Disclaimer: There are a lot of things I don't own…a car, a house, sanity….and Harry Potter

This chapter is very strange, and a little boring…it's just outlining some background information needed to be explained…. Just reminding… this is AU

Anyway, hope its not too bad…PLEASE REVIEW!

NB: This is set at the beginning of the 2nd year after Harry defeated Voldermort (ie...at the end of the year Dumbledore turned 800)

- Chapter 1 -

Harry Potter's fate.

Harry Potter stared in a newspaper article with the picture of Potter Harry smiling weakly from a hospital bed.

Who would have known? That this boy (and that thief that stole all your money) has led you into this situation? A voice in parceltounge said from behind him.

Harry turned, to find Hssss XII, a talking rubber snake, sliding towards him. He smiled and nodded his head eagerly agreeing with the snake's comment.

Over the past year, Harry had turned from a superstar, to a wild animal-like human. It all began about a month ago, when all Harry's money had suddenly disappeared from his Gringotts account. By this stage, Potter Harry had become the new face of the newspaper, leaving Harry had no form of income – long gone were the days where he was paid by the newspapers and magazines to tell the tale of Voldermort's defeat; model the latest 'fluffy fairy wand' by My Little Pixie, or endorse things such as female sanitary products.

Harry then moved out of the Wesley's house, as Ron's brother Charlie, the dragon trainer, was forced to return home after he was discovered partying with dragons which had Happyflame in their system (Happyflame is a plant which makes dragons unbelievably happy, and also gives them no control over their fiery breath or their actions. Due to the tendency for causing high damage, it was illegal to feed the dragons this plant). Harry did not want to cause any issues with the older Wesley's accommodation, and offered to move out so that he could have Harry's room.

Because of his lack of funds (and friends willing to allow him in their home), Harry was forced to live on the tallest branch of the tallest tree in the Forbidden Forrest. The influence of the Forrest for over a month had made him look like a creature, which barely resembled a human. The Forrest magic had also prevented every part of his mind, except for the very primitive section, to function, leaving him mentally similar to a Forest dweller. The only means of recognising him was the lightning shaped mark on his forehead, drawn with a permanent marker by the evil "He-Who-Nobody-Remembers-His-Name" (throughout his years in Hogwarts, Harry had complained about the mark being painful… it was suspected that this was due to his connection with Voldermort, but it turned out that the pain was due to the toxin the ink).

Harry had survived for the past moth by eating the scraps offered by the Hogwarts students, who thought he was a defenceless creature from the Forrest (which was not quite wrong). He had been given the name Smeargul by the First Formers, and was treated like a school pet.

The rubber snake, Hssss XII had appeared out of nowhere when Harry first moved into the Forbidden Forest. It was Harry's only companion over the past month, and had kept him from going insane due to loneliness and lack of people to talk to (He could still say basic things in parcel mouth and English, but could not read).

Harry was still starring blankly at the newspaper article (he had stolen it off one of the students), which had the headline; "Potter Harry survives a 1km fall off his broom, after Dumbledore appears infront of him in a Gorilla suit."

The snake look at Harry, wanting to stop him from staring at the article. Why don't you get something to eat while I look for a job for you in the paper? it suggested. Harry nodded.

"Thank… Hssss XII."

Don't worry about it.

With that, Harry crawled off towards Hogwarts.