Disclaimer: Characters unfortunately © to all the wonderful makers of Fullmetal Alchemist. I only chose to play with the boys.

Author's Notes: See, the plot bunnies hit me when I'm in school. Strange creatures. Started writing it on Jan 25th during class. XD The key food that fueled it was Swedish fish. The smut is back, by the way, so those of you that missed it can rejoice now.


Namida
- chapter 7 -
Awakening

He could not help but wonder just where things had begun to go wrong. Not then until the previous night, the only other contact he had had with Envy had been the one long night he had given himself over as promised. And then… silence. Edward still remembered that night as if it had only been days – no, hours ago. He remembered how thunder clashed outside the window, giving the room a further haunted look than it already had. From the moment he had stomped through the doorway, meeting the assorted amount of daggers on the door and caught sight of the beaten up walls, Ed knew that there was more to the homunculus than what his name revealed. The violence he had seen directed at himself during previous fights had been nothing compared to the destruction those walls had seen.

Despite the haunting glow that blanketed over the small bedroom, Edward had felt more at ease there than he had in his own skin over the previous couple of years. There was something about the way the bed felt so soft, the sheets cool and comfortable against his bare, heated flesh, the way his senses were overtaken and intoxicated by light touches and taunting kisses that turned those moments into something nostalgic. He could still feel the touch of those fingers, always slightly cooler than his own tracing against the toned muscles of his chest. He remembered how they felt; how they looked. He'd always laughed at the black polish Envy used to paint those nails, always so neat – but one couldn't expect any less from someone who could change his appearance at will.

"Why do you do that..?" he'd ask his arch enemy – his… lover on one occasion.

"Hm?" Envy answered in his usual nonchalance.

"Your nails…" he breathed, brushing a finger over the blackened nails.

The homunculus grinned, flashing the perfectionist polish job. "You like it?"

Ed blinked, eyes widening momentarily as he was taken back by the sudden question. It had been perhaps the first time Envy had asked his opinion on something…anything. "I-…"

A chuckle. Fingers flicked a strand of tinted emerald from those unnatural but oh-so damn captivating eyes.

"It suits you…" the alchemist ended up admitting quietly with a faint trace of a smile.

Yes, it did suit him. Just like that ridiculous hair suited him and those clothes that no doubt always made people think of him a young girl instead. Only he could pull them off…pull all of it off as if it were nothing. He had never met someone with so much self-esteem, so much confidence and carefree attitude. In moments like that behind closed doors, Edward was convinced that he saw the real person behind the sin-named façade, the layers of borrowed faces and identities. But now… after the look he had just seen in those eyes as Envy carried off his brother, he was no longer sure who was the real being behind that mask.

Fullmetal sighed. He didn't need to be doing this, relieving such thoughts and memories. Delusions of something that should have never been and never will. A mistake, and nothing more. He didn't need to be wasting time when Al was in their hands and at their mercy. His brother and now the stone. The two things he could not lose, not when they had come this far, not when their dreams could finally be seen through the end.

Clouds dragged lethargically through the late afternoon sky. The young alchemist exhaled, watching the grey, heavy clouds above. He could already feel the heavy dampness of the incoming rain slip through the material of his jacket and penetrate the sensitive nerve endings that connected with the automail. Arms wound around himself in a weak attempt to keep himself warm. Fleshy digits slid over his right shoulder, causing him to nearly flinch as his mind wandered once more. Those same connections had been touched lightly in much the same way months earlier. He had noticed that Envy, despite his unstable moods had a certain fascination for the metal limbs that contrasted smoothly against the dark sheets, the pale bare flesh that touched their silvery surface. During the hours he had remained awake – almost afraid to fall asleep and allow himself to be at Envy's complete mercy – he noticed that the homunculus remained sprawled partly over him and always, in some way, maintaining some sort of contact with the cold, harsh metal of his shoulder and chest. Ed had found it strange at the time, but understood it now for what it was: someone who had lived that long, who carried the name of taboo from an old religion, who had seen more than Ed could ever imagine, just did not care for the 'sins' that had caused the loss of such limbs, the creation of another homunculus. It was Ed's weight to carry, and instead of adding to it by avoiding such things that were just part of him, Envy not just accepted them, but possessed them. All of him. In those hours late at night, creeping into the morning when the sun was starting to shine through the cracked windows, Ed was nothing more than a perfectly sized plushie to curl and cuddle around.

Yes…it was during those hours that the sleep deprived alchemist saw through those masks… there was someone behind all of it. Someone that looked so unbelievably peaceful, even innocent as those strands fell across his closed eyes, lashes fluttering against pale cheeks in the middle of a dream. There was no insanity there, no anger…

…at least not until the nightmares struck.

Ed jumped as thunder cracked violently above him. He saw the spark of lightening and frowned, his mind hazy from far too vivid thoughts.

He padded away from the once chalk-white wall he'd been leaning against and catching a glimpse in the window, his frown only deepened. The dark bags under his eyes gave away the weight he'd been carrying on his shoulders over the last few days, the lack of sleep he had forced upon his weary body. Fingers pinched the bridge of his nose and he shook his head, regaining some clarity as he strode forward. He'd allow his body a nap… a couple of hours of sleep would do him good. A couple of hours wouldn't hurt, just like getting out of the cold rain that had begun to pelt down against him would also not hurt at all.

Denying his mind further access at months long past, Edward stumbled into the small, board room. Even the dingy looking bed seemed like the greatest mattress he had ever set eyes upon at that moment. His body flopped heavily upon it, setting the strings in motion, which squeaked under the weight. Within minutes he found rest.

- - - -

"Nnghnn!" was the breathy moan that escaped those kissable, whorish lips as Ed's head disappeared beneath the metaphorical covers. Envy squirmed against the pile of pillows that had gathered behind him, squeezed against the dark headboard, fingers grasping at the sheets that slid down over the edge of the worn mattress and into the long blonde wavy strands of hair that had long come undone from the neat braid Ed constantly insisted on wearing. The blonde cringed as those fingers tangled none-too-gently into his hair, and immediately noticed that the momentary hint of pain seemed to delight Envy even further. If such was possible, he idly thought, fighting the instinctive urge to gag as he took his lover's throbbing member a little too far past his swollen lips.

Minutes later, Ed was leaning over him, peering into that far-too-pretty glowing, wanton face in silence. He noticed the glow of slitted violet eyes watching him from behind half lowered lids and fluttering lashes. He couldn't help snickering at the sly grin that slid over Envy's dry lips. That grin, always present no matter what – dangerous, playful. He couldn't read it half the time, but it was comforting over its absence.

The homunculus – showing absolutely no modesty in his lack of clothing – flopped comfortably against the mattress, lazily throwing an arm over his eyes as he gradually re-learned to breathe.

"And I thought you hated me…"

Silence. Envy stilled momentarily, then drew that arm away. Violet eyes fell upon him and Ed felt his turn to freeze. He'd rather be chewing his own knee by now. His big mouth always got him in trouble and it wasn't the first – nor would it be the last, he reckoned – that he had asked the worst questions possible.

"Never mind," he quickly intervened, sitting beside him, golden eyes upon the dark colored sheets beneath them.

"I never said I hated you."

Ed shook his head, sending loose strands into his visage – better yet, he could hide behind the golden curtain. "I said never mind, it's not important." And yet…it was. He knew it was and wanted to know just why this was happening if once outside these walls they'd still fight for the same thing they had been fighting about since their first encounter. Once it came down to it, he was nothing but a fuck-toy, despite his attempts to convince himself otherwise.

"You're such a bad liar, chibi-san."

A twitch.

He felt the mattress shift and immediate knew that Envy had straightened up, sat up and was leaning closer. "Speak up, chibi-san" Ed twitched further, and immediately spazzed as a finger was poked into his bare side.

"Will you stop calling me an insignificant speck of dust you can barely get your hands on?!! You're not that much taller yourself!!!" He yapped off at a speed that left Envy staring at him perplexed for a moment…before doubling over in laughter.

Ed blinked at him…then glared, golden brows narrowing dangerously. "Oi…"

He watched the top of that emerald tinted head shake as the homunculus still snickered uncontrollably.

"Oi!" He repeated a bit louder. Instead of a reply, however, Edward was greeted with a cat-like pounce that landed him flat on his back against the mattress. Eyes widened as he stared up at Envy before lips were claimed in a playful yet – as always – possessive manner. "Mm..." he mumbled to no avail, giving in seconds later with a gasp as he felt wandering digits slide down his torso toward attention-deprived lower areas.

It was just as those devious fingers wrapped almost painfully tight around him that Ed woke with a start; rain pelting hard against the small window right above the bed. He gasped, staring at the dusty glass, golden eyes barely focusing on what they saw. Muscles twitched as he pushed himself up ever slightly, only to give up seconds later and flop onto his back, gasping harshly as he stared at the water marks on the ceiling. His heart was racing in his chest. He felt hot, his shirt damp. The least he could do was struggle out of the long sleeved open-jacket before flopping back down. He whisked his tongue out to dampen dry lips and sighed soon there after, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Just what he needed: memories of that night coming back to taunt him in the worst way possible. Those leather pants felt truly uncomfortable right then and there, Ed noted whimsically.

Unfortunately he had no idea just how long he had slept and the darkness outside told him little since the heavy rain clouds effectively blocked out the sun. Feeling more tired than when he had laid down to rest Ed sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the mattress. His back slouched as he leaned forward, burying his face in the cool metal of his right hand. Moments later, he made himself stand, made his body function and respond obediently in order to carry him out the door and into the damned rain.

Before he could reach the outermost door, however, the blonde alchemist was thrown back in surprise. The front door had clashed open; outside the rain fell, roaring in his ears as the heavy drops hit the ground. From his new spot on the floor, he felt the vibration of footsteps and glimpsed up through a thick veil of golden bangs. A gasp rushed from his lungs as he saw those black toe nails, the cut off black sockies… the pale, bare expanse of a toned leg. Ed leaned back, bicycling on the floor against the dripping intruder. Not now…of all times, not after those dreams, not after those words, that laughter, the feel of those fingers… the scream welled up in his throat as he found himself pinned to the wall, watching those slitted violet eyes, the mocking grin upon those lips. It was happening again, and this time he was even worse off. His breath hitched in his chest as he pressed to the wall, wishing it would melt away and let him through, let him hide and seclude himself until it all went away, until the nightmare ended.

But no nightmare kissed like that.


Please don't kill me!! XD Okay, I know I promised a longer chapter, but I'm so happy with this that I didn't have the heart to stretch it out and possibly ruin the effect. Now that I've found my muses again (after that horrible chap 6), this will be easier as it's moving toward the end. Stay tuned! Comments are appreciated as always!