Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but that's okay. I like fantasizing.
Notes: Aha…. Lol, this is definitely longer. With a different style of telling too, I think… So you see, it will be very mix-matchy and weird. I'm only doing this because I feel like I should update more, and one-shots I can write quickly. Oh, and because I want to contribute more KT. I feel like I've read every fic and seen ever fanart about them. I want more to read… (cries)
In the Country
We are married. This is the life he has given me. I cook, clean, and make sure the children don't hurt themselves when they roughhouse in the front yard. I bid him farewell when he goes out to sell medicines, and I welcome him home when he comes back. These things would symbolize a normal household. But we aren't. These aren't our children. There is no romance in this house. We are married, but just.
The children love him. They mob him as he arrives. They clamber around him, fighting for attention, yelling all the while. And the hitokiri laughs, smiling cheerfully at all of them.
"Sorry I was gone so long. Did you play with Tomoe?"
"Yeah, but..."
"She's a little boring," said one of the girls, dropping her voice to a whisper. I hear her, nonetheless. And I feel a twinge of something I cannot quite name... regret?
"Anyway, you're here now," a boy calls out excitedly. "Let's play swordsmen-"
"Nooo," a girl whines. "Only the boys do that. Let's all have a race again, like last week."
I remember that. Poor Kenshin had to keep feinting trips in order to let the children win. Maybe he remembers it too, because he turns his attention to another child, standing away from the group. Ah. I want to see how he deals with this.
Her face is nervous as he comes up to her. Her words echo in my mind.
"My father says I shouldn't come here anymore... he doesn't trust Kenshin-ojisan. But Mother says that Kenshin-ojisan is a good guy."
She looks up at me hopefully, as if I'll confirm that Kenshin is indeed a good person. But I... can't say...
"You can ask him when he comes home," I say, without a trace of emotion. She looks at me with confusion, and then runs off to join the rest of the children. Of course she is confused. Wouldn't a wife defend her husband? But I can't reassure her, because I'm not even sure myself.
He brings the bloody rain...
But when I see him now, like this... So different, so kind. Too kind. Maybe that's what roused suspicion in the girl's father. Such a kind young man, appearing out of nowhere with his quiet wife. How could there be such kind strangers in the middle of a rebellion?
Because, I think, he hasn't had a chance to be kind, to be happy like this in such a long time... just like me. Except I...
I don't know if I can be happy. Even with all this, living in a pleasant countryside home, with children around me. It's what I dreamed married life would be like, what I dreamed would satisfy me. Except that the man I'm committed to... is not the one I had pictured. He is the murderer of that man.
"My dad said that there's something strange about you, so I shouldn't play with you. But my mom says you look out for everyone, so you're a good person."
I now turn towards them, watching silently. I need to hear his answer. I scan his face for any sign of sadness, anger, any negative emotion.
There is none. Instead, he's smiling. Smiling.
"I see." He reaches down to pat her head. "Well, I'll be inside all day tomorrow, so you can play with everyone."
She smiles back happily and runs off to join her friends. I'm not sure what to feel. He didn't even give a real answer.
Are you a good guy, or a bad guy?
He didn't say. Does that mean… he doesn't know, either?
Now he turns to face the other children. "It's getting late. You should all be heading home."
They obey, calling back over their shoulders good-bye.
Kenshin comes towards me.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I don't smile well. I like children, but I…"
"It's okay." He reassures me.
He smiles so much here. Has he been lacking this type of peacefulness so desperately? He's changed so much from the man who comes home with an empty expression on his face after murders in the dark. That look is gone, and now that smile always seems to be there, no matter what. Such a change…
"Especially in front of that unguarded smile…" I murmur.
He glanced at me, surprised.
"You smile a lot these days."
You don't know how I envy your smile… I want to be able to smile, like you.He seems lost in thought, and then he explains, slowly.
"Yes . . . I guess that's true. I've been though a lot of bad times. I was born in the middle of a famine; I lost my parents and brothers. Since the age of ten, I've trained relentlessly under the Hiten Mitsurugi school. Now I'm Choshu's shadow assassin. Up till now, in my dealings with people, I haven't had a lot to smile about."
We started walking, the setting sun casting red everywhere.
"I learned the principles of the Hiten Mitsurugi school, wielded a sword, killed . . . all for an age in which the powerless could find happiness," he continued. "But to tell the truth, up till now, I didn't know what happiness was."
He stopped and looked at me. "What I've come to fight for, and what I'll fight for from now on . . . Living these five months in the country, with you, has taught me that. I know that someday the fighting will begin again, but at least until New Year's, I want it to stay like this . . ."
You love the peace… I'm glad.
I've… misjudged you again.
"Come, then," I say quietly, trying to ignore the faint blush on my cheeks. "Let's have dinner."
I turn and walk towards the house, and he follows me. The silence feels awkward. I feel like I've dismissed him. And he's just told his whole history to me. But I can't reveal anything in turn… because…
I was supposed to kill you.
"I'm sorry…"
"What?"
I won't tell you. Because like you, I want this peace to last at least till New Year's…"Dinner must be cold by now."
End Notes:
Thank you so much for last chapter's reviews! I hope this one doesn't disappoint you. Thanks for telling me how to say "Uncle Kenshin" in Japanese.
