Disclaimer: Me own Harry Potter? Never! I'm just the genius that wrote this.
Hi Everyone! This is my first Harry Potter fanfic…and is only a tester to see how I go. Be warned that the story may be deleted if I am not happy with how it is going …
Anyway, I have to warn you that I have a very strange, weird and warped sense of humour, and my jokes may not be that funny…please laugh anyway...it would be much appreciated.
Also, I am currently still attending school, and may not be able to update very quickly as I may be tied up doing assignments, studying and so on…so please be patient for updates.
Please review, as I love to hear feedback. If you wish to say any nasties, I do not mind, as long as they help in improving my story.
One thing I really want to say is…the days are still young, and if anybody has any suggestions on ways which I can make it more humorous, you are welcome to say so.
Well…that's all I have to say at the moment.….enjoy the story.
Note: THIS IS TOTALLY AU! So don't complain when you see that the characters …and other aspects in the story are a bit different from the ones in the real Harry Potter.
- Prologue -
Hogwarts just turned interesting.
After defeating Lord Voldermort, in a battle commonly known as "the battle for the title of the worlds Greatest Magician" Harry Potter became a superstar, making headlines in all the newspapers and Magazines of the Wizard World. People remembered it as a great battle, a show of talent as both Harry and Voldermort completed stunt after stunt. Harry was by far the best magician, beating Voldermort's act of escaping from a straight jacket in a pool infested with 100 starving sharks (and surviving), with pulling a stuffed bunny out of a hat. The crowd had gasped as Harry successfully pulled Fluffy out of his hat, showing off to everyone of his amazing skill. Nobody would have imagined at that time, that only 2 years later, he would be living in the situation that he was in…
….It had all began during the year after Harry Potter defeated Voldermort and left Hogwarts. Dumbledore had turned 800, an unnatural age, even for a powerful wizard. Everyone's suspicion that he was secretly eating his pet phoenix (Fawks) manure (which was rumoured to have the ability to make a person immortal) was confirmed. Age had taken a big toll on the old timer: all his brain cells used for thinking, logic and speech had finally deceased, after being overworked when the ancient Headmaster attempted to read the sign on his desk stating "Dumbledore, Headmaster." The poor fellow was now an absolute lunatic, resulting in events which turned Hogwarts into a very….. interesting if not dangerous, school.
Examples of these events include: Dumbledore performing Swan Lake in a tutu infront of the whole school, resulting in the mental-scarring and fainting of many students, and staff; Dumbledore going on a midnight swim in the lake, accidentally killing the poor Kraken after letting the baked beans he had for dinner loose (the Krakens corpse still remains in the lake, as Dumbledore still thinks its alive and forbids is removal); he also led a group of third year students on an excursion, saying they were going on a butterfly hunt in the Forbidden Forrest - the few students that returned claimed that he had tried to capture a giant spider, a centaur and a tree.
By the start of the next year, the situation had developed into an uncontrollable and completely eccentric state. Students fought hard to keep their sanity and their lives every day, but one particular student, Potter Harry, a first year at Hogwarts, seemed to attract the most misfortune. Over the past few weeks, Potter Harry had become a celebrity, everybody hailing him as 'the one who lived" making Harry Potter a thing of the past.
