A/N: Originally this was three seprate chapters, but I realized they were all really fillers, so I combined them. I couldn't think of a better title for this chapter though... My usual dividers got screwed up somehow, so in this chapter I'm using "OOOOO" as a divider.
Princess Pinky: That's ok if you can't review for a while. I understand. Glad this rocked your pink socks! I'm still wearing the black knee-highs from my school uniform... ok,I'm rambling, you probably don't care...
Alyssa Halliwell: Yeah, I know Phoebe would make a good mom based on her "natural" mother instincts. But that's what inspired me to write all this in the first place. I thought to myself, "What if she's so goodwith babiesbecause she already had a kid of her own?" And, well, here we are...
charmed4eva1990: Glad to see you're still reading this even though you didn't want Phoebe to end up pregnant! Everyone seems to feel sorry for Phoebe as they read this... I guess allmy reviewers think alike!
fanmania: Hey, a new reviewer to my story! Thanks for jumping on the bandwagon, better late than never! Glad you're liking this so far!
CHAPTER SEVEN- DECISIONS
March 4, 1997
I know it's risky, but I still haven't been able to shake that New York notion. I know there are a million things that could happen to doom me forever, like if my dad won't help me or if I can't even find him at all. But I just don't want my family to find out about this. I know it sounds stupid, but it's a big issue for me. Not only will they look at me differently, but so will the rest of San Francisco. And Prue will think of a million other cruel insults to taunt me with. There is no way she'll ever believe I didn't make advances towards Roger if she finds out I'm pregnant. God I hate keeping secrets. Especially one this big. I can't believe I've managed to hide it this long; I'm usually terrible with secrets. How long can I keep hiding it? New York is really sounding good right now… It seems so easy- leave a note, sneak out in the night, hop on a bus, ride across the country. But what happens when I get there? I'll need money for a place to live, money to raise a child, money for food, for clothes… It's all so complicated. Especially if there's no one there to help me out. And financial stability is only half of it- how in the world am I supposed to be a good mother? I know nothing about babies! I will fail as a parent. Why did dad have to leave? Why couldn't he just be like every normal father? So many things would be different today if he had just stayed. Maybe we'll never know the real reason why he left us.
OOOOOOOOOO
"Phoebe?" Piper asked as she walked in the living room from the solarium. "Were you just… crying?"
"Oh… well, it's this TV movie I'm watching. It's so sad!" Phoebe answered, grabbing a tissue.
"Are you feeling okay? You don't usually cry over movies."
"I… guess I've just been emotional lately."
"PMS?"
"I wish," Phoebe muttered.
"What?"
"Probably. I said probably. It's probably PMS, you're right."
March 18, 1997
It's been about a month since I got pregnant, and I still can't believe it's even happened. Holding a baby in my arms and knowing it's mine… it gives me chills. I want so badly to tell Piper what's going on. She'd understand me, give me advice. She's the only one who really acts like my sister. I wonder if anyone can sense that I'm hiding something. God I hope not…
I've already started to get the pregnancy symptoms: hormones, morning sickness, breast pain… it sucks. This makes me wonder why everyone even bothers with this. Why don't they just adopt? It would be a lot less stressful… and less painful.
I'm so scared about everything. My grades have started to drop because of all that's weighing on my mind. I can't sleep at night, and it doesn't help that I can't have coffee. I try everything to get my mind away from it all- TV, music, books… and nothing works. I haven't even thought of baby names yet. Our family has kept a tradition of giving our kids a "P" name for at least four generations. So what are my options? All the desirable names seem to have been taken. What's left, Priscilla? Partridge? What am I having, a hippie child? Well, now that I think of it, there are a few normal names left. Like Pamela, or Paige…
OOOOOOOOOOO
March 23, 1997
Katie's still the only other person who knows about my child. (I've drawn the list of names down to Peri, Paula, Pamela, and Paige.) Neither of us have come up with a better plan for me to keep this a secret than going to New York. Katie suggests that I go somewhere closer, like Seattle or something, just in case I need to come home. But my father might be in New York. I barely got to know him growing up. This may be the only chance I'll get to meet him. Well, if I do this, I'll have to do it soon. I'm gonna start showing in what, two months? And my breasts will grow before that. (Knowing Prue, she'll probably think I'm just stuffing my bra to look more like a slut or something.)
I have to get out of here. Any moment someone could find out what's been going on, and all my secret-keeping would be worthless. Plus, it would help to get out of the city for a change. Not only have I been here my whole life, but I'm the only Halliwell to never have lived somewhere other than this house. (I was even born it in for Christ's sakes!) I'm getting kind of tired of this old red house, all these stained glass windows, every antique… not to mention Prue's insults and Grams' nagging. I guess pregnancy makes you feel restless, too. I feel like I have to go to New York, despite all the risks. Like I'm supposed to or something. Everything happens for a reason, right?
A/N: Sorry if it might have seemed jumbled together. Remember, until recently it was three short chapters. Next chapter will tie-in to "Pre-Witched." Hope you enjoy! Review!
