A/N. Here's a short interlude, didn't want to leave you in too much suspense over Snape's actions. I've had many theories as to why Snape decided to stop being a death eater and work for Dumbledore. This is one of them so I thought I'd include it. Enjoy.
And also, thankyou to everyone for the lovely reviews.
Chapter 5
Severus Snape left the house at Grimmauld place in the early hours of the morning and walked through the streets of London in a daze. Unsure where he was going or what he was supposed to be doing, he found himself eventually at the Leaky Cauldron. Shrugging his shoulders he went inside and ordered a bottle of Firewhiskey and a glass. He settled himself in a corner, wanting to hide from the world for a while. Looking around him, he saw that the only other customers were an old wizard who seemed to have fallen asleep at the bar and a dazed-looking banshee drowning her sorrows by the fire. It was understandable, given the time, Snape guessed that it must be three or four in the morning. He grimaced as he downed his first shot. He wasn't normally much of a drinker but the arrival of Black's daughter had put him in a very strange mood and he suddenly felt the urge to get more drunk than he had ever been in his entire miserable life.
He'd arrived at Grimmauld Place earlier that evening to find Black and Lupin in the kitchen completely inebriated and acting in a manner to which he was completely unaccustomed. They had invited him to sit and drink with them. Warily at first, Snape had sat down, having never trusted either one of them in his life. The next thing he knew, Sirius had handed him a photograph of an angry but stunning girl who was unmistakably a member of the Black family. Snape realised at once that this was the girl, the Slayer they had been following.
"That..." Black slurred at him, "That is a picture. A picture of my daughter. My, hic, little girl."
Snape had looked at the picture in amazement, unaware that Black had any family left besides dark wizards.
"She's the Slayer." He continued, tears pouring down his cheeks, bewildering Snape even further. "I had to leave her, hic, cos of Voldemort, that bastard. But Dumble.. hic.. Dumble.. hic.. Dumbledore's bringing her back to me tonight. So you'll get to meet her Severus."
Unsure what to say, Snape handed the photo back.
"She's, she's beautiful Sirius." He said, genuinely. "I had no idea you had any children."
"Her name's Faith" said Black, proudly. "She's my Faith."
A not quite uncomfortable silence had then fallen on the three men, which was broken moments later by the arrival of Dumbledore. Snape had felt anger rising in his throat at the news that death eaters had attacked Black's daughter. When he brought the potion into the spare room, he froze at the sight he'd been confronted with; Black with his arms around his sleeping daughter. So many unspoken and buried memories came back to him, he felt an incredible desire to be anywhere but in this room, and he never hated Black so much as at that particular moment. Yet at the same time, a part of him was happy for Black, that Black had been given another chance to have family. Snape gave him the potion awkwardly, and, before he even realised what he was doing, he'd reached down and brushed a lock of hair out of the girl's face. He'd made a hasty exit after that, and now here he was, drowning his sorrows in the small hours of the morning.
He sighed heavily, downing yet another firewhiskey. He stared at the bottle of amber liquid, which was now half-empty.
"Are you going to drink yourself into oblivion, Severus?" came a soft voice.
Snape looked up to see Minerva McGonagall standing by his table, a concerned look on her face. Unsure of what to say, he simply grunted and looked back at his alcohol.
"Do you mind if I join you?" she persisted. "I could use a nightcap myself. Black's girl gave me the run around today, marched me through every gallery in London and then tried to lose me in some questionable shops in Soho."
Snape pushed the bottle towards her, but still failed to meet her eye.
"Albus sent me to see if you're alright, Severus."
"I'm fine." He snarled, becoming increasingly annoyed at Minerva's presence. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, you tell me." She said, simply.
He looked her for the first time and found that he actually did want to tell her. They'd worked together at Hogwarts for years and she knew next to nothing about him. She'd no idea why he, an ex-death eater, was teaching for Dumbledore. He liked it that way of course. But he also appreciated that she trusted Dumbledore's word, that he was actually a decent man, and she'd never pushed it further. Minerva was a good woman, he knew that. A little cold perhaps, but then who was he to judge?
"A lot of things I've tried to bury came back and smacked me in the face tonight, Minerva." He sighed.
She nodded her head a little, waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath and prepared to take the plunge.
"Seeing Black and his daughter like that. I never even knew he had a child, much less that the Dark L… Vold…" Severus paused and tried again. "Voldemort had forced him away from her. When I think of how many lives he's destroyed, I shudder at the knowledge that I helped him, I was one of them.
"Minerva, when I left Hogwarts I hated the world and everyone in it. I was a stupid little boy, but I wanted revenge on the people who had bullied me, mocked me, ruined me in school. And my parents, well, let's not even go there. I was so easily seduced by the power of Vol… Voldemort.
"I enjoyed it for the first year, I loved the power that came with entrenching fear in people's hearts. But then one night, I was in this very pub, and someone walked in and changed my life forever."
He stopped and reached into his robes, pulling out an old worn photograph. He handed it Minerva. A plain but cheerful girl of around nineteen was giggling with her arms thrown around Severus' neck. He himself was not particularly attractive, but he seemed to be finding it extremely difficult not to smile radiantly. Every now and then he'd lose the battle, his grin making his face almost handsome.
"Her name was Apollina. She was Italian. I've no idea what she ever saw in me, but I loved her the minute I set eyes on her. She noticed I was there, I think that's what made the difference. She saw who I was underneath my greasy hair, my hooknose, and my sour expressions. She made me laugh."
A tear began to form in his eye and he downed another whiskey to stifle it.
"We got married quite soon after we met, I'd never felt that way about anyone in my life. She had no idea I was a death eater, but things were quiet and I stayed out of his way. We had a baby girl; we called her Cecilia, after my mother. She would have been about the same age as Black's girl now. She was amazing, and I felt like my life was finally worth something.
"Voldemort soon found out about my newly found happiness and he was less than pleased. Apollina was a witch but her parents were muggles, a lot like young Granger there. He didn't approve of my liaisons with 'mudbloods' as he put it. I didn't know that he'd discovered us until it was too late. He put me under the Imperius curse and…"
Snape stopped as the memories became too much for him. He put his head in his hands, too ashamed to looked at Minerva. She leant across and placed a hand comfortingly on his arm.
"Come now Severus, let it out. I'm not going to judge you. You know I never have."
He looked up and smiled weakly at her, seeing genuine concern in her eyes. Then he continued shakily.
"He.. he put me under the Imperius curse and made me kill them. My child and my wife. The look that Apollina gave me when she found out what I really was, a death-eater, is indescribable. Cecilia was four, she didn't understand what was going on. I used an Unforgivable curse on them. I remember it as if it were yesterday."
Severus was crying freely now, revealing a side of himself to Minerva that he ordinarily kept deep within his soul. He forced himself to carry on.
"I don't know how Dumbledore found out about it, or why he saw something in me that was worth saving, but he did. When I got back Voldemort modified my memory, so that I would remain faithful to the death-eaters once the Imperius curse wore off. Dumbledore and some aurors caught me a few weeks later and the memory charm was reversed. When I remembered everything I broke down. Dumbledore kept me on my feet, told me that he would help me through it. But I knew that if I left the death-eaters, Voldemort would have me killed. So I agreed to become a spy for Dumbledore, and managed to convince Voldemort that I was spying for the dark mark. To this day, Voldemort believes me. I don't know how long it can last, but the only thing I live for is the hope that one day he will be vanquished forever, for what he did to me and my family.
"I've always hated Black, but I hate him even more now. He's got another chance with his little girl. Something I'll never have. If he blows it I will personally kill him."
Snape fell silent now. He couldn't bring himself to look at Minerva just yet, he wanted to get away from her. He finished off his bottle of whiskey in one gulp and stood up. The alcohol hit him in a rush, he stumbled a few paces and then fell to the floor. He looked up and saw three Minervas swaying over him, looking concerned.
"I'm fine." He murmured.
Minerva pulled out her wand.
"Ok, Severus, you're fine, but you're in no fit state for apparation. I think it's best if you stay here at the pub tonight. Tom?"
The innkeeper hobbled over to where Severus was lying.
"Yes, Professor McGonagall?"
"Could you prepare two rooms? One for Professor Snape, and one for myself. And make sure Professor Snape's has plenty of water for him to drink. I think he'll be feeling a little worse for wear in the morning."
Severus groaned as Minerva lifted him off the ground with a charm. The room was spinning wildly and he felt distinctly nauseous. She floated him up the stairs as gently as possible and he eventually found himself tucked into bed. He shut his eyes but the room carried on spinning. Too exhausted to care he fell into an intoxicated and dreamless sleep.
That's it folks. Next chapter, Faith wakes up and confronts Sirius. Tense stuff…!
