Disclaimer: Characters unfortunately © to all the wonderful makers of Fullmetal Alchemist. I only chose to play with the boys.
Author's Notes: Sorry to keep you all waiting! XD; Muses go on vacation when I do, unfortunately. But here you are…some more Bean sillyness and…possibly the return of what some of you have been waiting for…. :shifty look:
Namida
- chapter 14 -
Smitten
Alive. He was alive. The bastard was alive and well after all this time. The bastard had survived the gate – whatever process had brought him here. He had survived a year in this strange world without anyone else to guide him in its ways, in its customs, in its language. He had survived and all the while Edward had considered him lost – in more than the obvious ways.
He had never expected to see that face again; that face so hauntingly resembling his own, though slightly older, without the androgynous qualities Envy had became known for at first. There was nothing of the homunculus in him now – with the exception of his name – what name did he use now a days? – and that ever present attitude that jarred him and mystified him all at once. The graceful movements had been different, less fluid, and more…human. But he could not think of that transmuted being as anything even resembling human, as cold as it sounded even in his own head.
His head, however, was but a jumbled confusion of chaotic feelings and words as he watched the golden head disappear into the morning crowd and eventually completely from sight onto the unknown streets Envy obviously knew so well. Edward stood there, staring unseeingly at the space where he had once stood, so close; feeling the strong grasp of rough fingers around his shirt; the warm breath that escaped ever-kissable lips as he leaned so close to scold him and scowl with cruel words that cut right through him. Cruel words that carried more meaning he could have ever expected out of the little bastard.
The little bastard that had killed him, no less.
Fingers instinctively ascended to touch the wide spot in his chest where the ugly scar would have been had it not been for Al returning him from the blinding whiteness of the gate. Al… if only he could see him now: torn over harsh words and standing there like a love-sick puppy, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to feel – the anger and hatred had always been the easier emotion to portray…even if it hadn't always been the truth. There had been words left unsaid in the nights he had willingly – Ed visibly cringed at the thought – spent in the bastard's arms. Thoughts that ran through his head, but never said, never uttered to the slumbering Sin beside him.
He would never admit it, either. Not even to himself. He was not that foolish as to get attached and yet…he had, despite the false charade of angry words and thrown punches. He had been angry with him, but the hate had dwindled in the fiery nights his body had been set ablaze with unspeakable pleasure.
Ed shuddered at the memories that infiltrated his mind and shook his head, forcing his tired body to move. His previous intention of retiring into the café and gathering some information as well as some warm source of caffeine was dismissed as he hurried back the way he had come. His books would give him solace; he convinced himself, would clear his mind for a few hours…
-
"Ugh!" the desperate shout accompanied a short string of vicious curses as one of the notebooks he had invested in gracefully flew across the room. Had it been thrown two seconds later, it would have met not the wall, but a more human wall as Hohenheim peeked through the door that had been left ajar. Those mellow golden eyes blinked at the notebook that flopped on the floor, and then up at his son that sat fuming on the small couch, head buried in his fleshy hand.
"Stick to destroying only notebooks this time…" he dared break the static silence.
Ed's lack of response encouraged him to push the door the rest of the way open and step inside. The abandoned and abused notebook was gathered from the floor; the pages flipped as he crossed toward the fuming alchemist. "What seems to be the problem?"
Silence. He saw those shoulders stiffen and twitch. Hohenheim frowned and dropped the thin and mostly clear notebook on the coffee table that had been overrun by library volumes. Ed remained still, though visibly twitching. "Care to tell me what's wrong now?"
"No."
The frown deepened. He shook his head, readjusting his glasses high upon the bridge of his nose. Edward's attitude was usually like this when it came to his desperate research, but he could tell there was more to it this time. However, he had long ago learned that there was no reasoning with him at times like this and retreated quietly, shutting the door behind him.
Ed still twitched; still fumed; still kept his eyes tightly shut against his palm.
So much for clearing his thoughts through research…
-
"Shut up, Bean…" Envy muttered, but the words didn't carry as much venom as he stroked a hand along the soft furry back of his feline companion. He was in no mood for the attention-seeking kitten. He was in no mood for much of anything, really…
Part of him now wished that he had killed the vertically challenged brat. Or rather, that he had remained dead and out of reach… he wouldn't have had to resort to sitting at his kitchen table, staring at the opposing wall while idly stroking the soft fur coat of a wandering kitten that had decided to make him owner. …regardless of the fact that wasn't that unusual of him to do such things on random occasions, but definitely for different reasons he did not care to disclose or admit at the present moment. The idea that the chibi was alive and well, with a mouth on him and even seemingly taller – just a couple of centimeters, really – was not something that he had prepared himself for. Quite on the contrary! He had finally convinced himself that such a thing would never happen and that he would just have to go on living in this hellhole of a place where he knew nothing and no one.
So much for peaceful and quiet vengeance. At this point he even doubted there would be such pleasurable vengeance; not when Ed was here as well and would do all he could to protect that deserting bastard of a father they had. And to top it all off, he had been a pure idiot by uttering the words that had played out in his head for well over a year. Actually allowing them to be said to the chibi's face; admitting that he wasn't just some mass of created matter that warped through the gate some four centuries ago to take the world down with him.
Perhaps not the world…just Hohenheim of Light.
…and at that moment one year ago, his son as well. Minor details, really…
"S'what he gets for breaking a murderer's heart." Envy muttered, a wicked sense of humor carried through his bitter words. The constant nudging at his hand brought him back to the small, warm kitchen with a start. He blinked at the kitten that, in turn, stared up at him seemingly worried; if it could even feel worry, or anything resembling it for that matter. Perhaps the solitude was starting to get to his head. All it wanted was attention. Not that Envy could blame it, really. However much he hated to admit it, the kitten had been the best thing that had happened to him since the time he came whirling out of the gate. It wasn't human company, but in some ways it was better – it didn't scream at you, it didn't require sessions of conversation (most of the time it was Envy who ranted to the poor thing), it definitely was no where near as annoying as a human being could be. All in all it had been an act of god – somewhere up above – that the thing had taken a likeness toward him.
Sitting there, however, would bring him absolutely no good. He could not keep hiding forever and had no plan to do so. Envy had retreated due to his own idiotic big mouth that had dug him a hole bigger than he could ever possibly avoid falling into. Fall he did; and kept falling. The look in those golden eyes as he stated such words was enough to see mirrored in them the mistake he had made. At least Ed had been left as confused as Envy had felt.
He stood at last, much to Bean's regret since it seemed to know that the petting treatment would now cease. Fingers ran through long wavy strands of golden, pulling them out of his gaze momentarily as a breath escaped pale lips. Since when have I gotten so weak? He thought viciously and whirled, stalking to the door in such a manner that it almost resembled his previous homunculus form. Fingers slid over the dark doorknob as he snatched the keys from the nearby table. The door was yanked open and for the second time that weekend, he stopped dead on his tracks to meet an almost mirror image of himself that stared up, just as surprised by his appearance.
Behind him Bean mewed and ran forward to rub against his legs.
Time hung still; fingers twitched around the doorknob he held so tightly. Brows furrowed, lips upturned into a scowl, his body tensed. "Get out."
"Envy wait..!" Edward called, putting up a hand to stop the door that was closing far too quickly. The quick reaction only caused another scowl from Envy; the comment itself deserved a bitter chuckle.
"Wait? Wait for what, chibi-san?" He waved a hand; the keys jingled between his fingers.
Bean padded forward to inspect the visitor. After circling Ed twice, it decided that the alchemist couldn't be a foe and dared forth to nudge at his leg.
Ed had barely just opened his mouth when Envy intervened once again. "Quit it, Bean!"
"Justwhothehelldoyouthinkyou'recallingbeannowallofasudde"
"…not you for once, chibi-san." Envy cut him off after a few moments, mirth returning to his eyes. How long it had been since he'd seen Ed flail and spazz like that. He still wondered how he could possibly go on such a quick rant in one breath all the time. He was even more amused by the puzzled reaction his response received. Taking a step forward, he leaned down – watching Ed's eyes widen as he did so – and picked up Bean. The cat mewed appreciatively at all the attention he was receiving today. "Now get out," he finalized, pushing the door shut as he turned around to retire inside. Again.
Only this time, Ed was daring enough to shove the door open once more and waltz inside uninvited. The door did slam shut, but only once Fullmetal had found his way inside. Envy paused and peered over his shoulder. And as did Bean, tail flicking to and fro in the air as he crawled up Envy's shoulder to look at this new intruder.
"I don't care what you think of next to insult me with, but I am not goin"
"I named the cat Bean," Envy explained nonchalantly as he padded toward the windows that faced out onto the street, putting as much distance between himself and the chibi. He would have preferred if Ed had taken the hint and for once chosen not to be stubborn. But he realized it was far too much to ask at that point. Thus, Envy settled for staring down the two floors into the street, without really seeing anything; fingers idly petted the purring kitten draped lazily (not to mention rather contently) over his shoulder. Through the reflection of the mildly dusty glass he could see Ed's reaction to the name… a fusion of disbelief, amusement, honor and indignant glaring.
"Never knew you to have a sense of humor." The alchemist muttered as he crossed his arms – as best of his ability – over his chest.
"You never knew me at all…"
The hushed response caused Ed's glare to falter; the words to hang on lightly parted lips. Envy was just full of surprises, it seemed. He even surprised himself as the words escaped them. Perhaps the solitude had truly gotten to his head… anything was possible.
When he heard Ed shift behind him, no doubt in search of words that would not come to that bright head right away, Envy turned. Bean complained and shifted in his arms. He always had to have full few of the metaphorical stage, the cute little bastard. Golden eyes met matching ones calmly, holding an aloof distance for his – and Ed's – own safety; perhaps even their remaining sanity. "Spare yourself the trouble and just go," he told him quietly; no anger, no venom in those words.
"No-.."
"Why are you so goddamn stubborn now when you have already made it very clear that you cannot stand the sight of me, chibi-san?" That deep voice regained some of it's characteristic chill sing-song: it was the one effective way he know how to torment with nothing other than simple words.
When Ed did not reply right away, he snickered bitterly with a shake of his head. "I thought I told you that I didn't want your pity."
"It's not pity!"
"Then what is it!" Envy thundered, finally loosing grasp upon the calm collectedness he had exercised before. "I left you alone when you wanted! I showed you the truth! And I killed you for it! Isn't that enough! What more do I have to do to get you to leave!"
Fullmetal visibly flinched at the harsh statements; harsh because of the truth they held, not so much the angry, seemingly desperate tone. "If that was all you wanted, then why did you come to me in the first place!" he shot back just as angrily, stubbornly holding his ground just as ardently.
It was frightening how alike they could be sometimes…
Bean jumped down from his exalted owner's arms as Envy twitched and stepped forward. With a loud mew that went unheard, he dashed away from the pair to climb on the still unmade bed.
"What would you like to hear, o-chibi-san?" Envy mocked, feeling just as he had a year ago in his previous form; with that wonderfully androgynous voice that often confused people; the mocking tone that had been ever-present; the agility, the anger…the furious need to conquer him.
"The truth, for once!"
"You were untouchable and I wanted you." Cold, yes, but it had been the reason he had approached him at first.
"You…" Edward hissed, also taking a step forward.
"You were a damn good fuck, too, chibi-san. I won't deny that."
"You…I hate you…" a whisper.
"Ah, but you sure loved those nights," Envy snickered. "And mornings…and afternoons…" He paused momentarily, dramatically. It was more fun to make a show of it; to fully enjoy it. "If I didn't know better, I'd even say you came to crave it just as much as I did…"
"Shut up!" The whisper transformed into a shout and his left fist flew, aimed up at Envy's grinning face. It did not connect, however. Even though he no longer had the agility of the unnatural strength of a homunculus, he still had the advantage of having prepared for such an attack. He'd expected it, perhaps even coaxed it. Thus, fingers wrapped around that twitching left wrist and yanked, pulling the shorter blonde toward him.
"Why bother denying it, chibi-san?" He purred, caressing a flushed cheek with his free hand. So that was what he felt like…just as he'd remembered: the warmth of his skin, the silkiness of his hair – longer now, beautiful. He preferred it to the silly braid, too: much easier to undo. "Or are you just dealing with moral qualms over fucking your own brother?"
"Half," was all Ed could muster out, protecting the memory of his mother, perhaps. Or the memories of lustful nights he had already felt guilty enough without the knowledge of kin – however distant – between them.
Envy grinned. "Half." He agreed with a nod. Fingers slid under Ed's chin, tilting it upward sharply so that he could look at him – truly look at him for the first time in what felt like two eternities. Those features had aged a year and suited him well; but he could tell with one glance that Ed still carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders like a self-appointed task of penance he would forever carry out for the simple reason that it gave him purpose. It was silly logic to him, but it was what made the chibi himself. And he wouldn't change that.
Dear god, maybe I am smitten.
Not much to say about this chapter. It was rather easy to write, rather amusing as well, even though it took so long to get to it. XD;;
