Disclaimer: I know, I know…it's hard to believe that I did not actually write the original Harry Potter (apparently, someone called J.K Rowling wrote it) and thus I do not own it. BUT don't worry! I can safely say that this (which is by far better than the original anyway) is 100 percent written by me…with a little inspiration from my friends.

So far, not many people have been reviewing…. : ( Please do so….even nasties would be much appreciated.

I also want to say thank you to my two reviewers, it really means a lot to me.

Fluffysun, thank you for that….I have modified the story, hopefully it is less confusing now.

Snappytom, Thanks…I am glad that you enjoy the story: )

Anyway, here's chapter 2

- hope you enjoy

Note: the things which are bolded and in italics are lyrics from the song.

-Ch 2-

The journey into Hogwarts and an unexpected meeting

The Forbidden Forest was peaceful and quiet. The sky, as always, was pitch black. The parrots were screeching in the distance, two centaurs were mauling each other for a morsel of grass… in a lush green paddock, a unicorn laid dying peacefully under the protection of a dark, looming tree…

The Animal Song, by Savage Garden suddenly blared through the woods -startling all of the forest creatures. Coloured spotlights (from "whoever wizards worship"- knows-where) suddenly flooded the Forest, and Harry Potter began his journey towards Hogwarts.

(Drums) When superstars and cannon balls are running through your head -

Harry Potter started climbing down from his branch, still wondering how Potter Harry's fame had caused his downfall. After going down a few metres, he allowed himself to fall, grabbing hold of a solitary branch with his two feet with the dexterity of a wild spider monkey.

A television freakshow cops and robbers everywhere

Harry swung up, and grabbed the branch with his hands. For a minute, he hung there, using one arm to scratch his side, the mirror image of a baboon. He then returned the arm to the branch and proceeded to swing himself from tree to tree on the Forest canopy.

Subway makes me nervous people pushing me too far…

Still swinging among the branches, Harry took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to rid himself of his depressing thoughts…

I've got to break away, so take my hand now…

Harry stoped at a short, gnarled tree and jumped off its lowest branch, letting out a wild cry of glee as he fell.

'cause I want to live (like animals)

Harry went on all fours and started scrambling joyfully among the trees; tongue flapping in the breeze; a delicate string of drool clinging to his bottom lip and a dark cloud of flies tracing his dirty, matted hair. The animals from the Forest (put in the mood by the song, and the lights), one by one joined in his prancing.

Careless and free (like animals)

A big crowd of many different animals of now surrounded Harry. In slow motion, he suddenly leapt into the air letting out a wild howl, his past worries now completely forgotten… (Speed goes back to normal when he lands). Harry resumed his run, leading the pack towards Hogwarts.

I want to live. I want to run through the jungle, the wind in my hair and the sand at my feeet.

Harry stopped for a few seconds and rubbed against a tree, marking his territory (and giving his itchy back a scratch). He once again resumed his gay prancing… head tilted back, arms trailing behind him and mouth open -letting his tongue lag at the side.

A sudden loud gunshot from a nearby bush cracked through the air like thunder… bringing the flashing Mardi Gra lights and the music to a complete halt. The animals stopped, confused. Harry felt a pain his shoulder, and looked there to find a dart. He suddenly felt very groggy, and attempted vainly to stay awake…. His struggles only making him appear like he was having a heap of spasms. Finally, Harry fell asleep with a final jerking of the head

…and Servus Snape appeared from the bush where the shot had sounded from, with a tranquilizer gun slung across his shoulder. His face was twisted in a sneer of triumph.

"FINALLY! After a week of tracking…I have found you Smeargul… or should I say, HARRY POTTER!" he cried out… a happy, slightly loony, half mocking-but-nonetheless-satanic, laugh. The creatures, who had been watching the whole episode with interest, gasped. Snape turned around; looking at them with an evil twinkle in his eyes (he had recently bought fluoro-pink contacts, disco style).

"Didn't you know that this creature is actually the Greatest Magician in the world?" Snape sneered. There was a series of hushed whispers, while Snape stuffed Harry in an old doona cover, and began stealthily sneaking in the shadows towards Hogwarts –hoping that nobody would notice him in his vibrant yellow track suit and lime green beanie.

Sometime later-

The toxins in his mark were playing up again, the sharp pain causing Harry to wake up. He gazed around, the cold, stone floor, green banners, and emblems with snakes on it, sparked no recognition in his brain, and only brought confusion. A hand suddenly pushed a rainbow coloured substance (which was bubbling, sizzling and smoking all at once) under his nose.

"Drink" a familiar voice instructed.

Harry grabbed the cup, accidentally spilling a drop of the potion on the stone floor. He watched as the drop suddenly gave out angry electric blue sparks, hissing and fizzing as it dissolved a small area in the ancient stone floor. Momentarily dazed as he stared at the hole. Harry suddenly shrugged and drank the potion. His eyes began to flash with rainbow lights, steam poured from his ears, and flames escaped from his mouth and nose. He suddenly began seeing little green Lepracorns, dancing around the room, whilst throwing flowers and stray cats while singing "sunshine lolly pops and rainbow gummy drops…."

The figures slowly disappeared, leaving Harry humming the catchy tune, bobbing his head from side to side. He suddenly realised with a shock, that he was somehow …different. The potion had turned his brain from the one belonging to the creature Smeargul (who only had a primitive brain function level), back into Harry Potter, the defeater of Voldermort, Son of Lilly and James Potter, and ex-Hogwarts student (which was not a dramatic change really…. Only about a 0.5 IQ increase, and memory gain). Looking around again, he realised with a gasp that he was in the Slithering dungeons. He then noticed the person infront of him for the first time. Harry immediately forgot where he was and gave out a terrified scream similar that of a 5-year-old girl.

"This is about that Friday night, isn't it? I wasn't wearing your underwear… I swear! T-They were my…sisters' undies! Yeah… that's right…they were my sisters undies" Harry stammered, cowering in a corner, "Please don't kill me Aunt Petunia!"

Still wearing fluoro pink contacts, a yellow track suit and lime green beanie, Harry's old potions teacher was barely recognisable. The man gave a sneer.

"I am Snape you idiot! You are at Hogwarts…how can I be your muggle Aunt?"

Harry stoped pleading as Snapes words registered. He then grew very suspicious, "Snape!...I DON'T BELIVE YOU! Snape doesn't have red eyes, and has a bad taste in fashion…unlike you. Nah! You can't be Snape (although that hair coming out of the beanie does look a bit like his)…"

"They're fluoro pink contacts, and 10000 points off your house for insulting me on my previous sense of fashion."

Harry grasped and grew wide eyed, "It is you….what happened?"

Snape gave Harry one of his death looks, but could not stop the haunted fear and anxiety (and bright pink lights) from flashing in his eyes. He took a deep breath, and, attempting to make the topic sound dull and unimportant, explained, "Dumbledore has…changed over these past few years. He- he has developed an…attraction towards me….and I have been attempting to steer his interests away from me, through changing my appearance. (I'm beginning to like this new look actually…)"

Harry blinked. "Wha-"

The metal gates suddenly burst open, interrupting Harry. At the doorway stood Dumbledore dressed in a banana suit. He rushed towards Snape, gabbling like a baby.

"You hair…me like," the troubled one said earnestly. Snape's eyes suddenly grew, wild with terror and he desperately attempted to stay away from the Headmaster. Snape slowly backed up against the Dungeon walls…as Dumbeldore closed in. In a matter of seconds, Dumbeldore was on his knees, producing a baby dummy.

"Marry Dumydore, please?" Dumbledore asked, putting the dummy on Snapes finger.

Snape screamed.

His eyes began twitching uncontrollably. Dumbledore gazed at Snape's horrified face, beamed, then left the dungeon, crying out "Dumby marry Snake! Dumby marry Snake!"

Harry Potter had watched with his mouth wide open, fascinated and thoroughly disturbed. His eyes followed Snape as the potions teacher frantically exploded the dummy, and sterilised his hand with the most powerful cleaning spell he knew. He then ran out, heading towards his potions room, arriving a few minutes later carrying a goblet filled with a cloudy blue liquid. With shaking hands, the Head of Slithering drank the potion.

There was a loud explosion, and Harry was momently blinded by a bright white light. When his eyes finally recovered, Harry immediately screamed for the second time that day. Standing infront of him, was Snape….

….with bright orange, green and blue electric hair… his eyes flashing 56 different colours every 5 seconds.

"N-now..." Snape said shakily, "knowing your brain, you are probably have not come about to wondering why I kidnapped you….but, it is vital that I tell you now,"

Harry gasped, "You kidnapped me?" –staring at Snape's colourful eyes with fascination.

Snape sighed, "Yes Harry," he said patiently, rubbing his forehead. Then went on to explaining the reason, his eyes still flashing wildly.

"As you can see…the situation and Hogwarts has gone out of hand…. Dumbledore's lack of brain cells has driven me and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix, into developing a plan to send Dumbledore away, to….Azka….a nice nursing home called Azkaban." Snape continued, failing to mention that Dumbledore had given the Order of the Phoenix a new name "Happy Fairy People"

"The thing is, our plan needs you for… legal matters in case our intensions get discovered. There are many people who will be against Dumbledore being sent away to a jai…I mean Dumbledore losing his title of Headmaster, and being forced to go to a nursing home. That's why we need you; the loved, famous and admirable Harry Potter to convince the public, if need be that sending Dumbledore is the right decision. With the public on our side, the ministry will not be able to stop us. "

Harry let out a huff, "Why don't you ask that Potter Harry? He's more loved and famous than me."

Snape gave off a crackled, insane laugh –the different colours flashing in his eyes making the dark dungeon seem like a disco; "Potter Harry? He's too afraid to even mention Dumbledore's name… thinks he will get killed if he does. Anyway, people would trust you more, since you are much older than he is, and are the one that defeated everyone-know-who."

"Who?"

Snape rubbed his eyes and sighed "Potter, that potion was supposed to activate the part of your brain which the Forest magic had shut down. It seems that it has not worked. Do you want me to get you another one?" He growled.

"Yes please! I like green Lepracorns." Harry said eagerly. Snape clenched his hand, resisting the temptation to turn Harry into Humphrey bear. He had forgotten that threats had never worked on the boy.

"I did not spend a whole week tracking you down, to give you an overdose of that potion, which will kill you, Potter. The plan is ready to commence. All we need is you. Are you willing to do your part?"

Harry, who was still engrossed in his own fantasy world, where he was dancing and singing with the Lepracorns, nodded eagerly. Snape gave Harry a hard stare.

"Very well Potter. I shall inform the others," Snape said, "You better go and find a student to feed you now."