Disclaimer for the feds: I am an American girl who has an IQ of 6 and has no relations with Japan or any Japanese manga artists. That means I do not own Naruto.

Maru: Please dont ask me about other fics. I'm multitasking!

Mizumi: I'm actually apart of this authorization for once. MIZUMI IS BACK!

Areru: I'm helping too! I love Sasuke!

Maru: I ran out of ideas.....sorry. Theys gonna help.

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Orochimaru: Well well....It seems that the coffee machine is broken....Kabuto?

Kabuto: /Walks in nonchalantly and rubs his eyes. He yawns loudly as a way of saying 'I heard you.' He groggily saunters over to the broken coffee dispenser./ ...When was the last time I cleaned it? /Kabuto's eyes grow heavy and shut, as he looks over at his bossman who is pissed./

Orochimaru: /Unseemingly enraged by that last comment./ Is it MY job to keep track of your chores?

Kabuto: No.

Orochimaru: Is it MY job to make MY coffee in the morning?

Kabuto: No. But when I'm on my vacation...wait. No.

Orochimaru: Uh-huh. /In an effect of drowsiness, the snake man sees that he must rush to the point. Then yell about getting his decaf./ And is it MY job to clean out the coffee maker?

Kabuto: No. /Opens his eyes to a bed-head pale man with firey eyes and no eye shadow. Should he back talk? Kabuto realized it was too early in the morning for this. So... he found a solution!/ I'll fix the coffee maker! /And tiredly he pointed at the machine./

Orochimaru: Good. /Relieved to hear those words, he floats out of the kitchen and through the house to the upstairs bathroom./ I shall take my morning shower. When I come out, I expect my coffee! No slacking! /Orochimaru stepped into the bathroom and shut the door./

Kabuto: Fine, fine. /He started fiddling with the coffee maker while muttering profanitys only to find there was mold in the coffee filter. He took out a sponge and after a few minutes the coffee maker was fixed/ Now all I need to do is make the coffee... /He looked in the cupboard and took out the coffee, still muttering profanitys. It wasn't decaf. All they had was French vanilla, the sworn coffee enemy of the enemy of Konoha. Kabuto glanced around quickly to the bathroom and tossed the coffee into the pot, getting ready for Orochimaru./

Orochimaru: /Singing in the shower/

Kabuto: Why did I ever agree to join him? If there's one thing he's bad at, it's singing. /Shivers/ !!!!!!! Kareoke is coming up too! Shit!

Orochimaru: /Whispering/ I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Orochimaru: /Waltzes out of the bathroom dripping wet and in a satin robe with little green and yellow snakes on it. He seems relaxed and poised, 'slithering' around barefooted on the tile./ Is my coffee ready? /Happily he called. Ah, in the midst of mornings, he felt good./

Kabuto: /Dishes out a inconspicuous glare./ Yes....

Orochimaru: /Dances into the kitchen, making the tails of his robe fly upwards. Scary./ Is it MY job to pour the coffee? /Oro spat this out evily. Noone shall ruin his morning!/

Kabuto: No. /Takes out the mug and sluggishly pours the steaming hot java into a care bears mug. Then, walks off without a word./

Orochimaru: Whats his problem? /Takes in a hearty chug of java unknowingly.../ WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU FORGOT THE CREAM! Wait a minute.... THIS ISN'T DECAF!

Kabuto: /Hurries into the bathroom and locks the door. While being scared, he hops into the shower with his clothes on./

Orochimaru: Oh... So that's how my pet is... /Silently sneaks to the down stairs bathroom. What shall he do?/

Toilet: /Flushes ever so loudly./

Kabuto: La de DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWWWWOOOOO! /Screaming bloody murder. Why? The ol' hot water trick! He hurriedly rushed out of the tub./

Orochimaru: /Sinisterly laughs/ It's what you get for--? /He starts to turn blue and his eyes bright red. Next, he swells up like a kitty and starts to thrash around like a deer who got shot in the stomach./

Kabuto: ORO?! /Rushes over to him but is knocked down by the beloated berry./ Oh god! I must save him!

Orochimaru: /Falls down and rolls out of the kitchen, only to bump into the reptile tank holding Snoo, the pet Bermise python./

Snoo: /Looks at his daddy, confused. 'Why does he look like a berry?' he thought. He flicked his tongue out to taste the air. 'French Vanilla...? Oh no! Oro-sama's allergic to vanilla! Save him, mommy, save him!'/

Kabuto: /Adjusts his glasses and performs hand seals./ ...What? It's not working! My medical jutsu's wont even touch him! Crap! Think, Kabuto, think. What would Tsunade-chan do? /Thinks...and thinks. And thinks again. No ideas.../ Ack! I gotta get him away from the snake tank! /The poor spy tries to pull his master away from the tank but Snoo wraps around Orochimaru's arm, like he's hugging him to death./

Snoo: /'SAVE HIM! SAVE HIM! Hiss...hiss! SAVE DADDY, MOMMY!'/

Kabuto: /Mad/ I am NOT your mom, Snoo.

Snoo: /'That's not what Oro-sama said! SAVE HIM!'/

Orochimaru: /Rolls around the entire house and out the sliding glass doors, actually, rather through the sliding glass doors. Ker-Spoolsh! He's in the pool!/

Kabuto: /Runs out of door frames. Sees the catastrophy. /Shit. Not good. I gotta get him out before he drowns. Now where was that life saver? /Looks around and no avail./ Shit. I gotta remeber what I learned from Junior Lifegaurds...One...Two...Three! /Jumps in to the rescue!/

Orochimaru: /Thrashes. He's not blue anymore-he's purple./

Kabuto: /Thrashes/

Snoo: /Wont let go/

Kabuto: /Blub blub glug!/ I...Cant breathe!

Snoo: /'Just think how Daddy feels!'/

--i love nonpoint you should too-- --i love nonpoint you should too-- --i love nonpoint you should too-- --somebody cut off yo head!--

/'The room is dark...Or atleast till you open your eyes....Wait... What's that white light...?'/

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Maru: That's it for now. I'll clean it up in chapter two. Also...a new style of writing!

Mizumi: Everybody fear for your lives!