Disclaimer: Most of the characters do not belong to me. The story does! I don't want it to be copied, reposted or rewritten in any form. Thanks!

Note: I will finish it as soon as possible. Had just no more time yesterday. And I'm almost disavowing the existence of DMC2 for it was not a really good story and there was for fucking hell no Vergil in it!

Note 2: I'm female, I like Vergil more than Dante and you will notice that!

Note 3: I decide to do this in two chapters now, toget at least a bit clarity in.


"Hello fans and welcome to another part of -Covert special interviews- brief -CSI- I'm your foreign host Semiramis. Today depending on current events we got a special guest from Devil May Cry 3 cast!"

Various girls shouting: "DANTE! DANTE! WE LOVE DANTE!" are drown out by some boys shouting "DANTE! WE WANT TO SEE YOUR LOOONG SWORD, YOU BITCHY DEVIL!"

Me clearing my throat and shouting back. "NO IT'S NOT DANTE! CALM DOWN!"

Several leave the studio giving me the finger, what we're not showing to the camera. 80 of my audience is missing...

"As I said... a special guest that is not Dante..., but his look should please the rest that hasn't left yet. Because... He is his twin brother! Yes the introvert, intelligent, inaccessible identity... Vergil! "

My assistant runs to me whispering something into my ear. "What? Erm... yes... no... Of course they can... we got enough room now..."

"I just got the message that some people from –VIVP- are coming to see us, now they found out who our guest is... So we take a commercial break till they're here..."

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"Were back folks! And as you all know, Vergil hates publicity so first he did not even wanted to talk to us." Shouting at my assistant I ad "PROBABLY CAUSE SOMEONE CALLED HIM AT 5 IN THE MORNING!"

I calm my self down and continue. "We managed to get an interview with him, but he still doesn't want to partake in person..." Mostly some heavy make upped chicks from the -VIVP- groan in agony.

"No fear ladies we persuaded him to change from phone to web camera. Let's hope he got no cheap one!" I really hope it for the quota...

"Erm... Semi... we got a problem!" Raising an eyebrow I ask, what I should not. "What problem?"

"Erm... we can't get a connection yet... Win XP you know..." A little vein pops out on my forehead.

"Oh---Kay---... Then probably we chat a bit with the audience, who want' s to chat with me?" All hands down... Sweat drops on my upper lip... BASTARDS!

"Not everyone at once, please... ok you!" A girl pointing at herself and asking back" Who me? Na! Not me!"

I grab her and drag her onto the stage, push her into the armchair and start interviewing.

"So what's your name? Susy ok and why did you want to see my show?"

She's gliding round on the chair, making me nervous. "Cause Vergy-baby will be in it!"

"I see... so you're from the –VIVP-? Is that a Vergil fan club?" She giggles as if she knew something I didn't.

"Na we call us the -Vergil In Various Pairings-. We write fan fics about Vergil giving other characters, DMC and cross over, a good fu...dge..."

"Fudge?... Oh you can say the word we're x-rated!" So she says the word. I shouldn't have told her that. Because... I could guess the details but she's too fast and tells it to the audience.

So we hear some very... juicily, stained... details about her favourite pairings including

Vergil-Mundus, well it was obvious that the poor boy was raped!

Vergil-Arkham, ...well we guessed that, too.

Vergil- a Teletubbie called Dipsy, ... what's a dip thy! Oops I misheard...

Vergil- the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team (including Mr. Harry Potter). I'm just shaking in disgust at this thought,

Vergil- various animals (although with some of them I thought it to be anatomically impossible)

Vergil- various groceries... at least the yoghurt would explain his nice skin...

Vergil- Luciano Pavarotti. Ok here it is getting even to heavy for me. So I'm relieved that my assistant comes...

"Semi... we got a connection!" So we turn round to the big screen and we see... black.

"YOU SAID WE GOT A CONNECTION!"

He bows and nearly cries. "We got... we got it must be a problem at his side..." My ears twitch and I tell the murmuring audience to shut up.

"Well folks... we seem to have sound at least, so fuck off and we start!" I'm a bit worried about the blokes from –VIVP- getting several boxes of hankies out but I ignore it...

"Erm... Mr. Vergil? Can you hear me?" No answer... just some sort of typing and than a familiar voice appearing in the background...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the horniest guy of all?" ... we're all slightly confused...

A head looks through the studio door, it belongs to one of the idiots that left before the break.

"We heard Dante, when we were at Starbucks, can we come in?" SB? That' s nearly half a mile... how could they...? Oh screw it...

"Yes but be quiet, we just got sound." I try it again but no one answers. Than I'm just whispering comments at the audience while we turn up the volume.

"Possible that you're a tiny bit narcissistic, bro?" Oh ladies that's Vergil. Why is he with Dante?

"Hey fuck of! You're in my house, it's my interview so you do what I say!" Vergil's at the -Devil Never Cry-?

"You egomaniac once in your life it's NOT you're damn interview! It's mine... so could you please leave the room!" Uhh Vergil's getting angry... beside... sexy voice, that Vergil!

Some of the guys from –VIVP- look at me. I nod... "Yes I prefer Vergil over Dante, now shut up!"

"I wont let you alone with my computer! You'll download some porn!" What? What? What? Vergil... porn... Vergil!

"That's... none of my concern! I'm not like Trish you know!" Some girls shout "OH MY GOD! HE'S IMPOTENT! NO MAN OF HIS BEAUTY IS CARING A SHIT ABOUT PORN! I tell them to quiet and ask them if they would tell their brothers about their sexual preferences... they got the point and calm.

"Trish? Trish's downloading porn? Who told you that stuff?" Oh yes... who told him that... beside... Trish? Well we knew she's a slag. Some of the Dante fans agree with me.

"Well you got your web cam online all the day. I sometimes visit your homepage to see what my 'lil brother's doing... So I saw her... and the facts are undeniable..." So Vergil's watching Trish, who is watching porn? What a weird family, if we count that she looks like his mother...

"Wait... you say it's online every day... even..." We actually HEAR Dante gulp... oh what's coming now? "...Even... on Thursday evenings?" We don't hear something, but it seems that Vergil nodded, because Dante is speaking...

"But on Thursdays... I'm...!" Boy what are you... on Thursdays? The Audience wants to know! Uh that'll raise the quota! Fuck you Jerry Springer and Co.! I'm the queen of talk!

"I know what you're doing on Thursdays... What do you think why I laid a towel over the chair before I sat down? You're disgusting Dante... Now FIX THAT DAMN PC!" Oh is he doing what we think he is doing on Thursdays? Well that'll stay one of life's great mysteries.

"Hey, Verge...Sound connection's already working I just forgot to turn up the volume...oops..." Ladies and gentleman, I think we soon will have a video connection, too. You're allowed to freak out.

"What do you want to say with...-OOPS- !" Oh-Oh... Do they find out we eavesdropped...

"I wanna say... the mic already worked, too..." Wuahahaha yes it did Dante, it did... Uh how we wish to see the expression on Vergil's face now...

"I KILL YOU!" We hear some furnish breaking than the sound connection brakes down, too.

"Well audience... erm... we try to mend that... meanwhile you can go to the lavatory... Especially you blokes! And Wash your hands you pigs! Don't think I haven't seen you mastur... What? We're still transmitting! CUT CUT CUT!

10 minutes commercial... That'll ruin the quota...sobs

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---(No one will kick your ass when you got none. For details ask your local beauty surgery)---

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"Ok everyone's here again? Fine!" I turn to the screen that still is black. "Erm... Mr. Vergil?"

The screen flickers and Dante's face pops in so close to the camera we can see the hairs in his nose...

"I think it works now, Vergil. Oh hy... you must be that Semiramis. I think we should start in my childhood... I've always been an intelligent, handsome little..." Vergil tries to kick him out of the vision, but Dante is ignoring him, continuing his autobiography.

"Erm... sorry Mister Dante but actually... This is an interview with your brother..." I have to repeat because Dante is not listening... Then he stunned stares into the camera.

"Vergil? Why? Oh I see you're kidding! I'm the principal of the series! He's just, well, props..." He finally is kicked out of vision by Vergil, who carefully sits down on the chair. (We remember the Thursday thing and consider asking... not yet...) He turns his head to Dante.

"Probably because they'd like a level in their transmission, you can't reach, hillbilly!" He turns round to us and I have to fight down a heavy laugh... high level... after this discussion about porn? I don't think so!

"Hello. I have to excuse my brother, he is always embarrassing me. As apology I will answer some more questions than I planned. Is this acceptable for you?" Someone gave me a little button to turn off my mic, I do so and address to the audience.

"Hey he's much nicer than in the game... isn't he?" Some are slightly disappointed they like his demonic, vicious side.

"Yes, of course, Mr. Vergil... Ok. The first question is from me. Probably the audience is interested, too. Why are you at your brother's house?" He's already opening his mouth, when Dante is shouting from the background.

"CAUSE HE'S TOO CLUMSY TO GET A CONNECTION FROM HIS OWN PC!" Vergil is throwing somewhat into the direction of his brother. We hear an "OW!" And Vergil leans back with arms folded in front of his chest.

"Actually this is rubbish. Sorry, but I don't want my privacy to become public. That contains my home, too. You wont see even one pixel of it. So I have to use my brother's." We're disenchanted but happy to talk to Vergil at least.

Girl from the audience shouting: "Did you have a liaison with Trish when you worked for DMC1?"

He sighs: "I knew this would come... No, I hadn't. She's not my type." He waits for the next question, would someone please?

A huge guy with extremely female eyelashes: "What's your type, then. Vergy-honey?"

He raises an eyebrow, some other girls and me nearly faint because of the oomph! He wants to answer but is disturbed by Dante who pressed himself into vision.

"Bold men with odd eyes and large men with stony skin!" The eyelash guy is delighted; he twinkles at Vergil, who kicks his brother to where no sun is shining.

"You! Don't call me that again! No I wont tell you my type! Just that much... my type's female!" He seems to be slightly nervous... strange?

The eyelash guy shouting again: "WHY CAN'T WE CALL YOU VERGY-HONEY, SWEETHEART-VERGY-KITTY?"

Vergil nearly crashes from his chair in shock. "THAT NEITHER! This interview is finished!"

I, completely mental shattered, am begging him not to quit. And try to get rid of that bloke. "SECURITY! SECURITY! NO ONE IS ANNOYING MY GUEST IN MY SHOW; APART FROM ME!"

commercial break

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( Demons all around you and you want someone to kick their asses? Call 800-Devil Never Cry! It'll be one hell of a party!)

o

"Ok. But anymore guys like that one and I...Oh it seems you're on transmission again." I turn round from the big screen on which Vergil's face glares at me in a mixture of compassion and annoyance.

"Oops... right... Well we're back and as you see Vergil's still online so PLEASE! don't fucking anger him again!" My very clever audience is understanding the situation and calms down a bit.

Girl in grey dress shouting: "Vergil, I heard from someone, that you and Arkham... well... that you two were a couple...?" I slap my hand towards my forehead and groan in mental pain. But he just laughs... maybe I'm saved.

"Was that SOMEONE... Dante? Because I heard that a lot times, too. He's running 'round with that rumour!" He turns his head slightly aside to look what his brother is planning right now. Than answers.

"Again, no! We were good colleagues at the work for the game, but when he received the script about the development of his character, he... well lets just say there had been some unsolvable discrepancies. You know the game."

I get my the third bottle of water, for I'm a nervous wreck. Just one wrong word... but he seemed calmed. A tiny girl with short dark hair, white blouse and hot pants or somewhat is standing up. She reminds me of a person... a cosplayer?

"Vergil is it true that you took Mary's aka. Lady's virginity!" Now I know on who she remembers me... He sighs and skims his hair back.

"What? Is that the only subject you got in mind? My sexual penchants! Can't you ask some normal questions? For example how it was to fight with my father's sword or how bad the fee was for nearly letting myself being killed once again!" At this point I really have to interfere.

"Actually Mr. Vergil... these ARE the normal questions in a fan interview. Gladly you're not a woman or they would have asked you about your favourite positions of the Kamasutra..." I'm not happy that he looks at me in this 'You're all scum!' way now...

"Yeah! I wanna know that, bro!" Dante's leaning against a wall in the background and looking really honest.

"You recovered? I should have beaten you harder!" Dante strangely enough stays in the background and is not giving a quick-witted reply. We should worry about Vergil, I think...

I really have to ask him a serious question, or this show will be cancelled. "Erm... At the end of DMC3 we see you running at Mundus for fighting against this bastard... but as we know from DMC1 you will loose that fight, so... How can you arrange the script with your pride?"

He seems to be pleased that finally someone took this serious. "We had a lot debates about this. They made different plots about loosing the fight or just serving Mundus because he blackmailed me to kill Dante. And they had this strange idea that in this plot deep in my black heart was still some love for my brother... These were their words! Another thing was that, I in the fight, was shortly distracted by a vision of my mother. Turning out to be Trish actually. What gave Mundus the time to smack my head so I would loose my memory and he would tell that I always had been Nelo Angelo..."

He's talking about more plots but we finally want to now the one and only. "So what will be happening? Tell us please!" He bows nearer to the camera and whispers in a dark voice, scaring the light out of us.

"You REALLY do want to hear what will occur?" We just nod with mouths open, the tension is at the highest point.

"Dunno!" We all crash on the floor, how could he do that to us? Well, he's Vergil but that's not his kind of humour...

"I'm sorry for you! But they are not telling it to us until the work for the next part starts. Sometimes they just tell us what happens, five minutes before we have to play it. Right Dante?" Oh he's talking to his brother? Of course we make out they already know the story, of course, but don't want to tell us.

"Yeah, guess they don't want spoilers in the web." Suddenly the door of the room we look in flips open and a blonde enters. Hey we know her! But she's wearing an apron and carries a metal sheet...

"Dante, I baked some cookies for you and... What's this jerk doing here!" We just see Dante and Vergil's back. Dante tries to get Trish out of the room.

"Baked cookies? Did I miss something Dante?" Vergil's slightly confused, while his brother still can't shove Trish out. The look on her face turns from surprise to anger and than she starts to cry.

"You don't love me anymore!" Oh she's sobbing.

"Sure I love you Trish, we're just busy!" Obviously he don't want this to get public, or he wouldn't blush.

"I knew it, there is something between you and him! That's why you want me to get out!" She points at Vergil in disgust and blubbers on.

"No, no, Trish we're just brothers! And Vergil's got an interview to do!" He is despairing and still can't manage to calm her.

"Kiss my fucking ass! An interview in this small room! You're doing your perverted games and you even record it on video!" She turns to anger again and throws down the metal sheet.

"Erm... shall I leave?" Whole audience and me is shouting NOOOOOOO! at Vergil. This is much better than any daily soap!

Apparently the whole thing is a bit embarrassing for Vergil, so he condescends to something we would not expect him to. He tries to arbitrate.

"Listen Trish. Dante really loves you! The interview is real, just look at the screen. And we are surely not doing some kind of incest, here." He's saying this with such a calming, angelic voice she just has to believe him.

She rubs her eyes and still glum looks at him. "Ok... I trust Dante... but not you! I stay here!" Dante and Vergil sigh simultaneous just like real twins. The devil's son with the shoulder long hair takes place next to his brother.

Dante is excusing for Trish but only quiet for her not to hear it. "Sorry people, it's that special time of the month..." Vergil clicks his tongue.

"If you think this is hard, calculate how much months it were when I had to serve Mundus! He always took vacation at these days and I had to suffer under her capriciousness!" The brothers look at each other, very understanding.

"Well. Do you want to ask more questions?" Of course we want to. A men stands up opens his mouth and... once more the door flings open, against Trish's head. A cheerful young girl with a scar on her nose and eyes of different colours comes in.

"Hi Dante! I just forgot my knickers last night!" Vergil who awaited our question startles disbelieving, while Lady gets down, seeing him.

"Oh--- Hello Vergil...!" Uh it's very cold in this room now… The door is closed… Oh yes, we've omitted someone. Trish is standing there, glares at Lady and clenches her fists. On her face a dark shadow, her eyes like the blazing hellfire.

"YOU BITCH!" She sends an electric jolt at Lady than screeches at Dante.

"YOU WANKER! YOU SON OF A WHORE!" Well, insight is the first step to improvement, if you count that she looks like his mother...

"HEY! SHE'S MY MUM, TOO! Don't blame her for the family's black sheep!" Oh Vergil that was a slip up! Another lighting is missing his head for inches.

"YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN HIM!" Vergil just found out that it's not healthy to get in the way of a couple's quarrel.

"DANTE IS MUCH BETTER THAN VERGIL, YOU BLOND SLATTERN!" Oh this turns out to become a bitch-mudslinging.

"OH GET HOME AND LET DADDY SWADDLE YOU, CHIT!" Lady's eyes narrow to slits, Vergil grabs Dante and drags him out of range, he already guesses what comes now.

"LET HIM OUT OF THIS!" Lady cocks her bazooka... Strangely enough Vergil is typing somewhat on the computer... Lady aims and... Dante can just holler.

"NOT IN MY HOUSE!" She shoots! ------------- Just black and white points flicker around on our screen...

"Erm... well it seems that we lost the connection to them... I'm sorry folks, but this seems to be the end of our show..." The people stand up, just those from the -VIVP- stay, praying that Vergil will be alright.

"Semi! Semi!" My assistant runs to me, stumbles, crashes onto his face, gets up and runs on. "We received an email!" I shrug and kick my water bottle in the can. The show was cool but it ended in a complete disaster.

"Wow. We got fucking emails every fucking day!" The sarcasm in my voice could make a clown cry... He shakes his head.

"NA. THIS ONE'S FROM VERGIL!" Oh that's what he typed. The rest of the audience listens up. My assi tells me the subject matter and we call the audience back. Yeah-ha!

"Folks we got a wonderful message! The show's not finished yet! We just got an email from Vergil, with a link in it! And the nice man wrote us, we should wait some minutes and then we can build a new connection with that link. And he will be there, again! Is that cool or what?"

Audience shouting and rejoicing, making lots of racket. Me, covering my ears 'cause they're already ringing...

"I propose we take another commercial break in which you can make your bet about which chick will win the brawl! I'd say 30 minutes at least 'cause we have Win XP..."

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