Disclaimer: Characters unfortunately © to all the wonderful makers of Fullmetal Alchemist. I only chose to play with the boys.
Author's Notes: I really am on an update spree. :snicker: Not like that's a bad thing. Now let's see… started writing this at the campus computer lab on Feb 4th. Yes, a day after the previous update.
Namida
- chapter 9 -
Transcendence
Time hung still. The silence inside the room was deafening – from outside filtered in the rhythmic drops of rain, sinking from the edges of the roof to splatter on the ground, creating puddles that resonated eerily. The floorboards creaked, clothes whispered and shuffled. Metal resonated – the inner workings of machinery, running a bit rougher due to the previous downpour-inflicted abuse. If it hurt him, Ed made absolutely no complaints as he stood, a little shaky, feverish even, but made no show of it. He walked to the chair that held his clothes, tugging the cool, still mildly damp shirt over his head with a slight flinch, which he bit back rather effectively. The jacket was held tightly to his chest as he faced the door, giving Envy no chance to look him in the eyes. Not now. Not when it had come down to this.
His shoulders shook with the powerful shiver that slithered up his back, causing him to tighten the hold around the crumbled, wrinkled and soiled black jacket. The shivers came to a startling end when Envy rose from his spot on the floor, having previously shifted to allow Ed to slide away from him. The whispering footsteps were far too easily identifiable, the nearing of that unnaturally created being that radiated with such ambiguous feelings and polar emotions did nothing to ease the muscles that had tensed up minutes earlier.
"I'm going," Edward stated flatly, stepping away before Envy ever had a chance to reach him. Not like he couldn't if he really wanted to, but the thought that he had consciously gotten away was enough to comfort him for the time being. He had paused at the door, cold metal fingers touched the beaten up doorframe. When there was no reply from the homunculus, he continued on past the threshold and into the front hall where he had been previously trapped.
The rain had stopped, he noted with a whimsical glance. The night was still heavy in the sky, cold, damp. Boots thudded heavily into the puddles that had gathered on the steps as he descended down to onto the muddy ground. Footsteps shuffled behind him – bare feet against the floorboards. He wondered how Envy handled it; walking everywhere like that… then again he also dressed like that and both because he wanted to. With a sigh, Ed decided that it really didn't matter. At one point in time he'd been curious enough to ask. Now…he was just as curious but lacked the proper courage and words to do so.
"I'm going to get my brother." He affirmed, successfully keeping all the uncertainty out of his voice. "I don't care what it takes," he continued quietly and only then glimpsed over his shoulder, peering up the height difference further elevated by the steps at the being that had become his personal waking dream – a livid nightmare. "I will get him back."
He watched those cat-like eyes narrow dangerously; those kissable lips twist and turn with an ugly, dangerous scowl. And yet he continued to look…beautiful, enticing. But he knew better now. He had woken from his dream with a startling revelation that had left him beaten and bruised. It had cost him half his sanity and his only living family (that he would acknowledge). It had led him here, to a decadent Inn with watermarked ceilings, peeling paint and dusty floors. It had led him to a feverish sleep in his enemy's lap – even led him to believe that lap had offered the most warmth and comfort he had felt in years. Twisted, warped… but his eyes were open even if his heart did not want to accept it.
This time you're wrong, he told himself, scorning the figurative heart that kept him there still, peering up at taboo creation that had become this being. This time I won't let you win. Edward swore vehemently.
"You go and get your brother, o-chibi-san," Envy finally responded after a few moments. Ed noted that the Sin's voice had become deeper and it wasn't just anger – he had heard him in angry moods plenty to recognize it. No, it was something else he could not quite pinpoint. "Go an' fetch your precious little stone." He concluded with a wide grin and for the first time, Fullmetal saw pure insanity squirming to break free behind those glazed violet eyes.
There was nothing left to say and thus, he chose to remain silent, breathing evenly as he merely looked away and stormed off, willing his body to break into a run once the rundown Inn was a few meters away. He ran hard, breath pumping through his body, cold air hurting his lungs, his heart beating incredibly fast against his chest. He felt hot, feverish but it did not matter. He was led by a combined surge of panic and determination that would not allow him to slow down now. Not with the metal weight that wore him down and made him desperately clumsy at times, not with the heavier weight his mind felt as thoughts dashed to and from. He would not stop now – not until he had released Al. Not until everything finally came to an end.
-
Whirling darkness enveloped him. He felt little hands and fingers brush against his flesh with chilling, icy touch. His skin crawled at the sensation, at the memory of what those touches signified – of what they wanted from him. But not this time…he had nothing to give up this time. Nothing he would give up. The storm of images that forced their way into his mind were enough to leave him dizzy and disoriented. If it were not for the burning resolve that ate away at him. The memory of those flames, the crashing of beams – he still felt them all. Felt the cold grasp of death – not so different from those hands that sought for him now as he ran forward through the darkness, blindingly seeking a way out. It was then, after what seemed to be an eternity of searching, even though he knew only short moments had gone by, that he found it. The nightmarish gate that had stolen nearly everything from him, through which he had been forced and through which he would now fight his way out of.
Every last inch of his body hurt as he fought off the little guardians and shoved open the heavy doors. He felt the sweat drip down his back, into his eyes, stinging in a way that only perspiration can. He glimpsed through the haphazard veil of blonde that fell into his visage as light emerged and the ancient ballroom became visible and not just a distant memory. With a scream, he broke through, all the pressure that wanted to keep him within that suffocating darkness released, causing his balance to shatter and drop him to the floor.
Silence ringed loudly in his ears as he gasped to regain his breath, regain his life in this world that was his. He heard the soft mutters of his name, the gasps of disbelief as he pushed his way out of that nightmarish place, but it hardly mattered. His lungs burned with the heavy gasps he took; his throat was dry. But he was home. Strangely he did not feel as relieved as he thought he would be. Perhaps it was the glow that emitted from his brother's armored body. That crimson hue that indicated the widely sought Philosopher's Stone. But that hue was being eaten away – or perhaps the best word would be devoured – by the soulless being that knew nothing other than his gluttonous tendencies.
"Al…" he whispered, before his attention was consumed by the all-too-familiar face of Dr. Marco standing before him. Edward blinked…then glared, brows furrowing dangerously. How dare he! How dare he still play these games with him when he knew for a fact whose face lay beneath all those layers!
Fullmetal's anger only increased when the bastard took the features of the late Brigadier General Hughes. Thoughtless of the consequences, he charged forward, anger pulsing through his veins despite the exhaustion of his body. "Don't screw with me!" He screamed, frustration exploding through him with the well aimed punches and kicks that Envy so easily dodged. But this time he was determined – it was more than the usual confrontation that had resorted to violence in the past. This time…this time he would not allow it to go any further. And thus urged by past events, torn sentiments and betrayal, he caught that disguised body, shoving him to his knees with ease.
"It won't work this time," he gasped, metal arm tightening dangerously around Envy's disguised throat. "I killed the homunculus with the face of my mother, I can kill you just as easily!"
As soon as he uttered the words, he regretted them for that was the shape Envy immediately took. He saw those caring eyes – not the unnatural slit violets, but the deep green of his mother's – and froze, feeling the sting of tears in the corner of his eyes. The moment's hesitation was more than enough to get him a kick to the face and an up close experience of the cold floor once again.
As he lay there with the cold floor against his forehead, midway through pulling himself back up, he remembered the look Envy had given him upon his departure. He remembered the fear he had felt at that moment, the panic as he ran through the various puddles of dirty water that further soiled and drenched his leather pants. He remembered and looked up then into those violet eyes that were nothing close to resembling the softness they had previously held. The compassion that had always been present in his mother's eyes. Instead he saw those unnatural violets he had learned to look forward to seeing; eyes he had learned to…love?
There was nothing but hostility in them now as Envy took the liberty of another blow at him. The pain jarred him from his melancholic thoughts. Fight back, he told himself. Fight back. His body responded moments later, but not quick enough.
"Why are you doing this!" Edward hissed, but received no response other than a well aimed kick to the mouth. It was the best hint to get him to shut up that he had ever seen, he observed upon skidding against the cold marble. His body twisted, catching itself before collided in a less than pleasant position. Flesh and metal scrapped at the marble as he came to a halt. Fiery golden eyes looked up then. "What gives you the right to treat people like this?" His voice raised in anger. "What gives you the right to treat me like this!" Edward completely exploded then.
By this point they had gained an audience, but neither appeared to care. Envy had absolutely nothing to hide, or at least was shameless to the point of not caring what the others would think of this performance. Sometimes Ed wondered just who he was – or had been. How long had he been on this world like this…this being who morphed his body as easily as Ed performed the simplest alchemic procedure. And why…why so much hatred contained within that pivoting body. Hatred toward himself, toward the entire world…toward "that person".
Edward had once sat up late at night, nursing the wounds from earlier that evening, applying bandages to the deepest cuts and ointment to the bruises – all of which had been Envy's lovely artwork, and though about the events that had lead them up to that point. That person the homunculus talked so much about, always in fits of anger. The rage that burst through him, usually aimed at Ed for brief moments of time – usually accompanied by exclamations that would ring loudly in his head. "I will never forgive you because you have his blood in your veins!" Envy had once told him while nearly crushing his ribs with powerful kicks.
Hohenheim. He had come to the conclusion some weeks ago, but had never once brought up the subject. He found it best not to, especially not when it was such a sore subject and he already received enough beatings on a regular basis as it was. Ruining the time they managed to have without a fight would have been downright silly. Not to mention absolutely stupid.
But the reason behind the hate was still unknown. Even after having talked to his father in that strange world of machinery and discovered the truth about the years-long grudge he had kept, nothing had been clarified. He also had not had the chance – nor the thought – to ask. Thinking about it now, he probably wouldn't have been able to bring himself to do so either.
Perhaps it was just deduction, which he had absolutely no right to do, but… it matched up, even if it made absolutely no sense in his mind.
"-I'm stronger than you!" he caught half of the words, but they were enough to stir him out of his thoughts. Edward scowled, realizing that his question had either not been answered or he had completely missed it with his internal dialogue.
Even now, always mocking, always having to be the best in whatever way possible. And yet, despite how much Ed wanted to hate him – find it within him the emotion necessary to truly despise him, he could not. Not when he ran after him, not when he tackled that body to the ground while the homunculus was distracted by Wrath. Not when he slammed his left fist into that beautiful face, only to raise it once more for a second shot. Envy, however, was not phased by the punch and was quick to not only switch appearances but also grasp his wrist with the strength he had revealed the previous night.
Edward gasped, watching that face return to the androgynous beauty he knew and adored. The distraction was enough to land him flat on his back, arms pinned roughly at his sides while lips pressed with a possessive anger to his mouth. Golden eyes snapped open in surprise, in outrage. What was he doing? Here! Now! In front of Lyla – no, Dante. In front of the two other Sins. In front of Rose! In front of…
In front of his brother.
Now before you brick me to death, remember if I'm dead I can't finish this! XD
I apologize for the spoilers and parallel to the storyline. I took quite a few liberties, as some of you can see. The way it should have happened kind of thing. D I'll estimate right now that I have at least two-three more chapters left before really ending it. The next one will be plot-related, the others won't. And that's all I'll say about that. As always, comments muchly appreciated and remember to keep the bricking to a minimum!
