Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but that's okay. I like fantasizing. :)
Yukishiro Tomoe:
WakingWhen I wake, the sun is out and shining through the paper windows, lighting the room with its friendly yellow glow. I can even hear birds outside. The room is small and furnished plainly, with no flower decorations, but there are books scattered everywhere. I notice these small details first; my eyes flick to the side and suddenly I see him. The hitokiri from last night. He's so close to me. I freeze in shock. His dark clothes, his head bowed, his katana resting nearby, so close that I could reach out and touch it. My whole body tenses up, and my breath catches.
He's asleep… sitting up, right next to me. If that's so… was he here during the whole night? Watching me? What has he done to me? Did he…
My eyes squeeze shut, and I try to control my breathing, which has sped up along with my heart. I try to get a hold of things by feel. I have my clothes, or at least, some clothes… my kimono was drenched with blood. So was my face; I remember how warm the liquid was. I tense up under my covers, trying not to shiver in case I wake the killer. With my eyes closed, shutting out the light of day around me, I remember it more clearly. The dark alley, the dead man, cut apart so brutally. I didn't dare examine him closely with my eyes. I wasn't thinking clearly. I had kept my eyes on the murderer.
You destroyed Kiyosato.
You ruined my marriage.
You took away my future.
You made it rain blood… truly.
There really was so much blood. I don't remember anything after that. But wherever I am… he must have taken me. He touched me.
I open my eyes again, watching him silently. He's surprisingly young, just like how Tatsumi-san told me. If he's so young, maybe I have nothing to fear. I blink, surprised at myself. I look at his katana again, to remind myself of what he is. I can't believe I even need reminding. Only last night did this boy demonstrate his ruthlessness to me.
His hair is red, his bangs falling to cover his face, but I can still see his closed eyes. Even in sleep, he wears such a stern look. And on the left side of his face there is…
The scar.
Suddenly, I cannot bear to be in this room with him any longer like this, watching this sleeping killer, wondering if he watched me the same way. Taking a breath, I get upon my elbows and rise slowly from the futon, leaning away from him. He doesn't stir. I ease out the other side of the bedding, putting the blanket back in place without sound.
I'm wearing a white yukata, made of good, thick cloth. I put a hand to my face. Clean. Someone has done this to me. My eyes turn back to the red-haired hitokiri sleeping no less than five feet away from me. It wasn't him, I tell myself, trying to think rationally. He is still wearing the same clothes as last night, and if he did bathe me, wouldn't he have…
I haven't been bedded, I tell myself, sighing faintly in relief. I don't detect any pain in my body…
I get up from my knees and stand up, looking around for a change of clothes, but there are none. I move for the door, trying my best to be silent, when a soft rap comes from it, making the shoji shake slightly. I freeze, and then take my chance.
"Who is it?" I ask softly.
The shoji slides open a crack, and I see the wrinkled eye of an old woman. "Ah, you're awake! Hurry up and follow me."
She slides the shoji open further. I don't know whether to trust her or not, but wherever I am, I doubt I could trust anybody. I decide to obey her, following her docilely. When I step out into the hallway, she slides the shoji shut behind me, making sure to do it quietly so that she doesn't wake the remaining occupant in the room. I wonder briefly whether she does this because she too is wary of him, or just because of manners. Looking around at my surroundings, I can guess that maybe this is an inn. There are many rooms down all the hallways.
"Come on then," the old woman beckons again, and she starts shuffling down the hall. I follow her, trying to keep my expression neutral.
"So, you came home with Himura, last night." The woman remarks.
Her tone sounds critical, but I reply steadily. "…Yes. I fainted and he took me here."
"But that's not the whole story," she says briskly. "You were dead drunk, Miss."
"We met at a bar. I was already having drinks by myself when he arrived."
"Do you come from a brothel?"
"No," I answered, and couldn't help keep a spot of reproach out of my voice.
"Then where are you from?"
I thought a moment, wondering how much I should lie. "I… I have no family as of late. I wandered into Kyoto alone when I met Himura-san."
"Well then, I'll expect you'll be staying here for a while," she said in a satisfied voice. "I could use another helper."
I blinked in surprise. Perhaps it was only me, but I thought the woman was handling this in a strange way. I wanted to ask her if she usually took in stray women like this, but I held my tongue. If I kept silent and obedient, perhaps they wouldn't notice me, and that way, they'd be less likely to force me out.
That was my mission. To stay as close to Battousai as possible, so that I could learn the ways of his mind, find his weaknesses. Well, it seemed I had already failed. I had escaped the room in fright. Should I have stayed, to watch him? As if he would have let out any clues right then. A yawn, words spoken in sleep? I doubted it would be that easy. No, I don't think I was mistaken by leaving him. In my shaken state, he might have found something out about me.
"You can work, girl?" the innkeeper asked again. I turned back to her. I had been staring off to the side, and now she raised an eyebrow at me, obviously annoyed at my lack of attention.
"I can," I answered, making my voice docile, hoping to appease her. "I can do all basic things, and also write and arrange flowers."
My voice and what I said made her approve of me. She smiled, no doubt pleased she had snared such a skillful girl.
"All right, then…" her voice trailed off, and she waited expectantly.
"Yukishiro Tomoe," I said readily.
"Tomoe-chan, you'll just be serving the breakfast today, if you don't mind. The job is simple enough and later on in the afternoon I'll show you more of the inn."
"Yes…" Now it was my turn to wait for a name.
"Just call me Okami," said the innkeeper.
"Hai, Okami-san," I said obediently.
She leads me down the stairs to the kitchens. Some men are already up and about, as well as some other serving girls, whose ranks I suppose I will be joining soon. All give me looks, questioning from the women, admiring from the men, but they don't try to lure me into conversation, which I'm thankful for. I think part of this is because of Okami-san. Somehow, her business-like persona made her someone you wouldn't want to spend too much time with, like a scary new mother-in-law.
Only one man stops me. He has a thin mustache, and wears his shoulder length hair drawn back casually. He appeared ahead of us, said a greeting to Okami-san, to which she replied, and then stepped directly into my path, rudely. He looked down at me with an eagerly interested expression, but then his look quickly turned to surprise. Before I could wonder what that was about, he recovered himself and rubbed his chin, staring down at me.
"Ho, so this is the girl Himura brought home from last night…" he said in a loud voice, drawing attention, which I could tell immediately he liked. The few men in the corridor exchanged looks, not bothering to lower their voices. Their smirking and mystified looks told me that this was something rare, if ever done before.
"It's nice to meet you," the man smiled, bending slightly to look me in the eye, trying to be intimidating. When he smiled at me, I recognized him. My eyes must have widened a fraction. Iizuka, future traitor to the Ishin Sishi and spy for the Yaminobu, put his face closer to mine, and I stared ahead past his shoulder, still as stone.
"Keep that mask on, woman," he told me in a lower tone. I tensed as to not flinch when his breath struck my ear.
"Go on now, Iizuka-san," said Okami-san, flapping him away from behind, disliking the hold up. "You can see Tomoe-chan later. She'll be serving then."
He straightened up and gave her what could have been a mock bow as an apology, and then walked over to his comrades. "Hard to believe, huh?" he asked them, as they nodded with him. "I've got to tell the other guys. And she's pretty too, isn't she? Himura struck it big…"
His voice faded away as the men walked off, their excitement growing. I stared after him, a little startled, but I did as he told me. I replaced my mask, as firmly as ever. I stopped feeling with my face. All the emotion, the confused feelings, sunk down to my chest, and there they stayed, safely contained, and my facial expression stayed distant. Okami-san didn't even talk to me more after that, except to introduce the inn and my new chores. I was her obedient worker, and she didn't suspect a thing.
I cooked. That was my first job. I put the pickled vegetables onto their respective bowls, put each bowl on a tray, and then steamed the rice, adding what seasoning was needed. It had been a while since I worked in a kitchen. I was reminded of home, and the ache squeezed at my heart but my face was untouched. I thought of Enishi, faintly. I couldn't spare him any thoughts. From now on, ever since my decision to leave for Kyoto, we had to separate. His nee-chan had to go do important things.
Like avenge murder. It was a cruel justice, but this world was cruel.
How stupid I had been, to not suspect. I had already known that sometimes life could be unfair. That mother had been taken away from me… but the presence taken away from our household was replaced with a new one, my baby brother. And Kiyosato-san… when he had left, it had secretly hurt me, and made me worried. But even then, I hadn't known… I hadn't thought seriously that he would be killed.
How I waited for him. I waited for him to come back to me, for us to be wed, and with that, all my insecurities would magically vanish. I would have a good home, with people I loved. We'd still live in Edo. Enishi could come visit everyday, if he wished. And that I hadn't smiled at him when he proposed to me, that guilt would wash away, because I'd have the chance to smile at him every day in our new married life.
It was not so.
How I waited for him. Everything I did since he left, was just to pass the time in waiting. Even as I took care of Enishi, I was waiting. I cooked, and I was waiting. I waited, and he never came back, because the boy upstairs stole him from me.
So now I'm down here… waiting for the hitokiri.
… The end! Whee, I'm spinning more and more off the manga to my own stuff. And as for less sporadic updates… kind of hard to do, as these things don't get done on time… (due to my lack of effort, perhaps… I don't sit down and write everyday.) Well, hope you guys are satisfied, nevertheless. Thanks a bunch for reviewing. :) Oh yes, for TanukiGirl22, yes, haku baikou is white plum. Bye till next time!
