Disclaimer: Characters unfortunately © to all the wonderful makers of Fullmetal Alchemist. I only chose to play with the boys.

Author's Notes: I'm going straight to hell for this story, I know it. ::grin:: There's more smut this time around, but look, there's also plot! ::gasp:: Well, I'm trying, damn it. Still no spoilers either, by the way.


Namida
- Chapter 3 -
Filthy Little Secret

Daylight had completely strayed from the sky by the time Edward reached the dormitories. The hallway was quiet, safe for the habitual murmur of voices from behind closed doors. It was that time of day where it was far too early to go to bed and far too late to do much else. The cafeteria was probably packed and loud – the last place he wanted to step into, even though his stomach protested loudly with hunger. He absently rubbed at it, thinking that perhaps there was something to snack on in the room. And for once he wished there was some way for him to sit alone for a little while. Alphonse knew him far too well to believe that it had just been another simple, eventless day. And as much as he loved his younger brother, he did not want to be questioned, even if it was out of concern.

As expected, his brother had already returned to the room and sat at the desk, flipping through one of the various books he had confiscated out of the library.

"I'm back." He announced, putting the effort into sounding nonchalant, if not actually content.

"Welcome back!" Al turned around to look at him, and even through the cold metal of the armor, Ed could see the smile that would have been there. Perhaps some company was not the worst thing in the world right now, he thought quietly to himself while shuffling across the room. The mattress of his bed squeaked beneath his weight as he flopped down upon it, remaining like that a few moments, staring at the ceiling before sitting up to tug the heavy boots from his feet.

"Did you see the Colonel, niisan?"

"Hm..?" A blink. Oh…shit. "No, I didn't get to."

Scrutinizing eyes fell upon him right away. "What did you do all day?!"

Edward felt himself grow flustered as he gathered himself upon the mattress. "I was at the library!" He returned a little too quickly. It was the first lie he could think of that would sound somewhat plausible in this situation.

"Nissan!"

"What?"

A sigh echoed within the hollow armor. Al shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder if you like to invite trouble."

Edward wondered about that himself from time to time, but would say nothing on the subject right now. It was a touchy topic, ringing far too close to home. In order to divert the attention away from his afternoon whereabouts, he pushed himself up. "I'm going to go take a shower," he muttered, grabbing the first thing at the top of his trunk before shuffling out into the hall. Once the door was shut behind him, he paused, releasing a deep, shaky breath. Fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. He was far too worked up for his own good.

"If you kick me one more time, chibi-san, I'm dropping you on your head!" Envy warned him, jabbing a finger into Ed's side, which only got another spaz fit out of him.

"Let me go!" No sooner had he uttered the word and the tip of his boot scrapped the bare skin of the other's abdomen, that Ed saw the ground race up to meet him. Eyes wide, he held out his arms just in time to catch himself with an ungraceful flip that landed him on his back. The air rushed from his lungs and he coughed. But at least he was free…and staring up the length of a pair of bare legs. He flushed, scrambling quickly into a sitting position as Envy crouched down beside him with a crooked frown upon that pretty face.

"You've got serious stubbornness issues, chibi-san."

"Stop calling me that." He half growled, making sure there was some distance them.

Envy chuckled. "As soon as you grow a bit more."

Golden brows furrowed in a glare, but unlike all other times, Edward did not flail over the insult. It was different coming from someone he purely detested than a mere stranger or even those that had become part of his rather dysfunctional family.

"There, there, shrimpy-san," Envy mocked him, complete with a pat on the head and a flick of that ever-present antenna that him a few extra centimeters to call his own.

Ed scowled and shook away from the patting hand. After a couple of unsuccessful tries, he pushed himself to his feet, dusted himself off and began backing away, toward the main street where there was more movement. He grew suspicious as he watched Envy still crouched before him, peering up at him. Grew even more suspicious as the other made no move to rise, but the look in those deep violet eyes grew even more devious – if such was even possible.

There was no time to dash out of the alley, but perhaps he could have made time. If there was something he was good at was running from unwelcome enemies. And yet Ed found himself backed into the wall, pinned there by nothing other than two thin yet muscular arms on either side of him; the slender, almost feminine body that stood before him. "You can behave or I can stop being nice."

"Nice?!" Ed almost screamed; an urgent sense of panic welling in his throat. "If you want to be nice then leave me the fuck alone!"

Envy sighed, bowing his head slightly, which caused loose strands of that silky hair to brush against his cheek. Ed forced himself to remain still, though pressed his eyes tightly shut. This was not happening. A sharp crack caused him to return to himself, jumping slightly in place. He caught debris crumble to the floor beside him and turned his head slightly to see an indent in the wall beneath Envy's fist. Golden eyes widened. The urge to run was now stronger than ever. He saw his escape by ducking beneath his captor's arm, but before being able to complete his strategic move, he was shoved forcefully against the wall once more and his lips claimed just as quickly.

He remembered that touch, the taste that lingered upon that mouth. A taste he did not recognize, nor could ever place but would always know it to be Envy's. For a brief instant Ed wished he knew some name other than that despicable sin by which to call him. For that brief instant a name was important because somehow it would distance him from past events and his endless quest. Because then he might even be able to enjoy the touch of those lips, the taste of that kiss without having to fight the need that knotted in his stomach.

------

The knock on the door jarred him out of his reminiscent thoughts of that afternoon. He blinked dumbly and shut off the water that had begun to run cooler than he would have liked it. Another knock sounded, this time in the company of Al's voice calling for him.

"I'll be out in a minute, Al."

"O-…okay." He could tell that there was more to the response, but none came. After a few moments, he heard the heavy steps distancing themselves from the door. Edward exhaled, bringing a towel to the dripping strands of blonde hair.

Not five minutes later, he emerged from the steaming bathroom and padded barefoot toward the room. The bottom of his loose black pants dragged on the floor, much too long for him but it was the comfort that mattered. His stomach growled and he glare at it through the faded gray tank top he had thrown on. Perhaps it was time to give in… he knew that cinnamon roll still sat on his bedside table…

Ed darted into the bedroom, golden eyes predatorily scanning for the white box that would be the solution to his hunger. Momentarily, at least. The thought of what that bun meant did not even cross his mind – well, it did, but either the shocking effect had numbed or he had reached the point of desperation.

"Niisan?" Al called curiously. The sight must have been truly amusing as he climbed over the bed to check the floor next to the table. There! He reached down, snatching it from the small pile of books that had gathered there over the last couple of days.

"Yosh!" he cheered quietly, prying the box open. It was not out-of-the-bakery fresh like he was used to, but it was still good, still held that incredible smell that caused his mouth to water. He was not even sure how he had managed to avoid it all of the previous night.

He broke off a piece, relishing in the taste of sugar and cinnamon and the half-melted icing. This was not the time to savor it, however, when his stomach demanded attention. Thus, as Al watched dumbfound, Ed devoured the roll within a couple of minutes and took the time to suck the icing and crumbs from his fingers. Only then did he notice the look his brother was giving him from across the room and blinked. Edward flashed him a silly grin, half embarrassed by his display of seeming starvation.

Funny…the roll had been nothing but a roll. There had been no impending doom as he had expected. It had just been a roll like any other, even if it had been brought by someone that, at least for a week, had ruined the savor of cinnamon rolls for him.

He could not feel any more relieved. And for the moment sated, Ed flopped down on his bed, a small grin upon his lips. A breath escaped his lips as he rolled onto his side, tucking an arm beneath his damp head. Golden eyes fell upon the large suit of armor his brother inhabited. All signs of a smile left him as quickly as it had appeared.

"What's the matter?"

Metal scrapped softly as Al shook his head. "It's nothing, niisan."

Ed opened his mouth to protest, but his brother went on. "It's just that you've been acting strangely ever since we got back."

Silence reigned for a few moments. The mattress creaked softly as Edward sat up, slightly frowning at the observation.

"Everything's okay, right?" Al continued. "You'd tell me if there was something wrong, right, niisan?"

"Ah…" Ed was taken back for a moment, but quickly summoned a smirk. "Of course."

It did not appear that his younger brother had been entirely convinced. In fact, he was not sure if his response had made it even worse before easing Al's anxiety. Ed sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"Nothing's wrong, Al, I promise."

His brother nodded quietly, saying no more as he returned his attention to the books on the desk in front of him.

Edward frowned, but let it go. There was little he could do. He certainly could not reveal what had caused him to behave…strangely, as Al had put it, through the duration of the previous week. Resigning any further thought on the matter, he lay back down, willing himself to sleep.

------

He knew he should not be there…standing inside that door, inside that small room that was not his own. He knew that he would come to regret it later and yet, having the chance to turn around and walk away, he chose to stay behind. Ed stood there a few moments longer, hand upon the doorframe, still within the range of escape until he felt those slitted violet eyes upon him. Before Envy had a chance to say anything, he closed the door behind him.

Ed was not sure just what had happened in the last half an hour. It was as if he had lost that bit of time somewhere between the first kiss and this very moment. It was a guilty pleasure, perhaps. The promise of feeling those few moments of pleasure once more. But he could not shake the thought of abandonment that had end it all the previous week. He could not shake the coldness he had felt, the heavy pit within his stomach, which was now replaced by an anxious feeling. Must be those infamous butterflies he had always heard people mention.

He gasped, feeling hands upon his shoulders and glanced up. His had had been lowered to the point that he had neither heard nor seen the other pad on over to wake him out of his reverie. "Wha..?"

A slender brow disappeared beneath the dark headband. "Did you come here to stand there and daydream, chibi-san?"

Fullmetal tried to glare at the insult and yet…it was becoming more of a name Envy called him out of habit more so than an actual insult. Realizing that his mind was about to carry him off once more, he forced his throat to work. "No…"

The small grin that spread over the other's lips did little to ease the constant fluttering in his gut. Ed was doing his best not to think – granted, he was surely not thinking very logically if he had come here out of his own will. He would no doubt deny that free will later on.

"You think too much."

He jumped. Again. Twice in the span of a couple of minutes. He would never live it down. But while he was preoccupied in combating the scarlet hues that insisted in spreading over his face, he felt himself being led across the room. He had not even thought that the homunculus would have living arrangements. It was easier to think of the enemy as something other, distant from himself.

It was when the cool air graced his skin that he realized the missing coat and unzipped jacket that hung from his shoulders. A gasp was torn from his lips as fingers slid over the bare skin of his flesh; over the dark scars that disappeared beneath the plates of automail. A small whimper escaped him soon thereafter. Envy had easily picked up on the heightened sensitivity in that area and traced those deep jagged scars with slow, sensual brushes of lips and tongue. Edward shuddered, tangling his fingers non-too-gently into long emerald tinted strands. Even through the cold metal of the automail, he could feel the warmth of those lips and as they gradually ascended up the side of his neck, he shivered pleasantly.

The mattress was beneath him, soft and surprisingly comfortable. His hair, slightly wavy from the constant braiding, spread haphazardly around his shoulders. Ed bit his bottom lip, tilting his head with a suppressed cry. He had began to wonder if Envy had not been named incorrectly. And as those lips slipped around his throbbing member, Ed cried out, unable to stifle it any longer and was thoroughly convinced that this sin's proper title should have been Lust.

------

Edward sat up with a gasp, finding himself in cold sweat even though the room was warm; late morning sunshine streaming in through the open window. The room was deserted. Someone was stubbornly banging upon the door.

"Hold on!" He muttered, stumbling out of bed. It took some effort to make it to the door without any incidents; his body did not seem to want to properly function this soon after rising out of bed.

The morning could not have started any worse if he had opened the door to Satan himself. Edward stood there, fingers clasped around the doorknob, glimpsing up at the uniformed figure of Mustang standing in front of him.

"Colonel," Ed mumbled quietly, curiously.

"Fullmetal."

"To what do I owe the honor of a house visit?"

Colonel Roy Mustang visibly twitched at the sarcastic tone. Clearly he had not expected Ed to gather his ever-pleasant attitude this soon after being awaken. He pushed past the partly open door, inviting himself in, which caused Ed to glower before having no other choice than shut the door behind him.

"Well?"

Mustang turned around, heavy boots thudding against the floorboards. "A rather interesting report has come into my possession this morning."

A golden brow was raised in question.

"The bookshop keeper mentioned that you had come in alone early afternoon yesterday but left with a "curious individual.""

Edward paled considerably.

The Colonel clasped his hands behind his back and paced the short length of the room. "You then proceeded to argue with the unnamed individual, which resulted in the transmutation of your arm," he nodded to the automail. "According to the sources, the fight was not serious but…" he crossed toward Ed, reaching out to brush long bangs from the left side of his face.

Fullmetal immediately broke out of that grasp, but the damage had been done, the light bruise upon his cheek had been seen.

"…but you had gone down easily." Mustang concluded, watching him severely. "Care to tell me what you were doing brawling on the street yesterday, Fullmetal?"

Ed glared, furious with himself for being reprimanded by the Colonel yet again. When he refused to say anything, or rather could not think of an appropriate excuse, the older man continued.

"Or perhaps you'd like to tell me what happened after you were carried off by the said individual."

Edward went from having paled to flushing to a bright crimson. He should have known this would make it to the Colonel's desk, but he never imagined it would have done so this quickly and this detailed. He lowered his gaze, gritting his teeth.

"I allow you to come and go roaming all over the world in search of your stone, but I do not like secrets, Fullmetal."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's simply a reminder. Whatever happened yesterday, I do hope you take care of it quickly. I don't want to see any more of these reports showing up on my desk."

"I…"

Mustang held up a gloved hand. "Not only are you hurting yourself with reckless actions, you also defy my credibility. Your freedom is already big talk in the ranks, don't screw it up."

Ed blinked, stunned into silence. He had expected a reprimand, some sort of demand for an explanation, but this was neither of the two. The Colonel was actually looking out for him, in his own way. A crooked grin spread over his lips. "Don't worry so much, Colonel."

"With you, it's impossible not to." Mustang returned dryly and stepped toward the door, pausing momentarily beside him.

Edward cursed, forced to look up even more so than usual with the absence of his boots.

"Take care of yourself, Edward."

A blink. He watched the Colonel walk away.

"And see that you grow a few more centimeters."

Edward glared, fuming furiously. "Who the hell are you calling a bean?!!" He raged, even as Mustang slipped out, chuckling softly to himself. He was left alone, panting furiously to the dead silence of the room.

Once he composed himself, he reflected what had just happened. It had become dangerous. He was surveyed to the very last action anywhere he went, but within Central it was ridiculous. Sometimes fame turned his life much more difficult than it had to be. Edward cursed silently. This would not go on, these moments of weakness and temptation. And yet…deep within him, he knew that he would go back. What had began as something unruly and completely despicable had become nothing other than his own filthy little secret.


Ooo long chapter, written very quickly. That should make a few people happy. XD I hope this chapter's organization wasn't too confusing with all the flashbacks.