writing these stories…yadda yadda yadda.
Spoilers: This story takes directly after the episode Butterflied. In fact, if you haven't seen Butterflied, you'll probably be very confused.
Chapter Three
The next night Sara made the decision to go to work. Even if she was going to quit and move elsewhere, she would have to give two weeks notice. She had decided that she at least look into other labs before she quit and had nowhere to work at all.
"Hey Sara, good to see you back," Nick greeted her when she walked into the lab.
"Hey Nicky," Sara gave him a half-hearted smile.
"You feeling okay?" Nick asked.
"I feel better than I felt last night," Sara replied.
"That doesn't exactly answer my question," Nick said, "you look…I don't know, but you don't look good. Are you sure you feel better?"
Sara sighed, "I still do feel a little sick, I suppose."
"Maybe you should have taken another night off, I mean, you have more than enough sick days coming to you. You don't want to work too hard and make yourself more sick," Nick looked her over.
"I'll be fine, I promise," Sara waved off his concern.
"Okay, but if you do start feeling more sick, don't be afraid to tell Grissom you need to go home," Nick said seriously.
"I'm a grown woman, Nicky, I think I can handle myself," Sara told him.
"See you later, Sara," Nick continued to wherever he had been going before he ran into Sara.
Sara watched as Nick walked away from her. It was becoming harder and harder for her to consider the idea of leaving Las Vegas. It was clear that her co-workers definitely cared about her. She may not like the idea of working with Grissom anymore, but she couldn't just walk away from the rest of her friends. She turned around and was heading for the break room when she spotted Grissom coming around the corner. She quickly ducked into the locker room, not wanting to speak to him right now. She hoped that Grissom hadn't seen her and that he wouldn't be in a talkative mood tonight. Of course he still had no idea that she'd overheard him, but she was still not in the mood to be friendly with him.
Grissom had apparently not seen Sara or if he did, he didn't want to talk to her because he just continued to his office. Sara was relieved that he apparently wasn't in the mood to talk either. She sat down on the bench in front of her locker and enjoyed the silence.
"Hiding from someone?" Catherine's question caused Sara to jump.
"Sort of," Sara replied.
"Who?" Catherine inquired.
"It doesn't matter," Sara stood up, "I'm leaving."
"Sara, stay, please," Catherine caught her arm.
"Cath, I'm sorry but I'm really not in the mood for talking," Sara sighed.
"I know something has been bothering you. I sensed you were really upset the other day when you turned down my drink offer," Catherine started, "I'd like to think I'm a friend of yours and that you can talk to me."
Sara sighed, "It's too complicated."
"If it has to do with that victim looking like you, I can understand," Catherine said, "I know you said you didn't really look at her face, but you must have seen the resemblance."
"No, no it's not her," Sara said, " that was a little unnerving, but that really didn't bother me. It did a little at the time, but I'm over that."
"I know what it is," Catherine suddenly realized, "I didn't put much thought into it at the time, but now I realize what the problem is. This has to do with Grissom, I knew he must have done something to upset you because of how you said 'he does a lot of stupid things'."
Sara gave Catherine a funny look, "How is it that you know that?"
"Come on, Sara, I know you have feelings for Grissom or at least you used to. Lately it seems like you're doing everything possible to avoid him though. Then you came back from that interrogation and I had the feeling something happened between you there," Catherine told her.
"You want to know the truth?" Sara asked.
"If you want to tell me," Catherine said.
"I asked Grissom out to dinner after the lab explosion and he turned me down. Since then, things have been awkward between us," Sara told her.
"About that, I think I know why he turned you down. Grissom hasn't told this to anyone else, but he was losing his hearing. At around the time of the explosion, it was getting bad enough that he finally realized he would need corrective surgery. I'm pretty sure he turned you down because he had to go see his doctor," Catherine explained.
"I never knew that," Sara shook her head, "but when he was questioning Dr. Lurie I was in the viewing room. I don't think anyone knew I was in there. When the interrogation was a bust, Grissom started speaking to Lurie. He said how it was interesting how similar they were, a couple of middle-aged guys who had spent all their lives on their work. He said he could never take a risk like Dr. Lurie had and ask out the young girl who came along and was willing to give him a new life."
Catherine was shocked, "What did you do?"
"What could I do? I just stood there and couldn't move. When he was gone, I slipped out of the viewing room and came back here," Sara started to cry in spite of herself.
"Oh Sara, I'm so sorry," Catherine hugged her.
"So when I didn't come in last night, I wasn't sick, at least not in the way that everyone thought," Sara sighed, "I was seriously considering giving my letter of resignation. Then Brass called to check up on me and Greg came over to see me after shift. I realized I couldn't just walk away from here. You guys are like my family."
"I'm glad you don't want to leave Sara, I know you and I have had our differences before, but you are a good friend. I'd hate for you to leave because of Grissom," Catherine said, "I don't understand him sometimes. I know he's crazy about you, but he won't admit it to himself I guess."
"It's okay though, he's never admitted to me that he had feelings before. And while he didn't technically say it to me, I am glad to know the way he really feels. I am tired of this dance I have been doing with Grissom and now I feel free to move on," Sara explained.
Catherine stated, "He has just never been a very openly emotional person. I've known him for a really long time and I still don't know much about his life. I hated that he was always pushing you away. I wanted to force him to go out with you, but there's no talking sense into him when it comes to love."
"It's okay. I feel like I got some sort of closure and I'm going to be able to move on and maybe try dating outside work," Sara said.
"Well good luck with it," Catherine sighed as Sara left. She knew that Sara's words were probably not true. She was understandably upset with Grissom, and there had been some anger in her words, but she knew that Sara loved Grissom. It was much easier said than done when it came to forgetting about him. She wished there was some way for her to make Grissom see what he was doing to Sara. He was driving everyone crazy in the way he avoided her. Everyone in the lab saw that there was clearly something in the way those two looked at each other when they thought no one else was looking.
---------------------------------------
Grissom had seen Sara slip into the locker room earlier and he had been glad she didn't appear to see him. He was still not sure what to say to her. Brass' words had given him a lot to think about. He had been secretly relieved when Sara had called in to work the previous night. Not that he was happy that Sara was sick, he was just glad he didn't have to think of ways to avoid her for the night. He knew that realistically, he was going to have to come to a decision and then speak to her like an adult. It was pretty childish to just continue to ignore that there was something was between them. He hadn't made it easy for Sara, turning down her dinner invitation and pretty much avoiding being alone with her. He hated hurting her and he did it frequently. Sara was always looking too much into his words and actions and he just continued to play dumb. He saw what he was doing, but he couldn't change his ways.
When it came time to hand out assignments, he headed for the break room. His entire shift was waiting for him and Greg was just on his way out of the break room to return to his lab.
"Good evening guys," Grissom said, "I have your assignments for tonight. Warrick and Sara, you two have a DB at the Sphere, Brass will meet you there. Catherine you have a missing person in Henderson. Nick, you and I are on a convenience store robbery."
The CSIs split up and headed off to their respective vehicles, talking and happy as usual. Except for Sara, she seemed to be a little quiet. Grissom attributed it to her still being sick. She was pushing herself too hard as usual, showing up to work when she should still be at home in bed. He found himself thinking about her once again and nearly didn't see Nick pause in front of him.
"You okay, Gris?" Nick asked.
"Hmm. Oh yeah. I was just thinking about something else. You driving or am I?" Grissom asked quickly changing the subject.
"I don't care, it's up to you," Nick said.
"Okay, I'll drive then," Grissom replied, thinking that it would give him something to do and keep his mind of Sara at least temporarily.
A/N: Well the writers of CSI know how to make me mad. I can't believe that Sara and Grissom were only on the show for a minute or two! Especially after what she said to him…they better be on the next episode, lol…now I'm threatening people…anyway, don't expect another chapter for a couple days. I'm moving back in at school and classes start Tuesday so I'll be busy.
